Elly May Clampett
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Quotes for
Elly May Clampett (Character)
from "The Beverly Hillbillies" (1962)

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The Beverly Hillbillies (1993)
Elly May: I reckon why they got two sets of steps.
Jethro: That's easy! One's for going up, and the other's for going down!
Elly May: Oh.

[on the subject of California]
Elly May: I hear they got smog.
Daisy Mae 'Granny' Moses: What's a smog?
[pause]
Jethro: I reckon it's a small hog.

Elly May: I just wanna be who I am. And I ain't goin' to no France!

Elly May: Look! They's a-playin' 'Kick the Can'!

Derek: Is this some kind of joke?
[talking about all the people coming to watch him and Elly May wrestle]
Elly May: Well, come on, baby. Let's wrestle.
[grins at Derek]

Elly May: Well, come on, baby... let's wrestle.
[to Derek]

Elly May: This here's what I call the Clampett Clamp.
[During the match,to Derek while she choking him with a headlock]
Derek: [Grunts] That's not legal.
Elly May: [Confused look] Really? Well, try this one.
[Pushes Derek to the mat face flat]


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Old Folks Home (#4.24)" (1966)
Elly May Clampett: Quick Pa, let's skedaddle! Granny's started spring house cleanin' and she's done caught Jethro.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Jed the Heartbreaker (#3.6)" (1964)
Elly May Clampett: Pa come quick! Granny's sinkin' fast!
Jed Clampett: What?
Elly May Clampett: She's took to bed with double pneumonie and pond water poisonin'!
Jed Clampett: Why she never even got good and wet afore I got her outa that pond.
Elly May Clampett: Well come on Pa, she's about to breathe her last!
Jed Clampett: Granny's just tryin' to get back at me fer spoilin' her scrap with Mrs. Drysdale.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Clampetts Get Psychoanalyzed (#1.33)" (1963)
Elly May Clampett: He said I got a way with critters.
Granny: You better git away with this one before your Pa sees it.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Clampetts Strike Oil (#1.1)" (1962)
Geologist: Mr. Clampett, you're a very rich man!
Jed Clampett: How big a rock did you bean him with?
Elly May Clampett: No bigger than a hedge apple.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Boarder (#3.11)" (1964)
Jed Clampett: [Elly May calls her chimp Cousin Bessie] You hadn't ought to call that critter cousin, Elly.
Elly May Clampett: But why not?
Jed Clampett: Well you see, Jethro's your cousin and that puts Jethro and her in the same... well, never mind. I reckon i just gotta get used to bein' a monkey's uncle.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Critter Doctor (#2.23)" (1964)
Dr. Martin: [the critter doctor gives Elly May a baby bobcat] I hope your Granny won't mind, he's still a little wild.
Elly May Clampett: Oh I can tame him.
Dr. Martin: I'm sure you can, but what about Granny?
Elly May Clampett: Well ain't nobody can tame her.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Boarder Stays (#3.12)" (1964)
Elly May Clampett: I hope that soup we throwed out the winda don't kill the flowers.
Daisy Moses: How can anybody eat soup made outa turtles?
Jed Clampett: Pitiful
Jethro Bodine: And that thing he called Welsh Rabbit, didn't have no rabbit in it at all, just a lot of doggone melted cheese!
Jed Clampett: Wasn't too bad after Granny dumped the grits in it.
Daisy Moses: What was it he called that big crawdad?
Elly May Clampett: That was Lobster Thermidor.
Jethro Bodine: That didn't taste bad neither once we poured hot gopher gravy over it.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: Back to Californy (#1.16)" (1963)
Daisy Moses: Elly, you get rid of the ants. I'll start the cookin'.
Elly May Clampett: What ants?
Daisy Moses: Start with your aunt Pearl.


"The Beverly Hillbillies: The Race for Queen (#2.19)" (1964)
Granny: Elly May, get these varmints outa here!
Elly May Clampett: But Granny, they ain't varmints, they is my critters!
Granny: I don't care if they is your cousins, git em outa my kitchen before I make stew outa them!