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Quotes for
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae (Character)
from "Lonesome Dove" (1989)

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"Lonesome Dove: Return (#1.4)" (1989)
[Gus refuses to have his leg amputated knowing he will die if he doesn't]
Woodrow Call: What do you want legs for anyway? You don't like to do nothing but sit on the porch and drink whiskey!
Gus McCrae: I like to kick a pig every once in a while. How would I do that?

Woodrow Call: You're one-of-a-kind, Augustus. We're gonna miss you.
Gus McCrae: Even you?
Woodrow Call: Even me. What you want me to do your half the cattle?
Gus McCrae: I want you to buy 'em from me.
Woodrow Call: Buy 'em from you? Hellfire, you ain't put in a day's worth of work in on 'em on this whole trip. You ought to just give 'em to me if you don't want 'em.
Gus McCrae: You just said they were half-mine, are they half-mine or not?
Woodrow Call: Yes, they're half-yours.
Gus McCrae: Alright then. I want you to buy 'em from me, and give the money to... Lorena.
Woodrow Call: Lorena. Well is there anything else? Are you sure you don't want me to haul you down to the South Pole and bury you down there? All you gotta do is ask.
Gus McCrae: [chuckling] Yeah, there is something else. I want you to tell Newt that you're his daddy. I've already told him myself, but I want him to hear it from you.
Woodrow Call: You ought not told him that.
Gus McCrae: What are you gonna do, shoot me for it? It's time you stopped mistreating that boy.
Woodrow Call: I don't know that I ever have mistreated him.
Gus McCrae: Well not giving him your name is mistreating him. Now he's the only son you'll ever have.
Woodrow Call: I don't know that he is my son.
Gus McCrae: I know it, and you know it. Darn, you're stubborn! No wonder women don't like you. Reach in that drawer there, find me something to write on. I want to leave a couple notes to Lori and Clara.
Woodrow Call: [hands Gus paper and pen] You want me to do anything about those Indians that shot you?
Gus McCrae: We got no call to be vengeful, they didn't invite us here.
Gus McCrae: [writing] It's a dangerous business, writing to two women at the same time. I'm so light-headed I can hardly remember which one's which. Now this one, this one's for Lori. And this one here, my God...
Woodrow Call: You want me to help you with that?
Gus McCrae: What would you know to say to a woman?
[falls asleep writing]
Woodrow Call: [places hand on Gus's chest] Augustus.
Gus McCrae: [Looks up] My God, Woodrow. It has been quite a party, ain't it?
Woodrow Call: Yes, sir.

Pea Eye Parker: [Indians have attacked Gus & Pea, on a scouting expedition, wounding both] They're gonna try sneakin' up on us in the dark, ain't they Gus?
Gus McCrae: be takin' a chance if they do, couple of sharp-shooters like us
Pea Eye Parker: I ain't no sharp-shooter. I usually miss if I ain't got time to take careful aim
Gus McCrae: 'y god but it's depressin' to talk to you, Pea

Gus McCrae: [Looking at a herd of buffalo, such as hadn't been seen in Texas for many years] Pretty, ain't they?
Pea Eye Parker: I reckon
Gus McCrae: Let's chase 'em. You want to?
Pea Eye Parker: Shoot us one for our supper?
Gus McCrae: No, I mean chase 'em just for the sport of it
Pea Eye Parker: to run them off?
Gus McCrae: You don't get the point, do you Pea? I mean chase 'em, because before long, there won't be any buffalo left TO chase
Pea Eye Parker: Them bulls 'll hook you. D'you remember ol' man Barlow? A buffalo hooked him bad
Gus McCrae: Old man Barlow was a slow thinker, kinda like somebody else I could name
Pea Eye Parker: Well he was a slow walker, too, after that buffalo got through with him. Wonder what ever happened to him...
Gus McCrae: He married a fat widow over on the Blanco River, and had a passel of kids. Now you might as well have done the same thing yourself, since you don't want to chase buffalo
Pea Eye Parker: Well I don't believe I'd want to chase buffalo even if I was married
Gus McCrae: Forget I even mentioned it, Pea
Pea Eye Parker: Well, I like bein' a bachelor, Gus
Gus McCrae: That's good, Pea; I'm sure it's all part of god's plan that You ARE one
[whistles & spurs his horse]

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Woodrow ain't much of a mentioner when he can avoid it.
Newt Dobbs: Well Gus, is it that he don't like me?
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No. No. It's just, he don't want to admit he's human, like the rest of us, that's all.

Pea Eye Parker: What Indians is it we're fightin' anyway?
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: They didn't introduce themselves.

