Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell
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Quotes for
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell (Character)
from The Presidio (1988)

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The Presidio (1988)
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Now, are you sure you want to have a fight? Because I'm only gonna use my thumb.
Bully in Bar: Thumb?
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: My right thumb. Left one's much too powerful for you.

Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: You're not going out dressed like that, are you?
Donna Caldwell: Like what?
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Well, you can see right through that dress. You might just as well go out without one.
Donna Caldwell: There's a thought.

Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Ah, shit on a stick.

Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: [to Julius] Now why don't you ask him how he won the Medal of Honor?
Sgt. Major Ross Maclure: How old are you, Julius?
Julius: Eight.
Sgt. Major Ross Maclure: You want to live to be nine?
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Obviously he didn't win it for charm.

Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: We used to joke that being in the army was not a matter of life and death. It's more important than that.

[Lt.Col Caldwell has just beaten up the bully in the bar who had started a fight with him]
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: You see these little oak leaves?
[points to the silver oak leaves on his lapels]
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: They're silver. That means I'm a lieutenant colonel. If they were gold, THEN I'd be a major! You understand?
Bully in Bar: [grunts & nods] Yes sir!
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: That's good. Because the next time you see an officer of the Army, you'll be able to recognize his rank... and he won't get pissed off, and accidentally hurt you. Understand?
Bully in Bar: Yes sir.
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Good.
[Lt-Col. Caldwell punches him and walks out of the bar]

Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: What in the hell is "the Dead"?
Jay Austin: You wouldn't understand.
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Try me.
Jay Austin: The Grateful Dead.
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: The Grateful Dead?
Jay Austin: Grateful Dead.
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: I don't understand.
Jay Austin: [sarcastically] That's a surprise.