Rudy Huxtable
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Quotes for
Rudy Huxtable (Character)
from "The Cosby Show" (1984)

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"The Cosby Show: Jitterbug Break (#1.16)" (1985)
[Denise asks Theo if she can borrow some money for a concert]
Theo: Hey, if Dad lets you go, I'll give you five hundred dollars.
Denise: You don't have five hundred dollars!
Theo: Do I look worried?

Denise: Dad, I'd like permission to sleep away from home tonight.
Cliff: Ok, are you going to sleep at a friend's house?
Denise: No.
Cliff: Are you going to sleep at a stranger's house?

[Denise has asked Cliff to sleep on 32nd St for tickets to a concert. Cliff is laughing]
Cliff: 32nd St. Where?
Denise: On 32nd St... itself.
Cliff: Why, have you volunteered to be a pothole?

[Cliff is dancing and Denise is watching him]
Denise: Dad, promise me something. When my friends come over... don't do that.

[Denise has unsuccessfully tried to get permission from Cliff to sleep on 32nd St]
Cliff: You're not going. I love you. You're not going.
Denise: You said you would have an open mind.
Cliff: 32nd St closed it up, dear.


"The Cosby Show: The Infantry Has Landed (and They've Fallen Off the Roof) (#7.8)" (1990)
Rudy: There I was sitting in class while the teacher was talking about punctuation and I was starting my period. Do you know how embarrassing that was?
Clair Hanks Huxtable: I think I do, and so does every other woman in the world. Honey that's why they call it the curse.
Rudy: The curse?
Clair Hanks Huxtable: The curse, dear. Now it's called the curse, the visitor, the flag is up, the infantry has landed.
Rudy: The infantry has landed?
Clair Hanks Huxtable: And fallen off the roof. In my day it was referred to as The Horror.

Rudy: Those were the bad old days, huh, Mom?
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Those were the bad old days. But we've come a long way since then, and Rudy you know, it's very natural, it's been going on since the beginning of time. It's what makes you a woman.
Rudy: But Mom, I'm NOT a woman, I'm 12 years old!
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Rudy, in biological terms you ARE a woman, and if you're going to be a mother someday, this HAS to happen.

Rudy: Does everyone know?
Susan: No, when you ran out of class we told everybody you had an emergency.
Davina: Yeah, we said your house was on fire.
Rudy: What?
Susan: Then later we told them it was a false alarm.
Davina: So, what's it like?
Rudy: Well, it's like getting a stomachache, but without eating candy.


"The Cosby Show: The Storyteller (#6.26)" (1990)
Aunt Gramtee: Rudy, I hear your performance at school is slipping. Now you straighten up and fly right.
Rudy Huxtable: Yes ma'am.
Aunt Gramtee: [Theo laughs] Theo...
Theodore 'Theo' Huxtable: Gramtee! I'm doing my best. But I have a learning disability.
Aunt Gramtee: Well you STILL have to work hard.
Theodore 'Theo' Huxtable: Yes ma'am.

Aunt Gramtee: During slavery, did you know that it was illegal to teach slaves how to read?
Rudy Huxtable: It was illegal to learn to read?
Aunt Gramtee: Oh yes.

Denise Huxtable Kendall: Oh, Gramtee, you were a school teacher, weren't you?
Aunt Gramtee: Yes, I taught grades 1 through 8 in one room.
Rudy Huxtable: [shocked] One room?
Aunt Gramtee: That's right. Many of the children had to walk 12 miles to and from school. And when they went home, they had to work their farms until the sun went down.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: It was so much harder to get an education back then.
Aunt Gramtee: You know, during slavery in some states, it was illegal to teach a slave to read.
Rudy Huxtable: Illegal to learn how to read?
Aunt Gramtee: Now your great-great-great aunt Lucinda grew up in slavery. But she was determined to learn to read. She used to play with the owner's daughters, the Hawthorne girls. They had tutors. The Hawthorne girls were beginning to feel bad because they were learning how to read and Lucinda couldn't. So after their class they would sneak her down to the creek and teach Lucinda everything they had learned.
Rudy Huxtable: Could aunt Lucinda have gotten in trouble?
Aunt Gramtee: Oh, yes. She could have been severely punished. But that didn't scare her. She was determined to learn to read. And after slavery she became a teacher.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Is that what inspired you to become a teacher?
Aunt Gramtee: I guess we could say she was an inspiration.


