Michael Evans
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Quotes for
Michael Evans (Character)
from "Good Times" (1974)

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"Good Times: Where There's Smoke (#5.16)" (1978)
Michael: Penny, what's wrong? You look a little humdrum. Just between us, did you eat any of Thlema's soup?
Thelma: [Thelma re-enters the living room] Hey, I heard that, buddy! Just for that, you're not getting any dinner!
Michael: You promise?

Michael: What's wrong, Penny? You look a little hum-drum!
[Hushed]
Michael: Between you, and me, did you have any of Thelma's soup?
Thelma: I heard that, buddy! Just for that, you're not getting any dinner!
Michael: You promise?


"Good Times: The Evans Get Involved: Part 2 (#5.2)" (1977)
Michael: [J.J. comes out of the bathroom dressed as a space man] What is that?
Thelma: I think it's a U.F.O-Unidentified Fool Object.
J.J.: I'm Captain J.J. from the planet Ghetto. I'm straight as an arrow and right on course, don't mess with me 'cause I'm known as "The Force".

Willona: I just hope she's too beat to beat on Penny.
Michael: Beat on her? You think her mother does THAT to her?
Willona, Thelma: Yes/No.
Willona: We didn't see it but I'm sure she did.
Michael: Oh, well then you're talking about is ALLEGED child beating.
J.J.: Here's the way it comes down, Michael. The alleged mama took her alleged fists and hit the little kid's alleged back, and left a mess of alleged bruises that were LEGIBLY clear.


"Good Times: Michael Gets Suspended (#1.5)" (1974)
James Evans, Sr.: A spook sailed with Columbus?
Michael Evans: That's right.
James Evans, Sr.: He did the rowing, didn't he?


"Good Times: No More Mr. Nice Guy (#5.13)" (1978)
Thelma Evans: Look at the grade Michael got on his paper!
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: A F? Not bad!
Thelma Evans: Not bad?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: That's nothing, I once got a K!
Michael Evans: A K?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Yeah, a K for cruddy.
Michael Evans: JJ, cruddy is spelled with a C.
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Well, it was a spelling test.


"Good Times: Too Old Blues (#1.1)" (1974)
Michael Evans: [to the furniture movers] You're upsetting my sister. Thelma, please don't faint!
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Thelma's gonna faint?
Michael Evans: Thelma, PLEASE don't faint.
Thelma Evans: Oh my! I do feel weak! All the blood is rushing from my head!
[falls on the floor]
Michael Evans: Get back, give her air.
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: This poor child ain't had nothing to eat for the last two weeks, except for some rotten oatmeal.
Thelma Evans: Where am I?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Marshall Fields. Oh! Did you hear that? The poor child thinks she's in Marshall Fields!


"Good Times: Black Jesus (#1.2)" (1974)
Michael Evans: Hey, Thelma, how do you like this?
Thelma Evans: [takes close look at JJ's painting] What is it?
Michael Evans: Don't show your ignorance. This is Black Jesus.
Thelma Evans: Black Jesus, my foot. That's Ned the Wino.
Michael Evans: You mean the dude who's always walking up and down the street drinking wine and preachin'?
Thelma Evans: Ned the Wino, better known as the Ghetto Prophet.
Michael Evans: Yeah, he's always predicting the end of the world and asking for a dime for some wine, so he can die happy.
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Which he does every night.


"Good Times: Bye, Bye, Bookman (#5.9)" (1977)
Michael Evans: [on Bookman finding another job] Yeah, but where do you put a man who's lazy, mouths off, and never keeps his promises?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Send him to Washington.


"Good Times: The Man I Most Admire (#2.5)" (1974)
Willona Woods: What are you doing?
Michael Evans: I have to write about the man I most admire.
Willona Woods: Then write about John Wayne.
Florida Evans: John Wayne?
Michael Evans: Yeah, what he ever do for black people?
Willona Woods: He was so busy killing all them Indians, he left us blacks alone!


"Good Times: The I.Q. Test (#2.7)" (1974)
Michael Evans: One question asked "a mother, father and two children live in a residence with 5 bedrooms. The mother and father sleep in one bed and the two children each have their own bedroom. How many guest bedrooms are there?" How many kids in the ghetto are going to know what a guest bedroom is?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Yeah, the only time we get a guest room around here is when somebody puts a sleeping bag in the bathtub.
Florida Evans: And a lot of kids in the ghetto don't have their own bedrooms either.