Woodrow F. Call
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Quotes for
Woodrow F. Call (Character)
from "Lonesome Dove" (1989)

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"Lonesome Dove: Return (#1.4)" (1989)
[Gus refuses to have his leg amputated knowing he will die if he doesn't]
Woodrow Call: What do you want legs for anyway? You don't like to do nothing but sit on the porch and drink whiskey!
Gus McCrae: I like to kick a pig every once in a while. How would I do that?

Woodrow Call: You're one-of-a-kind, Augustus. We're gonna miss you.
Gus McCrae: Even you?
Woodrow Call: Even me. What you want me to do your half the cattle?
Gus McCrae: I want you to buy 'em from me.
Woodrow Call: Buy 'em from you? Hellfire, you ain't put in a day's worth of work in on 'em on this whole trip. You ought to just give 'em to me if you don't want 'em.
Gus McCrae: You just said they were half-mine, are they half-mine or not?
Woodrow Call: Yes, they're half-yours.
Gus McCrae: Alright then. I want you to buy 'em from me, and give the money to... Lorena.
Woodrow Call: Lorena. Well is there anything else? Are you sure you don't want me to haul you down to the South Pole and bury you down there? All you gotta do is ask.
Gus McCrae: [chuckling] Yeah, there is something else. I want you to tell Newt that you're his daddy. I've already told him myself, but I want him to hear it from you.
Woodrow Call: You ought not told him that.
Gus McCrae: What are you gonna do, shoot me for it? It's time you stopped mistreating that boy.
Woodrow Call: I don't know that I ever have mistreated him.
Gus McCrae: Well not giving him your name is mistreating him. Now he's the only son you'll ever have.
Woodrow Call: I don't know that he is my son.
Gus McCrae: I know it, and you know it. Darn, you're stubborn! No wonder women don't like you. Reach in that drawer there, find me something to write on. I want to leave a couple notes to Lori and Clara.
Woodrow Call: [hands Gus paper and pen] You want me to do anything about those Indians that shot you?
Gus McCrae: We got no call to be vengeful, they didn't invite us here.
Gus McCrae: [writing] It's a dangerous business, writing to two women at the same time. I'm so light-headed I can hardly remember which one's which. Now this one, this one's for Lori. And this one here, my God...
Woodrow Call: You want me to help you with that?
Gus McCrae: What would you know to say to a woman?
[falls asleep writing]
Woodrow Call: [places hand on Gus's chest] Augustus.
Gus McCrae: [Looks up] My God, Woodrow. It has been quite a party, ain't it?
Woodrow Call: Yes, sir.

Blue Duck: [Call is looking at Blue Duck in jail] I hear you brought your stinkin' old friend to my hangin'.
Woodrow Call: He'd enjoy seein' it alright.
Blue Duck: I should've caught him & cooked him when I had the chance.
Woodrow Call: I'd have killed you for it, if you had.
Blue Duck: [laughing] I raped women, stole children, and burned houses, & shot men, run off horses, & killed cattle, and robbed who I pleased, all over your territory, and you never even got a good look at me until today! I don't reckon you would've killed me.
Woodrow Call: It don't matter much now though, does it?
Blue Duck: You Rangers! I 'spect I'll kill a passel of you yet.
Woodrow Call: I doubt it; not unless you can sprout wings 'n' fly through the hangman's noose
Blue Duck: I can fly - an old woman taught me - and if you car to wait, you'll see me
Woodrow Call: I'll wait. I give you my word on it

Clara Allen: Did you give that boy your name before you left Montana?
Woodrow Call: I gave him my horse.
Clara Allen: You gave him your horse, but not your name?
Woodrow Call: I put a lot more value on the animal than I do my name.

Woodrow Call: [grave-side] Well there ya are, Augustus. I guess this'll teach me to be more careful about what I promise in the future.

[last lines]
Reporter: They say you're a man of vision. Is that true?
Woodrow Call: [flashing back to all that has gone on]
Reporter: Captain Call?
Woodrow Call: A man's vision, you say. Yeah. Hell of a vision...

"Lonesome Dove: The Plains (#1.3)" (1989)
Woodrow Call: [looks over at Newt after Clara gives Newt the horse] Women!

Woodrow Call: Didn't you hear me? I said get your boots off
Dan Suggs: Damned if we will. I said we were horse traders
Gus McCrae: We're more persuaded by the bodies we just buried. Get your boots off
Dan Suggs: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about
Gus McCrae: You're a black liar sir
Dan Suggs: Just ask Jake if we didn't buy them horses
Woodrow Call: 'dyou buy them three cowboys you shot? 'dyou buy them two farmers you burned? Pea, you & Newt get your ropes; tie 'em up
Jake Spoon: Oh you don't need to tie me up, Newt. Hell I ain't killed anybody. I just fell in with these boys to get me through the territory; hell I was gonna leave 'em first chance I got
Gus McCrae: I wish you'd taken that chance a little earlier, Jake; a man who'll go along with five killin's, takin' his leave a little slow. Go ahead Newt
Jake Spoon: Pea, you know me; I ain't no killer. Deets you know it too. Gus I ain't no criminal; now you know that. It was Dan that killed them two sod-busters. Hell I didn't kill nobody
Dan Suggs: You shut your damn mouth, Spoon
Woodrow Call: Put 'em on their horses
Roy Suggs: Where's he goin'?
Gus McCrae: Pick out a tree to hang you from, son
Jake Spoon: Gus, I...
Gus McCrae: You know how it works, Jake: you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I'm sorry you crossed the line
Jake Spoon: I didn't see no line, Gus. I was just tryin' to get through the territory, without gettin' scalped; that's all
Gus McCrae: I'm sure that's true, Jake

Woodrow Call: You're that sheriff from Fort Smith Arkansas, come lookin' for Jake Spoon
July Johnson: That was a long time ago. I don't reckon I'm lookin' for him no more
Woodrow Call: That's good, 'cause he fell in with a bad bunch and we hung 'im

[last lines]
Woodrow Call: I guess it's our fault, we shoulda shot sooner.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: I don't want to start thinking, Woodrow, about all the things we that shoulda done for this good man.

