Dr. Jack Hodgins
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Quotes for
Dr. Jack Hodgins (Character)
from "Bones" (2005)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Bones: The Corpse at the Convention (#10.5)" (2014)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: This is unbelievable; This is the third time I've been a murder suspect. It makes me want to *kill* someone so you don't waste your time.
[pause. Booth and Aubrey exchange looks]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was a joke. I'm joking.

Aldus Carter: [Calling out to the team investigating the body inside a utility area] High intensity LED lamps. Pure light that won't alter the visual integrity of the evidence.
Dr. Howard Fitch: Dr. Saroyan, I have an RCC tool kit, and some debris sifters that...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stop! Stop, alright, everybody? Just keep it down out here, alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd like a head lamp.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Me, too.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. Lamps for everyone.
[Goes upstairs to the crowd]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Who's got the LED lamps?
Aldus Carter: Here. I've got four.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Thank you.
Aldus Carter: Thank *you*.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Returns and hands one to Cam and one to Bones] For you.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Still kneeling over the remains] What is this white crust?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where's *my* lamp?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hello, synthetic rubber. Alright, well this is some kind of cool polymer. So. So far, we have got coffee grounds, melted aluminum foil, two kinds of plastic, polyester, Styrofoam, gum and rubber.
Wendell Bray: And two trays of stuff yet to be identified.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Particulates. Don't say stuff. It's sacrilege.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know what it's like to be innocent and have a bunch of circumstantial evidence, you know... stacked against you.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Thank you, Booth.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: And I really do think you're a good guy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, great.
[Turns and leaves]
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: So, please don't be the killer.

Angela Montenegro: Gosh, this is crazy. It's like walking into a show with my dad, and...
Attendee 3: Miss, Montenegro? I... I... You are the most brilliant person at the Jeffersonian. Your steganographic decryption and stochastic deduction...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Tries to pull Angela away] So sorry, we're actually in a rush
Angela Montenegro: No, no, no, don't be rude! Let her, let her finish, Hodgins
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh?
Angela Montenegro: You were saying?
Attendee 3: I just think you're amazing

Wendell Bray: What're you doing?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, I am making a mold of the shoeprint
Dr. Camille Saroyan: With... what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, I got this from some guy out there, that's experimenting with this inert polymer resin, that's totally not invasive
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, I'm sorry I asked! Just keep at it

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [On hearing who the victim is] Oh my God! Wow, I feel terrible, cause I don't feel terrible

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So the killer wouldn't need to be in the plumbing and electric room when the fire started
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Then all the timelines that Angela worked out, that cleared some of the suspects, are meaningless
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Which means none of the suspects has an alibi
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Including you
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Including me

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen, I know what it's like to be innocent, and have a bunch of circumstantial evidence, you know, stacked against you.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Thank you, Booth.


"Bones: The Change in the Game (#6.23)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm mean, we should be waiting home in comfort.
Wendell Bray: It's normal to be worried. Worried can make a guy edgy. So right now, what you're being is normal.

Wendell Bray: Watch this, I'm about to Brennanize you.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: "Brennanize?"

Angela Montenegro: I don't know. Hot sauce doesn't work. Sex doesn't work. Maybe we should just take a long ride on a bumpy road.
Wendell Bray: How is that any different from sex?
[Wendell chuckles]
Wendell Bray: My mom went into labor after riding on a roller coaster.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That explains a lot.
Angela Montenegro: I don't know, honey. Maybe we should try a- an amusement park.

Angela Montenegro: OH my God.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What? What's the murder weapon, Angie?
Angela Montenegro: Whoa! Are you kidding?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What now? You're the expert.
Angela Montenegro: You've been jumping around all day and when my water breaks you don't even notice.
Wendell Bray: WHAT?
Angela Montenegro: Oh my God! Oh my God! Okay, here we go. Here we go. IT'S SHOWTIME!

Dr. Sherry Banno: Everything looks great.
Angela Montenegro: No, it is not great. It is not great. I want this thing out of me! And it is staying in!
Dr. Sherry Banno: Would you like to reconsider an epidural?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, yeah. Why not Ange?
Angela Montenegro: Because natural childbirth is a beautiful beautiful thing.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Everybody. I would like you to meet my son - Michael Staccato Vincent Hodgins.

Angela Montenegro: [in between labor pains] Hey, hey. Have I ever told you how... how wonderful your voice is? It's like hot tea and... and honey. Any child with a father with a voice like yours is just...
[shakes her head, can't continue]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Have I ever told you how good you smell? And how soft your skin is? And how every time you take my hand, I feel your whole life vibrating with mine?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [In awe, after his son has just been born] We're a family.


"Bones: The Loyalty in the Lie (#11.1)" (2015)
Jack Hodgins: [Arriving at the crime scene] Wow, somebody got their hands on a world-class incendiary device
Camille Saroyan: Well, whoever it was, he really wanted to get rid of this van
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I had one of my people run the VIN. It was stolen from a mall in Baltimore this morning
Jack Hodgins: Your people?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I delegated. That's how I get things done

Jack Hodgins: This stuff is amazing. It was invented for housing insulation, but its uses are endless
Arastoo Vaziri: Fascenating. Any way you can get this done faster?
Jack Hodgins: Whoa! Patience, my friend. Do I tell you how to examine your bones?
Arastoo Vaziri: You don't and I'm grateful. It's amazing you did this without damaging the remains
Jack Hodgins: Well, don't thank me, thank the foam
Arastoo Vaziri: I'm okay with just thanking you

Jack Hodgins: Angie? You're okay?
Angela Montenegro: I ran the... the serial number from the gun, you know, the gun you found on the ankle, and...
Camille Saroyan: You got a name?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, I couldn't believe it! It... it all matches up with what you found: the age and the gender, the body type, all of it. It's his gun
Camille Saroyan: Who's gun?
Jack Hodgins: Booth's!

Jack Hodgins: [Arastoo feels incompetent taking over Bones' job] Hey, when Micheal Jordan retired, you think that Scottie Pippen just stepped into his shoes right away?
Arastoo Vaziri: Pippen didn't step into Jordan's shoes. He never won anything after Jordan retired. And he wasn't half the player Jordan was
Jack Hodgins: Eh, that was bad example, ter... terrible example!

Jack Hodgins: [Enters, seeing Arastoo and Cam looking at the wedding ring] Oh my God! Dude, you asked her! Good for you!
Arastoo Vaziri: No, actually
Jack Hodgins: She said no?
Camille Saroyan: Eh, he hasn't asked yet

Angela Montenegro: I ran the-the serial number from the gun - you know, the gun you found on the ankle - and...
Jack Hodgins: You got a name?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, I couldn't believe it. It all matches up with what you found: the age and the gender, the body type, all of it. Its his gun
Jack Hodgins: Whose gun?
Angela Montenegro: Booth's

Special Agent Grace Miller: [Phone ringing]
Special Agent Grace Miller: Miller
Angela Montenegro: Uhh okay, Montenegro here. I found something important.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: [Turning on the facetime on the tv]
Jack Hodgins: Hello guys! Everything okay?
Special Agent Grace Miller: [Aubrey making a grimace]
Caroline Julian: Peachy! What do you got?

Special Agent Grace Miller: [Phone ringing]
Special Agent Grace Miller: Miller
Angela Montenegro: Uhh okay, Montenegro here. I found something important.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: [Turning on the facetime on the tv]
Jack Hodgins: Hello guys! Everything okay?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: [Aubrey making a grimace]
Caroline Julian: Peachy! What do you got?


"Bones: The Gamer in the Grease (#5.9)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Guess you realize that being this excited about a sci fi movie will drastically cut down the number of women who will sleep with us.
Colin Fisher: Oh, I'm into the high double digits, sex-wise. So, not worried.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're closing in on - a hundred?
Colin Fisher: Mm-hmm.

Angela Montenegro: You boys are not allowed to watch movies on my monitor.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Angela, this is *so* much more than a movie.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. I mean, we're sorry but this screen is so *big*.
Colin Fisher: You get porn on this thing?
Angela Montenegro: Get out! OUT!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Please tell me these all crawled into the dumpster after the oil was removed from the restaurant.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. Insects had antimortem burns which means they flew into the oil while it was cooking.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So easy to diet around here.

Colin Fisher: You and your particulates always ruining the day for me.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, look, I'm going to go relieve Sweets. Just -if anyone asks, tell them I'm defligisterizing tachymosis franklangellum.
[Hodgins leaves]
Colin Fisher: Is that a *real* thing or are you trying to be funny?... Cause that didn't sound real - at all.

Dr. Lance Sweets: [On his cellphone] I - where are you guys? I need backup.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You told me to get lost. So now I have to test the tensile strength of...
Dr. Lance Sweets: Just, please! I need to be released. Relieved - please.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. Sorry doctor. Oh, and uh, save me a meat tart. Bye now.
[Hodgins hangs up]

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Referring to his tattoo] I didn't do it.
Angela Montenegro: Wait a minute - my dad?
[Hodgins chuckles]
Angela Montenegro: My father did that to you.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Let's just say, I think he was trying to prove a point.
Angela Montenegro: I am *so* going to kick his Texan bad ass! You - you need to get that removed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Why?
Angela Montenegro: Because we are not together anymore. And I-I don't want you sweating all over my face. And I-I , you -you need to get that lasered.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Sweets] Quality of the experience. It's much more important than the quantity.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Excited] Who wants to know about peacock poop?


"Bones: The Hero in the Hold (#4.13)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Brennan, I'm telling you, the answer is there... Ten hours.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Long pause] Eight. And Dr. Hodgins is never left alone!
Angela Montenegro: You don't trust him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I don't.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [finding Vega's body] We should take his body back to the lab. Obviously, the Gravedigger killed him. There's gotta be some evidence that we can use.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Remove the body from a crime scene?
Special Agent Payton Perotta: [a car pulls up. Perotta comes out] That would be a very bad idea! Step away from the car please.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [indicating Vega] Was *he* under surveillance? Because a fat lot of good the FBI did him.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Let's be clear here. What we intend to do next constitutes felony conspiriacy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not you! ME! I can do this alone!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. NO! Nobody does anything alone. Vega was alone.

Jared Booth: She's the Gravedigger?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's her.
Jared Booth: Can you prove it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. We can't. Is that problem?
Jared Booth: Not for me!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: The government keeps secret black illegal files on every US citizen. It's called "Spring Cleaning." Because everything is brought out into the light and turned upside down.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay,that is complete paranoia. Right?
Jared Booth: I'll need access to a secure terminal.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Follow me.
[Cam leads Jared out. As Jared is leaving, stops looks at Hodgins]
Jared Booth: And only conspiracy nuts call it "Spring Cleaning."

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [looking at the Gravedigger] I'd like to kill you!
[to Bones]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I hate her! I think I can murder her.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If any kind of people could murder someone, and get away with it, it would be us.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Sweets] Would you rather torture her?
Jared Booth: I know a little bit about that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. What? We don't do that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth will die!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Character's who you are under pressure. Not who you are when everything's fine. We're the good guys. We don't - we don't torture people.


"Bones: The Murder of the Meninist (#11.12)" (2016)
Seeley Booth: [Hodges and Angela enter the diner] Let me help
Jack Hodgins: Oh, no, no, no, Booth, sit, sit. I'm fine, it's fine. My arms work fine. It's the rest of me that's the problem

Angela Montenegro: The doctor told me he has no neural connectivity
Temperance Brennan: So, you... you don't feel anything?
Jack Hodgins: No, I have plenty feeling: anger, rage, eh, biting sarcasm. Though, I'm not sure that last one is a feeling or just a really pissy attitude
Temperance Brennan: It's an attitude
Angela Montenegro: Thank you! Thanks for the clarification

Camille Saroyan: [Notices Hodge has a problem reaching for the carburetor] Dr. Hodgins, would you like a hand?
Jack Hodgins: No, but I could use a new pair of legs
[nobody responses]
Jack Hodgins: No fans of paraplegic humor? Tough crowd

Camille Saroyan: Dr. Hodgins! You used the lift. How was it?
Jack Hodgins: It was exhilarating, Cam. If I'd known I was getting one of those, I'd have crippled myself months ago
Camille Saroyan: I... get it. It's just nice to see you back up here where you belong

Jack Hodgins: Who knows? The world is full of messed up people. I should know, I'm one of them

Camille Saroyan: Dr. Hodgins, how is the car autopsy going? Or would it be an auto-topsy?
Jack Hodgins: I'd laugh, but the explosion must have paralyzed my sense of humor as well

Jack Hodgins: [Wheeling in, grumpy] Okay, you've something for me to analyze? Presumably a piece of evidence you couldn't have walked over to my office
Rodolfo Fuentes: I thought you'd prefer if I didn't treated you with pity
Jack Hodgins: Oh, wow! How considerate of you


"Bones: The Witch in the Wardrobe (#5.20)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hold on, Wendell said that it was totally mutual. Said that you were wonderful.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not sure how I feel about you two discussing me.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Not "discussing" you, complimenting you... Okay, fine. No more compliments. You don't look good today. Your smile is average at best. And it is *not* cool that we finally get to work together again in the field.
Angela Montenegro: ...Okay find I can live with that.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: We live in a facist state.
Angela Montenegro: If you know that, then why did you taunt the guy with the gun?

Angela Montenegro: [as Hodgins is giving her a massage] Oh, thank you God. Oh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: "God" is a little formal. "Hodgins" will do.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a little outside my expertise, but they look like bat bones to me. You missed that Clark?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, Clark's error is completely understandable. Given the condition of the remains, and the bizzare nature of their circumstances.
Dr. Clark Edison: Thank you Dr. Brennan.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, but I made the call on a piece-of-crap cathode ray tube while in jail.
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh, that's right. You're in jail.

Angela Montenegro: It was like we were both playing chicken and then we - we both swerved.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What we should've done is crashed right into each other.
Angela Montenegro: At the speed of light.

Angela Montenegro: That's not my real name.
Floyd Barber: How bad could it be?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah? Did you get mine? It's Stanley.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Yeah, well, my Dad is um, he's sort of unique. And well... he's Texan and uh, other things so, do you mind if I just whisper it to you?
Floyd Barber: That'll work.

Dr. Clark Edison: Nice cell.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's not much, but we call it home.
Angela Montenegro: We're thinking of redoing the kitchen.


"Bones: The Dude in the Dam (#9.8)" (2013)
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's with that gloob?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, it's from the Leopard slugs all over him. Their slime is a polymeric material that can absorb water and ex...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stick with the gloob
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I need him removed before any other evidence is compromised!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ah? Really? I hate we're gonna to have to destroy the beavers fine work
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, make it a good story for his little beaver friends! Okay?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: A mosquito deposited an egg into the dermis of my neck. Dermatobia Hominis, it's a human bot fly. So the hot shower just made it swell up.
Angela Montenegro: You've been letting a fly grow in your neck for the last month?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah
[giggles]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: . Angie, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, you know? I mean, serving as host for one of Mother Nature's miracles
Angela Montenegro: Okay, we're going to Cam right now and she is cutting that thing out of your neck!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: How many men can claim they have given birth?
Angela Montenegro: You're not actually comparing this to carrying a child, are you?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well no, no! Of course not, but
[shows echo]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: you got to admit he's pretty cute! Right? And looking at my neck, I think he actually might come out soon
Angela Montenegro: You're insane!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Hodgins! It appears you're almost to term! Congratulations
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Thanks, Dr. B.
Wendell Bray: This doesn't freak you out even a little?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's in no danger and Dr Hodgins' love of entomology makes his desire to be an insect's host quite reasonable

Wendell Bray: The wound tracks are thick and irregular, a deep, wide V to the left fifth metacarpal, right phalanges metacarpal, left ileum and right femur
Dr. Jack Hodgins: So we're looking for a weapon that is sharp, but not too sharp, a knife but not a knife or an axe but not an axe. Ah, that should take us about 50 or 60 years
Wendell Bray: There is more!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sure, why make it easy?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Angie
Angela Montenegro: Yeah?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Listen, I didn't want to upset you, you know, with the bot fly, but...
Angela Montenegro: You don't have to say anything, honey. I understand
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really?
Angela Montenegro: No! No I do not! But I accept it. We're all a little crazy and your crazy just happens to come out in a bizarre and revolting way. I actually think it's kind a sweet that you want to give life to that thing
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow! I am the luckiest man in the world!
Angela Montenegro: Hm. You're not kidding!

Angela Montenegro: My love for you is stronger than my gag reflex
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really? Okay, thank you! Thank you! Alright, now, is it moving?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, yeah! Oh God I really wish I could hang out in the waiting room smoking cigars with the other dads!


