Tom Willis
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Quotes for
Tom Willis (Character)
from "The Jeffersons" (1975)

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"The Jeffersons: Florence's Problem (#2.18)" (1976)
George Jefferson: Why would Florence want to die?
Tom Willis: She probably doesn't, she probably wants to be saved.
George Jefferson: Then she should go to church.
Helen Willis: But if she really wanted to be saved, why didn't she just come out and say so?
Tom Willis: Well, maybe she did, in her own way. She left these clues, a note, a prized possession, I think she was crying out for help.
George Jefferson: Did you ever hear her sing? She needs help.

Louise Jefferson: Does this mean you're leaving us?
Florence Johnston: Yes.
George Jefferson: Where're you going?
Florence Johnston: I'm going to God's house, Mr. Jefferson.
George Jefferson: Church? She DOES want to be saved.
Florence Johnston: No, not church, God's house in the sky.
Louise Jefferson: Oh Florence!
Tom Willis: But I thought you said you weren't going to jump.
Florence Johnston: I ain't gonna jump, I'm scared of heights.
Helen Willis: But you WERE going to...
Florence Johnston: I got enough pills saved up to do it peacefully and quietly, I'll just take them when I go to bed tonight.
Tom Willis: Do you realize what you're saying?
Florence Johnston: Sure, when I wake up in the morning, I'll be riding that chariot to the land of glory.
Louise Jefferson: We are NOT going to let you do this, Florence.

Tom Willis: I think you're being pretty selfish. Don't you care how your friends will feel if you do this?
Florence Johnston: What friends? All I got is floors to scrub and windows to clean.
Helen Willis: We're you're friends.
Florence Johnston: You're my employers.
Louise Jefferson: We're your friends too, Florence, we care about you.
Florence Johnston: About me? I'm only the maid, and I ain't even a good one at that.
George Jefferson: She's right about that, she's a terrible maid.


"The Jeffersons: George's Dream (#5.5)" (1978)
George Jefferson: Willis, if I looked as bad as you did, I'd wake myself up!
Tom Willis: Did you say something, Helen?
Helen Willis: No, Tom.
George Jefferson: I DID, YOU BIG HONKY!

George Jefferson: [Tom sits where George is sitting] Hey what're you doing? You almost squashed me!
Helen Willis: Tom, Tom, remember our diet.
Tom Willis: Did you say something, dear?
George Jefferson: She said you're too fat!

Helen Willis: I know that Tom misses George too. It's been years since anybody's called him honky.
George Jefferson: [shouting] Honky-honky-honky-honky-HONKY!
Tom Willis: Did someone call me?
Helen Willis: No dear, you must've been dreaming.
Tom Willis: Oh!


"The Jeffersons: George's Skeleton (#1.6)" (1975)
George Jefferson: You ever run across a story about a dude who committed a crime say a long time ago, and a RAT, who knows about it, begins to hound him and hound him?
Tom Willis: Well, that sounds like Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.
George Jefferson: Le who?
Tom Willis: Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.
George Jefferson: Oh, how's it go?
Tom Willis: Well the hero, Jean Valjean, was relentlessly pursued by his tormentor. But he finally found his freedom.
George Jefferson: How'd he do that?
Tom Willis: Well the villain killed himself.
George Jefferson: Oh that's good, so the good guy got away and lived happily ever after?
Tom Willis: No, he drowned in a sewer.


"The Jeffersons: The Breakup: Part 1 (#2.16)" (1976)
Tom Willis: [Helen and Louise are fighting] Now, now, now! This is no way to break up over crazy George.
George Jefferson: HEY! Who you calling crazy, honky?
Tom Willis: [enraged] Don't call me honky!
George Jefferson: Huh! Why are you so sensitive all of a sudden?
Helen Willis: He's not the only one!
Tom Willis: How would you feel if I called you nigga?
George Jefferson: [appalled] Huh! He called me nigga!
Helen Willis: That's no worse than honky!
George Jefferson: You're right. Nothing's worse than a honky except being married to one!


"The Jeffersons: Now You See It, Now You Don't: Part 2 (#6.5)" (1979)
Tom Willis: [to Bentley] Hey, are you going to pull a rabbit out of your hat?
George Jefferson: That's nothing, Weezy can pull rabbits out of that telescope.


"The Jeffersons: Sayonara: Part 2 (#11.13)" (1985)
Jessica Jefferson: [looking at Jessica's picture of the family] This is the most handsome guy so he must be me right?
Jessica Jefferson: No, that's daddy. You're over here, the second most handsome man.
Helen Willis: What's that licorice stick?
Jenny Willis Jefferson: It's either you or me.
Helen Willis: Are we all waiting for a bus?
Tom Willis: No, I *am* the bus!