Georgia 'George' Lass
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Quotes for
Georgia 'George' Lass (Character)
from "Dead Like Me" (2003)

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"Dead Like Me: Pilot (#1.1)" (2003)
[last lines]
Georgia 'George' Lass: I think death for me was just a wake up call.

George: But if death sneaks up on you, the only thing you have time to think is 'Ah shit!'

George: [George was supposed to reap her first soul, a little girl] If you want her to die so bad, *you* do it!
Rube: [angrily] I can't, no one can except you. Death is non-transferable, she's *your* mark. Only you can do the deed.
George: Well then, barring any unforeseen accidents, I'd say she has another eighty years.
Rube: Yeah, well you believe me, that's eighty years she doesn't want.
George: What is that supposed to mean?
Rube: Her fate was sealed the moment she got onto that train. Her soul expired. You know what happens when you keep a soul around after its time?
George: No.
Rube: Same thing happens to milk. It spoils, goes bad, souls go bad in all kinds of ways.
George: But...
Rube: [continues to speak in quiet anger] If you're having trouble comprehending the severity of the situation, why don't you consult Webster's on the definition of bad? If you don't take her soul, it's going to wither and die and rot inside her. I've seen it happen. Do you wish to condemn her to that?
George: [crying] She's just a little girl. She can't die, it's cruel!
Rube: [gently] It is cruel. It's cruel she won't know what life's really like. It's cruel that she'll miss out on so much love and pain and beauty, and that's sad for everyone in the world except for her. She won't give a rat's ass, she'll be doing something different. That's just the way it is.
George: I... I just wanted to save her.

[George has just attended her own autopsy]
George: So, what's next? Onward and upward?
Rube: "Onward", not "upward". No pearly gates for you. No choirs of angels, either.
George: You dick! You're sendin' me to hell?
Rube: Don't flatter yourself. You're not that interesting.

Data Entry Guy: Files don't just disappear.
George: They do if you drop them down an elevator shaft.

[Mason shows George how the undead look to the living]
George: Who decides what we look like?
Mason: I don't know. Maybe this is what our inner child looks like when it grows up.
George: If that were the case, it looks like my inner child's road to adulthood was paved with crack cocaine, ten-dollar blowjobs, and maybe even a trick baby or two.

Joy: I hate to say "I told you so."
George: You love to say "I told you so."

George: [the toilet seat falls from the sky. George stares at it] They say your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the moment before you die... That might be true if you're terminally ill or your parachute doesn't open. But if death sneaks up on you, the only time you have to think is: "Aw, shit."
[the toilet seat hits George and explodes]

George: We lead our lives, and when they end, sometimes we leave a little of ourselves behind. Sometimes we leave money, a painting, sometimes we leave a kind word. And sometimes, we leave an empty space.

George: I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation beget disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C Equals A, or whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law. So you see my dilemma.

Rube: You like spaghetti, George? I like spaghetti. I like board games. I like grabbing a trifecta with that longshot on top. That ozone smell you get from air purifiers. And I like knowing the space between my ears is immeasurable. Mahler's first, Bernstein conducting. You've got to think about all the things you like and decide whether they're worth sticking around for. And if they are, you'll find a way to do this.
George: And what if I don't?
Rube: Then you go away, and you don't get to like anything anymore.

George: Well, I want my life back!
Betty: It's not like you were doing anything with it.

George: [voiceover] Let's go for a ride. My name is Georgia Lass. I'm 18 years old and I'm down there. somewhere
[shows world]
George: I'm going to tell you a story, not my story, that's later, this is just a story... Ready? Once upon a time, or more specifically at the dawn of time, god, lower case "g", was getting busy with creation, as the kids these days are saying. He gave Toad a clay jar and said, "Be careful with this. It's got death inside". Pleased as punch and oblivious to the fact that he was about to become god's fall guy on the whole death issue, Toad promised to guard the jar. Then one day Toad met Frog. "Let me hold the jar of death, or what ever you call it", Frog begged. With a nod to Nancy Reagan's pros of wisdom, Toad just said no. But Frog was determined, and after much whining Toad finally gave in. "You can hold it, but only for a second", he said. In his excitement, Frog began to hop around and juggle the death jar from one foot to the other. Frog was an asshole. "Stop!" Toad cried out, but it was to late. Frog dropped the jar and it shattered to the ground. When it broke open, death got out, and ever since then all living things have to die. Makes you wonder how much better the world would be if frogs just stuck to hawking beer. So there you have it, the mystery of death finally revealed. We all die, some of us sooner then later. For me it's going to be much sooner. But that's only the beginning of my story.

[a flaming toilet seat is about to hit George]
George: Oh, shit.

Joy: There is going to be a funeral if you don't get your ass out of bed.
George: [Voice over] Those are the last words my mother will ever say to me.


Dead Like Me: Life After Death (2009) (V)
Reggie Lass: Just because you're dead doesn't mean that I can't move in with you.
George Lass: And just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't have a splitting headache.

Daisy Adair: I'm returning to the theatre.
George Lass: Returning? I thought you only did movies.
Daisy Adair: What's the difference?
George Lass: A life audience.