"Bones: The Resurrection in the Remains (#11.5)" (2015)
Seeley Booth: What's with the demon eyes?
Jack Hodgins: Michael Vincent, he flushed my lenses, so these are all I had
Seeley Booth: Right, I mean, of course you have demon prescription lenses. Right?
Jack Hodgins: You don't?
Camille Saroyan: Just change them up as soon as you can, okay, Beelzebub?

Jack Hodgins: Pagan symbols, a headless corpse, Halloween? Is it just me, or is something otherworldly going on here?
Abbie Mills: That sounds like our department

Jack Hodgins: Is there a cosplay competition going on that I wasn't invited to?
Ichabod Crane: Do I look as though I have just beamed from the planet Vulcan? No. I wear these clothes to honor the men who fought so this country could be born.

Jack Hodgins: His redcoat uniform is the real deal. It's made from genuine wool broadcloth. Check the warp and the weft!
Camille Saroyan: Two of my all-time favorite words

Temperance Brennan: I see no conclusive cause of death
Jack Hodgins: Other than having his head cut off?

Wendell Bray: Oh come on, you don't actually believe the skull has supernatural power?
Jack Hodgins: Please, I'm a conspiracy theorist, not a supernatural nut

Jack Hodgins: [about to search through huge piles of medical waste] Yeah, that's where the fun is! I'm just as excited as a little boy is Christmas morning
Camille Saroyan: That makes me feel just a little bad for Michael Vincent


"Bones: The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond (#4.4)" (2008)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I know you're upset about breaking up with Angela, Dr. Hodgins. And I know you're upset about losing Zack. But despite your personal problems this is a *workplace*. And your attitude leave a *lot* to be desired.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fine. If you want to make a change, you *make* a change. Otherwise let me do my job and let me hatch this egg!

Dr. Zack Addy: I'm sorry things are going badly for you.
[Hodgins chuckles slightly]
Dr. Zack Addy: Why are you laughing?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: My best friend is locked up in a loony bin, wearing gloves because he blew up his own hands, and he feels sorry for me.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, Dr. Saroyan, I'm not moving into Zack's space. I'm not being difficult. I just - I can't do it. I hope you understand.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I understand. I thought you being the one who moved in there would be easiest for Zack.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, if he were a normal human that might be true, but...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [slight laugh] Yeah.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I just wish Zack was here, that's all.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You gotta get over it. Zack's not coming back!
Dr. Zack Addy: I know where to find the victim's head.
[Everyone turns and stare at Zack]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is not good.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you get out?
Dr. Zack Addy: You don't look happy to see me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, we're not!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *I* am. I really am.

Zack Addy: I'm king of the loony bin!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, you are.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [upon hearing the victim had kelp and coffee grounds in the treads of his shoes] So the giant todler was brewing coffee on the beach before being killed?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [sarcastically] Yeah, that's it. Case solved!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Shhh! My egg is hatching.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You need quiet for that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, I was just hoping it would keep you from talking.


"Bones: The Parts in the Sum of the Whole (#5.16)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm taking the clothing.
Zack Addy: Why? You are a botanist.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. And a mineralogist, and an entomologist. Which gives me the same number of doctorates as the two of you put together. Because you *don't* have any! I could find fibers or - or spores or other particulates.

Zack Addy: You can take the clothing and leave now.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. You can take that femur and shove it...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Hodgins!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Perhaps the two of you could design an experiment.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What? Whoa. No. Wait, work together?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Have you tried striking Zack in the soft tissue or in the liver?
Zack Addy: What?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, anatomy's really not my thing.
[Bones grabs the bat and hits Zack]
Zack Addy: Ow!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh ho ho! That one had some pepper!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after finding out Bones and Booth didn't sleep together] You ever feel like you saw something great that almost happened, but it didn't.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, your murder victim? Most likely struck with something made out of maple.
Zack Addy: Still an observation so vague as to approach meaninglessness.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Is he *trying* to piss me off?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are always angry. I've been told you have an anger management problem.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm... in a program. I'm supposed to snap this every time I get angry.
[He snaps a rubber band around his wrist]
Zack Addy: I'd be happy to do that for you.


"Bones: The Science in the Physicist (#4.18)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [From inside the lab] FIRE IN THE HOLE!
[Cannon goes off. Booth tries to shield Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What the hell was that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins exits the lab] We're okay. Everything's okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should get out of here before lock down. Let Cam deal with it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. All right.
[They both run for the exit as the alarm goes off]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [to Hodgins and Nigel] You know you're grounded, right?

Dr. Camille Saroyan: What did I tell you?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins and Nigel turn slowly] That we aren't allowed in the same room without supervision.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why?
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Because we were stupid enough to fire a cannon indoors.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You know, you're here. Which-which counts for supervision, so... I'll leave.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You disapprove of the Collar Institute?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Up and forward are only two directions. Science should look in all directions. You taught me that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I did?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Everyday.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Hodgins!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Don't sneak up like that! I could put an eye out on my microscope.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You gotta run!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Speaking of Angela's father] I am *not* scared of him.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay. Okay. You know that whole-that whole "sell your soul at the crossroads" thing? I'm buying it! You gotta run for it man!
Angela Montenegro: I told you so.
[Angela leaves]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. You know what? I secretly had a thing for Angela, now it's gone! Like-like wiped from the memory banks.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [talking to Dr. Brennan] Up and forward are only two directions. Science should look in all directions. You taught me that.


"Bones: Aliens in a Spaceship (#2.9)" (2006)
Dr. Temperance Brennan: If we're less than 4 feet below the surface, this should blow us out.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: And if we're more than 4 feet below the surface?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Then the concussion will turn our brains to jelly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, good, then we can run for Congress. So it's a win-win

Angela Montenegro: I came to visit you at the hospital. I brought you this.
[holds up a teddy bear]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: They-they let me go home.
Angela Montenegro: No, they didn't. You left without being discharged. You stole crutches, which I had to pay for.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: They packed me. Pumped me full of antibiotics. Dished me up and gave me painkillers. So, so, I'm-I'm good to go.
Angela Montenegro: Could you please look at me? You were buried alive. You were operated on without an anesthetic. You were pumped full of drugs. You really should be lying down.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: He's out there, Angela. He buries people alive. I have to catch him. If I can figure out the exact alloy of aluminum, then maybe I could... maybe we could... plus the bit of bumper sticker that Brennan found in my leg...
Angela Montenegro: We're gonna catch him. Okay? I promise you. We're gonna start tomorrow. All of us together.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I can't sleep, Angela.
Angela Montenegro: I thought they gave you something for that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, I mean... I'm afraid that... if I close my eyes... when I open them... I'm gonna be back in that car... buried... running out of air...
Angela Montenegro: Okay. Then you should come home with me.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What?
Angela Montenegro: When you open your eyes, I'll be there.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.
[pause]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You know I'm good for that crutch money.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Someone ran me down with a car.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We knew that already.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, but now we've proved it and I find I'm very annoyed.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [as they're about to use Angela's perfume for a test] Three grand that cost.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Hodgins, I will split the cost when we get out of here.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: There's something you don't know about me... I'm rich.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [shrugs] Me too.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, no. You're... well-off. My family owns the Canteliver Group. And there's not many of us left alive. One to be exact. Me.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, I won't split the cost with you.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: If you can perform surgery out of thin air, then I can pull a little thin air out of thin air.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [as they're about to set off some explosives] Ready?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah... Dr. Brennan it's been a priviledge.
[they hug each other]


"Bones: The Bod in the Pod (#8.7)" (2012)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's a container of some sort.
[brushes sand off]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Filled with... gelatinized human remains.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: At first I thought, pod people.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course you did.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey. There are still a *lot* of questions remaining about the events at Area 51, you know. Did you know that UFO spottings are happen...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Let's just keep it close to earth here, bug boy. Okay? Just simplify the investigation

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Based on angular eye orbits and a large mastoid process, the decedent is male.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Human?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just being thorough.

Arastoo Vaziri: So, what now? Do we just tip it over and let it drain into a tub? Or insert a tube?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Safety first. We want to make sure everything's safe in there.
[leans over and takes a deep sniff of the remains]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh! I have never smelled anything like that before.
[He stands up, a strange look on his face]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I mean, I suppose that that could be, um...
[He falls over backwards and passes out]

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [a little wobbly, walking back over to the remains with Arastoo's help] I'm good. I'm totally fine.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do not fall into the evidence, Dr. Hodgins. It will only add to your humiliation.

Arastoo Vaziri: [at Hodgins' impressed look] What is it, Dr. Hodgins?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [With a big smile] You're a political exile. That is so cool.
[His smile drops at Arastoo's raised eyebrows]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In a terrible, terrible way. Of course.
Arastoo Vaziri: Of course.


"Bones: The Heiress in the Hill (#9.15)" (2014)
Colin Fisher: [Rushing onto the forensics platform] Sorry. Sorry, sorry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're late, Mr. Fisher.
Colin Fisher: Apologies. I was watching the news and wondering if it was even worth getting dressed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ah, we've missed you, Fisher.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Angela about the brother he never knew he had] He has my Mom's eyes. And he loves Jules Verne. Ya know? Just like me. I mean we were... we were having a great time, Angie, ya know? I- I thought he could come home, you know? He could live with us, but uh... I don't know. I just... I, I... I said something that set him off, and I, I could not reel him back in. And, I, I, I... I kept thinking after, if, if we had known each other when I was growing up, maybe, maybe I could have helped. Maybe he wouldn't be where is now.
Angela Montenegro: You know that that is not true.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No? I could have loved him.

Colin Fisher: Oh, Dr. Hodgins, about your brother...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm- I'm fine, Fisher.
Colin Fisher: Well, that's not true. Look, I've spent time at the looney bin. And I was grateful for it. Because sometimes it's the right place to be. Painful, sure. But, what's worse is when someone would look at you... like you shouldn't be there. I always felt like I'd done something wrong rather than just... having a disease. You know? I know this sounds... crazy, but you gotta be happy for him in there. Especially now that he's found you. Trust me; he just won the lottery.
[Puts a blank look on his face]
Colin Fisher: Okay. So that was all sincere, but I'm feeling a little sick talking like that, so I'm gonna go now.

Angela Montenegro: So, I was online looking at dream houses which got me thinking about adding an extra room
Dr. Jack Hodgins: And you want a studio
Angela Montenegro: Which could double as a bug-room
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Listen, I promise we will do it, as soon as I find a suitable bank to rob
Angela Montenegro: You know, we'd make a pretty good team! You could drive the getaway car

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Einstein always says: Imagination is more powerful than knowledge
Jeffrey Hodgins: Yeah well, uh, they weaponised most of Einstein's findings as fast as they could. They always say they're gonna use science for good, but they never do


"Bones: The Bikini in the Soup (#6.14)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, look, I know you and Hannah broke up, but for most people Valentine's Day...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't want to finish that sentence!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. No, I don't.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because at exactly 6:45 PM, I am exiting this building to observe Valentine's Day with Paul.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, what if the murder isn't solved?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: People there is death in this world and there is romance. Today - death is the loser and romance wins.
[Everyone cheers]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What about justice?
[Angela slaps the back of Hodgins's head]

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So uh, Angela just said to me that because we're married, we don't have to be romantic.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Not true.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, yes. I know it's hard to believe but that is *exactly* what she said.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No. Married or not you still have to be romantic.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I knew it. She's testing me.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, no. She's not testing you. She's pregnant and her feet hurt. She may not feel up to initiating the romance. But if you don't, she'll never forgive you. It's the estrogen.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Clark about Cam] Okay, look,
[Hodgins clears his throat]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I want to get out of here as much as she does. I have to make this Valentine's Day one to remember, in case I forget one in the future.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Gave them to the Pharoah's slaves when they were buried with him under the pyramids.
Dr. Clark Edison: To cry into?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Mmm. Cause they were so sad that the Pharoah was gone.
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh, I'm thinking they were crying because they were slaves and being buried alive.


"Bones: The Death of the Queen Bee (#5.17)" (2010)
Wendell Bray: Someday, maybe we can talk about what kind of woman Angela is.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Someday. Yeah.
Wendell Bray: I guess... somewhere, I always knew she was just on loan.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: She is awesome, isn't she?
Wendell Bray: She's totally worth it, man, I mean...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I know...
Wendell Bray: I know you know.

Angela Montenegro: Hey.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey.
Angela Montenegro: Did, um... Did Wendell tell you?
[Hodgins looks at her]
Angela Montenegro: ... Of course he did. You're friends.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You okay?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Yes, I am. As you know I have some experience in this area. I'd... I'd like to know if Wendell's alright.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: He's doing much better than I did after we broke up.
[Smirks]
Angela Montenegro: Well, I don't want to be the kind of person who leaves this string of good-hearted guys behind her, you know?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ange. WE broke up, you know. You did not dump me. And Wendell is fine. I mean, I gotta tell you - I think you left him in better shape than you found him.
Angela Montenegro: I don't know about that. I mean, I'm pretty sure he was born that way.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Still, he is better for having known you, Angela.
Angela Montenegro: And how can you be sure?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because I've been there.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: You know you get very bossy when you don't have any flesh to play with.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I *am* the boss.

Wendell Bray: [Describing his High School] It's a pretty tough place. A lot of violence, a lot of drugs, a lot of pregnancies.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: So you've been throught the baby daddy scare before?
Wendell Bray: Before? Before what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh no.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Angela has the photos Dr. Brennan uploaded of potential weapons from the reunion.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Weapons. Yeah, we didn't have those at the reunion.


"Bones: The Brother in the Basement (#11.2)" (2015)
Dr. Benjamin Metzger: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I'm looking for Angela Montenegro.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I'm her husband. Who are you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Whoever you are, this is not a good time for a massage or a strip tease or whatever societal function you may perform.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, talk to me, my elementary friends. Who is here? Carbon, manganese, phosphorous, sulfur
Arastoo Vaziri: Yeah, you put those together, that makes steel
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes, unfortunately though that's just the appetizer. We've also got: lead, arsenic, zinc, potassium, and some kind of low-density polyethylene

Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's rare that we get vultures around here
Arastoo Vaziri: What I can't believe is that a vulture would have gnawed on these bodies even after they were dosed in sulfuric acid
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Trust me. A vulture's stomach acid is around a 1 on the pH-scale. To them, battery acid is like a nice salsa

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Cam, I just want to say I'm sorry about Jared. I know when you and Booth used to date, he was a big part of your life.
Camille Saroyan: Yeah, he was like a kid brother, the one that always got into trouble, but he was family.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's been two hours and ten minutes since Booth went in for surgery.
Angela Montenegro: Reminding us every five minutes isn't gonna help.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I just feel so useless.
Angela Montenegro: Hey, Brennan just called. Booth's out of surgery, and he's gonna make it.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes! Okay!


"Bones: The Beginning in the End (#5.22)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after spotting Angela's father outside] Okay, I saw him down there. I know you do not believe me, but I saw him.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. I totally believe you. The man carries a black cat bone in his back pack.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh God, help me!

Angela's Dad: You're not afraid of me, are you?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You? No.
Angela's Dad: Good. So now that you're family, I'm going to go ahead here and ask you for a favor.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Anything for family... dad.

Dr. Lance Sweets: So, uh, I'll help you get the car back.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. You know why? Because I'm Mr. Adventure.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'd rather you were Mr. Sneaky Ninja Killer Assassin. But hey, a guy can't be picky in this sidekick market.

Angela Montenegro: And where are we going?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Nous Allon a Paris.
Angela Montenegro: For our honeymoon?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, for a year. Because I have no desire to break in a new forensic anthropologist, and FBI agent. Do you?
Angela Montenegro: No, I do not. Well, everything's changing, huh?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah.
Angela Montenegro: What do you think is going to happen?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Not sure. But I know we'll be together.

Angela Montenegro: Okay, so what I did was modify my mass recognition program -patent pending- to scan the photographic reconstruction of the crime scene, to find areas of comparatively less chaos.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Awesome!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You can understand what she's saying?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Not in the least, but I am so turned on by her brain. I'd love to see her brain totally naked.
Dr. Lance Sweets: It's a terrible image. It's just terrible.


"Bones: The Drama in the Queen (#9.23)" (2014)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Please, place every tissue floating on the water in evidence bags. YOu can checks for particulars back at the lab
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, this isn't not our first rodeo there, Dr. Saroyan
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're equating this victim with animals mistreated at a rodeo! Quite clever
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, I... okay

Dr. Lance Sweets: This is a body dump, Dr. Saroyan
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, I'm impressed
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, did he just Brennan you?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I believe he did
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What does it mean to Brennan someone? Is it a complement? Dr. Sweets seems to be very thorough
Dr. Lance Sweets: Thank you

Jessica Warren: Is this gonna take long, Curly?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Nicknames and a highly competitive nature. I'm go out on a limp and say you grew up with a bunch of boys
Jessica Warren: Good call! Five older brothers

Jessica Warren: And thankfully the acidity didn't degrade the bone
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You risked the remains by using a technique you weren't sure it would work?
Jessica Warren: Yeah. Thanks for all the pineapples and trust in me. I'm thinking Mai Tais after work?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: But I don't trust you. Not now
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was risky, but I got to say, science was on her side

Jessica Warren: Oh, what is it made of?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Synthetic bone and skin. It's filled with minced meat and gelatin, cherry flavor of course
Jessica Warren: It's a master piece!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I know. And here comes the fun part: we get to destroy it!


