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Quotes for
Stephanie Mills (Character)
from "All in the Family" (1971)

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"All in the Family: Stephanie and the Crime Wave (#9.17)" (1979)
Archie: Hey, Kiddo, do the cockroaches come over here on the big ships or do they fly nowadays?
Stephanie: I think the American ones are born here.
Archie: Don't be fresh.

Archie Bunker: Here's my argaroll socks straight from California, made in Taiwan.
Stephanie: Is Aunt Rose is still sick?
Archie: No, she has D-Y-E-D.
Stephanie: You mean D-I-E-D. D-Y-E-D means she changed color.
Archie: She probably done that too.


"All in the Family: California, Here We Are (#9.12)" (1978)
Stephanie: Where's Joey and the meathead?
Gloria: [to Archie] Did you teach her that?
Archie: Where is Joey and the meathead?
[Gloria lightly slaps him]
Archie: Don't hit your father in the airport.

Mike Stivic: How was your trip?
Stephanie: I threw up twice.
Mike Stivic: Rough plane ride, huh?
Stephanie: I threw up in Gloria's car.


"All in the Family: Stephanie's Conversion (#9.20)" (1979)
[Finding out Stephanie is Jewish]
Stephanie Mills: My father said not to talk about it.
Edith Bunker: Why?
Stephanie Mills: He said if Uncle Archie knew he would call be a Hebe.

Archie Bunker: Whatsa matter with you, you mad at me?
Stephanie Mills: No. Are you mad at me?
Archie Bunker: No, I ain't mad at you. You didn't do nothing. Oh, yeah. I got something for ya. It's this here. See, I just happen to be passing the store.
[holds up a Star of David]
Stephanie Mills: It's pretty.
Archie Bunker: It's supposed to go around your neck, so let me do that for ya.
Archie Bunker: [puts it on her and fastens it] Yeah, that ain't bad.
Archie Bunker: [goes to go into the house, but pauses at the door] You know, you gotta love somebody to give 'em one of them. I mean, you gotta love everything about them.


"All in the Family: The Appendectomy (#9.16)" (1979)
Stephanie: Thanks, Uncle Archie.
Archie: Me? But it's from your father.
Stephanie: My father doesn't spell "Daddy" D-A-D-Y.


"All in the Family: The Bunkers Go West (#9.11)" (1978)
Edith Bunker: Stephie, don't you want to come with us and have fun at Disneyland?
Stephanie Mills: No.
Archie Bunker: You will have fun where I tell you to have fun.


"Archie Bunker's Place: Archie Alone: Part 1 (#2.1)" (1980)
Archie Bunker: [Stephanie has been skipping school] What did they learn you?
Stephanie Mills: History. How Marco Polo opened trade with China.
Archie Bunker: Richard E. Nixon done that, you're lyin'.


"All in the Family: Too Good Edith (#9.25)" (1979)
Stephanie: A person can't go paralyzed by smelling cabbage.
Archie Bunker: I don't know, the nose is a pretty strong thing. One time I was changing one of Joey's diapers and I nearly passed out.


"All in the Family: Little Miss Bunker (#9.1)" (1978)
Stephanie Mills: I'd like to go to the John.
Edith Bunker: We're going to the John.
Archie Bunker: I heard.
[to Floyd]
Archie Bunker: "John"? Couldn't you have taught her to say "toilet" like educated people?
Floyd Mills: I try the best I can.
Archie Bunker: Well you failed.