Machine Gun Joe Viterbo
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Quotes for
Machine Gun Joe Viterbo (Character)
from Death Race 2000 (1975)

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Death Race 2000 (1975)
Joe: You know Myra, some people might think you're cute. But me, I think you're one very large baked potato.

Junior: Joe doesn't look too happy, but you just can't keep those Frankenstein fans down.
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: Lousy sons of bitches! Frankenstein...
Myra: Give it to 'em, Joe!
[She hands Joe a Thompson submachine gun]
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: Frankenstein! You want Frankenstein? I'll give you Frankenstein!
[Joe opens fire into the stands]
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: Aarrgh!

Special agent: You know, Mr. VeTurbo, as a representative of Mr. President's government, I happen to hold the power of life and death.
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: Yeah? Well I happen to hold the clam sauce.
[Slings a handful of clam sauce into the Special Agent's face]

Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: I got two words to say to that... BULL- SHIT!

Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: You know, it used to be in the old days we would just take someone like you in a alley and blow their brains out.
Annie Paine: Come on Joe, all's fair in love and war.
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: I'm glad you said that Annie, because what we got going here ain't exactly love.
[Begins to strangle her]

Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: Save it for the French.

Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: [strangling Annie] How does it feel to know you're gonna spend the rest of your life in pain? The rest of your life is about a minute and a half.

Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: Hey cornball, what's the fastest way through here?
Fisherman: Well, the way we do it is we get a bulldozer and plow right through there.
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: No, I mean what's the fastest way from here to Albuquerque?
Fisherman: You gotta go back to the main highway, really.
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: That was more than 45 minutes!
Fisherman: I've seen you before. I'm one of your greatest fans, you know that? I've followed all the races. I have pictures of you all over the outhouse. I even named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein, I did.
Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: You lousy stinking dirtball... you've got two seconds to live!

Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo: Who built this stinking road? If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out!

[At the race's first pit stop, Machine Gun Joe, Calamity Jane & Matilda the Hun and their navigators are getting a rubdown treatment]
Special agent: [Addresses the racers and navigators] One thing before we begin: The government would like it if no one said anything about Nero, understand? He hit a tree and that's it. Got it? We don't wanna depress anybody...
Joe: [cuts in] Hey, hey! Everybody knows he's been blown up by the Resistance, you shmuck. It was on television.
Special agent: If you wanna drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo, you'll keep those opinions to yourself.

Death Race (2008)
Machine-Gun Joe: [before blowing up the Monster] Sayonara, Frankie.

Machine-Gun Joe: [seeing a fight about to break out] Never a dull day.

Machine-Gun Joe: [referring to Jensen] Who's the new fish?
Coach: Grease monkey.
Machine-Gun Joe: [to Jensen] Well well. Monkey. I got a new name for you - Igor, because you about the ugliest motherfucker out here in this prison yo!

Joe's Navigator #3: I'm honored to navigate for you, sir. They call me...
Machine-Gun Joe: [interrupting] Save it. We won't have time to get acquainted.