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: Buzz McNab! Christmas spirits told me to give this to you.
[Shawn gives Buzz a BB gun
: Oh my goodness, a Daisy Red Ryder! I had one of these when I was a kid. It was the reason I wanted to become a policeman. Shawn Spencer
: Well, Merry Christmas from me and Gus. McNab
: Thanks, guys.
[Buzz walks away, cradling the gun
] Burton 'Gus' Guster
: He's going to shoot his eye out. Shawn Spencer
: Yes, he is.
: What I'm sensing here, ladies and gentlemen, is murder. Carlton Lassiter
: Spencer, old people are always offing themselves over the holidays. McNab
: Oh, according to CSU, Shawn might be right. Shawn Spencer
: Colorado State University. Burton 'Gus' Guster
: Crime Scene Unit. Shawn Spencer
: Them too.
: [about Lassiter and O'Hara
] They took my candy bar. McNab
: They took my watch.
: McNab! Carlton Lassiter
: We're commandeering your watch. McNab
] You're commandeering my... Carlton Lassiter
: Watch! McNab
: [Lassiter and O'Hara walk into the police station looking like road-kill
] What happened to you guys? Carlton Lassiter
: The diamond smuggling case that Detective O'Hara wanted to take didn't go quite as planned. Juliet O'Hara
: That *I* wanted to take! You're the one who insisted on it, Mr. *Head* Detective.
[O'Hara and Lassiter trick McNab into taking their unwanted case
] Buzz McNab
: Wow! Thanks, guys. This means a lot. The fact that you think so highly of me that... Carlton Lassiter
: Yeah, yeah, we love you. Get back to work.
: Listen, I got a call about two creepy dudes hanging out on the playground. Burton 'Gus' Guster
: Really? I haven't seen anything, but I'll keep my eyes open. Shawn Spencer
: Yeah, we've just been here hanging out in the bushes.
] Shawn Spencer
: Oh, boy...
: I got the information because... I'm psychic. Carlton Lassiter
: Get him out of here! Shawn Spencer
: Oh boy!
[leans against the door, looks at the desk sergeant
] Shawn Spencer
: Your grandmother would be so proud. Desk Sergeant
: You spoke to her? Shawn Spencer
: I did. She's safe, comfortable. She wants you to stop spending all your money on those charlatans. Desk Sergeant
: The palm readers? Shawn Spencer
: The palm readers. Lucinda
: Okay, just to be clear, um, you're claiming to be a psychic, Mr. Spencer. Shawn Spencer
: [moves his hands around until one is pointing at Lassiter and the other at Lucinda
] How else would I know that you two are sleeping together? 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1...
[turns to Officer McNab
] Shawn Spencer
: When's the wedding? McNab
: May 3rd - wait, how'd you know? Shawn Spencer
: I'm getting dance lessons for a wedding reception and you are getting good! McNab
: Wow! That's amazing. Carlton Lassiter
: Oh, come on! Who's buying this?
[McNab, the desk sergeant, and a guy in a holding cell all raise their hands
: [on Lassiter's theory of the crime
] It does seem very elaborate. McNab
: And just a bit far-fetched. Carlton Lassiter
: Are you a detective? Why are you here? McNab
: You asked for all of us to come. Carlton Lassiter
: Oh, well, officer, since you're such an expert on fetching, why don't you go fetch me a cup of coffee?
: The doctors say I have a severe concussion, but I fine feel.
: The girl, McNab! What did you find out about the girl I met last night? Buzz McNab
: Oh, I might need a little more to gone on, sir. Carlton Lassiter
: What more do you need? What more do you need? I told you she's blonde and pale and perfect and beautiful and perfect! So get me a name and get me an address... and get me some aspirin.
: [as McNab runs over to open his car door
] Whoa! Easy there! Keep those oversized mitts off the car. This is a brand new issued vehicle. It's cherry and its going to stay that way. It's almost too sweet to drive. Buzz McNab
] Mmmmm... Smells like new car plus lemons. Carlton Lassiter
: Yeah, it does! Buzz McNab
: [looks in car window
] Is that leather? Carlton Lassiter
: Pleather. Closest thing to it, though.