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Quotes for
Bill Rago (Character)
from Renaissance Man (1994)

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Renaissance Man (1994)
[Talking about Shakespeare to the class]
Bill Rago: He wrote plays. Plays...? You know, like TV without the box.

Bill Rago: GO NAVY.

Bill Rago: Hi. I'm Bill Rago. I've never taught before and you've never thought before. So good luck to all of us.

[Bill writes "oxymoron" on the board]
Pvt. Jamaal Montgomery: You can't say that. That is a diss. I ain't no ox moron.
Bill Rago: No, no, no not ox moron, schmuck; oxymoron.

Bill Rago: All I know is, the choices we make dictate the life we lead. "To thine own self be true."

[Melvin is reading a passage from HAMLET in a monotone voice]
Bill Rago: Melvin, read the rest of it when you come out of the coma.

[reading Hamlet]
Pvt. Jamaal Mongomerey: Bill, are you gonna translate this?
Bill Rago: Why? It's in English.

Bill Rago: [about reading their essay] All right, who wants to start?
[no reply]
Bill Rago: Nobody?
Bill Rago: I thought this was the volunteer army...

Bill Rago: Write... why you're here.
Pvt. Donnie Benitez: This is where they told us to be.
Bill Rago: No, no. Write about the magical twist of fate that prompted you to gravitate towards this institute of imbeciles.
Pvt. Jamaal Mongomerey: [confused] What?
Bill Rago: [very nonchalantly] Write why you joined the Army.

Bill Rago: Now what's a Double D?
Pvt. Jamaal Montgomery: The whole fort calls us Double Ds.
Pvt. Donnie Benitez: Yeah - dumb as dog shit.

Bill Rago: It says here that you're from Detroit. What part?
Pvt. Roosevelt Nathaniel Hobbs: The part you drive through doing 85.
Bill Rago: Been there.

Bill Rago: Hamlet's mama, she's a queen.
Soldiers: Hamlet's mama, she's a queen.
Bill Rago: Buys it in the final scene.
Soldiers: Buys it in the final scene.
Bill Rago: Drinks a glass of funky wine.
Soldiers: Drinks a glass of funky wine.
Bill Rago: Now she's Satan's valentine.
Soldiers: Now she's Satan's valentine.

Bill Rago: Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm looking for the Army Education Center.
[reads referral]
Bill Rago: Captain Tom Murdoch.
MP Directing Traffic: Captain Murdoch's not at the A.E.C. Captain Murdoch's at the A.R.C
Bill Rago: [fumbling to write down directions] A.R.C., A.E.C.
MP Directing Traffic: [Walks up to Rago] You lookin' for Captain Murdoch?
Bill Rago: Yeah.
MP Directing Traffic: The A.E.C. is building 2310. You want building 4475.
Bill Rago: 447...
MP Directing Traffic: Look, here's what you do. You go right here. Take another right at the P.X. Go half a click 'til you see the D.P.T.M. Center. Then take a left.
Bill Rago: [writing furiously] P.M., P.X.
MP Directing Traffic: If you hit the R.F.P.C., you've gone too far.
[returns to post]
Bill Rago: [reviewing notes] D.P.T.M., R.F.P.C.
Bill Rago: Can I buy a vowel?

Florist: Hey, excuse me, sir. I'm lookin' for the base chapel
Bill Rago: Base chapel?
Florist: Yeah.
Bill Rago: Go back around the curve 'til you reach the P.X. Ya hang a right. Ya come to that line A.P.C.s, ya turn left. Go half a click, ya come to the R.F.P.C. building. It's right around the back. Got it?
Florist: [confused] Yeah.

[Rago tells Leroy about Leon Battista Alberti, the archetypal "Renaissance Man."]
Bill Rago: But you know what I remember most about him?
Pvt. Jackson Leroy: No.
Bill Rago: They said that he could stand, with his feet together like this, and spring straight over a man's head.
Pvt. Jackson Leroy: [laughs] Really?
Bill Rago: If Leon Battista Alberti couldn't have done that, I wouldn't have remembered a thing about him.
Pvt. Jackson Leroy: So, wait... he was sort of like a smart jock, wasn't he?
Bill Rago: That's right.
Pvt. Jackson Leroy: Now there's an oxymoron, isn't it?
Bill Rago: You got it.