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: Hey, Kiddo, do the cockroaches come over here on the big ships or do they fly nowadays? Stephanie
: I think the American ones are born here. Archie
: Don't be fresh.
: Here's my argaroll socks straight from California, made in Taiwan. Stephanie
: Is Aunt Rose is still sick? Archie
: No, she has D-Y-E-D. Stephanie
: You mean D-I-E-D. D-Y-E-D means she changed color. Archie
: She probably done that too.
: Where's Joey and the meathead? Gloria
: [to Archie
] Did you teach her that? Archie
: Where is Joey and the meathead?
[Gloria lightly slaps him
: Don't hit your father in the airport.
: How was your trip? Stephanie
: I threw up twice. Mike Stivic
: Rough plane ride, huh? Stephanie
: I threw up in Gloria's car.
[Finding out Stephanie is Jewish
] Stephanie Mills
: My father said not to talk about it. Edith Bunker
: Why? Stephanie Mills
: He said if Uncle Archie knew he would call be a Hebe.
: Whatsa matter with you, you mad at me? Stephanie Mills
: No. Are you mad at me? Archie Bunker
: No, I ain't mad at you. You didn't do nothing. Oh, yeah. I got something for ya. It's this here. See, I just happen to be passing the store.
[holds up a Star of David
] Stephanie Mills
: It's pretty. Archie Bunker
: It's supposed to go around your neck, so let me do that for ya. Archie Bunker
: [puts it on her and fastens it
] Yeah, that ain't bad. Archie Bunker
: [goes to go into the house, but pauses at the door
] You know, you gotta love somebody to give 'em one of them. I mean, you gotta love everything about them.
: Thanks, Uncle Archie. Archie
: Me? But it's from your father. Stephanie
: My father doesn't spell "Daddy" D-A-D-Y.
: Stephie, don't you want to come with us and have fun at Disneyland? Stephanie Mills
: No. Archie Bunker
: You will have fun where I tell you to have fun.
: [Stephanie has been skipping school
] What did they learn you? Stephanie Mills
: History. How Marco Polo opened trade with China. Archie Bunker
: Richard E. Nixon done that, you're lyin'.
: A person can't go paralyzed by smelling cabbage. Archie Bunker
: I don't know, the nose is a pretty strong thing. One time I was changing one of Joey's diapers and I nearly passed out.
: I'd like to go to the John. Edith Bunker
: We're going to the John. Archie Bunker
: I heard.
] Archie Bunker
: "John"? Couldn't you have taught her to say "toilet" like educated people? Floyd Mills
: I try the best I can. Archie Bunker
: Well you failed.