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Quotes for
Shorty Kellems (Character)
from "The Beverly Hillbillies" (1962)

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"The Beverly Hillbillies: What Happened to Shorty? (#8.17)" (1970)
Jed Clampett: So, you called Elverna?
Shorty Kellems: Yep. I told her I heard about her fixin' up the hotel and I asked her if she'd sell the hotel to me.
Shad: What did she say?
Shorty Kellems: She said, no she wouldn't. She said business was good and the hotel was full of traveling salesmen. Then I asked her if it was true she had won a beauty contest. She said it was.
Jed Clampett: See?
Shorty Kellems: Then I offered her a $200 profit and she still said no. So, we got to dickering back and forth and forth to back and finally she said to me, "Shorty Kellams" she said, "The only way you'll ever get your hands on this hotel again is if you marry me."
Shad: What did you say Shorty?
Shorty Kellems: Shad, I thought it over for a minute. Then I hit her with them three little words: Kiss my foot!
Shorty Kellems: [to Jed and Shad] Let's play checkers.