Miguel Alvarez
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Quotes for
Miguel Alvarez (Character)
from "Oz" (1997)

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"Oz: Straight Life (#1.5)" (1997)
Donald Groves: [gives Alvarez a stamp] Here.
Miguel Alvarez: I don't wanna write anybody a fucking letter. I wanna get fucking high.
Donald Groves: You lick the back. It's liquid LSD.
Miguel Alvarez: Groves, this gives stamp collecting a whole new meaning, baby.

"Oz: Cuts Like a Knife (#4.12)" (2001)
Enrique Morales: Miguel, Miguel! Where you been?
Miguel Alvarez: I was kissing the warden's ass.
Enrique Morales: That's funny.
Miguel Alvarez: Not as funny as you think. You know he wants me to rat on you. He says if I don't give him any inside info on drugs and shit, I'm gonna be put in Solitary again. So, I've been thinking, you know, maybe I could be like a double agent, right? I just give him the information you want him to have, you know?
Enrique Morales: That's a brilliant idea.
Miguel Alvarez: Think so?
Enrique Morales: Except for the fact that there ain't no information I want Glynn to have.
Miguel Alvarez: Misinformation.
Enrique Morales: You tell him stuff that turns out not to be true, how long's he gonna trust you? No, my friend. If I were you, and I'm glad I'm not, I'd prepare for the inevitable - spending the next fifty years all by your lonesome.

"Oz: Visits, Conjugal and Otherwise (#1.2)" (1997)
Father Ray Mukada: According to this file you're about to be a father. You've got a girlfriend, Maritza, she's an inmate at Parker Women's.
Miguel Alvarez: Yeah, we got arrested together. Ain't that sweet?.

"Oz: Exeunt Omnes (#6.8)" (2003)
Miguel Alvarez: I'm so tired. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the walls. The lies. The fear. The death. I'm so tired.

"Oz: 4giveness (#6.5)" (2003)
[in his will, Cutler left everything to Miguel Alvarez]
Vern Schillinger: I'm gonna suggest this now, Alvarez. Or I'll find a way to make it happen later. You sign over all of Cutler's stuff to his widow.
Miguel Alvarez: I already thought about that.
James Robson: Don't think, spic! DO!
Miguel Alvarez: You know, maybe I should just sign all his assets over to *you*, Roby. Seeing as how you already gave him *yo' ass*.
[Miguel walks away]
James Robson: Cunt!

"Oz: Unnatural Disasters (#3.4)" (1999)
[In Oz's boxing tournament, Alvarez got beaten by a gay opponent]
Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: Yo, Alvarez! Nice fight!
Miguel Alvarez: Shut the fuck up!
Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: What you gonna do, motherfucker? Hit me with your purse?

"Oz: Dream a Little Dream of Me (#5.3)" (2002)
[Penders and Alvarez are training seeing eye dogs]
Alicia Hinden: Okay, you see the steaks?
Greg Penders: We gonna teach the dogs how to cook?
Alicia Hinden: No, we're going to teach them restraint. I'm going to put them on the floor, and you're going to stop them from eating it.
Miguel Alvarez: All right.
Greg Penders: You gotta be kidding me.
Alicia Hinden: What?
Greg Penders: I haven't seen a steak in six years. Now, you're gonna throw it on the floor so a DOG won't eat it?

"Oz: Strange Bedfellows (#2.6)" (1998)
Officer Diane Whittlesey: Raoul Hernandez, Miguel Alvarez.
Miguel Alvarez: El Cid, it's an honor, man.
Raoul 'El Cid' Hernandez: You Latino?
Miguel Alvarez: Si.
Raoul 'El Cid' Hernandez: They lied to you. You too fucking white to be a Latino. Get the fuck outta my face.

"Oz: Ancient Tribes (#2.2)" (1998)
Vern Schillinger: Godammit, you fucking spic cocksucker!
Miguel Alvarez: See? That's the Schillinger I know and love.