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Quotes for
Jeff Davis (Character)
from Slackers (2002)

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Slackers (2002)
Jeff: Yoo-hoo, it's Steve Pasternack, looking for Angela! Angela, please!
Reanna: Do I fucking know you?
Jeff: Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world "famous" notes. So I was wondering if I could... are you busy with something?
Reanna: Yeah. I was masturbating.
Jeff: Heh. Hoo! Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, that's what you get when you go to art school.

Jeff: We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay.

Singing Waiter: When I say happy, you say birthday! Happy!
Dave, Jeff, Sam: Birthday!
Dave, Jeff, Sam: Happy!
Dave, Jeff, Sam: Birthday!
Singing Waiter: When I say birthday, you say party! Birthday!
Dave, Jeff, Sam: Party!

Dave: I'm a commercial airline pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Yeah, whatever.
Dave: No, I'm a commercial airline pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Ha, ha.
Dave: I, ladies, am a professional... commercial... airline... pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Cool!
Hot Twin #2: Cool!
Hot Twin #1: Is he a pilot too?
Jeff: FBI. I get the ugly one.

Dave: It was my fate to meet her.
Jeff: But it wasn't your fate to be with her. Unfortunately, my friend, fate has a different plan for you. You will grow up, go out into the world. You'll forget all about the things that happened here. Ethan, Angela... the shit we pulled. Those hookers that we thought were girls. And you're going to go out there and no-one - no-one can shoot you down because a woman one time stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake. That is your fate, Dave. Just as it is my fate to some day become shogun.

Jeff: One... two... three... four hard nipples