Tony Kirby
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Quotes for
Tony Kirby (Character)
from You Can't Take It with You (1938)

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You Can't Take It with You (1938)
Tony Kirby: You're so beautiful. Like, sometimes you're so beautiful it just gags me. Maybe you're not real? Maybe you're a phantom or something? I-I keep expecting you to vanish.

Tony Kirby: You know, every time I think about how lucky I am, I feel like screaming.

Alice Sycamore: I resent what you said about your brain. I think it's beautiful.
Tony Kirby: You do, huh?
Alice Sycamore: Mmmhm
Tony Kirby: I see. Yeah, that's probably the first thing you noticed about me that you liked - my colossal brain.
Alice Sycamore: Well, no. No, it was the back of your head.
Tony Kirby: The back of my head? I've got a big bump back there. Well, what happened when I turned around?
Alice Sycamore: Well, I figured I'd just have to get used to that.
Tony Kirby: Oh, you figured.
Alice Sycamore: And, you know, it might not take very long, but I just figured I'd...
Tony Kirby: ...you just figured you'd just... well, I'm glad you 'figured.'

Tony Kirby: [phone rings. Tony won't let go of Alice's hands] You know, it's a strange sensation - I seem to hear ringing in my ears.
Alice Sycamore: Me, too. And I thought for a moment it was the telephone.
Tony Kirby: Yeah. I hear voices, too. Voices that say, if you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.
Alice Sycamore: You know, if I were really clever, I could answer the phone without the use of my hands.
Tony Kirby: Saw it done in a circus once.
Tony Kirby: [Alice picks up receiver with her teeth] Hey, wonderful, you'd be a sensation on the trapeze!

Alice Sycamore: Have you ever been in a monastery?
Tony Kirby: No, but I'm the fella who got caught in a cave once.
Alice Sycamore: Were you? Whatever happened to you?
Tony Kirby: Well, the cave caved in and I haven't been heard from since.

Tony Kirby: Your family, boy, they knocked me for a loop. I don't know, it just seems like in their own way, they found what everybody's looking for. People spend their whole lives building castles in the air and then nothing ever comes of it. I wonder why that is? Well, it takes courage. Everybody's afraid to live.
Alice Sycamore: You ought to hear Grandpa on that subject. He says most people nowadays are run by fear. Fear of what they eat, fear of what they drink, fear of their jobs, their future, fear of their health. They're scared to save money and scared to spend it. You know what his pet aversion is? The people who commercialize on fear, you know they scare you to death so they can sell you something you don't need. So, he kinda taught all of not to be afraid of anything, but do what we want to do. Well, its kinda fun, anyway.

Tony Kirby: You know, there never was anything in my life that I couldn't get if I didn't scream loud enough.
Alice Sycamore: Really?
Tony Kirby: Yeah, and I've had plenty of practice with it since I was a baby. I'm pretty terrific at it now. Here, let me show you a little example.
[he screams, and the office boy opens the door]
Tony Kirby: [he screams again, and the office boy leaves]
[both laugh]

Tony Kirby: I can feel a scream coming on right now... it's up here, in my throat! It's fighting to get out!
Alice Sycamore: No, please, don't scream!
[she screams]
Henry - the Head Waiter: [comes over] What happened?
Tony Kirby: What happened? Well, there was a mouse!
Henry - the Head Waiter: A mouse in this place?
Tony Kirby: What do you mean, 'mouse'? It was a rat, *this* long, and it had hair on it! And there were six or seven of them!

Lord Melville: Miss Sycamore, have you a family tree?
Tony Kirby: My dear sir, don't you know that a Sycamore *is* a tree?

Tony Kirby: We can't just pop out of the building with no place to go. Very bad idea that, you know. I know two people that did that once - they went out of the building, they were uncertain, so they just walked and walked and walked and finally they just died... of hunger. Now you wouldn't want anything like that to happen... because if, if that happened... you're so beautiful.

DePinna: Didn't I read something about your father? He was indicted or something, wasn't he?
Tony Kirby: Oh-oh, no. He just testified before the Securities Commission.
DePinna: Oh, I thought the cops had got him?

Tony Kirby: I was just thinking about that family of yours. Living with them must be like living in a world of Walt Disney, my good fellow. Everybody does just as he pleases, doesn't he?
Alice Sycamore: Yes. Grandpa started it. He just suddenly left business one day. He started up in the elevator one day and he turned around and came right down. He never went back. He could have been a rich man; but, he said he wasn't having any fun.
Tony Kirby: Oh, that's wonderful.
Alice Sycamore: Then he started collecting stamps because that's what he likes best.

Tony Kirby: There's a tiny little engine in the green of this grass and in the green of the trees that has the mysterious gift of being able to take energy from the rays of the sun and store it up. You see that that's how the heat and power in coal and oil and wood is stored up. Well, we thought if we could find the secret of all those millions of little engines in this green stuff, we could, we could make big ones! And then we could take all the power we could ever need, right from the sun's rays.

Alice Sycamore: Don't ask me to go over there because I won't go.
Tony Kirby: No, no, no, Alice. I want you to met a four-star blue blood. Come on. Come.


"Great Performances: You Can't Take It with You (#13.4)" (1984)
Tony Kirby: I wouldn't trade one minute of this evening for all the rice in China.
Alice Sycamore: Is there much rice in China?
Tony Kirby: Didn't you read "The Good Earth"?

Tony Kirby: My father raises orchids at $10,000 a bulb, does that sound logical? My mother studies spiritualism, that's just as bad as your mother typing plays.
Alice Sycamore: Your mother studies spiritualism because it's fashionable and your father raises orchids because he can afford to. My mother types plays because 8 years ago a typewriter was delivered here by accident.