"Bones: The Bones on the Blue Line (#5.15)" (2010)
Dr. Lance Sweets: You didn't have to give me a lift. I have a car.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You saw someone die, Sweets. You don't just go on with your day after something like that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Right, of course. I was just... you know, I thought, if I could help other people...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes. But well sometimes you can't.

Daisy Wick: Rat excrement will contain not only inorganic clues, but digested remains from the victim that could give us the time of death too.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Go for it.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, I'll need some help.
[Cam gestures to Daisy]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You seem to know your poop.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Angela] But now that thing I do is in print, and every guy who reads that book is going to give it a shot.
[Hodgins sighs]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh well, I got other things I do.
[Strats to leave, then stops]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: My advice only sleep with guys who don't read. 'Cause otherwise, you'll never be rid of me.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: What do you know. King of the Lab.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, that's a first. Usually I have to say it.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yes. But I wanted to hear how it sounded with a touch of modesty.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: This is a Quasar Safety Slug. It was designed to disintegrate so it won't ricochet after it hits its target.
Daisy Wick: So it's a safe bullet?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Not for the person it hits, just for anyone else in the room.


"Bones: The Secret in the Soil (#3.4)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Has it occurred to either of you that this might be another victim in the Widow's Son case?
Dr. Zack Addy: Based on what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because the victim was cooked, like entree, same as that guy in Germany.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's no evidence here to suggest cannibalism, no bite marks...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No condiments...

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hello, my sweet, exotic princess.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What a slightly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins.
Zack Addy: I think he's talking to a bug.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well, now I feel a little... rejected.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [on the phone with Bones and Booth] Are you guys heading towards a giant compost heap?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] It's wrong how excited he sounds.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hello my exotic princess!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What a charmingly inappropriate greeting Dr. Hodgins.
Zack Addy: I think he was talking to the bug.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well now I feel a bit... rejected.

Angela Montenegro: My sketch isn't matching any of the missing women on file.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, maybe no one's missed her yet.
Angela Montenegro: Poor thing. Everyone should be missed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Moving in to kiss Angela] Oh, you are such an angel.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I will get a bucket of cold water. I swear.


"Bones: The X in the File (#5.11)" (2010)
Wendell Bray: Dr. Brennan dealing with flesh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Like a cat dealing with water.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Flesh is not my strength.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm a better man than this...
[Groans]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I want to be happy for them, you know. I really do.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, it's easier for us to accept loneliness, as long as the person we were once with is also alone.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Do you want Angela back?... I don't think you're jealous. I think that you're grieving what you've lost.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Grieving? As in grief?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yes.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: The only thing that cures grief is time. Unless you're recommending a lot of alcohol.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I can't really recommend alcohol.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Man, it'd be great if you could though. Right?
[Hodgins laughs]

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins laughs after a wepon blows the head off a melon with Wendel's picture] That was *way* too much damage. That blew your head clear off.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I don't know if anyone should enjoy their work this much.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after his experiment determines the type of weapon used] That was fun!
Angela Montenegro: Boys.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You got that right.


"Bones: The Bones That Foam (#4.15)" (2009)
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Forgive me, doctors. But is the skin moving?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ooo. God that's strange.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Insect activity?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I've never seen insects like that... except in Alien.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [as foam is coming out of the remains] What the hell is that?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I have no idea. Everyone away from that body!
[Presses a button. Alarms go off]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We're in lock down!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Running the bugs through the mass spec. Not getting any toxins. But they might not have fed on the remains yet. In other words, I need more *samples*.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We all need more samples.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I know. I would just like us all to stay alive during the process.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey. Got something. I found some particulates on our victim's clothing.
[Spouts some scientific jargon]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Also knows as lust dust.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Lust dust?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: On his pants. His, uh... lap?
[No reaction from Cam or Mr. Nigel-Murray]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Strawberry body glitter.
[Still no reaction]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Such as might be utilized by a lap dancer?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well. That's something I can tell Booth.
[She rushes away]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Satisfied] Makes me King of the Lab.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: A large percentage of the monarchy are actually mentally handicapped due to inbreeding.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after a pause] Can't ruin it for me.
[He turns and raises his arms, hands showing peace signs]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: King of the Lab!

Vincent Nigel-Murray: The fire appears not to have damaged the remains.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did it start?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Hodgins and Nigel-Murray point to the remains] Oh, I see. So, we're going with the old blame the corpse defense.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: I just... I... turned on the C ring magnifier. And then there was a little... pop. And then...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Woosh.
[Nodding emphatically as if that explains everything]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Pop. Woosh.


"Bones: The Truth in the Lye (#2.5)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Man, what I would've given to be a fly on the wall when you told those wives...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You would've been swatted, trust me.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [holding up a wedding band] Braided gold and platinum - preserved by true love, no doubt.
Angela Montenegro: One metal for each desperate housewife.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: People, can we at least fake some sense of decorum?
Angela Montenegro: I can't help it - it's so Jerry Springer!

Zack Addy: [Bragging to Hodgins] I'm going on police business.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: So proud.
[to Cam]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Does he mean out? In the world?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We'll pin our phone number on his shirt.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [looking at two Chinese characters] What does it say?
Angela Montenegro: It say, "What make foolish man think I speak Chinese?"

Angela Montenegro: First of all, how does anyone juggle two spouses?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I can think of ways. Of course, by juggle, I mean liter...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I have a scalpel.
Angela Montenegro: Maybe he dissolved himself so there'd be more of him to go around. I'm going to hell, aren't I?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'll save you a seat.


"Bones: The Cold in the Case (#9.21)" (2014)
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, do we at least have time of death?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, that's where it starts really getting weird. Insect activities all over the place. We've got colonization in development of Piophilidae in the skull and extremities
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That puts time of death between 72 and 96 hours
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, 3 or 4 days. What's so weird about that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because in the body cavity there's Calliphordia larvae, which indicates time of death in the last 3 hours
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa, the body was found long before that
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Exactly
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Which accounts for the Chrysomyarufifcies in the feet, which puts time of death in the last 14 days
Special Agent Seeley Booth: 3 hours, 3 days, 2 weeks. Right? What is it?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, evidence says all 3
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's not possible

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, it's all yours, Mr. Vaziri
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Is it me or did it just get totally awkward in here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's probably the perplexing nature of the remains
Angela Montenegro: Eh, no! Actually, I think it was the "Mr. Vaziri". What's going on here?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Uh, a murder case. So if we could focus on the task at hand. The skull is all yours, Mr... Arastoo
[Cam walks away]
Arastoo Vaziri: Thank you
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is something happening that I don't understand?
Angela Montenegro: Yes!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: And they use propofol to keep the remains from animating again in the process
Angela Montenegro: Animating? You mean like "The Walking Dead"?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, it's actually...
Angela Montenegro: If you say "cool" you won't have sex for like a year
Dr. Jack Hodgins: ...revolting. It's totally revolting

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Arastoo] Wow, focusing on your work to avoid personal issues has its rewards!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, I often use work to avoid my personal life

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I was just reviewing some other reports for some other agents, that's all.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, sounds like you're teacher's pet.


"Bones: The Predator in the Pool (#5.18)" (2010)
Clark Edison: Man, you killed the Moroccan Angelfish?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. No, I did not. They died on their own. Only afterwards, did I puree them.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [about Angela] She may be in the market for a new Intern.
Clark Edison: Okay, okay, okay. Listen, I'm gonna - I'm gonna break my cardinal rule for you, and offer some good advice. Don't do that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do what?
Clark Edison: Channel your own frustrations in snide allusions.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins has just performed an experiment] See?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [on phone] No, I don't see. I'm in another place. I'm driving a car.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, if you were here, you'd be very impressed.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hit him with the filter, Booth. That's your connection.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [very concerned] Hodgins means metaphorically, Booth. If you hit a Russian mobster with an actual filter, he'd probably just impale you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, well, that's great. Thanks for the tip.


"Bones: The Sin in the Sisterhood (#6.12)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You got off easy, kid. Mother Nature cleaned these bones.
Wendell Bray: She did a crappy job.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Shh. She can hear you.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: This victim is like a full blown salad of plant particulates.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Then you should be a happy man.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: There's no one happier.
Wendell Bray: You see Dr. Saroyan? It's okay. No one has a life around here.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Who let Cam shoot a gun?
Wendell Bray: The 2nd Amendment.

Angela Montenegro: Would you want another wife?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Truth?
Angela Montenegro: Oh ho... I'm not sure.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: If I could marry you twice, I would do it in a heartbeat.


"Bones: The Doctor in the Den (#4.17)" (2009)
Angela Montenegro: OO. What's that smell? Are you wearing cologne?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's urine. I found traces of uric acid on the victim's clothing.
Angela Montenegro: Oh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was the pheremones you found pleasing.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. The, uh, pheremones in tiger urine.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, I assume it's tiger urine. Cat was probably marking its territory.
Angela Montenegro: I was turned on by tiger urine?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins chuckles] Celibacy isn't easy Ang.

Angela Montenegro: Well there you go. He was playing the field and someone probably nicked him for it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How do you know?
Angela Montenegro: Because despite the fact that I would love to have my legs wrapped around one right now, men are awful.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins enters] Hey.
[the women glare at him]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa. What'd I do?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You're a man.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Are you aware that lionesses do all the hunting?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, and the males simply copulate and eat what the females catch.
Angela Montenegro: And when they get cranky, they eat the cubs... Men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow. Before I flee for my life, the particles I found in the wounds around the femeral artery, ones I thought were mica, are scales.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fish?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, snake. Can maybe have a species by tomorrow.
Angela Montenegro: Hey wanna stay and have a drink?
[Cam snaps her fingers]
Angela Montenegro: Oh yeah. We hate men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm gonna go now.

Angela Montenegro: OO. What's that smell? Are you wearing cologne?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's urine. I found traces of uric acid on the victim's clothing.
Angela Montenegro: Oh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was the pheromones you found pleasing.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. The, uh, pheromones in tiger urine.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, I assume it's tiger urine. Cat was probably marking its territory.
Angela Montenegro: I was turned on by tiger urine?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins chuckles] Celibacy isn't easy Ange.
Angela Montenegro: Tell me about it. Sex is the glue and we were like epoxy.


"Bones: The Man in the Morgue (#1.19)" (2006)
Angela Montenegro: Or better still, you could forget the whole thing and come home.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [over the phone] Don't worry. I made bail.
Zack Addy: Bail?
Angela Montenegro: Bail? For what?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I told you, don't worry. The murder charge won't stick.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Murder charge?
Angela Montenegro: Brennan? The next plane. The next plane, okay? Or I'm coming down there to get you myself.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything's fine. I'm healing up satisfactorily. Bye for now.
[hangs up]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Healing up?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Holding up x-rays] Another present from the bayou.
Angela Montenegro: I keep asking for a baby tee that says "The Big Easy."
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We're all hoping for that. For you, I mean.
[Angela smiles]

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Dark sorcerers suck, man!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Brennan will be fine, Angela. She got bail and the murder charge won't stick.
Angela Montenegro: What is going on with her?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Angela. She started to change the day she met you.
Angela Montenegro: What?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: She sees how you do it. All fun and involvement and pizazz. Big, you know. Big life. Booth came along and gave her the opportunity, but she got the idea from you. Brennan wants a big life like yours. That's how it looks to me anyway, but what do I know? I'm a bug guy - bug and slime. And you know, dirt.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: So... Okay.


"Bones: The Psychic in the Soup (#10.11)" (2015)
Jack Hodgins: Doing all right there, Dr. B? You look like something is bothering you
Camille Saroyan: Which is reasonable, reconsidering she's about to stick her hands in the body stew
Temperance Brennan: Well, I feel as if imbalance of the serotonin levels have affected my neurotransmitters. Probably caused by the fact that today is Sweets' birthday. Whatever tool was used to fell the tree, caused significant damage to the skull
Jack Hodgins: Oh, man! Sweets
Camille Saroyan: He would have been what?
Temperance Brennan: 30
Jack Hodgins: He didn't even make it to 30?

Temperance Brennan: Based on the size of the pelvis and the uniformly coarsed granularity of this auricular surface, the victim was a female in her early 30s
Camille Saroyan: Adults don't go climbing intside trees alone
Jack Hodgins: I do. That's where the really beautiful Hymenoptera are
Camille Saroyan: Right. But unless by some chance the victim is not an obsessive entomologist, this is probably a body dump

Jack Hodgins: Hodge: A bug-autopsy?eah, and I ran a postmortem on all the insects
Avalon Harmonia: A bug-autopsy?
Jack Hodgins: That's right! Yeah, and one of them was murdered

Jack Hodgins: So, I found grease residue in the fracture
Camille Saroyan: Grease? Are we talking French fries, a burger?
Jack Hodgins: Polyurea grease
Camille Saroyan: Oh, sounds delicious
Jack Hodgins: Yeah, if you like the taste of bicicle chain. That's what they use to lubricate them


"Bones: The Girl in Suite 2103 (#2.6)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I could kiss you!
Angela Montenegro: That requires permission... which I deny.

Zack Addy: [about the explosion experiment] I don't understand what happened.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [excited] Ohh, you know what that proves?
Angela Montenegro: That you guys are idiots?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [answering the phone] Bugs, slime, particulates, what's your poison?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hodgins, just listen. Don't say anything. Just do as I ask... You there?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You told me not to say anything.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look okay, listen to me. I need you in your craziest most paranoid conspiracy mode to call the FAA and tell them that a private flight to Bogota is about to leave Kent Island Private Airport and is carrying aliens or-or terrorists, you know. You know what to do. Now do you got any questions?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just one: Full court press, no holds barred, maximum effort?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just stop the plane from taking off.


"Bones: The Money Maker on the Merry-Go-Round (#10.7)" (2014)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, it was the hooker in the bedroom with a candlestick. Tell me this case is not starting to sound like a game of Clue.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Some parts of the victim's remains fell upon her] Ah, uhm, can someone please retrieve this piece of evidence, so it's not compromised?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Grabs the camera] Yeah, in a second. I just got to get a picture of this for the Christmas party
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Seriously?
Dr. Oliver Wells: Smile
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just one second

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Looking in her microscope] Dr. Wells! What can I do for you?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Seriously?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Looks up] Oh, sorry! I just saw the curly hair, beard, lab coat...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Both brilliant, of course. Me a little more so

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, then this isn't the murder weapon
Dr. Oliver Wells: Which means I still have a change to take down Dr. Brennan
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, look, I like a good underdog story as much as the next guy, but my money is on Dr. B
Dr. Oliver Wells: What the hell, Hodgins? I thought we were, you know, beard buddies?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sorry, dude, but I have worked with this woman for over 10 years and I have never, not once ever, see anyone better. And, as for the beards, when I look to you, I felt like I'm looking in a mirror and I have a hangover. You might want to, you know, clean up a bit there
Dr. Oliver Wells: I'm gonna remember this conversation when I'm the one running this thing and you are looking for a job
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In the world where that scenario exists, I won't need a job, because I will be the power forward of the Lakers


"Bones: The Eye in the Sky (#10.15)" (2015)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I know you love to invent things, Dr. Hodgins, but you do not have permission to do that here. Confine that aspect of your life to your home, please. Is that clear?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sure. Sure. So you came to tell me something?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ah, yes. We have to dig remains out of an industrial shredder.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, good! I thought it was going to be something bad!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Walking towards Hodge's lab] Dr. Hodgins, I...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Breaking glass, sirens start, lights flashes, Hodge rushes out of his lab, door automatically lock] No, no, no, no, no. Come on
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What just happened?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Huh? Oh, no, I just... I exposed a cryogenic refrigerant... I mean, this safety is being a little dramatic, it's not that toxic. Side note: I need a requisition form for another 20 Berzelius beakers
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Those are $150 a piece. I assume this experiment is for the Jeffersonian?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I mean, since my work is my life, in essence everything I do is for the Jeffersonian
Dr. Camille Saroyan: That would be a no!

Jessica Warren: I heard you broke some more beakers, Curly
Dr. Jack Hodgins: More beakers?
Jessica Warren: You broke some just 2 weeks ago
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, those were flasks
Jessica Warren: Didn't you also break some vials?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, yeah, but that was like 3 weeks ago
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You are aware that all of this comes out of your paycheck, right?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Eh, no, I was not aware
Jessica Warren: Shake it off, Curly. There is a lesson here
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, you break it, you bought it

Seeley Booth: You crack me up, bug boy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, I got to say, I'm getting a little freaked out by all the compliments.


