Tom Bartlett
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Tom Bartlett (Character)
from Simply Irresistible (1999)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Simply Irresistible (1999)
Amanda Shelton: My friend Nolan told me this thing about men and sex, that they think about it 238 times a day and when they do they adjust their belts.
Tom Bartlett: That's ridiculous, no, no, not the belt- I meant the amount. That's ridiculous. Do the math I'm awake maybe 17 hours a day. Times 60 would be 1020, divided by 238, that would be sex about every 4 minutes... yeah, yeah, that's about right.
Amanda Shelton: I've been here 20 minutes.

Tom Bartlett: I think I've loved you since that first day in the market.
Amanda Shelton: You mean the day I had my hand up your pants. Men are so easy.
Tom Bartlett: Oh yeah.

Tom Bartlett: If the broom fits, ride it!

Tom Bartlett: I love shoes.
Brian in Shoes: Me too Mr. Bartlett.
Tom Bartlett: I love how we sell shoes. I love how we sell them in twos, it's so... Noah's ark!

Tom Bartlett: It's like riding a bicycle. The first nine times you fall off but the tenth time you can go on for miles.

Tom Bartlett: She cursed me. She said in this creepy little voice, a man's character is his destiny...
Lois McNally: Oh... She's a wise witch. She casts her spells in proverbs.

Amanda Shelton: That's impossible.
Tom Bartlett: Why's that?
Amanda Shelton: One good sexual thought takes at least 20 minutes.

Tom Bartlett: Very bold plate selection, I might add. Explains the outfit.
Amanda Shelton: To eliminate a necklace would've taken another half hour.
Tom Bartlett: I see.
Amanda Shelton: Doesn't look like it takes you very long.
Tom Bartlett: Touché. I do seem to come out of the shower fully dressed in a blue suit.

Lois McNally: There's a very thin girl in your office.
Tom Bartlett: That's Chris. Lois, what is she doing in my office without me?
Lois McNally: I don't know, but I offered her a sandwich.

Valderon: This is no knife!
Tom Bartlett: Hey, what the...
Valderon: I spit on your knife.
Tom Bartlett: Hey!
Valderon: I spit on your restaurant. And finally, I spit on...
Tom Bartlett: No, no. Allow me.
[spits on his own arm]
Tom Bartlett: There.
Valderon: That is the first intelligent thing you have done. I fire you!
Tom Bartlett: What you can't...
Valderon: Au revoir, Dickhead!

Lois McNally: It's hot in here. I'm gonna open a window.
Tom Bartlett: Yeah. NO! She'll get in.

Tom Bartlett: How did you get in here?
Amanda Shelton: The door.

Chris: Tommy, what am I doing with someone like you?
Tom Bartlett: Me?
Chris: Me! With my perfect hair.

Chris: I have decided that you are a waste of my perfect wardrobe, with matching shoes.
Tom Bartlett: Nobody's that perfect.
Chris: [looks down at her chest] Oh, oh, I am.

Amanda Shelton: Do all these elevators go to 4?
Tom Bartlett: Just pick one and press 4.

Tom Bartlett: How do you know so much about paper airplanes?
Amanda Shelton: I hated algebra.