Daniel Desario
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Quotes for
Daniel Desario (Character)
from "Freaks and Geeks" (1999)

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"Freaks and Geeks: I'm with the Band (#1.6)" (1999)
Nick Andopolis: Alright, three o'clock today.
Daniel Desario: Nah, I gotta do something with The Kim at three.
Ken Miller: Ahhhh, how 'bout 3:01?
Daniel Desario: How about 3:15 'cause I gotta fit in your mother.
Ken Miller: ...You wanna sleep with my mom?
Daniel Desario: Mhm.

Nick Andopolis: The Ramones? They only use, like, three chords!
Daniel Desario: I'll learn another one, then.

Daniel Desario: I wrote out some Ramones songs.
Nick Andopolis: The Ramones? They only use like three chords.
Daniel Desario: So? I'll learn another one.

"Freaks and Geeks: Beers and Weirs (#1.2)" (1999)
Daniel Desario: Wow. That designated driver's pretty hot. I'd like to get her drunk.

Daniel Desario: That designated driver's pretty hot. I'd like to get her drunk.

"Freaks and Geeks: The Garage Door (#1.12)" (2000)
Kim Kelly: [watching the marching band practice] Check out the pizza-face dork with the trombone! Why doesn't he just pop those things?
Daniel Desario: I think if he did, he'd die of blood loss.

Daniel Desario: [to Ken] You're in love with Tuba Girl?

"Freaks and Geeks: Pilot (#1.1)" (1999)
Daniel Desario: You guys know Lindsay?
Nick Andopolis: Yeah, you were in my English class last year. You were the chick that got an A, right?
Lindsay Weir: Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?
Ken Miller: I don't know. What are you gonna do?

"Freaks and Geeks: Discos and Dragons (#1.18)" (2000)
Daniel Desario: Greetings Princess. It is I, Carlos the Dwarf. The dragon has been slain and you're free to rule your kingdom.

"Freaks and Geeks: Tricks and Treats (#1.3)" (1999)
[Kim Kelly cranks up the car stereo]
Daniel Desario: Will you knock it off, Blondie, you're gonna blow the speakers.
Kim Kelly: Oh I'm sorry Grandpa, I'll try not to blow anything of yours from now on.

"Freaks and Geeks: Looks and Books (#1.11)" (2000)
Daniel Desario: What do you make of me?
Harris Trinsky: Excuse me?
Daniel Desario: [sigh] Well, if someone asked you, "What do you think of Daniel Desario?" What would you say? Would you say he's a loser?
Harris Trinsky: No. No, you're not a loser, 'cause you have sex. But, if you weren't having sex, we could definitely debate the issue.

"Freaks and Geeks: Noshing and Moshing (#1.15)" (2000)
Daniel Desario: What, so it's my fault that you left your stuff in my car?
Kim Kelly: No, it's your fault that you're the most unreliable person ever.
Daniel Desario: Well, you're certainly reliable, you're always a BITCH!

"Freaks and Geeks: The Little Things (#1.17)" (2000)
Daniel Desario: [about Ken dating Amy, who used to be a hermaphrodite] Does that mean you're gay?
Ken Miller: I don't know... does it?
Daniel Desario: [silence] I was joking.
Ken Miller: Oh...

"Freaks and Geeks: Girlfriends and Boyfriends (#1.8)" (2000)
Nick Andopolis: Hey, I heard Kim got an "A" on her Western Civics exam.
Nick Andopolis: Oh no, that was *my* girlfriend. Hmm, but did you know that Lindsay got detention for flipping off her gym teacher?
Nick Andopolis: No, wait, that was *your* girlfriend! Hmm.
Daniel Desario: I heard that Kim hit you really hard in the chest.
Daniel Desario: No wait. That was me.
Daniel Desario: [slams Nick in the chest and walks away]
Nick Andopolis: Wow, that was really hard.