"Bones: The Crack in the Code (#7.6)" (2012)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Look, all I'm saying is that John Wilkes Booth was secretly a member of the Knights of the Golden Circle - affiliated with Rome.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, a little friendly advice: do not mention Booth to Booth. They are related. He will shoot you.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm sure it had to be something simple. This sucks! I give up!
Angela Montenegro: Hey! If I'm burning Date Night privilges for this, you don't get to give up.

Angela Montenegro: Hold on. What about these last four digits? 5-2-9-1.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We'll figure it out. I gotta call Booth.
[Hodgins starts to leave. Then turns around]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Crappy date night.
[Hodgins kisses Angela]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Excellent crime solving.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: He thinks he's smarter than us.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: He may be right.


"Bones: The Carrot in the Kudzu (#9.18)" (2014)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What was that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's still growing! It's feeding off the remaining tissue
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I have seen this movie! It doesn't end well for humanity

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you even here, rather than an intern?
Dr. Clark Edison: Forensic conference in Buffalo.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: The interns got extra credit if they went
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah well, everyone should get extra credit for going to Buffalo!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Does that mean you can determine time of death?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well, if the body was outside since death, decomp would indicates at least six days
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, given the rate of growth of the kudzu I'd say nine
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Eight?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, deal!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I also found a mixture of limestone, clay, fly ash and gypsum
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, eh, Portland cement!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's my job to determine that, but you are absolutely right! I am thoroughly impressed!


"Bones: The Man in the Fallout Shelter (#1.9)" (2005)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I got into the decontamination shower with Zack. Haven't I been through enough hell?

Zack Addy: [about the present he made] It's a self-propelled anatomic unit.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a robot!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn, it stops; you ask it to stop, it turns. You tell it to take out the garbage, it watches re-runs of "Firefly".

Zack Addy: Krystal from accounting is after you, isn't she?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Uh, like Alien after Predator.


"Bones: The Putter in the Rough (#10.14)" (2015)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Excited] Okay. So. We couldn't get to the remains from the lower floors, so I finally get to use my super winch!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh hey, bug boy uses a new toy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm not gonna let your cold, dark heart ruin my lucky day. Alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Luck has nothing to do with it, Dr. Hodgins. But, I imagine there are easier ways to look at the remains.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, you guys are a couple of real downers. But, you're too late!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: That looks very expensive. Did I buy it?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes, yes you did, and I am very grateful! I'm sure the prosecutor will be as well.
Wendell Bray: [Wendel starts giggling]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Cam gives Wendel the serious face and he stops giggling]

Wendell Bray: Hey! You're almost finished?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Fishing in a boiling aquarium with the victims bones] Don't rush the chef when he's making a stew

Wendell Bray: Dude! You're a genius!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I've heard that before


"Bones: High Treason in the Holiday Season (#11.8)" (2015)
Seeley Booth: I suppose you're gonna broadcast everything that's in this to blow the roof off the NSA.
Jack Hodgins: No, I'm gonna give it to you. I don't think I'm qualified to decide the right thing to do with that. If anyone is... it's you.
Seeley Booth: You really trust me to know what to do with this?
Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I do
Seeley Booth: Destroy it, so nobody else gets hurt.

Camille Saroyan: Based on hypostasis, the closest we can estimate is that the body's been in the water about two to three weeks
Jack Hodgins: Actually, I think we can do better that that! I would say that the body's been in there 2 weeks, 4 days, 7 hours and 12 minutes
James Aubrey: And what bug gave you that precise a time of death?
Jack Hodgins: Timexum horologium! Wristwatch

Jack Hodgins: Our weapon was platinum sterling. That's very expensive, 99.5% silver
Camille Saroyan: Wow, even murder doesn't come cheap these days

Jack Hodgins: So we don't know who killed her and now we don't know what killed her? This is great. We're moving backwards here


"Bones: The Pinocchio in the Planter (#6.20)" (2011)
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey Pig Pen, what are you doing here?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: My own wife just rejected my call!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh! Couch time!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I don't know. Why do you think -?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. I just wanna know why you're here.

Wendell Bray: Hodgins, she did not reject you. She rejected your call.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was a pre-complete ring off - from my wife, dude. Are you really going to tell me that's nothing?
Wendell Bray: Okay, no. So what did you do?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Nothing. I-I-I make her breakfast. I tie her shoes for God's sakes.
Wendell Bray: Well there's gotta be something. Are you going to talk to her?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Of course not. She's pregnant. The hormones are running the institution.

Wendell Bray: You're a pretty strange dude as it is, but when you use words like "couth," you seem really strange.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really? Did it make you feel better?
Wendell Bray: ...Yes, it did.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Good. Can I be honest with you?
Wendell Bray: Yeah. Go for it.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, when you were going out with Angela, I once planned your murder in great detail.
Wendell Bray: Heh. I appreciate your honesty.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am... attempting to open an honest dialog between us.
Angela Montenegro: By insulting my painting?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: By stating what I think - regardless of the consequences. Now you try it. Something's obviously on your mind.
Angela Montenegro: Hodgins, we don't...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm a big boy. I can take it.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, I'm not so sure about that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow. That-that's nice. Big vote of confidence there for the man you're gonna spend the rest of your life with.


"Bones: The Man in the Mansion (#2.14)" (2007)
Caroline Julian: I already got no proof how the victim got hold of that heroin. Now you're saying I can't put Hodgins on the stand? Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't wanna know the answer to that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why doesn't she wanna know?
Caroline Julian: As the prosecutor in this case, I'm obliged to share everything I know with the defense.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just because Clarissa Bancroft and I...
Caroline Julian: Whoa! Goodnight!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I figure, a guy like you, I resign, that puts things right between us. Do we need to discuss it past that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What are we, girls?
[to the person behind the counter]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: A piece of pie for my friend.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [speaking of prosecutor and defense] Oh, they were married.
[squints look at Booth]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: They have a daughter, second year at M.I.T.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Does anyone else see the irony here?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Good job, Hodgins.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, not 'good job, Hodgins'! He might've blown the whole case!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I told him it is *not* a problem.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What happened?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I don't care what he does on his time off. But when he screws around with evidence to get in the pants of an old girlfriend on one of *my* murder cases, that's a *problem!*


"Bones: The Truth in the Myth (#6.18)" (2011)
Vincent Nigel-Murray: And you found a goat tethered to a state.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Chupacabra means goat sucker.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So for cause of death, you want me to put down - goat sucker?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Recent studies show that mothers who gain excess weight during pregnancy make their babies more prone to childhood obesity.
Angela Montenegro: Oh, that's interesting. I read a study that says that husbands who suggest their pregnant wives are fat, are far more prone to get slugged by them.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Right.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Don't sound so sad. Do you really want to live in a world where chupacabras run free?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes, I really do.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, this coming from the woman that believes the stars control our fates.
Angela Montenegro: Of course you're going to belittle astrology. You're a virgo.


"Bones: The Twist in the Twister (#7.5)" (2011)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Hodgin yawns] Is death getting dull to you, Dr. Hodgins?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, sorry. It's Michael. Apparently our baby believes that sleep is only for the weak.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So something killed him and then he got sucked up into a tornado?
Colin Fisher: Well my mom would find the happy in all this, but to me - this guy had a very bad day.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Tell him... tell him... tell him that we get points against us at daycare if we change Michael's schedule at the last minute - and if we get any more we may lose his spot.
Angela Montenegro: Wow. That's good. Are you that good when you lie to me?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: How would I know? I've never tried.
Angela Montenegro: Smart boy.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: He's tattooed? You - you - you tattooed my child?
Angela's Dad: Relax. It's a press on - for now.


"Bones: Two Bodies in the Lab (#1.15)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm doing the fecal floatation right, now.
[pauses]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, don't get to say that a lot.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Someone in the lab works for the mob. I can see it. There's not much difference between a corrupt corporate government and organized crime.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're right.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Excuse me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The only way that this could unfold...
[starts to get up and tears some of his bandages]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: ...is if someone on the inside was orchestrating things.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: People never tell me I'm right. They only say I'm crazy. Love you, man.

[Booth is crammed in the passenger seat of Hodgins' Mini Cooper]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Maybe that nurse was right to be pissed that you were leaving. You don't seem good, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, if we weren't in a toy car...

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Mae you shouldn't have had all that pudding.


"Bones: The Mutilation of the Master Manipulator (#10.9)" (2014)
Jack Hodgins: I have too many particulars. So far, I've got salmon, chicken, corn, whole wheat, flower...
Wendell Bray: Is it wrong that I'm starting to get hungry?
Jack Hodgins: Vitamin B12, yellow number 5, carrageen, antifreeze
Wendell Bray: Ugh, on second thought

Jack Hodgins: [Emptying a garbage bin] Like looking for a prize at the bottom of a cereal box
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Apparently, you and I eat different kinds of cereal
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I putting my money on the mafia. The way the body was hacked up, very organized crimey
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Your speculation is a waste of my time, agent Aubrey
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Right, we'll cancel the mafia thing for now
Jack Hodgins: [Finds a used diaper on a pizza] So much for pineapple being my least favorite topping

Jack Hodgins: Well, I guess I'm gonna just need to run the entire simulation again with more blood
[starts taking out his blood from his arm]
Angela Montenegro: Eh, what the hell are you doing?
Camille Saroyan: I second that
Jack Hodgins: I need blood. Unless one of you wants to volunteer?
Angela Montenegro: Eh no, its okay
Camille Saroyan: I pass

Angela Montenegro: By creating a high pass filter with an adjustable pixel radius, I was able to remove the low frequency details, while allowing the more in-focus high frequency details to remain
Jack Hodgins: As if I needed another reason to love you


"Bones: The Woman in the Garden (#1.13)" (2006)
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ok. Hodgins, sew it up. You're coming with us. We're going to the barrio.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Field work. Cool! Do I get a gun?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You can't arm Hodgins and not me!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What is it with you people and the guns, huh?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Typically, grave diggers are necrophiliacs looking for a little action.
Angela Montenegro: Um... ew.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come on, guys. Let's think of it as a puzzle, and there's a missing piece.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I like puzzles. I find them relaxing. I just finishted "The Anatomy Lesson" - Rembrandt.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're kidding, right?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. What do you find relaxing?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I restore vintage cars.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I know what I find relaxing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Everybody finds what you find relaxing relaxing.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Let's pretend we're Booth for a second, okay?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, let me try!
[Tosses ball in air and catches it then precedes with a Booth-like guess]


"Bones: The Couple in the Cave (#6.2)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Vaccumming their noses or what used to be their noses is fun, you know?
Angela Montenegro: You are not playing with our children without supervision.

Hannah Burley: Media is used to distract us all the time.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Quietly to Hannah] You're taking him seriously?
Hannah Burley: Michael Jackson's funeral is on 24 hours a day. And nobody finds out about the coup in Honduras. Felt fishy to me.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I love this woman.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after receiving some evidence] You know you could be my lovely assistant
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yes. But since I'm your boss. You're *my* lovely assistant.
[Cam leaves]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ah. Yeah. At least I'm lovely.

Dr. Clark Edison: You know, I feel really uncomfortable about this. We usually don't do experiments on live humans.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I know. Should be fun.


"Bones: The Verdict in the Story (#3.13)" (2008)
Angela Montenegro: [watching the defense exam evidence] I hate this. I *hate* it!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What? Strangers on our forensic platform?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ange doesn't like that we're on different sides.
Angela Montenegro: All of us together, and Brennan alone.

Angela Montenegro: If Brennan understands that we aren't crazily competitive about it, then we'll all come through this with our friendships intact.
Dr. Zack Addy: Besides, Dr. Brennan must realize that we're going to destroy them!
[everyone looks at Zack. Putting his hands on Zack's shoulders]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I will explain "crazily competitive" to Zack over and over again, until he gets it.

AUSA Caroline Julian: I'm gonna say to you what I always say to you before a trial, because this one is no different than any other trial.
Dr. Zack Addy: You never said that before.
AUSA Caroline Julian: What?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You never told us that a trial is no different from any other trial.
Dr. Zack Addy: Which suggests that this one *is* different.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Have you no control over these people?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: None whatsoever.

Caroline Julian: And what was the copper pipe made of?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: As with most copper pipes, it's made of... copper.


"Bones: The Man in the SUV (#1.2)" (2005)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [of Bones] I graduated top of my class, Rhodes scholar, the youngest member inducted into the Academy of Physical Sciences, but she still makes me feel like a cretin.
Zack Addy: She apologized to me.

Zack Addy: [of the beetles] You can't kill them. They have names.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We have to, Zack.
[grabs a handful and puts them in another jar]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Some.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In Thailand, they sautee them in peanut oil.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after ranting about the FBI] Someone here's really defensive about the FBI lately. You realize Booth is just another government stooge.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: This has nothing to do with Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth arrives and clears his throat] I don't enjoy having squints on my team any more than you like me on yours. But you know, we're *supposed* to be working together, okay?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Angela tells them she talked to Booth's girlfriend] She's *spying* for you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. No!
Zack Addy: If you have nothing in common, it's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.
[Bones glares at Zack]
Zack Addy: And we hear it's been a while.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, stop.
Angela Montenegro: He is *there* for the taking, honey.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth arrives] Okay I couldn't get his medical records.
[everyone stops and looks at Booth]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Nothing.


"Bones: The Blackout in the Blizzard (#6.16)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: There's a Global Cultures section of the Jeffersonian. There's this - this Coins of the World Exhibit. So I'll figure the composition of the shrapnel and then compare it to the coins in the exhibit.
Wendell Bray: Fantastic!
[Hodgins and Wendell do a fist bump]
Wendell Bray: And how exactly do you plan to do that without electricity?

Angela Montenegro: [after Hodgins breaks an antique plunger] Wow. Maybe you should think of a way to get electricity that doesn't involve rare historical items worth upwards of $50,000.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. I'll just blame Wendell.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: What if you had gotten hurt in this blizzard?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wait a minute. You're mad becausee you're worried about our safety? Wow. Thank you.
Wendell Bray: That was the last of our dye.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, now I kind of wished you had gotten hurt.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: You hear that something has a one in a thousand chance or one in 10,000.
[Hodgins sobs]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: But I guess it's like the lottery, right? Someone always wins, you know?
Angela Montenegro: [Entering] That sounds like good news.
[Hodgins faces Angela. Pause]
Wendell Bray: I'll give you the room.


"Bones: The Lance to the Heart (#10.2)" (2014)
Angela Montenegro: I just wished that we'd never have uncovered this whole conspiracy
Dr. Jack Hodgins: But we did. And if we're going to put an end to it, we need to destroy its central nervous system
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The conspiracy is not an sentient life form, Dr. Hodgins
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I disagree. It's grown the same way any living organism grows
Dr. Clark Edison: Then how do you suggest to break down this organism to give us the leader?

Angela Montenegro: This is like a...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Like a eukaryote phagotrophic bacterivore
Angela Montenegro: I have no idea what that is, but you've been right so far, so yeah

Angela Montenegro: So, using your theory, which is actually Dr. Gerald Karp's cell theory, the conspiracy is taken the shape of living, growing organism
Dr. Jack Hodgins: God, I love you!
Angela Montenegro: Well, you can love me later

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, in 1944 the US Army used wire recorders such as this to record fake information to confuse German spies
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr. Hodgins, please tell me you put in a proper requisition for this and didn't steal from the exhibit
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Your signature gave me blanket approval for all our requisitions. Thank you again


"Bones: The He in the She (#4.6)" (2008)
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Can I ask you something?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Is there *any* way to say "no?"

Dr. Camille 'Cam' Saroyan: We'll show these images to Dr. Brennan.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Why?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: She'll see something you missed.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after Vincent greets Angela suggestively] Are you familar with the phrase "that's way too much car for you"?
Vincent Nigel-Murray: I believe that's one of ours, so yes.
Angela Montenegro: [to Hodgins] I want to show you something.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: [suggestively] And I want to show *you* something.
Angela Montenegro: [annoyed] Vroom-vroom, kid. You're already in my rearview mirror.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Does Brennan put "Mister" in front of your name?
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Yes.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor.
Dr. Camille 'Cam' Saroyan: Don't tell him that!


"Bones: The Cowboy in the Contest (#11.9)" (2015)
Jack Hodgins: Well, I'll say one thing about the victim: at least he died with his boots on

Jack Hodgins: Okay, is there anything about this guy that doesn't scream "cowboy"?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. How about the fact that he's an accountant?
Jack Hodgins: Uh
Angela Montenegro: [Showing pictures on the screen] Stanley Belridge, 34. He's not exactly a cowboy
Camille Saroyan: No. So, why does it look like he was killed at the O.K. Corral?

