Derrick Vann
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Quotes for
Derrick Vann (Character)
from The Man (2005)

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The Man (2005)
[from trailer]
[after Derrick shoots Andy in the butt]
Andy Fidler: You shot me!
Special Agent Derrick Vann: I grazed you.
Andy Fidler: Well, that's still shooting me!

[repeated line]
Andy Fidler, Special Agent Derrick Vann: Oh, fuck-cryin' out loud!

Special Agent Derrick Vann: I'm gonna check the front of my car. If it smells like ass, I'm gonna beat you like a runaway slave.

Special Agent Derrick Vann: If you try to run this time, I'll put a bullet in a part of your ass where you're gonna need it.

Andy Fidler: [while farting] It's just a little flatulence.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: Just a little flatulence? An elephant can shit in the back and not smell as bad.

Andy Fidler: I haven't met anyone that I didn't become friends with... eventually.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: Really? Because I haven't met anyone who's ass I didn't kick... eventually.

Andy Fidler: Does the expression, "No man is an island", ring any bells?
Special Agent Derrick Vann: [yelling] Does the expression, "Shut your ass up!", ring any bells?

Andy Fidler: I just think we should be cooperating if I'm going to be your partner...
Special Agent Derrick Vann: You are *not* my partner!
Andy Fidler: Really? Then what am I?
Special Agent Derrick Vann: You're my bitch. My own personal bitch. When I pull the strings, you dance. Till then, you sit there, keep your mouth shut, and don't say a word... like the puppet you are.

Special Agent Derrick Vann: Oh, so you the MAN now?
Andy Fidler: Y-yes, I am the man!

Special Agent Derrick Vann: You know how I can tell you're lyin'? I can smell the bullshit coming out of your mouth.

Special Agent Derrick Vann: Which one of you spice girls blew my partner away?
Joey: That would be me.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: Well, I guess that makes you scary spice.

Special Agent Derrick Vann: [to Internal Affairs] You wanna charge me with not being upset, go right ahead.