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Hope you didn't through my leg away. I may wanna make a walkin' stick out of the bone.

Pea Eye Parker: [after Gus tells him he has to sneak past the Indians and go for help] What if they catch me?
Gus McCrae: Well, they'll probably start by cuttin' your cojones off.


"Lonesome Dove: The Plains (#1.3)" (1989)
Pea Eye Parker: What's it read, Gus?
Gus McCrae: It says, "Josh Deets. Served with me 30 years. Fought In 21 engagements with the Comanche and the Kiowa. Cheerful in all weathers. Never shirked a task. Splendid behavior." That's what it says.
Pea Eye Parker: My lord. Old Deets is gone. My lord.

Gus McCrae: You know how it works Jake, you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I'm sorry you crossed the line.

Gus McCrae: [Call is about to hang Jake] You know how it goes, Jake. You ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. Sorry you crossed the line.
Jake Spoon: I never seen no line, Gus. I was just trying to get through the territory without gettin' scalped.
Gus McCrae: I don't doubt that's true, Jake.

Gus McCrae: [after Woodrow almost beats a man to death for whipping Newt and hitting some of his men] It don't do to anger Woodrow F. Call, does it?

Woodrow Call: Didn't you hear me? I said get your boots off
Dan Suggs: Damned if we will. I said we were horse traders
Gus McCrae: We're more persuaded by the bodies we just buried. Get your boots off
Dan Suggs: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about
Gus McCrae: You're a black liar sir
Dan Suggs: Just ask Jake if we didn't buy them horses
Woodrow Call: 'dyou buy them three cowboys you shot? 'dyou buy them two farmers you burned? Pea, you & Newt get your ropes; tie 'em up
Jake Spoon: Oh you don't need to tie me up, Newt. Hell I ain't killed anybody. I just fell in with these boys to get me through the territory; hell I was gonna leave 'em first chance I got
Gus McCrae: I wish you'd taken that chance a little earlier, Jake; a man who'll go along with five killin's, takin' his leave a little slow. Go ahead Newt
Jake Spoon: Pea, you know me; I ain't no killer. Deets you know it too. Gus I ain't no criminal; now you know that. It was Dan that killed them two sod-busters. Hell I didn't kill nobody
Dan Suggs: You shut your damn mouth, Spoon
Woodrow Call: Put 'em on their horses
Roy Suggs: Where's he goin'?
Gus McCrae: Pick out a tree to hang you from, son
Jake Spoon: Gus, I...
Gus McCrae: You know how it works, Jake: you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I'm sorry you crossed the line
Jake Spoon: I didn't see no line, Gus. I was just tryin' to get through the territory, without gettin' scalped; that's all
Gus McCrae: I'm sure that's true, Jake

Newt Dobbs: Jake was no killer.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Jake liked to joke, he didn't like to work. I got exactly those same feelings myself.

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: I told you what happened. It's an accident she's even on this trip.
Clara Allen: Oh, I never noticed you having accidents with ugly girls!

[last lines]
Woodrow Call: I guess it's our fault, we shoulda shot sooner.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: I don't want to start thinking, Woodrow, about all the things we that shoulda done for this good man.


"Comanche Moon: Episode #1.1" (2008)
Woodrow F. Call: [Gus staggers out of a whorehouse drunk] I wonder if the Comanche realize how easy it would be to kill you at a time like this.
Gus McCrae: There ain't no Comanche left, Woodrow. That's the prime reason I've been getting drunk lately. The fact that you've refrained only underlines your lack of sensitivity.

Inez Scull: Slouchy as you are, I might like you to come to tea at my house.
Gus McCrae: What about Captain Call?
Inez Scull: Too stiff.

Inish Scull: Those torturing fiends down there are the best most capable opponents I've ever faced. I mean to kill them to the last man. But when it's done, hmm, my God I'll miss them.
Gus McCrae: You'll miss 'em, sir?
Inish Scull: I'm a fighting man, Mr. McCrae. And fighting men need other fighting men to fight.

Gus McCrae: I'd like to high tail it back to Austin and see Clara.
Woodrow F. Call: I'd like to sneak into Buffalo Hump's camp and kill him. That's my thinkin'. We'll have to fihgt 'em sooner or later anyway.
Gus McCrae: You know, that's the difference between you and me, Woodrow. I mostly think about love, you mostly think about war.

Gus McCrae: If only we were in Brazil, we could do with James what we did with my cousin Willy, who succumbed to the bite of the fer-de-lance, the deadliest snake in the world. Cousin Willie was a biologist...
Gus McCrae: [Speaking low as he anticipates that they're in for another long-winded story from the captain] Here we go! Captain's about to have a word fit.
Inish Scull: ...and it just so happens that they got what's called an undertaker beetle down there in Brazil, and Willy wanted to go back into the food chain the fastest way possible, so we laid him out naked, and immediately the beetle went to work. The very next day Cousin Willy was part of the food chain again - just as wished.

