Jane Hathaway
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Quotes for
Jane Hathaway (Character)
from "The Beverly Hillbillies" (1962)

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"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Boarder Stays (#3.12)" (1964)
Mr. Pinckney: Might I have a spot of tea?
Jane Hathaway: Yes of course, what would you like with it?
Mr. Pinckney: Ticket to London.

Jane Hathaway: You were only with the Clampetts a day and a night.
Milburn Drysdale: Yes, they gave you a lovely room and fed you.
Mr. Pinckney: Fed Me? Sir, have you ever partaken of the curious substances which Granny so quaintly calls "vittles"?

Milburn Drysdale: I would like to say that I know Arthur Pinckney to be a man of good character, and I will vouch for him.
Jane Hathaway: I too know Arthur Pinckney, and he is a man of unimpeachable integrity, impeccable demeanor, and irrefutable probity. Thank you.
Jed Clampett: Well that's one fer and one against.

Milburn Drysdale: How are things at the Clampetts?
Mr. Pinckney: Mr. Drysdale, sir, in my 40 years as a butler, I have served in some unique households and run athwart some bizarre families, but the Clampetts, sir, if I may use one of their own curious expressions, take the rag off the bush.
Milburn Drysdale: Well now, I warned you it wouldn't exactly be smooth sailing.
Mr. Pinckney: To be precise, sir, you said you could only promise me blood, sweat, tears, and money.
Milburn Drysdale: Right.
Mr. Pinckney: I've had the blood, sweat, and tears, now I should like the money.
Jane Hathaway: You're leaving the Clampetts?
Mr. Pinckney: I'm leaving the country.
Milburn Drysdale: But you've got to stay with them, you're our cultural beachhead!
Mr. Pinckney: Consider me another Dunkirk.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Old Folks Home (#4.24)" (1966)
Jane Hathaway: Well in that case, there's only one solution. We'll have to get someone to do the work for Granny.
Milburn Drysdale: Now you're talking. Grab a scrub bucket and get over there.
Jane Hathaway: Chief!
Milburn Drysdale: Well you know Granny doesn't like strangers around.
Jane Hathaway: Chief, I am a highly skilled executive secretary, I'm not paid to do housework.
Milburn Drysdale: Yes, you're right. OK, while you're there, you'll be on half salary.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Granny Versus the Weather Bureau (#2.25)" (1964)
Jane Hathaway: What precipitated the altercation?
Jed Clampett: Well uh, huh?
[Jed looks confused]
Milburn Drysdale: What are they fighting about?
Jed Clampett: Oh, well, they can't seem to agree about the weather.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Clampetts Get Culture (#2.13)" (1963)
Jethro Bodine: Uncle Jed, Granny, Looky here what I got. I just captured me the first prisoner.
Jed Clampett: Turn her loose!
Jethro Bodine: But she's one of the bank people! Maybe she can get our money for us.
Granny: Can you?
Janet Trego: No I can't!
Jane Hathaway: I can Jethro, capture me!


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Courtship of Elly (#4.8)" (1965)
Jane Hathaway: Jethro, Jethro, what's going on?
Jethro Bodine: I'm courtin' you. I cain't eat or sleep without you.
Jane Hathaway: Oh no, no.
Jethro Bodine: That's the truth. Granny won't feed me or make my bed.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Jed Foils a Home Wrecker (#2.35)" (1964)
Jane Hathaway: [admiring Jethro] That boy is like a magnificent lighthouse - tall, strong, and sturdy. If only his beacon weren't so dim.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Granny's Romance (#3.19)" (1965)
Jane Hathaway: [wearing a blonde wig] Jethro, I have found that the intellectual approach has a limited appeal, romantically speaking, so I have decided to become a glamor girl. What do you think of the idea?
Jethro Bodine: Well I think it's swell.
Jane Hathaway: Thank you.
Jethro Bodine: When you gonna start?


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Ghost of Clampett Castle (#7.5)" (1968)
Jane Hathaway: Chief, what exploded?
Milburn Drysdale: Granny!
Jane Hathaway: She has a gun?
Milburn Drysdale: She has a cannon!


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Getting Settled (#1.2)" (1962)
Jane Hathaway: [inquiring after Jethro's Oxford credentials] Is Jethro an Eaton man?
Jed Clampett: Knowin' Jethro, I think he went ta eatin' as soon as he was born.