Florida Evans
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Quotes for
Florida Evans (Character)
from "Good Times" (1974)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Good Times: Stomach Mumps (#6.6)" (1978)
Florida: [about Willona] What is wrong with that woman? Doesn't she know that every year, one million teenaged girls get pregnant in the country?
J.J.: Imagine how many get pregnant in the city.
Florida: J.J., out of that million, over 13,000 are ages 14 and under. It's a sad day when kids have to guess about sex because their parents are too scared to explain it to them.

Willona: [about Penny] If I tell her about sex before she's ready she'll go out and do it.
Florida: Since when did knowing about sex make kids rush into it? It's not knowing that does it.

Florida Evans: [Willona refuses to talk to 13 year old Penny about sex, even though her friend is pregnant] Girl, look around, this isn't a finishing school, it's the ghetto! If you don't tell Penny about it she'll pick it up from the street, she's going to hear it wrong and from the wrong people.

Florida: [to Willona after arguing with her] Goodbye Mother Goose, old woman in the shoe! Ain't got but one child and still don't know what to do!

Florida: You know how J.J. is.
Willona: Yeah, just like the two kids on the bus. Couldn't have been no more than Penny's age, they were in the back seat hugging and kissing so fast and furious that if the bus driver put on the brakes, the bus could've coastered through town on pure friction!
Florida: Well, if parents would take the time to educate their kids about sex, they wouldn't have to cheapen it in the backseat of a bus.
Willona: What parents? They teach sex in school now.
Michael Evans: They do? I'm going back for my extra credit.
Florida: Michael!
Michael Evans: Just jiving, ma, just jiving.

Florida: [to Willona] You're not gaining anything by letting Penny run around Chicago thinking that booster shots will keep her stomach down.


"Maude: Florida's Affair (#2.6)" (1973)
Whitnauer Fulton: Raindrops keep falling on my head.
Florida Evans: If you come anywhere near me,you'll have more than raindrops falling on your head.

Gerald Plummer: Rain drops keep falling on my head.
Florida Evans: If you come anywhere near me,you'll have more than raindrops falling on your head.

Florida Evans: If men knew what women know about men, men wouldn't have nothing to do with themselves.

Whitnauer Fulton: sings Raindrops keep falling on my head.
Florida Evans: If you come anywhere near me,you'll have more than raindrops falling on your head.


"Maude: The Will (#2.11)" (1973)
Walter Findlay: I am sick and tired of your attitude Maude.You wanna wear the pants in this family?Be my guest.
[pulls his pants down]
Maude Findlay: Walter if you're stupid enough to stand there with your pants down,let me tell you one thing.Our guests have arrived.
Florida Evans: [to guests] I think I owe you all an apology.If I had known that the husband of the year was gonna take his pants down,I would done a better job by ironing his shorts.

Walter Findlay: I am sick and tired of your attitude Maude.You wanna wear the pants in this family,be my guest.
Maude Findlay: Walter if you're stupid enough to stand there with your pants down,let me tell you one thing.Our guests have arrived.
Florida Evans: I think I owe you all an apology.If I had known the husband of the year was gonna take his pants down,I would have done a better job by pressing his shorts.

Walter Findlay: I am sick and tired of your attitude Maude.You wanna wear the pants in this family,be my guest. pulls his pants down
Maude Findlay: Walter if you're stupid enough to stand there with your pants down,let me tell you one thing.Our guests have arrived.
Florida Evans: to guests I think I owe you all an apology.If I had known the husband of the year was gonna take his pants down,I would have done a better job of pressing his shorts.


