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Quotes for
Stuart (Character)
from Threesome (1994)

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Threesome (1994)
Stuart: How did we get on the ceiling?
Eddie: Did you pay the gravity bill this morning?
Stuart: I forgot!

Alex: If you eat my yogurt again, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Stuart: You make murder sound so sexual, Alex.

Stuart: Sex is kinda like pizza. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.

Stuart: Straight sex is better than gay sex, it's written in the Bible.
Alex: Is that in the King James or the New World Edition?

Alex: If you're so hot on the idea, why don't you have sex with him?
Stuart: Taste of semen makes me gag.
Alex: How would you know? Whose semen were you eating?
Stuart: My own.

Stuart: Why didn't you just fuck her?
Eddie: Yeah, right!
Stuart: Eddy, the girl was ripping your pants off with her teeth. She's in the perfect position, at least get a blowjob!

Stuart: I'm telling you. If you don't have sex soon, you dick is going to shrivel up and go inside your body. Then what do you have? A vagina.

[On Catcher In The Rye]
Stuart: It's a great book, you're going to love it.
Alex: I've read it four times.
Stuart: I've often felt like the main character, Holden Caulfield...
Eddie: No, no, he's Stratladder, the obnoxious room-mate who thinks he's it.

[after the guys meet Alex, she storms out, slamming the door]
Stuart: Wow, she's amazing. Truly amazing.
[sings]
Stuart: Amaaaaazing grace...
Eddie: It's not Grace, it's Alex.
Stuart: [sings] Amaaaaazing Alex...
[Eddie hits Stuart in the face with a football]