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Quotes for
Cousin Pearl Bodine (Character)
from "The Beverly Hillbillies" (1962)

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"The Beverly Hillbillies: Jed's Dilemma (#1.17)" (1963)
Jethrine Bodine: [Granny and Cousin Pearl disagreeing over who is going to cook in the kitchen] Hey, Uncle Jed. Come on back. There's gonna be a fight.
Cousin Pearl Bodine: Oh, I don't fight nobody twice my age.
Daisy Moses: There ain't nobody twice your age!
Cousin Pearl Bodine: I happen to be on the sunny side of 45.
[slaps table]
Daisy Moses: Well, then move over into the shade. You're drying up something awful.

Cousin Pearl Bodine: I've got Clampett blood in my veins.
Granny: You wanna keep it there, you stay outta my kitchen.

Cousin Pearl Bodine: I just hope and pray when I get to be her age that somebody will be lookin' after me.
Granny: You can quit hopin' and prayin'... and if you keep messin' around with my kitchen, you ain't gonna git to be my age.

Cousin Pearl Bodine: Jethro, why don't you try usin' your head for thinkin'?
Jethro Bodine: I HAVE tried Ma, and it hurts.

Cousin Pearl Bodine: [Pearl is doing the ironing in the kitchen while Jethrine is walking towards the door holding Granny's rocking chair] Where are you going with that, Jethrine?
Jethrine Bodine: Outside.
Cousin Pearl Bodine: I told you to take it up to Granny's bedroom.
Jethrine Bodine: And Granny told me to take it outside.
Cousin Pearl Bodine: Your taking your orders from me and not from Granny. That old woman is old and tired and we owe it to her to let her rest. Now, just hope and pray that when I get to be her age, that somebody will be looking after me.
Granny: [Granny enters the kitchen without Pearl knowing and taps Pearl's shoulder] You can quit hoping and praying! And if you don't stop messing around my kitchen you ain't gonna get to get to be my age!

Jethro: Come on back, Uncle Jed! There's going to be a fight.
Cousin Pearl Bodine: Oh, I don't fight nobody twice my age!
Granny: There ain't nobody twice your age!
Cousin Pearl Bodine: I happen to be on the sunny side of forty-five!
Granny: Well, move into the shade 'cause your dryin' up something awful!


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Clampetts Strike Oil (#1.1)" (1962)
Cousin Pearl Bodine: Jethro, tell your Uncle Jed why there ain't no snow in California.
Jethro: Don't look at me, I didn't take it!

Jed Clampett: What do you think Pearl? You think I oughta move?
Cousin Pearl Bodine: Jed, how can you even ask? Look around you. You live eight miles from your nearest neighbor. You're overrun with skunks, possums, coyotes, and bobcats. You use kerosene lamps for light. You cook on a wood stove, summer and winter. You're drinkin' homemade moonshine, and washin' with homemade lye soap. And your bathroom is fifty feet from the house. And you ask should you move!?
Jed Clampett: [ponders all this] Yeah, I reckon you're right. Man'd be a dang fool to leave all this.

Cousin Pearl Bodine: Jethro, I told you to get rid of them worn-out brakes.
Jethro: I did Ma. That's how come we ain't got none.

Jed Clampett: I know it don't sound like much, but Mr. Brewster seemed to set great store by the fact he's going to pay me in some new kind of dollar.
Cousin Pearl Bodine: There ain't no new kind of dollar.
Jed Clampett: Well it was new to me. I've heard of gold dollars, silver dollars, paper dollars, but he said he's gonna pay me in a... what'd he call them, Granny?
Granny: Million dollars.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Jed Plays Solomon (#1.21)" (1963)
Cousin Pearl Bodine: I forgive you. I forgive you.
Daisy Moses: But I deserve to be punished and punished bad. Sing to me Pearl!


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Elly Races Jethrine (#1.11)" (1962)
Cousin Pearl Bodine: Jethrine, why couldn't you have been born with some of my brains instead of just my beauty?


The Beverly Hillbillies (1993)
Aunt Pearl: You folks oughta move yourselves to a place like... Beverly Hills, Californy.
Jethro: They got swimming pools and movie stars!


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Trick or Treat (#1.6)" (1962)
John Brewster: You don't celebrate Halloween here in the hills?
Cousin Pearl Bodine: I never heard of it. What's it like?
John Brewster: Well it's an occasion where everyone gets dressed up in their most beautiful clothes.
Cousin Pearl Bodine: These old things? They're just something I threw together myself.
John Brewster: Well they look like they come from Saks.
Cousin Pearl Bodine: Well they didn't. I made these with store bought yard goods.