"Maude: Maude Meets Florida (#1.3)" (1972)
Maude Findlay: The thing that we have to get straight right off the bat is that in this household we are all on a first name basis. I mean, even my daughter calls me Maude. Now what's your first name?
Florida Evans: Florida.
Maude Findlay: Florida. Oh, you were named after the state.
Florida Evans: No, I was named after my aunt.
Maude Findlay: Oh, and she was named after the state?
Florida Evans: No, she was named after her mother.
Maude Findlay: Oh, her mother...
Florida Evans: Was named after an orange.
[laughter]
Florida Evans: You see, they was picking them down there and she went into labor right in the orange grove; had the baby ten minutes later. They was either gonna call her Florida or Sunkist. Now you know the whole story.
Maude Findlay: Fascinating. Fascinating. I mean, the things that come out of your culture are so, so rich, so juicy.
Florida Evans: Mmm, mmm. I got one about an apple I'll tell you sometime.

Florida Evans: [During Florida's interview for the maid job] Now, the first week'll be on a trial basis.
Maude Findlay: Oh, Florida, don't be ridiculous, you're not on trial.
Florida Evans: I know - you are.

Maude Findlay: I want you to consider this your home.
Florida Evans: I got a home.
Maude Findlay: You can say that again.


"Maude: Maude's Guest (#2.16)" (1974)
Francie Potter: Hey, Fat Mama, whatcha gonna do wit' my bags?
Florida Evans: You call me 'fat mama' again and I'll show you what I'm gonna do with them.

Maude Findlay: Well, well, well, you two are having a real old fashioned bull session?
Florida Evans: Yeah, a lotta bull but not much session.

Maude Findlay: And here is the pièce de résistance: a poster of Isaac Hayes. They say that John Denver is very big now too, but unfortunately he's white.
Florida Evans: Oh, poor devil.


"Good Times: Too Old Blues (#1.1)" (1974)
Florida Evans: James, I'm so sorry.
James Evans, Sr.: For what, needing your appendix out?
Florida Evans: But that operation cost all the money we had. Now you work all day and take a second job and work all night. I'm so sorry.
James Evans, Sr.: Baby, you say you're sorry one more time and I'll give you something to be sorry about.

Florida Evans: Who would've thought they wouldn't give us the loan because James made $100 too much last year? I didn't know $4200 was the limit for a family with three kids.
Willona Woods: Well I've got an idea, if you had a fourth kid...
Florida Evans: I'm willing to listen but I'd need a 9 month notice.

James Evans, Sr.: Now Florida, move.
[picks Florida up and moves her away from the door and leaves]
Florida Evans: Damn, that man always could MOVE me.


"Good Times: The Baby (#3.7)" (1975)
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: [hangs up] I got the vet hospital by mistake.
Florida Evans: Are you sure?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: I must've, he told me to put Loretta in a cardboard box and let nature take its course.

Willona Woods: [forced to handle the delivery themselves] Florida, what do either of us know about bringing a baby into the world?
Florida Evans: A lot more than a baby knows how to get here by itself, now come on!

Florida Evans: [to Thelma] Get a cold towel to put on Loretta's head.
Willona Woods: Make that two.
Florida Evans: Loretta only needs one towel.
Willona Woods: I know that, the other's for me!


"Maude: Florida's Problem (#1.18)" (1973)
Henry Evans: I'm coming back at 9:00, and I mean 9:00 WPT.
[he leaves]
Maude Findlay: Florida, what's "WPT"?
Florida Evans: White People Time. If he didn't mean 9:00 sharp he would have said CPT. That's Colored People Time. Which means 'shuffle on in when you feel like it'.
Maude Findlay: Of all the male chauvinist pigs. I mean, he's something straight out of the dark ages. Nothing racial intended.

Florida Evans: [to her husband, Henry] Now, you hurt because of your pride, and I love you for that. But I also resent you for not being just as proud of me as I am of you.
Henry Evans: I am proud of you Florida, its just that I don't want you to be a maid no more.
Florida Evans: Them two don't go together Henry. Your mother was a maid. That's how your brothers got through school and you got to be a fireman. My grandmother was a maid, that's how my daddy got a little schoolin'. There are a lot of women, Henry, on both sides of my family, who worked all their lives in white kitchens so their kids could get some of the things they should have. You want to be proud of something Henry? You be proud of them, because they was all black women and I tell you there ain't never been a better woman than that.


