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: Who would you rather do: Agent Scully or Gillian Anderson? Alicia DeGasario
: They're the same person, you idiot. Eddie Lampell
: [to Chase
] How about you? Chase
: Let's see, a flaky, self-absorbed actress or a gun-toting, badass FBI agent with years of pent-up sexual tension? No contest. Eddie Lampell
: My man. What I wouldn't do to Scully... Alicia DeGasario
: I'm sure she's been drooled on before.
: Sorry, Dave. I would've driven him home, but I can't drive his car. It's a stick. Eddie Lampell
: Well, I'll show you how to drive a stick right now. Here it is. Come on. Dee Vine
: I meant a real car, Eddie, not a matchbox.
[Eddie is beating up Dave
] Eddie Lampell
: What are you thinking Designated Dave? Huh? This isn't Revenge of the Nerds, man! No radioactive spider bit you!
: You think you're Miss Thing. But you know what? You're just a wanna-be who got lucky with a case of bulimia!
: The key to pleasing a woman is sweet talk. You're so beautiful. Have you lost weight? And then there are the three words that always seal the deal for me... Chase
: Another tequila shot?