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: I can be a "bad" girl, Sam.
: We had sex, Mommy! You know? The really DIRTY kind!
: You know what, Sam? You're just always going to be that guy at the restaurant who, when he gets what he ordered, always wishes he got what the guy next to him did.
: I'd like a grandchild. So, shoot me. Kate Mosley
: All right, Ma. Well, you'll be happy to know I'm looking into getting some eggs frozen. Rita Mosely
: Wonderful. I can tell everyone I'm having a grandsicle.
: ...This is, uh, this is my Nick. Sam Mayfair
: [to Kate and Nick alternately
] Wow, your Nick. And you're Nick. It's your Nick. I may've had a little too much to drink. I'm her Sam.
: I like men, men like me... but then somewhere in the last year or so, I just... I've just gotten so screwed up.
: Gulden's Mustard: Number 2 - and that ain't bad!
: I don't want to date you, I don't want to marry you, I don't want to have kids with you, I just wanna break up with you.
: I want a billboard in the middle of Time Square. Okay? I want... I want a commercial in the middle of the Academy Awards, and I want a 10-page layout in Vanity Fair - and that's... that's what I want. Darcy
: Yeah, me, too. God, we're shallow!
: I'm looking for "Susan's Single Friend Kate." They told me they thought she came out here. Kate Mosley
: Yeah, that's me. Can I help you? Nick
: Don't you think that's, uh, kind of strange that she only has one friend?
: Hey, get your hands off my stems.
: I don't know, Sam. It just feels wrong, you know? It just feels really, really wrong. Sam Mayfair
: Well, good, 'cause that's the feeling... that you feel... right before... it feels - incredible!
: [arriving early and unexpectedly at Kate's office
] It's good to see you again...
[Kate plants a big, sudden kiss on Nick
: [in a low voice
] I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't know we were on the clock yet. Kate Mosley
: [also in a low voice
] Okay, just shush, grab my ass, kiss my neck, and pull me into the office, okay? Nick
: Uh, y... yeah... yeah... uh, yes, sir!
: You went to college, right? Nick
: Yeah, several.
: Well, I mean, I think I should at least know how you take your coffee. Nick
: Well, I'm confused. You don't know? I mean, didn't you, uh, make me up?
: [alone at the table with Kate, gazing upon her
] I suddenly realized I haven't told you how beautiful you look tonight. Kate Mosley
: Oh, Nick, come on. Don't waste that stuff. Nobody's here. They can't hear you.
: So how do you think it's going? Kate Mosley
: Um, fine, I guess. But, you know, if one of us doesn't start this fight pretty soon, um, everyone's gonna MISS it.
: [on the phone with her mother, exasperated
] A diaphragm, a sponge and a rubber. Good-bye.