"Good Times: Michael the Warlord (#4.4)" (1976)
Florida Evans: He's having labor troubles and she's having labor pains.
Clara: This will be her ninth.
Florida Evans: That woman's had more deliveries than Chicken Delight.

Florida Evans: Mr. Parker, we are concerned parents, not vigilantes.
Mr. Parker: We need to be both, somebody's got to do something about those Junior Warlords, the school can't and the law won't.


"Good Times: Where Have All the Doctor's Gone? (#6.17)" (1979)
Dr. Kelly: It's no wonder so many of you black people have high blood pressure. All the short ribs, pork's feet and pigs ears.
Florida Evans: Maybe you haven't noticed, doctor, but there's a shortage of caviar in the ghetto.
Dr. Kelly: I'm talking about maintaining a simple, balanced diet, red meat, fresh fruits and vegetables.
Florida Evans: You're talking about health, but in the ghetto, it's survival of the fittest. We buy what's cheap and they make damn sure it's not cheap.

Dr. Kelly: Mrs. Evans, it's after 4:00. Do you know what would happen if I visited all my patients after hours?
Florida Evans: They'd probably die of shock from seeing you.


"Good Times: The I.Q. Test (#2.7)" (1974)
Florida Evans: [J.J. painted a picture of Michael] Why'd you paint him in a nightgown?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: That's no nightgown, that's a Supreme Court judge's robe.
Florida Evans: Why's it purple?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: That purple symbolizes something.
James Evans, Sr.: What's it symbolize?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: It symbolizes that I ran out of black paint.

Michael Evans: One question asked "a mother, father and two children live in a residence with 5 bedrooms. The mother and father sleep in one bed and the two children each have their own bedroom. How many guest bedrooms are there?" How many kids in the ghetto are going to know what a guest bedroom is?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Yeah, the only time we get a guest room around here is when somebody puts a sleeping bag in the bathtub.
Florida Evans: And a lot of kids in the ghetto don't have their own bedrooms either.


"Good Times: The Big Move: Part 1 (#4.1)" (1976)
Florida Evans: [Florida sings the moving song] "Mi" "crooked letter" "crooked letter" "i" "crooked letter" "crooked letter" "i" "hooked-back letter" "hooked-back letter" "i"
["crooked letter" refers to the letter "s" by gesturing a step forward and stating "Crooked Letter" while the "hooked-back letter" stands for "p" and gesturing with a step-back. This was the first and only time an ethnic move was used to 'remember' a letter by how is moves]


"Good Times: The TV Commercial (#1.11)" (1974)
Florida Evans: [the scrawny, intoxicated messenger is about to leave] Hey, wait a minute, do you use Vita Brite?
Messenger: Day and night.
James Evans, Sr.: Damn, I'd hate to think what he looked like before he was using it.


"Good Times: The Big Move: Part 2 (#4.2)" (1976)
Florida: [shouts] Damn, damn, damn!


"Maude: Maude and the Radical (#1.5)" (1972)
Maude Findlay: Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Dubonay is a visitor from a far-off land. She is a proud native of a newly emerging black nation.
Florida Evans: Yeah, Harlem.


"Good Times: The Man I Most Admire (#2.5)" (1974)
Willona Woods: What are you doing?
Michael Evans: I have to write about the man I most admire.
Willona Woods: Then write about John Wayne.
Florida Evans: John Wayne?
Michael Evans: Yeah, what he ever do for black people?
Willona Woods: He was so busy killing all them Indians, he left us blacks alone!


"Good Times: The Family Gun (#3.2)" (1975)
Florida Evans: Did you read that article in 'The Defender'? It says that in the United States someone was shot every minute with a gun.
James Evans, Sr.: The dude must be awful full of holes about now.