Angela Montenegro: Which leads me to the next item: Christine and Hank will be staying with us, over the weekend
Jack Hodgins: That's great. I mean, Hank sleeps through the night now, right?
Angela Montenegro: Uh, no, I don't think so. Just consider it practice
Jack Hodgins: Practice? For what?
[Angela sneaked out his office]
Jack Hodgins: Angela?

Jack Hodgins: [Walks in Angela's office, seeing her behind her laptop] Wow, you were the least squinty of all of us, you're literally sitting here squinting


"Bones: The Skull in the Sculpture (#4.7)" (2008)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, now what we want to do here is remove the skull very carefully.
[Daisy reaches for the skull]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Carefully.
[Daisy accidentally crushes the skull]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: ...I can't believe you did that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Bummer.
Daisy Wick: Usually when you say "we" you mean me! I'm so sorry. I'll put it together. I will stay up all night!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'll do it.
Daisy Wick: Well I will assist you every step of the way. I will never leave your side!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I would prefer to do it alone.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's going on?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sweets is firing Daisy for us.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We're wondering what his method will be.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He'll explain to her logically that this environment is not conducive for either her or us and, as a scientist, she'll realize that he's right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, Sweets is a lot sneakier than that. He'll use some kind of psychological Jedi mind trick to make her think it was her idea to quit.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?
Daisy Wick: The bad first.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're toast here. Nobody wants to work with you.
Daisy Wick: Why?
Dr. Lance Sweets: You know why, Daisy. There are some things that you have to work on when it comes to interpersonal relations.
Daisy Wick: Does anybody like me?
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, I'm afraid not.
Daisy Wick: What's the good news?
Dr. Lance Sweets: There's absolutely no reason for us to be discreet about our relationship anymore.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Smiling big as he enters Cam's office carrying a large machine] You know what this is?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: The Jaws of Life.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Completely impressed with the machine as he hoists it up on to his hip, the open jaws jutting upward] Twenty-three thousand pounds per square inch of raw, prying power.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You really wanna be the one to use that, don't you?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's not displaced sexual frustration.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Of course not.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am totally cool if Angela wants to date already... er, I mean, again.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Angela and Daisy as he is preparing to use the Jaws of Life] Stand back, ladies. This is about to get medieval.
Caroline Julian: [as Hodgins is approaching the crushed metal] Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Sorry, cheri. Apparently, this is an historic piece of art.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a hard car shell with a gooey corpse filling.


"Bones: The Killer in the Concrete (#2.18)" (2007)
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to the Phone] Yes. This is Dr. Brennan at the Jeffersonian. I just received a call from Agent Booth that he's being held at
[motions to Angela for some papers]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: the Purdue Airfield in Oakville, Virginia. Send back up. I'm going in.
[hangs up the receiver]
Angela Montenegro: You just lied your ass off to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
[Bones ignores the comment and leaves]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That is so hot.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, time to step out of your comfort zones, people.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What comfort zone?

Dr. Zack Addy: We suck at interpretation.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We absolutely blow.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: These are Gallagher's tax returns. We are looking for the purchase of any machine that can be used for anodization.
Angela Montenegro: What, like a copier, or...?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, that's so cute. But, no.


"Bones: The Girl with the Curl (#2.7)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [When they realize that the small female body - a little girl's - they're examining was wearing make-up that would make her look sexy] What is she? A midget stripper?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't you have work to do?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Don't you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right, Right.

Angela Montenegro: Childhood should be all about swings.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Swings?
Angela Montenegro: You know how high can I go, if I twist the chains how fast will I spin.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Or if I try and jump off before the swing stops.
Angela Montenegro: Exactly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I miss that feeling.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah me too.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I miss organic chemistry class, those were good times.
Zack Addy: I miss my first microscope.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Great, yeah and I miss normal people can we go on?


"Bones: The Proof in the Pudding (#5.12)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What was all that about?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, well, what makes Cam crazy?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: When I do experiments.
Angela Montenegro: And?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Michelle?
Angela Montenegro: Michelle.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ooo. 16. Ouch.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Angela] I'm your guy. I love you. I love you and I want to help you in whatever way I can. If - if you want to move in together. If - if you want to get married. I'm here for you, and the baby, in whatever role you need. Okay?

Angela Montenegro: [after Booth has incapacitated the GSA Agents,] Oh my God.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Man, you Butch Cassidy'd 'em.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That was totally ninja. May be some anger issues there, but you kicked ass!


"Bones: The Woman in the Car (#1.11)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to State Department agent who's running a security review on the squints] I know things that would curdle your blood, including a formula that literally curdles blood.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [as Pickering starts walking away from him] What was the finding?
[Pickering turns around]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I still work here so...
Agent Pickering: Harmless.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [sounding indignant] Harmless? I'm harmless?
Agent Pickering: Yes. You do not pose a viable threat.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, that's just - insulting.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're looking for an abandoned gas station or mechanic shop, off the grid.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you guys are geniuses. Mm!
Zack Addy: How do we find that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Work for the F.B.I., you idiot.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Way to go, Zack. We went from geniuses to idiots in three seconds.


"Bones: The Body in the Bag (#6.10)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Dr. Edison] You need to stop back seat combing before I tweeze your eyes out.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So about the NSA...
Dr. Clark Edison: Never gonna happen Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, but...
Dr. Clark Edison: It was a summer job.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: But...
Dr. Clark Edison: Can't sorry.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [about Dr. Edison] It's totally weird, right? And he was in the NSA so he could be totally messing with us.
Angela Montenegro: Or just turning into a normal guy.
[Angela chuckles]
Angela Montenegro: Don't get all paranoid on us.


"Bones: The Man in the Bear (#1.4)" (2005)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Human flesh tastes like frogs legs.
Angela Montenegro: As if I need another reason never to eat frogs.

Zack Addy: I saw a documentary once where a bear got in a car and drove away.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That was not a documentary. It was a cartoon.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Angela, if we were a Peruvian soccer team and crashed in the Andes, who would you rather eat? Me or Zack?


"Bones: The Lost Love in the Foreign Land (#10.6)" (2014)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, she had to have lived someplace where she could have inhaled bat guano. *Man*, excrement is our friend on this one. Okay, if I cross reference bat caves...
[Stops, smiling]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I actually just said bat caves.

Angela Montenegro: Hey. You almost ready?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Uhhh... almost.
Angela Montenegro: Okay. Do you think that that... can wait until tomorrow?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I guess. Is something wrong?
Angela Montenegro: No, I just... I just wanna go home and... give Michael Vincent a hug.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Then this can definitely wait until tomorrow.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: She loved Sung so much that she walked through the snow and over the mountains to get here to be with him. That's how she lost her toes. They were so close to finding each other...
Angela Montenegro: [Holding her tears] Okay, don't make me cry, honey, I'm working


"Bones: The Bodies in the Book (#2.15)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do you know how tight a rat's rectum is?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So our suspects agreed to kill for each other, so they'd each have an alibi?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So all I need from you people is some proof, okay?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, oh, is - is *that* all?

Angela Montenegro: [Referring to the rat that swallowed a bullet] Can't we just wait until nature take its course?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do you have any idea how tight a rat's rectum is?
Angela Montenegro: Please tell me you don't.


"Bones: The Knight on the Grid (#3.8)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Look. "Pater mortuus."
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It means "dead father."
Dr. Jack Hodgins: *You* know Latin? Dude!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Altar boy.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: You got a key?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [holds up crow bar] Yeah, brought my own.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Can I do it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. You don't let me play with your bugs.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm totally into the Gormogon file. And it's my opinion you're looking for a duo.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: How did you get the file?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Booth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Upset, she turns to Booth] You gave him the case file?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Time out, okay? He came up with the whole duo thing.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We found another widow's son skeleton. This one's complete.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Begrudgingly] The teeth marks suggest... two cannibals.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Really. That's awesome! It's like the Sith lords, man. There's always only two of them.


"Bones: The Dentist in the Ditch (#5.13)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You okay there, Dr. Saryoran?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah. I'm just itchy all over. I'm going to go burn all these clothes, maybe my hair.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, next time someone says your brain is a jumble of disconnected chaos, you just send them to me.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: [Vincent chuckles. Slight pause] People say that?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. So are we all, except for Angela.
Angela Montenegro: Oh right. Yet who do you turn to when you need pretty pictures.


"Bones: The Bond in the Boot (#5.2)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wendell, my man, we still on for lunch?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You are discussing lunch while holding a tray of cat excrament.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Everybody poops. They even wrote a book about it.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Do you believe James Bond killed our victim?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well no, but come on. There was more than a grain of truth in those James Bond films.
Angela Montenegro: Pussy Galore? That's never gonna happen.
Wendell Bray: Well we can alway hope.
Angela Montenegro: Boys and their spy fantasies.

Angela Montenegro: I hate to break it to you, Jack. But you're the guy who studies bugs, slime and poop. Hardly assasination worthy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, a lot of people would like to see me dead.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not going to touch that one.


"Bones: The Pain in the Heart (#3.15)" (2008)
Dr. Zack Addy: Dr. Saroyan, regarding the denure medium, if we recreate the process...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It could tell us a lot about Gormogon's resources.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If you want to do one of your experiments, just say it.
Dr. Jack Hodgins, Dr. Zack Addy: We want to do one of our experiments.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Since when did I become the assistant?
Dr. Zack Addy: Since I became the uncontested King of the Lab.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Booth is standing at a lab table, staring] Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey Bones, I'm thinking here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thinking about what, exactly?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene, but we need to access it to investigate the crime.
Angela Montenegro: A "cake and eat it too" situation.
Dr. Zack Addy: Is it a cake or a pickle?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's Schrödinger's Cat.
Dr. Zack Addy: *That* I understand. Cakes and pickles meant nothing to me.


"Bones: The Shallow in the Deep (#6.6)" (2010)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is my "What the Hell are you talking about" look.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a waterproof marine epoxy.
[Cam points to her face]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Glue.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why would the victim have glue in his bones?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, that's exactly what's got me stumped.

Angela Montenegro: Yeah, but he was somebody's baby too. And I want our baby to know that. Oh wow. I sound like a crazy woman, don't I?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Actually, you're sounding like a mom.
Angela Montenegro: Oh crap. Already?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yep.
Angela Montenegro: I should take that sandwich.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [During a re-enactment] But Claire, she's got rage on her side.
Daisy Wick: And I *shove* him overboard.
[Throws Hodgins over the rail]
Angela Montenegro: Hey!
[Cam and Angela look over the side. They see Hodgins on a pile of cushions]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Don't worry. We thought this through.


"Bones: The Daredevil in the Mold (#6.13)" (2011)
Angela Montenegro: You're getting that mad scientist look in your eyes
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I always wanted to be a mad scientist. Living the dream baby.
[Kisses Angela]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Living the dream.
[Kisses Angela's belly]

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm listening to mold steaks and you're listening to... you can't hear me anymore.
Colin Fisher: Hmm.
[Loudly]
Colin Fisher: Have you identified the mold?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You can't hear me, so I can say whatever I want you morose bastard.
Colin Fisher: [Fisher gives him 2 thumbs up] I can read lips.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Bed bugs? That's more good news?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah.
Colin Fisher: Tracking bed bug outbreaks. There's an app for that.


"Bones: Intern in the Incinerator (#3.6)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: The offices. It's always the suits, baby.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, I wear suits.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes, yes you do.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, that's it. No shooting of the squints tonight. Sorry!

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after telling Hodgins that Cam's sister kissed him] This is worse than when we were a couple.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [chuckling] I'm sorry.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: I really should take my gun out and shoot you.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm sorry, man. I know it's serious
[chuckles again]
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're not helping.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I never liked Kyle Auldridge.
Dr. Zack Addy: He told me once that having a high IQ was no excuse not to bathe.
Angela Montenegro: I don't believe it.
Dr. Zack Addy: No, those we're his exact words, 'no excuse not to bathe'.


"Bones: The Baker in the Bits (#10.13)" (2015)
Camille Saroyan: [Investigating the remains] Well, remind me never to get blown up
Jack Hodgins: It was against OSHA regulations to detonate after dark
Arastoo Vaziri: Small comfort to our friend here

Jack Hodgins: I found residue of polyethylene on the triclithat injuries
Angela Montenegro: So, the victim was bound with zip ties
Jack Hodgins: Yeah, exactly! So, that got me thinking...
Angela Montenegro: Oh! No, no! I'm not doing that again!
Jack Hodgins: What? No, no, no! That's not what I was suggesting. Oh, but we can talk about that later
Angela Montenegro: Way later!

Jack Hodgins: Four victims, one location! Does that make this a mass murderer or a serial killer?


"Bones: The Murder in the Middle East (#10.19)" (2015)
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I used to work surveillance.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Domestic surveillance? I was just startin' to like you.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Whatever it takes to keep you safe.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Pointing to a map] Cam told us that Arastoo was taken from this ice-cream shop, Jasmine and Rose
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I just want to say, Persians make a great pistachio, it's creamy
[Angela and Hodge frown at him]
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: not relevant

Angela Montenegro: So, now listen. They took 3 flights of stairs, or 36 steps
[Angela plays the sound]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: The question is: are they going up or down?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Up. Footsteps aren't loud, which means they're using the balls of their feet rather than their heels, which occurs on descending
Angela Montenegro: Wow, it's very impressive!


"Bones: The Recluse in the Recliner (#9.24)" (2014)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd posit that the chipped teeth suggest that a tube or funnel was forced down the victim's throat.
Colin Fisher: To fill him up with alcohol. Bastard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I beg your pardon?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fisher's just starting to realize that murderers are bad.

Seeley Booth: Oh, wow! Oh! That's our victim?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, well, what's left of him
Seeley Booth: He exploded
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I mean, I got to say that's not a good way to lose weight
Seeley Booth: Save it for Squint Nite at the Improv, okay, bug boy?

Colin Fisher: I just can't believe that this much ugliness can exists in this world
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You're just realizing that now?
Colin Fisher: No, I always expect the worst, but my new therapist, she showed me how wonderful life could be. That makes this even more horrible!


"Bones: The Girl in the Mask (#4.22)" (2009)
Dr. Lance Sweets: [speaking of Dr. Tanaka] Uh, you people can identify human remains from a tiny little finger bone. But you can't identify the sex of the person standing right in front of you? Does nobody else see the irony in this?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Of course. But as a scientist, I also see the challenge.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why would someone cut off the head of a body here.
[Points to one point on map]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And drive miles away to dispose of it here?
[Pointing to another point on the map]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I rarely find motive in bird vomit.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I rarely find motive in bird vomit.


"Bones: The Princess and the Pear (#4.14)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Found some shoes in the closet. Soles contain insect, soil, blood.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: You want our lab to analyze it or yours?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I'd like you see you try to get these away from me now - figuratively speaking of course.
[Hodgins starts to walk away]
Special Agent Payton Perotta: Anything else, Dr. Hodgins?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In some ways, you're just like Booth. I meant that as a compliment.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: I don't think you do.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Picking up the sword] Whoa ho ho! Excalibur!
[Hodgins lifts the sword]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am the once-and-future king!
Angela Montenegro: Way to not be creepy.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Hodgins, are you trying to help someone? Because that's not your character.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Way I see it, Fisher's like a deep cover agent. He infiltrated teh enemy to uncover secrets. In order to do so, he had to suffer a night of passion with a beautiful but dangerous enemy
Colin Fisher: You have no idea how dangerous.


"Bones: The Signs in the Silence (#6.21)" (2011)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm really impressed - that you are staying focused with everything that's happening with you and Angela.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: People have kids all the time.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, I meant what happened today.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What? What happened today?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Nothing - just - a little contraction. Dr. Brennan told me.
[Hodgins starts to leave]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I assumed you...
[Hodgins walks out the door]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: ...knew.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh God!
Angela Montenegro: Oh don't worry. It's nothing.
[Angela experiences another contaction]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, that's definitely something. Oh my God! Go my God! Okay, uh BABY! Uh okay, Baby. Okay, , okay. BABY!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Helping Angela out of their car] Ready?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: One... Two... Three.
[Straining]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh my god! You are so - beautiful.
Angela Montenegro: Nice save.


"Bones: The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken (#5.6)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Referring to a scout troop] What I want to know is why they're not all freaked out and getting trauma counselling?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because they're the type of children who idolize Dr. Brennan.