Gus McCrae: What is a genius anyway?
Woodrow F. Call: Well, I guess the captain's a genius. You oughta ask him.
Bill Coleman: A genius is someone with six toes on one foot. Well, that's what I heard anyway, I mean.

Gus McCrae: There is no remedy for mortality.


"Lonesome Dove: Leaving (#1.1)" (1989)
Gus McCrae: Only way to get better food around here is by shooting Bolivar. And another thing, Bol, I want you to quit whackin' that dinner bell for supper. You can hit it at noon if you want to, but lay off doin' it in the evenin'. See, a man with any sense at all can tell when it's sundown, without you whackin' that bell.
Bolivar: General Robert E. Lee freed the slaves. I can whack it if I want to.
Gus McCrae: It was Abe Lincoln that freed the slaves, Bol, not General Lee.
Pea Eye Parker: He didn't free Mexicans, anyway, Bol. It was Americans he freed.
Gus McCrae: You're in over your head, Pea. It was a bunch of Africans Abe Lincoln freed. No more American than Call here.
Woodrow Call: I'm American! By God!
Gus McCrae: You was born in Scotland, as I recall. You was still draggin' on the tit when they brought you over here.
Woodrow Call: I reckon I'm as American as anyone from Tennessee.

Woodrow Call: Gus.
Gus McCrae: What?
Woodrow Call: Why not go up to Montana? It's a cattleman's paradise to hear Jake tell it.
Gus McCrae: Sounds like a damn wilderness if you ask me. And we're a shade old to start fightin' Indians all over again, don't you think?
Woodrow Call: I mean it, Gus. Why not, go north with a herd?
Gus McCrae: I'll tell you what. You ride on up there, clear out the Iindians, build a little cabin, get a nice fire goin' in the fireplace and me and Jake will gather a herd and then we'll come on up.
Woodrow Call: I'd like to see the herd that you and Jake could gather. Herd o' whores, maybe.
Gus McCrae: Well you ain't no more a cattleman than I am, Call, and y'know it, too.
Woodrow Call: I wanna do it, Gus. I wanna see that country, before the bankers and lawyers all git it.

Jake Spoon: [Jake is back after being away ten years] Hey, didn't Deets have that same cap before I left?
Gus McCrae: Well, you know Deets, he ain't one to quit on a garment just 'cause it's gotta a little age. We c'ain't always be fine dressers like you, Jake.

Gus McCrae: A little early in the day to be wigglin' your bean, ain't it Jake?

[first lines]
Gus McCrae: [to fighting pigs] Go down to the river to eat that snake. Now go on, get outa here. Go on! Go on, git!


"Lonesome Dove: On the Trail (#1.2)" (1989)
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: [riding into San Antonio seeing hundreds of people] There's durn people makin' towns everywhere. And it's our fault, too.
Woodrow F. Call: Our fault?
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well, we chased out the Indians, didn't we? Hung all the good bandits. Did it ever occur to you that everything we done was a mistake? You and me done our work too well, Woodrow. Hell, we killed off all the people that made this country interesting to begin with, didn't we?

Woodrow F. Call: You're lucky they didn't through you in jail.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well, it ain't much of a crime whackin' a surely bartender. I guess they may have forgot us though.
Woodrow F. Call: Why wouldn't they forget us? We haven't been around here in years.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No, the reason is we never got killed, that's why they forgot us.
Woodrow F. Call: That is a dang foolish thing to say.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No it ain't. If a thousand Comanches had cornered us in a gutter somewhere and wiped us out, like the Soo just done Custer, why they'd remember us sure. Hell, they'd be writin' songs about us for a hindered years.
Woodrow F. Call: Now there weren't ever a thousand Comanches in the whole world, and you know it.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well that ain't the point, Woodrow!

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: If you want only one thing too much, it's likely to turn out a disappointment. Now the only healthy way to live, as I see it, is to learn to like all the little every day things.

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: You've got a long time to live. And you don't want this thing dragging you back.


"Dead Man's Walk: Episode #1.3" (1996)
Augustus McCrae: [Asking about the lepers] What are they, Bill? Dead or alive?
Long Bill Coleman: Well, the one I seen looked somewhere in-between.


"Comanche Moon: Episode #1.3" (2008)
Gus McCrae: Maybe I oughta be fully sober if I'm gonna meet with the governor.