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[Talking about Laura "getting married" to Jed Clampett
] Woodrow Tyler
: You're not going to sleep with him, are you? Laura Jackson
: That's not your problem. Woodrow Tyler
: Good! Laura, I've got my hand on your butt. (Laura disconnects the line) Hold on! I've got someone on call waiting. (disconnects the line) Hello! Hello! (gets back on previous line) It was nobody! Anyways, I've got my hand on your butt and I'm squeezing. Mr. Drysdale
: Tyler, get your hand off my butt.
: What a stupid idiot. Jed Clampett
: Did you say something, ma'am? Laura Jackson
: What a stupendous intellect. Jethro
: That's cause I "grad-ge-ated" the sixth grade, ma'am. Only took three years.
: [in mock French accent
] Some women will search for many years before they find 'a-PEE-ness. Jed Clampett
] *what?* Laura Jackson
: 'a-PEE-ness. Jed Clampett
: Oh... happiness!