Wendell Bray: Look, man, the trouble with getting your info from conspiracy nuts, they never know when to turn it off.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, you wait and see. We're gonna find out our victim was tortured a little to enthusiastically and then the government tried to bring him back to life.
Wendell Bray: Proving my point, Hodgins. Totally proving my point.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: DARPA created a chicken soldier?
Wendell Bray: I do not see the United States military making chicken soldiers. Eagle, maybe.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That's why we couldn't find his so-called fingers. Cuz they were transformed into talons.
[Makes claw like motions with his hands]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I mean, talons would be much better weapons.
[Wendell makes talon like gestures with his hands]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Human remains in water tend to lose all their fingers and toes due to predation.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If I were going to combine animal and human DNA with an eye toward creating a super soldier, I'd go with a flatworm.
Wendell Bray: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Self regeneration. Obviously.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Let's break this down as though we aren't in a comic book.


"Bones: The Senator in the Street Sweeper (#11.6)" (2015)
Jessica Warren: I mean, this body is seriously frakked up
Angela Montenegro: "Frakked up"?
Jack Hodgins: Jessica has been binge-watching BSG 2003
Camille Saroyan: Not to sound like Dr. Brennan, but I don't know what that means
Jessica Warren: BSG: Battlestar Galactica. What? You haven't seen it? Wow! I'm surprised, 'cause it's totally old school, just like you...
[Angela and Cam frown]
Jessica Warren: and also frakking enlightening
Jack Hodgins: "Frak" is the curse word they use on the show. But what's really frakking interesting is that Aubrey told me he'd been watching Battleship as well
Jessica Warren: Well, that's because we're watching together
Angela Montenegro: Oh, well, that is definitely interesting. Sounds to me there's a little something going on between you and Aubrey
Jessica Warren: Yes, television watching and nothing else
Jack Hodgins: Me thinks this lady protests too much

Camille Saroyan: Good news is, at a minimum, I'll be able to run a tox screen and check for his last meal, 'cause the stomach is...
[drops the stomach]
Camille Saroyan: more or less intact
Jack Hodgins: I'd say less, not more

Jack Hodgins: [Looking at a surveillance tape] Pixelation is terrible! Like an '80s video game
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, and here comes Donkey Kong


"Bones: Mummy in the Maze (#3.5)" (2007)
Angela Montenegro: Just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What are you, Canadian?

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Now listen, boys. The Jeffersonian Halloween party? It's compulsory. Donors, patrons, angels, benefactors. So, we all show up in costume and do our duty. I don't want any argument on this.
Dr. Zack Addy: I will be the back end of a cow.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: So... no costume.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [the team, all dressed for Halloween, is trying to narrow down the location of the latest victim in time to save her] Megan Shaw is still alive.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What do you want me to do?
Dr. Zack Addy: [Referring to Booth] He wants us to guess.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, my guess is Hawaii.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Not Hawaii.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, guess again. But better.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. I'm sorry.
Angela Montenegro: Booth. They... don't guess.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, who's they?
Dr. Camille Saroyan, Angela Montenegro: [Pointing to Bones, Hodgins and Zack] Them.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, that's just stupid.
Dr. Zack Addy: [Emphatically] We do *not* guess.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? You're a horse's ass.
Dr. Zack Addy: Cow. I'm a cow. See my udder?


"Bones: Harbingers in a Fountain (#5.1)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: OH, I'm happy personally and professionally. You know unsolved murders have gone up a thousand percent since you left.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find that hard to believe.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Rough estimate. Welcome back!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Isn't this great? Us, back together again. Chasing criminals.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Pit full of mass murder victims. What's not to love.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: And that ladies, *that* is why they call me "King of the Lab."
Angela Montenegro: Nobody does that but you.


"Bones: The Babe in the Bar (#6.7)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: But we have to melt the chocolate in order to get any information from the bones.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Yeah. But first we can cut out these sections until we discover a way to extract the gas trapped in the bubbles.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Excellent. Do it. Mr. Nigel-Murray if I didn't have any self-control I would kiss you.
[Cam leaves]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: ...No interesting facts off that?
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Yeah, yeah. In fact, the-the satisfaction that human beings take from fantasizing is - is directly related - No. I don't. No facts.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Done. I sifted through all 1873 gallons of it. Nothing but the usual: ant torsos, spider legs, rodent hairs.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Whoa. That's the usual?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. FDA permits 60 insect fragments, and 1 rodent tail per 100 grams.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Lovely.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I thought she wasn't applying to any other schools except - Oh. Oh! You're writing Michelle's - Oh that's bad. That's - that's just wrong!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No Dr. Hodgins, that is being a mother. And I assume I can trust your discretion.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Of course - Mom.


"Bones: The Titan on the Track (#2.1)" (2006)
Lisa Supac: [after advising Dr. Brennan and the rest of the team the Turko will only get 10 years for his involvement in the train crash] It's 10 years or nothing. I can only work with what I'm given, and the forensic work on this was not good enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Lisa Supac: You were fooled by fake dental records, you baked some spam.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What did you want us to do?
Lisa Supac: Your jobs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supek, you want us to do your job. My people gave you all the evidence you need to fry Turko with any reasonable jury.
Lisa Supac: Forensically...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We gave you everything you needed to arrest Turko.
Lisa Supac: Arrest is not a conviction.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We definitely gave you enough to reject his plea bargain and indict him in the wrongful death of a Senator.
Lisa Supac: Indictment is not a conviction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You accept that plea bargain and the investigation stops.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Indict him. Give us time to get you what you need.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If you accept this plea bargain, you don't deserve to be a Federal Prosecutor.
Lisa Supac: Dr. Saroyan!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, it's scary. The whole country'll be watching the trial and you don't want to go in with less than a sure thing. But you put my people on the stand as expert witnesses and that's a sure thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Dr. Jack Hodgins, Angela Montenegro: [together] Not Zack.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You can tell the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided, and if you any ability as a prosecutor you'll win the case.
Lisa Supac: Are you finished?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supeck. In the future when you have problems with my team, you'll register them with me, in private, not by grand standing in a public forum.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Brennan trying to cheer her up about not being named Goodman's replacement, and Cam was] You're not a flesh-pressing, ink-stained, policy-making wank-tard.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Hodgins knows Cam overheard the "wank-tard" comment, and starts babbling] You're chattering me to death because you hope I'll forget that you called me a wank-tard.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [chastened] It's a made up word--no meaning.


"Bones: The Man in the Mud (#3.10)" (2008)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Can you estimate the amount of force?
Dr. Zack Addy: In the back of the head, length undetermined. A width of 3.8 centimeters; approximately a thousand pounds of force.
Angela Montenegro: So a lot.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [like it is no big deal] Half a ton.
Angela Montenegro: Which is a lot.
Dr. Zack Addy: That actually isn't very much.
Angela Montenegro: All right; now I'm back in a physics class I want to ditch.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [to Zack and Hodgins] So. We haven't eliminated anyone from our list of suspects. Plus, we don't know what that's a cross-section of, and we don't know what caused the damage to the front of the face. What, exactly, made you two come in here crowing "King of the Lab"?
[Hodgins and Zack look at each other sheepishly, then Hodgins points at Zack]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm gonna go back and look at very small things under my very large microscope.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey! Check this drain for blood.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [On Booth's cell phone] Blood suspended in toluene might be testable for DNA.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tell Hodgins he did a good job.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'll tell Hodgins he did a good job if-
[He sees that a light shining on the drain reveals blood]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm waiting...


"Bones: The Big Beef at the Royal Diner (#10.16)" (2015)
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: [At a crime scene, picking up a piece of food with a pen] I bet this was delicious once.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Aubrey. Don't eat that.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, this neighborhood is horrible, isn't it?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Eh, yeah! So why the smile, Doc?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In the field! Gives me a rush. It's like I'm taking my life into my own hands
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Well, not sure you're taking your life in your hands. I mean, I'm armed, there are cops here
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just saying I'm not intimidated! Booth knows that
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: That's why he said: "you take him, Aubrey, I'll stay here"
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Exactly

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Cam who is fleeing from Chili's smelly Spicemobile] Sounds good! Smell you later


"Bones: The Method in the Madness (#8.5)" (2012)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after checking inside a large bag he found inside a dumpster] Yeah. Gutsy stuff.
[Hands the bag to Cam. She takes the bag, but the bottom splits and the contents fall onto the ground]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa! There's a leak. No guts, no glory.

Angela Montenegro: [Sickened by the sight of the female remains in the lab] Okay. Just... *please* tell me that this poor thing was dead before any of... this... happened.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm sure she was.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Definitely.
Angela Montenegro: Great.
[Leaves for her office]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Fisher] Hodgins and Cam are lying to Angela to spare her feelings.
Colin Fisher: [mock whisper] Yeah, I got that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because we have not in any way ascertained if the victim was dead or alive when she was flayed to the bone.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We have ascertained, actually, acute liver hemorrhaging suggests that the victim was still alive when she was eviscerated. So, I out and out lied to Angela.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [sincerely] Thank you for that.

Angela Montenegro: Okay. So, this program will search for wrinkles, freckles, other microscopic facial features on each piece, pick up the pattern and pair it with the corresponding piece.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Very Frankenstein-y.


"Bones: The Purging of the Pundit (#10.3)" (2014)
Angela Montenegro: Okay, when I eliminate the college graduates I'm left with a list of 45 names
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Enters] Oh, we can get that number down, 'cause the King has arrived
Dr. Camille Saroyan: King of the Lab? Isn't that a little passé?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Let me see the tooth? Looks like there's some kind of trace on it. Yeah, there's, like, an accumulation of textile fibers
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Lint. It's simpler to say lint
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Right


"Bones: Stargazer in a Puddle (#2.21)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, it occurred to me that you might have a traditional... you're Texan. I mean *really* Texan, guitars and hot rods Texan. So I figured I should ask you for your daughter's hand in marriage as a sign of respect.
Angela's Dad: You're making a huge mistake, son.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Marrying Angela?
Angela's Dad: No. If Angie finds out that a man - you - asked another man - me - for her hand or any other of her fine parts, horrible complications will ensue.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I didn't think of that.
Angela's Dad: You could get us both killed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, good advice. Got anymore?
Angela's Dad: Always play it in the key of G demolished.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I don't know what that means.
Angela's Dad: Well, if you do, you do; if you don't, you don't. Forget it.
[Hodgins moves to leave]
Angela's Dad: Hodgins, I've got cars, and I've got guitars and I've got guns. You treat my little girl right and you'll only see the business end of the cars and guitars.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, if there's no bachelor party, what do you want me to do?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Stand there, make a toast, hand over the ring, tongue kiss the maid of honor at the reception when people clink glasses.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nice. Okay, who's the maid of honor?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No idea, but most of Angela's friends are really hot.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm the maid of honor.


"Bones: The Woman in White (#9.6)" (2013)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fabric-wise it looks like the victim died in the 70's
Dr. Jack Hodgins: 1979 to be precise
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's impossible to know at this stage
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, it's not. A cicada was caught in her sleeve. They only emerge once every 17 years, meaning our victim was killed in 1979. Or I guess 1945, or 1962, 1996.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, we get the point! 1979 it is

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Maybe that acid-free sleeve she was carrying did contain something important, like the letter that Nixon wrote confirming the presence of aliens!


"Bones: The Feet on the Beach (#6.17)" (2011)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Michelle gets accepted to Columbia from Cam's application] You have something about this?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Angela says no... But this is a disapproving look.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Does it mean anything that it's all moot? Michelle is determined to go to Community College in outer Mongolia to be with her boyfriend.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Filmore] You're in America now. It's okay to get *pissed* at Dr. B. She can take it.


"Bones: The Beaver in the Otter (#4.23)" (2009)
Arastoo Vaziri: Why did you ask everyone to leave. Are we doing something shameful?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. It's just... last time I dropped something from up there, it bounced and hit An
[realizes his about to mention Angela by name]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: innocent bystander. But no one's here this time.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah I got that during the part where you said no seven times in a row.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I find that you don't pay attention to the first six.


"Bones: The Memories in the Shallow Grave (#7.1)" (2011)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So you're more intimidated by Dr. Brennan even though I run this lab.
Wendell Bray: No. When you take Dr. Brennan and add pregnant, huh? No. You are the top Senior Field and I am much more intimidated by you.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Nice save.

Wendell Bray: She's having that baby so that the next generation will have someone to make them feel dumb.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Seriously.


"Bones: The Hole in the Heart (#6.22)" (2011)
Dr. Lance Sweets: Dr. Brennan has been known to retreat into hyper rationalism in times of emotional turmoil which could very well result in
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, even *I* want to slap you now.

Angela Montenegro: I mean, is this about Vincent?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Yes.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.
[Angela starts to leave]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And... I got into bed with Booth last night.
[Long pause]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why aren't you saying anything?
Angela Montenegro: Because I don't want to yell "Hallelujah" so close to losing Vincent.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think I did it because of Vincent.
Angela Montenegro: Wait. Whoa.
[Angela gasps]
Angela Montenegro: What exactly happened after - after you crawled into bed with Booth?
[Bones smiles. Hodgins enters]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I got the GC mass specs on the bullet that killed Vincent.
Angela Montenegro: HONEY, no! Not right now! I'm sorry. I love you but go tell Cam. GO... Away... AWAY!


"Bones: The Nazi on the Honeymoon (#9.7)" (2013)
Angela Montenegro: [On video conference] Hey, how is the honeymoon going?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Very well, thank you. We've been enjoying sex very much
Angela Montenegro: Good, good, I am glad you're taking some time off! Don't worry about Christine either by the way. Her an Michael Vincent are getting along great
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you for taking care of her, Angela
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, anything to help you take a vacation...
[Bones walks away from the camera]
Angela Montenegro: in what looks like a morgue?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is Dr. Letitia Perez, the coroner here at the Buenos Aires morgue. She'll be assisting me in this investigation
Angela Montenegro: [to the camera] Hi, hi, it's nice to meet you!
[Turns away]
Angela Montenegro: HELP!
Dr. Leticia Perez: I am not assisting Dr. Brennan, she is consulting for me
Angela Montenegro: Hm, good luck with that!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What's going on?
Angela Montenegro: Look at this!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr Brennan, you're on your honeymoon! Why are you in a morgue?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That's not romantic!

Angela Montenegro: Hey, I finally got Christina to sleep
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, this is just so unbelievable? I mean, put one kid down, the other one starts crying. This... this is not babysitting; it's a sleep deprivation study!
Angela Montenegro: Maybe it was something they ate?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We had the same spaghettios and we're not crying!


"Bones: The Life in the Light (#10.21)" (2015)
Angela Montenegro: Hey. Hey. My real name is Angela Montenegro.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Is that right? Okay. Then who is Pookie Noodlin?
Angela Montenegro: You know what? Don't say that name out loud here.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, Dr. B. How's everything at home?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fine. Why do you ask?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Listen, Christine can always come over and hang out with Michael Vincent. I know how hard this is
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You've never been separated from your child, so that statement is false


"Bones: The Last Shot at a Second Chance (#11.14)" (2016)
Camille Saroyan: [Walks in, just when Angela and Hodge are quarreling] Eh, sorry! I'll come back
Jack Hodgins: No! No! Cam, your timing is perfect
Camille Saroyan: Sure?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, we, uh, we're fine. We're done talking or whatever you want to call what we were just doing

Jack Hodgins: And if I can't find an alternative?
Temperance Brennan: You have to! To survive
Jack Hodgins: You make a faulty assumption, Dr. Brennan. Survival doesn't necessarily mean living


"Bones: The Doom in the Boom (#11.10)" (2015)
Seeley Booth: How about Aubrey?
Jack Hodgins: I... I saw them rushing him into surgery. It didn't look good. He pulled me out of the way. He used his body as a shield to protect me. Aubrey saved my life!

Arastoo Vaziri: [Cam just picked up her phone] Seems a bit unlike Cam to take a personal call in the middle of a case like this
Jack Hodgins: Uh, it's probably just Sebastian
Arastoo Vaziri: Who's Sebastian?
Jack Hodgins: Hmm?
Arastoo Vaziri: Hodgins! Who's Sebastian?
Jack Hodgins: [Realizes Cam hasn't told anything yet] He's... no one! He's just a guy... who exists... in reality
Arastoo Vaziri: Are he and Cam dating?
Jack Hodgins: [Nervous laughter] What? Why would you...? I mean... How would I... what makes you think...? Yeah


"Bones: Pilot (#1.1)" (2005)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In a nutshell; anxious, depressed and nauseous.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Take a sick day.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Not me, Cleo Eller...

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Brennan] You really think I'm lusty?
[Brennan looks confused]
Angela Montenegro: The book.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, no, no. You're not in the book.
Zack Addy: Sure he is. We all are.


"Bones: The Monster in the Closet (#11.13)" (2016)
Camille Saroyan: Well, and the way she's dressed is really dated, this pleated skirt, the shoes...
Jack Hodgins: So, not just a murder victim, but fashion victim as well
Temperance Brennan: Hodgins! That was uncalled for. I must insisti you show respect to the deceased
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, don't hold your breath! These days he's not respectful to the living, so I'm not sure why the dead would be any different
Jack Hodgins: Well, for one thing, she doesn't talk back
Camille Saroyan: Enough! You hear me?