"Comanche Moon: Episode #1.1" (2008)
Woodrow F. Call: [Gus staggers out of a whorehouse drunk] I wonder if the Comanche realize how easy it would be to kill you at a time like this.
Gus McCrae: There ain't no Comanche left, Woodrow. That's the prime reason I've been getting drunk lately. The fact that you've refrained only underlines your lack of sensitivity.

Gus McCrae: I'd like to high tail it back to Austin and see Clara.
Woodrow F. Call: I'd like to sneak into Buffalo Hump's camp and kill him. That's my thinkin'. We'll have to fihgt 'em sooner or later anyway.
Gus McCrae: You know, that's the difference between you and me, Woodrow. I mostly think about love, you mostly think about war.

Gus McCrae: What is a genius anyway?
Woodrow F. Call: Well, I guess the captain's a genius. You oughta ask him.
Bill Coleman: A genius is someone with six toes on one foot. Well, that's what I heard anyway, I mean.

"Lonesome Dove: On the Trail (#1.2)" (1989)
Woodrow F. Call: The best thing you can do for death is ride off from it.

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: [riding into San Antonio seeing hundreds of people] There's durn people makin' towns everywhere. And it's our fault, too.
Woodrow F. Call: Our fault?
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well, we chased out the Indians, didn't we? Hung all the good bandits. Did it ever occur to you that everything we done was a mistake? You and me done our work too well, Woodrow. Hell, we killed off all the people that made this country interesting to begin with, didn't we?

Woodrow F. Call: You're lucky they didn't through you in jail.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well, it ain't much of a crime whackin' a surely bartender. I guess they may have forgot us though.
Woodrow F. Call: Why wouldn't they forget us? We haven't been around here in years.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No, the reason is we never got killed, that's why they forgot us.
Woodrow F. Call: That is a dang foolish thing to say.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No it ain't. If a thousand Comanches had cornered us in a gutter somewhere and wiped us out, like the Soo just done Custer, why they'd remember us sure. Hell, they'd be writin' songs about us for a hindered years.
Woodrow F. Call: Now there weren't ever a thousand Comanches in the whole world, and you know it.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well that ain't the point, Woodrow!

"Lonesome Dove: Leaving (#1.1)" (1989)
Gus McCrae: Only way to get better food around here is by shooting Bolivar. And another thing, Bol, I want you to quit whackin' that dinner bell for supper. You can hit it at noon if you want to, but lay off doin' it in the evenin'. See, a man with any sense at all can tell when it's sundown, without you whackin' that bell.
Bolivar: General Robert E. Lee freed the slaves. I can whack it if I want to.
Gus McCrae: It was Abe Lincoln that freed the slaves, Bol, not General Lee.
Pea Eye Parker: He didn't free Mexicans, anyway, Bol. It was Americans he freed.
Gus McCrae: You're in over your head, Pea. It was a bunch of Africans Abe Lincoln freed. No more American than Call here.
Woodrow Call: I'm American! By God!
Gus McCrae: You was born in Scotland, as I recall. You was still draggin' on the tit when they brought you over here.
Woodrow Call: I reckon I'm as American as anyone from Tennessee.

Woodrow Call: Gus.
Gus McCrae: What?
Woodrow Call: Why not go up to Montana? It's a cattleman's paradise to hear Jake tell it.
Gus McCrae: Sounds like a damn wilderness if you ask me. And we're a shade old to start fightin' Indians all over again, don't you think?
Woodrow Call: I mean it, Gus. Why not, go north with a herd?
Gus McCrae: I'll tell you what. You ride on up there, clear out the Iindians, build a little cabin, get a nice fire goin' in the fireplace and me and Jake will gather a herd and then we'll come on up.
Woodrow Call: I'd like to see the herd that you and Jake could gather. Herd o' whores, maybe.
Gus McCrae: Well you ain't no more a cattleman than I am, Call, and y'know it, too.
Woodrow Call: I wanna do it, Gus. I wanna see that country, before the bankers and lawyers all git it.

"Return to Lonesome Dove: The Legacy (#1.3)" (1993)
Captain Woodrow F. Call: Dunnigan, only one man warned me not to string wire and now I'm warning you. You try strong arming me, I'll send you straight to hell.

"Dead Man's Walk: Episode #1.3" (1996)
Woodrow F. Call: [after seeing Gomez kill two men in the party] I see'd 'em, Captain!
Captain Salazar: You're a lucky man, Corporal. If you saw Gomez, you're the only white man to do so and live.

"Streets of Laredo: Episode #1.3" (1999)
Capt. Woodrow F. Call: [Speaking of Joey Garza] Ah, if I have to live one-legged, I will. I wanna live long enough to kill that boy.
Lorena Parker: I'm very disappointed in you Captain. You can't think of any reason for livin' than to kill a boy? If killin's the only reason you can think of livin', you might as well die!