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Quotes for
Lori Craven (Character)
from Soapdish (1991)

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Soapdish (1991)
Lori Craven: Celeste, I want to act!
Celeste Talbert: Don't say that, "I want to act", ever, please!

Lori Craven: Hi. Uh, I'm Lori Craven and... I'm an actress.
Betsy Faye Sharon: An actress! Really! How nice for you! I'm Betsy Faye Sharon and I'm a bitch. Now get out of here.

Celeste Talbert: I never said I was the best mother in the world. Give me a little credit, will you, credit for being someone who tried... to love you the only way she knew how?
Lori Craven: I know that speech.
Celeste Talbert: You do?
Lori Craven: Yeah, it was the, uh, the Thanksgiving show, when Maggie meets Bolt's blind nephew.

Lori Craven: Get out!
Celeste Talbert: [crying] Please try to understand what I am going through.
Lori Craven: I don't give a *shit* what you're going through!
Celeste Talbert: There's no need to use that kind of language.
Lori Craven: [shouts] Get out! Now!

Jeffrey Anderson: Of course I can kiss her!
Lori Craven: This is ridiculous! I can kiss who I want!
Celeste Talbert: No! You can't! You can't kiss her!
Jeffrey Anderson: Why because she's *your* neice?
Celeste Talbert: [shouts] No, you nitwit! Because she's my daughter! And your daughter.
Lori Craven: What?
Jeffrey Anderson: What are you talking about?
Celeste Talbert: We're her parents! *You* and I!
Celeste Talbert: We're her Mommy and her Daddy.

David Barnes: [about Montana] She's got a lot of spirit.
Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch.

Lori Craven: [bursting into David's office] We need to talk. Look, I don't care WHAT Tawny Miller says. This hat makes me look like the GOD damned Tweety Bird.
[to Montana]
Lori Craven: Do you mind?
Montana Moorehead: You, you're asking me to leave?
Lori Craven: That's right. I'm asking you to leave.
Montana Moorehead: David...
David Barnes: Miss Moorehead, may Miss Craven and I have a moment alone, please?
Montana Moorehead: No problem. I'm a professional. I do things professionally.
[storms out]
Montana Moorehead: [from off stage] I hate you! I hate you, you pig!
David Barnes: She's got a lot of spirit.
Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch!

Lori Craven: You people have the morals of guinney pigs!

[scene switch back and forth of Celeste, Lori, and Jeffrey in Edwards' office]
Celeste Talbert: I never worked in an atmosphere like this before.
Jeffrey Anderson: This whole pregnancy thing is a scam! I resent being treated like a leper!
Lori Craven: Having to work with these two is a personal nightmare for me. I'm on the verge of a breakdown!
Celeste Talbert: I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown!
Jeffrey Anderson: I could conceivably have a breakdown.
Lori Craven: I mean, can you imagine what it's like having to face them on the set every single day?
Celeste Talbert: It just seems to get harder and harder, even though I devoted my entire life to this show.
Jeffrey Anderson: [walks back and forth lost for words] Uh...
Lori Craven: Mr. Edwards, it's them or me, that is the bottom line here. They go or I go!
Edwards: This is the toughest decision I ever have to make, but I get paid 1.2 million dollars to make these kind of command decisions. So here it is...
[eats a cracker]

[Jeffrey is about to prepare the brain transplant]
Lori Craven: MOTHER!
[Celeste sits up]
Lori Craven: No, I can't let you do this!
Burton White: She spoke?
Jeffrey Anderson: She spoke!
Montana Moorehead: Sudden speech, the last stages of brain fever! She can blow up any moment!
Lori Craven: I can always speak! Mother...
Montana Moorehead: She's MY mother!
Celeste Talbert: MONTANA, SHUT UP!