Jack Hodgins: [Wheels in] Hey!
Angela Montenegro: Oh God! Sorry, I... I, eh, I didn't see you there
Jack Hodgins: I though you'd be used by now to looking down on me by now
Angela Montenegro: I don't look down on you, Hodgins. It's, it's not fair


"Bones: The Cinderella in the Cardboard (#4.19)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after getting the remains off the cardboard] Okay perfect.
Wendell Bray: Now that's something I'd serve. Ha!... If she were a pizza, which she's not... So-so I'll stop now.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is that your reason? Because weren't you and Angela sexually compatible?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [pause] It's not about the sex. I was looking for a meaningful connection.
Angela Montenegro: I get it Jack.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You do?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.


"Bones: Fire in the Ice (#4.12)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'll get on the fluid samples you took from the lungs and the esophagus. Could be the vic was drowned somewhere else and dumped in the lake.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No. Drowning's not the way that Booth would kill someone.
[Hodgins and Wendell stare at Cam]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Not... that I... actually... suspect Booth... at all... Quit staring at me.

Special Agent Payton Perotta: Hmmm. My people were right.
Dr. Camille Saroyan, Caroline Julian: YOUR people?
Dr. Jack Hodgins, Wendell Bray: We're Booth's people.


"Bones: The Glowing Bones in 'The Old Stone House' (#2.20)" (2007)
Dr. Zack Addy: What am I always the murder victim?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sit!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [chuckles] Zack's always the murder victim.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [as Zack and Hodgins are enacting a scenario] Oh, okay, look, we know that Ben had sex with Carly in the backseat of that car. But you didn't find any evidence of rape.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So the sex they had was consensual.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [rising up from his chair] *This* part will be left up to the imagination.


"Bones: The Killer in the Crosshairs (#6.15)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I actually have a question for you.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh great. Shoot. Probably not a term I should use during a murder investigation, huh?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Right. Anyway, Angela's father...
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh God!
Angela Montenegro: What?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Now look, you can - you can attack me with dogs, okay? You can burn me with a branding iron. Hell, you can make me listen to a musical. I don't care! But we are not naming our child Staccato Mamba.
Angela's Dad: You know what your doing here, right?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You have a child named Staccato Mamba. We'll have Michael Joseph if it's a boy or Katherine Temperance if it's a girl.


"Bones: The Lost in the Found (#10.17)" (2015)
Jack Hodgins: [In the lab, seeing Bones getting an idea] What? What spark just went off in your big brain?
Temperance Brennan: We've been diluting ourselves! I noticed earlier there's a distinct lack of injuries to the victim's left arm! There are no corresponding fractures to those in the right scapula and glenohumeral joint, which I would expect to see!
Daisy Wick: And why is that delusional?
Temperance Brennan: Based on the handwriting in Molly's diary, we know that she was left-handed
[and Bones rushes out of the lab]
Jack Hodgins: W... wait! You say that as though it explains everything but...
[Bones is too far to hear]
Daisy Wick: I guess we should be used to this by now

Jack Hodgins: Well, this is Hermetia illuc...
Seeley Booth: Stop, bug boy. I don't need the Latin.
Jack Hodgins: Fresh from hatching. They just ate for exactly four days.
Seeley Booth: Four days. Why can't you just say four days?


"Bones: The Critic in the Cabernet (#4.24)" (2009)
Colin Fisher: Oh my God. I can clean them... This is weird. Something good has happened.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Take a deep breath. I'm sure it'll pass.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after Brennan says she wants a baby] Is there a father?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I'd like to use Booth's sperm.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Booth. What do you know?


"Bones: The High in the Low (#9.20)" (2014)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just in time to open the presents
[lifts half a tree trunk, revealing the body , covered in bugs]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, whoa, very cool!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really? Seriously? I mean: don't you guys very get revolted by this stuff? I mean come on! Look at him, he's folded in half like an omelet!

Wendell Bray: You're use pen and paper to remove the termites?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Pretty cool, huh?
Wendell Bray: What you're gonna do? Write "No Termites Allowed"?


"Bones: The Teacher in the Books (#10.12)" (2015)
James Aubrey: Buried in a pile of books of the self-help section is definitely not the way I want to go out
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find this quite tragic
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, death is a tragedy
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I'm not talking about the victim! I'm referring to the fact that this is what's left of the bookstore
Camille Saroyan: Oh, I know! I used to send hours in places like this, thumbing through page after page looking for the perfect read
Jack Hodgins: Yeah, that fresh new book smell. Oh man, an e-book doesn't have it
James Aubrey: Yeah, who doesn't like huffing through books?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Guys, I suppose you all wanted to back to riding a horse to work

Camille Saroyan: [after a long deduction about what might have happened] Why couldn't all these tests just give the name and address of the killer?
Jack Hodgins: Yeah


"Bones: The Wannabe in the Weeds (#3.14)" (2008)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hodgins. You are the guitar player. Zack, you are Tommy.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Re-enactment. Facinating.
Dr. Zack Addy: Not for me. I'm always the one that gets killed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Dude, you're the singer. Singer was the vic.

Dr. Jason Bergman: I have nothing to do with clay.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, no? You're totally in the clear.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey! You can't say that! This is *my* place.


"Bones: The Girl in the Fridge (#1.8)" (2005)
Zack Addy: [about Bones and Michael's relationship] Well, if she was his student and I'm her student...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: NO, Zack!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Watching Brennan and Dr. Stires talking] It's like watching cars made.


"Bones: The Verdict in the Victims (#10.18)" (2015)
Jack Hodgins: So, we found the victim in a barrel of ammonia inside the facility
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Eh, ammonia is one of the chemicals they use to purify water. Also good for dissolving tissue when used in a high enough concentration
Jack Hodgins: Wow! I could make you an honorary squint!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I gotta get back into the plant. There's gotta be evidence in there that needs to be secured
Jack Hodgins: We'll take care of it. Guys, you don't understand. One false move in there, one mistake, and any moisture on your body could react with the ammonia and burn you from the inside out."
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'll stay out here. No problems. Don't have the suit, gonna stay right here, right?


"Bones: The Ghost in the Killer (#9.12)" (2014)
Angela Montenegro: I never knew you sailed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I was a rich kid, ya know? We had to sail and have at least one girlfriend named Muffy. It's in the charter.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, do that thing were you figure out where that stuff comes from
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You're so lucky I know what you mean!


"Bones: The Double Death of the Dearly Departed (#4.21)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [giving a toast at the wake] This is a sad day for all of us, but I think it's important that we remember what we loved about Hank, you know? His sense of humor, of course. He was always quick with a joke, good or bad. Usually bad. But he-
[notices Booth and Bones stealing the body]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, my God! Uuuuh-oh, my God, Hank. Ah- Hank is- Hank-Hank is-He's leaving us. Where is he going from here? Who knows?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fugu!
Dr. Lance Sweets: That's really not very nice.
[leaves, insulted]


"Bones: The Secret in the Service (#11.17)" (2016)
James Aubrey: I understand we have a witness?
Camille Saroyan: Not really, he was pretty intoxicated. He claims he was hit by a pair of matching masked assailants, who swung matching shovels at the exact same time
James Aubrey: So, he was seeing double, right?
Jack Hodgins: You're talking about our witless witness?

Dr. Colin Fisher: Dr. Hodgins, greeting and salutation
Jack Hodgins: No way, Fisher! What are you doing here?
Dr. Colin Fisher: Consulting for the Secret Service, leading in Dr. Brennan's absence. Typical man in action stuff
Jack Hodgins: Wow
Dr. Colin Fisher: I see Angela wasn't joking about you being paralyzed
Jack Hodgins: Eh, no, no, not... not a joke. Just a lot of pain, misery and self-loathing
Dr. Colin Fisher: Feelings in which I am very well versed
Jack Hodgins: I do remember


"Bones: The Turn in the Urn (#9.19)" (2014)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: This retort is a treasure trove of charred tissue that should have been vaporized if the furnace was running properly.
Finn Abernathy: It reminds me of the oven I used to use at Arnie's Pizza and Wings.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, except here the cheesy-looking bits are flesh and the pepperoni is charred muscle.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And people ask me how I stay so thin.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, well, assumptions, they can always obscure the truth!


"Bones: The Fact in the Fiction (#8.17)" (2013)
Dr. Oliver Wells: [Examining the remains] Lack of cut marks on the gonial angle of the mandible, underside of the chin and cervical vertebrae leave me no reason to suspect that this skull was removed by anything other than the coyotes.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Soooo, not a zombie.

Dr. Oliver Wells: The first law of thermo dynamics states that energy is neither create nor destroyed. So, when we die, all that energy has to go somewhere, right? I believe that if we die with an abundance of this power, it can become forever imprinted on the immediate environment.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: And that imprint? That's our ghost?
Dr. Oliver Wells: Mm-hmmm.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Bones] Can we keep him?


"Bones: A Boy in a Tree (#1.3)" (2005)
Zack Addy: I didn't talk to anybody in high school. I didn't kill myself.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That wasn't high school. It was an experimental eugenics program.

Zack Addy: [about a bad date] I can't ride a bike or drive a car...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: ...or, apparently, please a woman.


"Bones: The Ghost in the Machine (#8.9)" (2012)
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, what do you think? Man or a woman?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I... am uncomfortable defining sex with just a skull.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: C'mon. Take a stab. I won't write anything down. I promise. It's between me and you.
[They both glance at Hodgins standing next to them]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh. Well.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What? You don't wanna take a stab in front of me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I am inhibited by my desire not to embarrass myself in front of another scientist.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Hodgins] You should take that as a compliment.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Indicating Booth] What about him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, we live together and thus share the same synergistic lack of inhibition which allows us to have sex without being self-conscious.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's very romantic, Bones.

Angela Montenegro: Avalon's a psychic, Hodgins. She's not in control of what she hears.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You can say that again.


"Bones: Boy in the Time Capsule (#3.7)" (2007)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Roger Dillon had a pocket watch full of cocaine?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's so 'Miami Vice' I could roll up my sleeves.

Angela Montenegro: [removing contents from the time capsule] One year book-Foothill High, 1987.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [checking list of contents] Check; dehydrate and scan.
Angela Montenegro: [reading year book] "Have a great summer, don't ever change." Remember those days?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I remember getting grounded every weekend, so many rules to break, so little time.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You were a nerd fantasy.
Angela Montenegro: I was all about Barbie.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: She was my first anatomy lesson, I was confused for years.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What about Ken, I felt so sorry for him.


"Bones: The End in the Beginning (#4.25)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: People say you only live once, but people are as wrong about that as they are about everything. In the darkest moments before dawn a woman returns to her bed. What life is she leading? Is it the same life the woman was leading an hour ago? a day ago? a year ago? Who is this man? Do they lead seprate lives or is it a single life shared? A storm approaches. It is still over the horizon, but there is lightning in the air. Are either of them aware of the gathering turbulence? Can they feel the crackle of electricity in the wind, or are they aware of only the power that they generate between themselves? The first hint of this storm is not a thunderclap... it is a knock.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: When you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That's the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly.


"Bones: The Body and the Bounty (#6.4)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I never thought of using paint stir sticks in place of ribs.
Professor Bunsen Jude: Many common household items mimic the properties of human body parts. Like cantaloupe melons, pudding.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm not gonna ask about the pudding.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Looking at Jude's experiment] Oh good Lord.
Professor Bunsen Jude: [Entering] I think I'm on to something.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa! You made a bazooka?
Professor Bunsen Jude: If you mean potato bazooka, then yes.


"Bones: The Goop on the Girl (#5.10)" (2009)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Your analysis of the emulsion bomb included detergent.
Angela Montenegro: You didn't actually get permission to recreate the bomb, did you?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh my God!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I needed to do this so that Angela could recreate the explosion.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [to Angela] You told him that?
Angela Montenegro: Don't let him turn this around on me.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I do not want an explosive device in my lab!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Relax. I did not hook up the initiator.
[Jack connects some wires on the device]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: NO!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It is perfectly safe.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Where's your chest hair?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm very evolved.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: His pubic extension is actually well within norms...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Enough.


"Bones: The Conspiracy in the Corpse (#10.1)" (2014)
Dr. Clark Edison: So, who is this?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I can't believe you got a judge who grant you an exhumation order
Caroline Julian: Apparently there are still one or two judges who haven't been blackmailed yet

Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's nice talking conspiracy without being called a loon


"Bones: The Plain in the Prodigy (#5.3)" (2009)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: When do teenagers start having sex?
Angela Montenegro: Hello!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: If they could, they'd start in the morning and go until they drop.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Sweets is playing with Levi's stones] What are you doing?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Playing the theme to Titanic.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Even not hearing it, I hate that song.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Not the way I play it.


"Bones: Big in the Philippines (#9.13)" (2014)
Wendell Bray: The heart-shaped pelvic inlet suggests the gender, so...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I don't think we need bones to let us know that the victim was a male
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We have no other way, Dr. Saroyan
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I think we do
Angela Montenegro: That mangled piece of meat is his...?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah!
Wendell Bray: Breaking my arm seem like nothing now


"Bones: The Maiden in the Mushrooms (#8.21)" (2013)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Yelling across the lab after Finn about recreating his grandmother's hot sauce] I am gonna burn the crap outta your mouth, and you are gonna love it!


"Bones: The Master in the Slop (#9.14)" (2014)
Angela Montenegro: Hey good news! Cam got a call from Science Monthly. They announced this year's Outstanding Women of Science award!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why did they call Cam? Why didn't they just call me directly?
Angela Montenegro: Because Cam is getting the award, Sweetie!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, that's great!
Dr. Douglas Filmore: I am very happy for her!
Angela Montenegro: And you're happy for her too, Brennan! Very happy, because she's your friend
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes! Just the descriptor is "Outstanding"


"Bones: The Girl in the Gator (#2.13)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins, Angela and Cam are talking about an adult website that the victim was on and Hodgins has been to] What? I clicked on a pop-up and got caught in a Pornado.


"Bones: The Superhero in the Alley (#1.12)" (2006)
Zack Addy: [about the victim] Epiphyseal union with the diaphysis on the wrists, knees and ankles suggests the was between 14 and 18 years old. 1.6 meters tall, a very slight build suggesting that he was at the younger end of the scale.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That tracks with the bag. The degraded cellulose we found is a graphic novel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a comic book.
Zack Addy: I never read comic books.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really? Oh, I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut.
Zack Addy: The face and cranial vault are badly fractured. Blows to the parietal have sent radiating fracture lines between the mid-frontal and anterior temple buttresses.
[to Hodgins]
Zack Addy: Why?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica...


"Bones: The Nail in the Coffin (#9.22)" (2014)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: The body separated from the head during decomp
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It fell on a family that was camping. I have a feeling they're gonna be staying in hotels from now on


"Bones: The Geek in the Guck (#10.4)" (2014)
Angela Montenegro: [Walking into Hodge, who is about to drop a dummy into a small pool in the lab] I'm sorry, what is going on here, Hodgins?
Jack Hodgins: Hey! Well, I have harnessed these chock cords to the ground, using dichromatic hooks lifted by an anchor pully
Jessica Warren: We built a human slingshot
Jack Hodgins: Yes! To figure out how far the body dropped into the river
Angela Montenegro: Okay. Eh, we could have used the Angelatron for that
Jessica Warren: It wouldn't have been as accurate
Angela Montenegro: Excuse me?
Jessica Warren: Eh... tell her! Tell her why
Jack Hodgins: Yeah, oh, uhm, right. So, so here's why. So, I... I took a sample of the Potomac River, you know, from where the body was found and I... I had to recreate the viscosity, the temperature as well as particulate matter in order to try...
Angela Montenegro: I could've entered those variables
Jack Hodgins: Sweet wife, please let a man have his toys
[Angela sighs]


"Bones: The Bone That Blew (#4.10)" (2008)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Citric acid?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's my considered belief that Agent Booth spilled Orange Juice in his tie.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [chuckling] I look forward to him explaining that to a jury.


"Bones: The Man in the Wall (#1.6)" (2005)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: How many times do you want me to poke Zack?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Just once, but as hard as you can.
Zack Addy: As hard as he *can*? Why don't I hit him as hard as *I* can?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because you have arms like noodles, while I'm vigorous and burly.
[pokes Zack with the cane]
Zack Addy: That all you got, burly boy?


"Bones: The Finder (#6.19)" (2011)
Walter Sherman: Are you rich?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey! Where did that come from?
Walter Sherman: On a scale of 1 to 10 - she's an 11.
Angela Montenegro: Well, thank you, Mr. Sherman.
Walter Sherman: Yet, you're a 7. So if you're rich. It just explains the discrepancy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really.


