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Quotes for
Benjamin Harvey (Character)
from Captain Ron (1992)

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Captain Ron (1992)
Benjamin Harvey: [Overhearing his parents] Wow. We're getting a boat? Too cool.
Katherine Harvey: Ben, remember our discussion about eavesdropping?
Benjamin Harvey: Okay. But we're getting a boat?
Katherine Harvey: Your father and I have to talk about it.
Benjamin Harvey: Alright. We're getting a boat.

Benjamin Harvey: Man. What happened to your eye?
Martin Harvey: Ben.
Katherine Harvey: Sweetie, that's rude.
Captain Ron: No, that's alright. Shark attack, swab.
Benjamin Harvey: A shark ate your eye?

[as Ben, who's 12, moves Captain Ron's beer]
Captain Ron: Hey. Get your hands off that.
Benjamin Harvey: I was just moving it. I wasn't gonna drink it.
Captain Ron: You bet your little booty, you wasn't. You want a beer, you get your own beer.

Katherine Harvey: What are we going to do?
Martin Harvey: What can we do? Look around you. The sun is almost up. We are marooned in an unfriendly country. We have no luggage, no money, no passports and worse still... no reason or explination for even being here!
Katherine Harvey: But we have our boat.
Martin Harvey: No dear. If you'll look again, you'll notice that the pirates have our boat.
Caroline Harvey: Now, wait a minute. That's our boat. We should do something.
Martin Harvey: What are you saying?
Katherine Harvey: I think she's saying that if the pirates have our boat, we should take it back from them. I say we fight them.
Martin Harvey: Bloodthirsty, heavily armed Cuban pirates against the Harvey clan? It would take a miracle.
[just then a 1950s retro car speeds by them]
Benjamin Harvey: Look! It's Captain Ron!

[being chased by pirates]
Benjamin Harvey: All right! They're pirates of the Caribbean, just like you said Captain Ron.
Captain Ron: Yeah, squirt. Pirates are easy to deal with. It's the Cuban cops that you gotta worry about. Grand theft auto is a major biggie here in Cuba.
Martin Harvey: Grand theft auto? You stole this car?
Captain Ron: Nah, I didn't steal it, boss. I borrowed it. Sort of...

Martin Harvey: [Walks down to the Ship's Cabin] What's this?
Caroline Harvey: Monopoly.
Martin Harvey: No, this.
[Holding a handgun]
Benjamin Harvey: Two .45's and a Mac-10.
Caroline Harvey: It's this total macho trip, Dad, just ignore it.
Martin Harvey: Where'd they come from?
Benjamin Harvey: Captain Ron traded the Guerrillas for 'em.
Captain Ron: Yeah, I thought we'd ought to have them, Boss. Cause, you know, we're gettin' into pirate waters, here, pretty quick.
Martin Harvey: What pirates?
Captain Ron: Pirates, of the Caribbean.
Martin Harvey: Been to Disney World, one too many times? Have we, Captain Ron?
Benjamin Harvey: It's true, Dad! They come up on you in high speed boats!
Captain Ron: You know, I don't believe I've been to Disney World...
[Interrupted by Martin Harvey]
Captain Ron: I've been to DollyWood.

Captain Ron: Hey, you wouldn't be trying to cheat Captain Ron there, would you, swab?
Benjamin Harvey: Uh, no sir. Uh, so what happened?
Captain Ron: Ah, nothing. They were just playing hide-the-salami in the shower
Captain Ron: [Ben spits his beer up] Oh, come on, man!

Benjamin Harvey: What about your other eye?
Captain Ron: Glass, swab.
Benjamin Harvey: Too cool!
Captain Ron: Yeah. I won it in a crap game a few years back.

Captain Ron: [Captain Ron and Benjamin are playing Monopoly for money] Three houses, 375! That's 37 cents.
Benjamin Harvey: Well that's... half the money I have left.
Captain Ron: Yeah, shit happens. Cough it up.

Martin Harvey: [stressing to his family that they need to learn all the things about seamanship that Capt. Ron is trying to drill into them] You gotta' learn the basics.
Captain Ron: And, you gotta' be prepared.
Martin Harvey: That's right...
Captain Ron: I'm not talkin' Boy Scout prepared, I mean *big-time* prepared.
Martin Harvey: [downplaying it] Well, prepared for any kind of *normal* accident...
Captain Ron: This is the Caribbean, guys. "El Caribe." The Spanish Main. The land of hoo-doo and voodoo and all kinda' weird shit.
Benjamin Harvey: Whoa!