[last lines]
George Lass: I am so fucked...

Delores Herbig: It's amazing how such a small creature could fit into something so big!
George Lass: Well, Murray had a big heart.
George Lass: [Thinking] And Cameron was a big ass.

George Lass: [Upon meeting their new boss] Not to be all 'What the fuck?' about this but...
Roxy Harvey: What the fuck?


"Dead Like Me: Send in the Clown (#2.1)" (2004)
George: [voice over] Look at those lips. I just want to bite your face. I wanna tear your skin off and make pajamas out of them and wear them to bed.

Daisy Adair: These are all at the Farmer's Market in exactly 27 minutes. I smell a disaster.
Mason: No, five deaths is not a disaster.
George: How many deaths is a disaster?
Mason: More than five. Five's bullshit.
George: How many?
Mason: 16-20 is a disaster. 21 and up: catastrophe. 8-15 is a calamity.
Rube Sofer: Seven and under?
Mason: That's a crying shame.

George: Life sucks, and then you die... and then it still sucks.


"Dead Like Me: Dead Girl Walking (#1.2)" (2003)
George: People say the Lord works in mysterious ways. As if that makes all the shitty things in life any sweeter. Death is equally mysterious, but there's no sugar-coating that turd.

Rube: [in the morgue, referring to a corpse George was supposed to reap but did not,whose soul is still inside the body] Well, you really fucked the dog, peanut.
George: I didn't make an appointment.
Rube: You had an appointment.
George: Correct me if I'm wrong, but mission accomplished.
Rube: You're wrong. That was me correcting you.


"Dead Like Me: Always (#2.14)" (2004)
Daisy Adair: He's not staying here.
Georgia 'George' Lass: You're being totally selfish.
Daisy Adair: That's a fine sentiment coming from you.
Georgia 'George' Lass: Excuse me? I am the most...
Daisy Adair: Self-involved is what you are, Georgia. You're always in your own head. It's like you're talking to yourself.
Georgia 'George' Lass: [thinking] Am I?
Mason: She has got a point, Georgie.
Daisy Adair, Georgia 'George' Lass: Shut up, Mason.
Mason: Fine. Jesus.

Georgia 'George' Lass: Who the fuck are you calling insolent?


"Dead Like Me: Vacation (#1.13)" (2003)
George: Maybe Death was the Temp job and life was a vacation. A Vacation we were supposed to spend with the people you loved, with people who loved you. And if life was that kind of vacation what then? What would your last thoughts be then?

George: [voice over] It was strange to think that while we got to work, all over town, death was taking a break. Not that anyone noticed. Death is kind of like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralysed.


"Dead Like Me: Death Defying (#2.10)" (2004)
Ray Summers: [George and Ray are playing darts and Ray sees Mason and Daisy laughing together] So what's that about?
Georgia 'George' Lass: Probably you.
Ray Summers: I find your friend Daisy painfully attractive.
Georgia 'George' Lass: Take a number.
Ray Summers: How do you know her?
Georgia 'George' Lass: That's none of your fucking business.
Ray Summers: You're an angry little thing aren't you?
Georgia 'George' Lass: [turns to face him] You call me a "little thing" again and I'll put this fuckin' dart right between your twinkling eyes!
Ray Summers: Nother' tequila?
Georgia 'George' Lass: Please.
[throws dart]
Georgia 'George' Lass: So you the love em' and leave em' type?
Ray Summers: I've done that.
Georgia 'George' Lass: What is up with that?
Ray Summers: What's the matter George? A boy not nice to you?
Georgia 'George' Lass: [sarcastically] No, I'm good.
Ray Summers: I'll bet you are.
[turns to bartender]
Ray Summers: Macy, two more.
Ray Summers: Ok George, five reasons men are scum and women let us get away with it. One, we only want one thing. No exceptions. Two, we fall in love with you before we can have that thing and then fall back out once we've had it, whereas women conversely fall in love afterwards. Three, we will lie, cheat, steal, or murder in order to get that thing... Why am I sugarcoating this? You're a big girl. In order to FUCK you.
[George's eyes widen]
Ray Summers: Four, we freely admit the number is one through three, and women don't care. And the number five reason why men are scum and women let us get away with it, you can't live without us.
Georgia 'George' Lass: Here's to your bullshit Ray
[they clink glasses and drink a shot, then George throws 3 darts, the last one a perfect bullseye]
Georgia 'George' Lass: Fuckin' men.

Kiffany: What would you like, sweetie?
Georgia 'George' Lass: Revenge.
Kiffany: [unfazed] We're out of that. Anything else?
Georgia 'George' Lass: Oatmeal and raisins.


"Dead Like Me: A Cook (#1.8)" (2003)
Delores Herbig: Are you a doer in the home, Millie?
George: I'm more of a TV watcher.

George: I named my chick Tweety; problem was, our cat Sylvester, ate Tweety... and promptly choked to death. It was a grisly scene, possibly a murder suicide pact, I don't know what the fuck happened.


"Dead Like Me: Sunday Mornings (#1.9)" (2003)
Georgia 'George' Lass: We're going out.
Mason: I'd love to join you.
Georgia 'George' Lass: Well, it's girls' night out. We're going to lesbian bars to drink Jack Daniels and make out with big women.