"Bones: The Woman in the Whirlpool (#10.20)" (2015)
Jack Hodgins: It always seemed like Booth and Brennan were so, I don't know, so solid, you know? That nothing was ever going to tear them apart... Do you think it's this? What we do? Is it eating away at all of us?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Yeah, maybe it is.


"Bones: The Death in the Defense (#11.11)" (2016)
Jack Hodgins: [In his wheelchair using a video connection to Wendell who is doing Hodge's fieldwork] Wendell, you got this!
Wendell Bray: Hey, Hodgins! King of the Lab!
Jack Hodgins: [Reluctant] Yeah, King of the Lab


"Bones: The Twisted Bones in the Melted Truck (#6.8)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You shot me!
Daisy Wick: Well, technically no. The bullet is in the back stop. You were struck by the bullet casing because we failed to account for Newton's Third Law of Motion: "For every action there is an-"
Dr. Jack Hodgins: "Equal and opposite reaction." NOW CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME A FIRST-AIDE KIT?


"Bones: The Mastodon in the Room (#6.1)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Entering] Wow. What is with this scuzzy Hell hole? And where's my office?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You see that table over there? That's your office. And you have to share.


"Bones: The Fight in the Fixer (#11.15)" (2016)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, I found fresh duck feces on the tread of the victim's shoe.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I trust you're telling me this for a reason other than to make me say yuck.


"Bones: The Blonde in the Game (#2.4)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hi, Angela. You look *great* today.
Angela Montenegro: Thanks, Hodgie. This is my boho, rocker, artist, mid-week, take-a-deep-breath-and-pout look.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: "Hodgie?"


"Bones: The Next in the Last (#10.22)" (2015)
Camille Saroyan: Dr. Hodgins! What are you doing?
Jack Hodgins: [Next to a giant machine] Hey! I borrowed this puppy from the Manhattan project exhibit
Angela Montenegro: Eh, Hodgins, please tell me you're not building a bomb


"Bones: Death in the Saddle (#3.3)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Zack] You suck the fun out of every moment of personal triumph!


"Bones: The Boneless Bride in the River (#2.16)" (2007)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [as Hodgins and Zack are inflating a head] This is - it's absolutely -
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Brilliant?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Useless! You need the exact shape of a skull to get a likeness. Not just a - This - Turn that off!
[Angela walks in]
Angela Montenegro: Oh my God! You guys are perverse!


"Bones: The Patriot in Purgatory (#8.6)" (2012)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I can't imagine the pain he must've been in.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I can't believe he died with no one knowing what he did.


"Bones: The Santa in the Slush (#3.9)" (2007)
Angela Montenegro: You know, this is our first Christmas as a couple.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Aww, too bad Santa's dead.


"Bones: The Bones That Weren't (#6.5)" (2010)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Hodgins, would you come over here and be a corpse?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: ...Yeah.
Angela Montenegro: Sweeting, you do mean pretend to be a corpse, right? Because the way you're holding that knife, you're looking a little slashery.


"Bones: The Devil in the Details (#5.14)" (2010)
Arastoo Vaziri: [after Hodgins accidentally hits himself with nunchakus] As I was saying, nunchakus are deceptively difficult to maneuver, if you've had no practice... May I?
[Hodgins hands him the nunchakus]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. Knock yourself out. I did.


"Bones: The Promise in the Palace (#11.7)" (2015)
Dr. Clark Edison: The ribs appear to have received multiple fractures, uh, from the impact of the bicycle
Jack Hodgins: Well, yeah. I mean 170 pound biker, 25 pound bike, factor in the rate of acceleration and... come on, it's your basic high school physics problem
James Aubrey: Not my high school


"Bones: The Hot Dog in the Competition (#7.2)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Opie, you're like the little brother I never had.
Finn Abernathy: Much obliged, Thurston.


"Bones: The Repo Man in the Septic Tank (#9.17)" (2014)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, good job there, brother!
Rodolfo Fuentes: I couldn't have done that without all the support I get here
Angela Montenegro: Part of that is the way you look


"Bones: The Man in the Cell (#2.12)" (2007)
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I am walking out of here. You try to stop me again, I will shoot both of you.
Zack Addy: [Typing on computer and finds information Booth needs] Mmmmm...
Jack Hodgins: What?
Zack Addy: I really need him to come back.
Jack Hodgins: Booth!
[Looks at Zack]
Jack Hodgins: Whatever you got better be worth dying for.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Walks slowly back in and shifts his jacket to show his gun]
Zack Addy: [a bit fearfully] Uh... there's a Parker & Parker Leather Goods owned by the Park brothers on Parker Street in the town of Parker just outside of Arlington. That's a lot of parkers.


"Bones: The Puzzler in the Pit (#10.8)" (2014)
Daisy Wick: [Holding her child for the very first time] He's beautiful
Temperance Brennan: Absolutely perfect
Angela Montenegro: You did it
Daisy Wick: He looks like Lance, doesn't he? I mean, I'm not imaging that, am I?
Camille Saroyan: No! No, he really does
Jack Hodgins: What's his name?
Daisy Wick: Lance insisted that his first name be Seeley. So he's Seeley Lance Wick-Sweets.
[to Booth]
Daisy Wick: Do you want to be the first to hold him? Lance would want you to be the first
Seeley Booth: Pff, yeah
[takes over the baby]
Seeley Booth: Hey! Hey, there little buddy How are you? Look at that, your whole family came out to meet you. Hey little buddy. Listen, I knew your dad


"Bones: The Past in the Present (#7.13)" (2012)
Wendell Bray: Wolves killed him, but they didn't murder him.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Right. So, Pelant fools his ankle monitor into thinking that he's at home. He lures our victim out of the loony bin, drugs him and then leaves him for the wolves.
Wendell Bray: One thing I learned from Dr. Brennan. Gather evidence and follow it without bias.


"Bones: The Male in the Mail (#7.4)" (2011)
Dr. Clark Edison: Okay, this is ridiculous, Dr. Hodgins. Do you think our killer used a thousand year old battle axe?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, a good scientist never assumes anything. Would you like to do the honors?
Dr. Clark Edison: All right.
[Clark uses the battle axe]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Nope.
Dr. Clark Edison: What else do you have?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Scimitar.
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh yeah. That'll do.


"Bones: The Partners in the Divorce (#8.2)" (2012)
Finn Abernathy: [Examining one of the victim's wounds] What is that? Gold?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Looks like a...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [In awe and getting more excited as he speaks] Fleur de lis. The sign of the Priory of Scion, a secret society that defies papal authority.
Angela Montenegro: Honey, honey. That's the nib of a fountain pen.
Finn Abernathy: He was stabbed in the neck with a fountain pen?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, or assassinated by the pope!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Or stabbed in the neck with a fountain pen.


"Bones: Spaceman in a Crater (#2.19)" (2007)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: This guy's wearing loafers. Aliens don't wear loafers.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Even if they want to pass unnoticed amongst us?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Before taking over?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: This is harassment. You know, it's illegal to mock people for their fundamental beliefs.


"Bones: The Carpals in the Coy-Wolves (#11.4)" (2015)
Jack Hodgins: [Investigating the victims remains at the crime scene] There's no blowfly larvae, which means the victim died within the last 24 hours
Seeley Booth: [Looking around] Interesting
Jack Hodgins: Interesting? Really? The blowflies? Because...
Seeley Booth: No! Not the bugs!


"Bones: The Yanks in the U.K.: Parts 1 and 2 (#4.1)" (2008)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Arrives at work after having ended up sleeping with Angela's ex] Sorry I'm late, what did I miss?
Dr. Clark Edison: [Irritated that Angela and Jack seem more interested in planning their honeymoon than concentrating on work] Oh, were deciding between Maine and Jamaica for the wedding.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Did Angela's ex get off okay?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Flinches] Whoa! Sorry?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Not realising the double meaning of his own question] You took him to the airport?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, "off"! Of... of course. Yes. He's off... and gone. All gone.
Angela Montenegro: Great. Thank you for doing that.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Anytime.
[Takes a breath of relief]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Either Maine or Jamaica, you really can't go wrong.
[Awkward pause]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I should... Bye.
[Hurries away]


"Bones: The Gunk in the Garage (#8.3)" (2012)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We are utilizing this shock tube to recreate the effects the blast had on the victim's bones.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Where did you get that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, Hodgins requisitioned it from the Hall of Patents.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Requisitioned?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I left a note.


"Bones: The Strike in the Chord (#11.16)" (2016)
Sammy Mills: I can't believe I'm finally an intern at the Jeffersonian
Jack Hodgins: I know, right? I haven't been prouder since Michal Vincent correctly identified a Coccinella Septempuctata
[Ms. Mills frowns surprised]
Jack Hodgins: The ladybug
Sammy Mills: Oh!


"Bones: The Fury in the Jury (#9.9)" (2013)
Angela Montenegro: Oh my God! Barnes and Kidman must have had some kind of falling out! Or maybe he just couldn't live with himself. Or maybe he was having a fling with the sister!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Possible that you're watching this trial more as a sexy soap opera rather than the administration of justice?
[Angela frowns at him]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Right, of course not, now what was I thinking? I'm gonna go...
Angela Montenegro: Play with your bugs?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah


"Bones: The Boy with the Answer (#5.21)" (2010)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: All of our evidence has been thrown out. The rational thing to do is to pursue a case with fresh untainted evidence.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is it really that easy for you? To forget what happened to us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I will *never* forget what happened to us! Or to Booth - or this boy! You are not the only suffering, Dr. Hodgins. But your emtions have no revelance, not if we want to convict Taffet.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: This better work.


"Bones: The Final Chapter: The Brain in the Bot (#12.2)" (2017)
Jack Hodgins: It's as mysterious as Dr. B's birthday party.
Camille Saroyan: Oh! Speaking of which, I know it's a surprise. But, can you give us a hint on the dress code?
Temperance Brennan: Yes! *Wearing* clothes would be visible.


"Bones: The Woman at the Airport (#1.10)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You wanted to see me?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are a very difficult and stubborn man, Dr. Hodgins. Right now I'd like nothing more than to fire you. In my position very few people tell me the truth anymore. I find I enjoy it, in some perverse way.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You're willing to admit you bailed on the authentication?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Yes.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Seriously?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: But not for the reasons you think. True, we might be able to authenticate the skeleton by taking him apart, destroying him. If he's a fake that will be fine, nothing lost. But I think he's the real thing.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You do know he's been dead for fifteen hundred years, right?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: I am an archaeologist. This is what we do. We step outside the facts and tell ourselves the story of an individual or a culture. And if the story I tell myself about this man who lived fifteen hundred years ago is true, if he was laid to rest by people who respected and loved him, don't I owe it to them not to let the pure scientists desecrate his remains?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Or you could be totally rational and say you were waiting for imaging technology to improve to the point where it wasn't necessary to disassemble him.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Ah, yes. I suppose I could say that. It's less, uh...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sentimental - for the pure scientists.
[they shake hands]


"Bones: The Maggots in the Meathead (#6.3)" (2010)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Catching bugs] Pilphia casei. More commonly known as "cheese skippers." Under certain circumstances they jump up, they grab their butts with their mouths.
Colin Fisher: I met a guy at the hospital that could do that.


"Bones: The Priest in the Churchyard (#2.17)" (2007)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after testing Father Matt for poison] The good news is we know how to make you feel a lot better.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Bad news is someone is trying to kill you.


"Bones: The Baby in the Bough (#3.12)" (2008)
Angela Montenegro: [holding the baby] Get used to it. I want like a million of these.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Cool.
[Angela walks away]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What do you think she meant by a million? Two?


"Bones: The Con Man in the Meth Lab (#4.8)" (2008)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You said you didn't want to work with us anymore.
Dr. Clark Edison: No. I said my preferred work style tends towards the professional. See my tie? That's an indicator.
Angela Montenegro: Mmhmm. So why'd you come back then?
Dr. Clark Edison: Because this is the finest forensic facility in the world.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You want to fight MIGs you fly MIG alley, right?


"Bones: The Bullet in the Brain (#6.11)" (2011)
Angela Montenegro: That's taking it a little far, don't you think?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: A gift basket?
Angela Montenegro: Your attitude. You're suggesting that you'd reward a killer for killing.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In this case, I would. I'd drive him to Mexico... Angie, Heather Taffet buried me alive. What do you want me to say?
Angela Montenegro: I get your point.


"Bones: The Boy in the Shroud (#2.3)" (2006)
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Since Kelly Morris has confessed...
Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan: No. She didn't do it.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What evidence do you have of that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: How about this? Specimen 268 - "right corner of the room" schematic.
Angela Montenegro: You are good.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Flirtatiously] Oh, you have no idea.
[Angela and Hodgins smile at each other]
Zack Addy: Are you having a moment?
[Hodgins glares at Zack]


"Bones: The Doctor in the Photo (#6.9)" (2010)
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did the opiates get into the tree?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr. Brennan?... It's good to get an insight into the victim, but I'm not certain that this line of inquiry leads directly to her murderer.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I... I feel like it will.
Angela Montenegro: Okay. It's a little weird that you said that, Sweetie. But it's good.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Quietly to Angela] Good? If I said something like that she'd rip my head off.


"Bones: The 200th in the 10th (#10.10)" (2014)
Jack Hodgins: I wouldn't have been able to give this beautiful artist the victim's description without his daughter's visionary help
Angela Montenegro: You really think I'm beautiful, Doc?
Jack Hodgins: The Golden Ratio is hard to argue with, Miss Montenegro


"Bones: The Headless Witch in the Woods (#2.10)" (2006)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What's with the music?
Angela Montenegro: It helps to muffle the screams so I don't pass out every few seconds.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Smart.


"Bones: The Donor in the Drink (#11.3)" (2015)
Angela Montenegro: Hey, you wanted to show me something?
Jack Hodgins: Guess what I found in the trout tank?
Angela Montenegro: Something only you could love?


"Bones: The Crank in the Shaft (#4.5)" (2008)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. You are not gonna believe this.
Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, try toppin' death by office supplies.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I was wrackin' my brain over the trace analysis from the sweater. Phlofurol proteolythic enzyme, tryoral methane dye...
Agent Seeley Booth: Hodgins. Hodgins. Hodgins. Eyes are glazing over.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a Blue Hawaiian.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's a Blue Hawaiian?
Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it's a potent cocktail. Two of those puppies and you're asking yourself, hey, why am I naked and who are all these people?


"Bones: The Movie in the Making (#11.18)" (2016)
Camille Saroyan: So what does that mean, the victim was beaten with a fish?
Jack Hodgins: No. Seriously?


"Bones: The Graft in the Girl (#1.20)" (2006)
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Today, Zac. I need something *today*!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, don't harass my assistant.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That's right. That's our job.


"Bones: A Night at the Bones Museum (#5.5)" (2009)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: The urine of a red headed boy.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We need *so* much more that that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: From the swab of Dr. Kaswell's eye.
Angela Montenegro: A red headed boy peed on her eye?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, not exactly.


"Bones: The Salt in the Wounds (#4.16)" (2009)
Angela Montenegro: So this, right now, this isn't together?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was a moment, a great moment. But all great moments pass.


"Bones: The Soldier on the Grave (#1.21)" (2006)
Jack Hodgins: Were you really mad before?
Angela Montenegro: Why? Because of your strident, paranoid ramblings?
Jack Hodgins: I'm guessing mad. Fair enough. Can I at least give you some material to read?
Angela Montenegro: You could try, but you'd walk funny for a week.


"Bones: The Stiff in the Cliff (#11.20)" (2016)
Jack Hodgins: Really makes you rethink deli meat.
Wendell Bray: And I'm officially never eating again


"Bones: The Finger in the Nest (#4.3)" (2008)
Dr. Lance Sweets: ...for now, temporarily, I'm satisfied with your coping technique.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: My... coping technique... of -hate-?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Correct!


"Bones: The Man with the Bone (#1.18)" (2006)
Special Agent Seeley Booth, Dr. Jack Hodgins: [in unison] Pirates!


"Bones: The Prince in the Plastic (#7.3)" (2011)
Dr. Jack Hodgins: The prince's leg is burned.
Daisy Wick: Burned? First drawn and quartered and then *burned*! What kind animal could do such a thing?


"Bones: A Boy in a Bush (#1.5)" (2005)
Dr. Daniel Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are going.
[places name tag in Dr. Hodgins' pocket]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: When we arrive, the donors will all be wearing name tags.
Zack Addy: What do we talk about?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Your work, of course.
Angela Montenegro: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: And how do you see your job?
Angela Montenegro: [sighs] I draw death masks.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?
Angela Montenegro: Don't you?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces, their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.
[Angela hugs Dr. Goodman]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened?
Zack Addy: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.