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: I'm not looking for romance, Howard. Howard
: Oh? Eunice
: No, I'm looking for something more important than that, something stronger. As the years go by, romance fades and something else takes its place. Do you know what that is? Howard
: Senility? Eunice
: Trust! Howard
: That's what I meant.
: [while Judge Maxwell is making a list of crimes with which to charge a group of people
] They tried to molest me. Judge Maxwell
[looks at Eunice
] Judge Maxwell
: Don't you know the meaning of propriety? Judy
: Propriety; noun: conformity to established standards of behavior or manner, suitability, rightness, or justice. See "etiquette."
: I am afraid one of our guests has lost something. Eunice
: Well, I fail to see how it could possibly be in here unless it crawled here under its own power. Fritz
: Precisely Miss Burns. Eunice
: What are you saying? Fritz
: It appears one of our guests, a wealthy eccentric, has lost his pet snake.
[Eunice screams and jumps onto the bed
: Calm yourself, Miss Burns. May I suggest you shut yourself in the bathroom for a few moments while I search your room? Eunice
: What if it's in there? Fritz
: Impossible, madam. Snakes, as you know, live in mortal fear of... tile.
[Eunice scurries into the bathroom
: [reaches under bed and pulls out one of the cases
] It's all right Miss Burns. You can come out now. Eunice
: What more can they do to me?
: Steve, you didn't tell me you were married. Howard
: We're not married. Judy
: Congratulations. Eunice
: But we will be soon. Judy
: This woman claims to be a Eunice Burns. Eunice
: I am not "A" Eunice Burns, I am "THE" Eunice Burns!
: Now, tell me how you are going to introduce yourself. Howard
: What? Oh, well, I'll probably say something like "Hello there, Mr Larrabee. I'm Howard." Eunice
: You are not. Howard
: I am not Howard. Eunice
: You are not going to say "Hi, my name's Howard." Anyone could say that! Anyone. Howard
: Anyone named Howard.
: [fighting off a waiter trying to restrain her
] Howard! Howard Bannister! They're trying, they're trying to keep me out! Frederick Larrabee
: [to Howard
] Who is that dangerously unbalanced woman? Eunice
: Howard! Howard! Tell them who I am. Tell them who I am. I *demand* that you tell them who I am right this minute. Howard
: [after a long pause
] I never saw this woman before in my life.
[Eunice faints and is dragged from the room, leaving scuff marks on the floor. Judy whistles
: Well come in, I'll do your tie. Howard
: What tie is that Eunice? Eunice
: Your tie. The tie in your hand.
: Eunice. Eunice. Eunice, please open the door, I have wonderful news. Eunice
: I do not want your apologies Howard. I think it is too late for that. Howard
: All right. No apologies. Eunice
: Have you no heart? I would have thought after all you have done you would come crawling for forgiveness.
: Mr Larrabee. Frederick Larrabee
: Frederick. Eunice
: Frederick. Will you help me? Frederick Larrabee
: Yes, I will. Who are you? Eunice
: I am Eunice Burns. Hugh
: Who cares who she is. We're going to be killed.
: Since when have you taken bubble baths? Howard
: It came out of the faucet that way, Eunice.
: Why are your rocks in the bathroom?
: I think I'll get dressed now. Eunice
: [on telephone
] Howard, who was that? Howard
: Who was what? Eunice
: I heard a voice say something about getting dressed. Howard
: It's the television set, Eunice. There's a movie on, a war movie. They're getting dressed for the big battle. Eunice
: It was a woman's voice! Howard
: Yes, they're lady soldiers, Eunice. It's called the "Fighting WACs".
: [to operator on hotel phone
] Uh, Miss Eunice Burns, please. Eunice
: [Answers phone
] Yes? Judy
: [Switches to heavy Brooklyn accent
] Miss Burns, uh this is Sylvia, Mr. Larrabee's personal secretary. There's been a little mixup in the invitation for this afternoon. Eunice
: Yes. Judy
: Yes. The luncheon has been switched from Mr. Larrabee's home to one of the Larrabee Foundation offices. Eunice
: Oh, but Mr. Bannister has already gone for the... Judy
: Oh yes, I managed to catch Mr. Bannister on his way out and tell him. The address of the luncheon is - uh do you have a pencil, darling? Eunice
: Yes. Judy
: 459 Dirello Street. Eunice
: Dirello... Judy
: Yes, Second floor. Eunice
: I see. Well thank you, Miss... Judy
: Uh Louise. Eunice
: I thought you said 'Sylvia'? Judy
: Uh yes, Sylvia-Louise, you know, with a hyphen.
: What is that? Howard
: It's a bath, Eunice. I was going to take a bath. Eunice
: Since when do you take bubble baths? Howard
: It came out of the faucet that way.
: Officer! What are these people being charged with Arresting Officer
: It's kind of hard to explain, Judge. Judge Maxwell
: Give it a shot. Arresting Officer
: Well we picked most of them out of San Francisco bay. Judge Maxwell
: Entering the country illegally? Arresting Officer
: No sir, they drove in. Judge Maxwell
: Into the country? Arresting Officer
: Into the bay. Judge Maxwell
: Ah, that's better. Unauthorized use of public water. Arresting Officer
: Mostly in stolen cars. Judge Maxwell
: Ah ha, that's grand larceny. Arresting Officer
: Then there was a shooting... Judge Maxwell
: That's assault with a deadly weapon. Frederick Larrabee
: They broke into my home. Judge Maxwell
: That's breaking and entering. Frederick Larrabee
: [indicating Eunice
] And brought her with them forcibly! Judge Maxwell
: That's kidnapping. Eunice
: They tried to molest me. Judge Maxwell
: That's... unbelievable.
: Don't touch his rocks. Eunice
: I'll take care of those.
: Don't kick those rocks, you Philistine!