[Roxy puts a ticket on a drifter's truck]
Chuck: Take it back.
Roxy Harvey: Ticket's already been written. They don't go back.
Chuck: All right. Okay, then why don't you just shove those tickets where the sun don't shine, miss?
Roxy Harvey: Step aside, sir. As I told you yesterday, if you have a complaint, there's a system in place.
Chuck: Your system can suck my dick, miss. Okay? Now I ain't ever gonna pay those fucking tickets, so just take your tickets, put 'em in your fucking pocket and walk off.
Roxy Harvey: You need to step off.
Chuck: Step off? Step off? Okay, okay... step off!
[Chuck attacks Roxy's vehicle]
Roxy Harvey: Sir, that is city property!
Chuck: You're not listening to me, okay! I ain't never gonna pay those tickets, so you take 'em back! I don't give a fuck about your goddamn rules, so take those goddamn tickets back!
[grabs the tickets and slaps them against Roxy's chest]
Roxy Harvey: Hold up, now! I can tolerate you cursing me out, screaming at me, disrespecting my vehicle but don't you *ever* put your hands on me!
[Chuck pokes Roxy repeatedly]
Georgia 'George' Lass: [v.o] And that's when Roxy decided she didn't care about breaking the rules, either.
[Roxy pulls Chuck's soul out of his body]
Roxy Harvey: Let me tell you something. I am trying to do my job, which is definitely my day job. If you keep fucking with me, there are other skills I can employ that will give your life a turn for the strange and the painful! Do you understand me?
[Chuck nods and Roxy puts his soul back]


"Dead Like Me: Haunted (#2.15)" (2004)
[last lines]
George: [voice-over] It's not so bad... being dead like me.

[last lines]
George: I'm not supposed to be here, but I am. I don't know if I'm supposed to watch over them or just haunt them. Either way, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having fun. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be here, walking thru a graveyard, the day after Halloween, on a quiet and beautiful November morning. It's not so bad... being dead like me.


"Dead Like Me: The Bicycle Thief (#1.11)" (2003)
George: to her mother who's trying to help her ride a bicycle "I can do it! Hands off ! Hands off !" happy cause she did it,yelling at her mother while riding "I'm doing it ! I'm doing it ! And I'm never coming back !"


"Dead Like Me: Reapercussions (#1.4)" (2003)
Georgia 'George' Lass: [thinking] It seemed like a good time to slip in under the radar.
Georgia 'George' Lass: Oh, um, I forgot to tell you; my last guy didn't show up. Just thought you might want to know. What's the soup today?
Rube Sofer: Cream of bullshit.


"Dead Like Me: Rites of Passage (#2.7)" (2004)
George: [voice-over] Every day, I watch people die. Why one death means more than another, I have no idea. I think people need something familiar. Something they can remember.


"Dead Like Me: Last Call (#2.13)" (2004)
Georgia 'George' Lass: Daisy, you tracked mud in the house. What were you doing that was so muddy?
Mason: BOWLING!


"Dead Like Me: Rest in Peace (#1.14)" (2003)
George: The day I dropped out of college, I remember lying on my bed. My mother came into my room and she had been crying. She stared at me for a long time and then she said, 'You only have one shot at life, Georgia. This is no dress rehearsal,' and I said,'You know what, mom. Maybe I don't even want to be in the play.' Two months later I was killed. I wonder sometimes if someone was listening.


"Dead Like Me: Business Unfinished (#1.10)" (2003)
Daisy Adair: What's with the parlor tricks, asshole?
Mason: You just gave up two grand!
[Daisy looks at George]
George: Don't look at me, he came up with the lame ghost shit.
Daisy Adair: Mason, I'm going to make this very simple so you're able to understand. We have the ghost. You only need parlor tricks when you can't talk to the dead, you dumb fucking limey!


"Dead Like Me: My Room (#1.6)" (2003)
Daisy Adair: I once gave Erroll Flynn a handjob in a convertible.
Georgia 'George' Lass: [uncomfortably] That's a nice story.


"Dead Like Me: In Escrow (#2.6)" (2004)
Georgia 'George' Lass: I'm so fucking smart I scare myself.


"Dead Like Me: Curious George (#1.3)" (2003)
Georgia 'George' Lass: [upon seeing her old bedroom, all boxed and cataloged] God bless my mom. If she ever put a bullet through her head, it would probably be labeled.


"Dead Like Me: Ashes to Ashes (#2.11)" (2004)
George: Generosity is for people who can afford it.


"Dead Like Me: The Ledger (#2.2)" (2004)
Security Expert: RIPOF: Report, Identify, Prove, Ostracize, Fire.
George: Rip of?
Security Expert: You got a problem there, Millie?
George: You misspelled rip off. Dropped an "f".
Security Expert: Oh, I see. We have ourselves a smart ass.
George: Don't you mean "smart as"?


"Dead Like Me: Reaper Madness (#1.7)" (2003)
Georgia 'George' Lass: [voiceover] Except for the fact that he was mentally ill and I was undead, it was starting to feel like a date.