"The Cosby Show: Together Again and Again (#5.1)" (1988)
Denise Huxtable: I've decided to discontinue my college education.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Come again, young lady?
Denise Huxtable: I'm not going back to Hillman.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Wanna bet?

Denise Huxtable: And, who am I? An industrious young woman who wants to examine life without... pressure!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: And how much does that pay?

Denise Huxtable: I mean, is a person who makes an A better than a person who makes a C?
Clair Hanks Huxtable: No.
Denise Huxtable: [chuckles] I was sure you were going to say yes!


"The Cosby Show: Nightmare on Stigwood Avenue (#7.21)" (1991)
Rudy Huxtable: You have a date? Olivia, you're only 5!
Olivia Kendall: Don't push it Rudy! Dr. Huxtable says I'm very mature for my age.
[Cliff enters]
Rudy Huxtable: Dad, Olivia's going on a date?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Yeah, why not? She's very mature for her age.

Rudy Huxtable: [Olivia's going on a date] Doesn't she have a curfew?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well of course she does.
[to Olivia]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Now when would you *like* to get back?
Olivia Kendall: Tuesday.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Okay then, Tuesday is the curfew.


"The Cosby Show: Rudy's Sick (#1.12)" (1984)
Rudy: No more parties in there.

Rudy: Vanessa said that there are germs, what kind do I have?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Oh, yeah... What you have are the 'Tripp-tah-mel-perm-a-seps'
Rudy: 'Tripp-tah-mel-perm-a-seps?'
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Yes, the "Tripps" as the like to call themselves... They like to hang out at sinks and drinking fountains and they say,
[imitating Jeremey the No-Where Man from "The Yellow Submarine"]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Where's the party? I LOOVE to party! I just love to get inside of the young body and just... mmm, hmm, mmm... Party!
Rudy: Why me?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [normal voice] Well, they choose you because you're young and you're cute... and, they get inside your body and they say...
[does a jig and resumes talking like Jeremy]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Hmmm... This is lovey place to party.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [normal voice; quickens jig] And they start movin' around all fast you know...
[back to Jeremy voice]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Oooh, this is hot par-tay!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [normal voice] And jump into the court bussels and they did the boogey down like...
[Jeremey voice as the sitcom audience laughs]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Party, Party, Party, Party!


"The Cosby Show: First Day of School (#2.1)" (1985)
Rudy Huxtable: [First lines; Rudy has walked into her parents bedroom, finding them asleep; she climbs up on the bed and begins to lightly jump on her father's side, trying to wake him up] Daddy?
Cliff: [groggily] I thought I told you to knock before you come in here!
Rudy Huxtable: I didn't want to wake you.

Clair Hanks Huxtable: [to Rudy] What would you like for breakfast?
Rudy Huxtable: Cereal.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Cereal what?
Rudy Huxtable: Cereal... and bananas.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Cereal, bananas what?
Rudy Huxtable: Cereal, bananas... and milk.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Cereal, bananas, milk... What?
Rudy Huxtable: [hesitating] um... in a bowl.
[sitcom audience laughs at her answer]
Clair Hanks Huxtable: [impatiently smiling; calmly] Cereal, bananas, milk in a bowl... WHAT?
Rudy Huxtable: [quietly counting the words she said with her fingers; much to the laughter of the sitcom audience] Cereal... bananas... milk in a bowl...
[pause; then very cutely]
Rudy Huxtable: PLEASE!


"The Cosby Show: Halloween (#2.6)" (1985)
Cliff: [Rudy comes downstairs in a pumpkin costume] Whoa, where're you going? To a wedding?
Rudy Huxtable: No, trick-or-treating!
Cliff: Trick-or-treating? What's that?
Rudy Huxtable: Where you dress up and get candy.
Cliff: Well when did that start?
Rudy Huxtable: When I was 3.

Cliff: [getting the kids ready for Trick-or-treating] And do you have a song while go out there?
Rudy Huxtable, Katie, Peter Chiara: [singing in unison; as the sitcom audience laughs] Trick or treat, smell my feet/ Give me something good to eat!/ If you don't, I don't care/ I'll pull down your underwear!
[a short pause]
Cliff: [bluntly] I don't think that's an appropriate song.


"The Cosby Show: No Way, Baby (#5.15)" (1989)
Vanessa: Rudy, what would you do in life if you only had a fourth grade education?
Rudy: Teach third grade.


"The Cosby Show: The Dentist (#2.16)" (1986)
Rudy Huxtable: Show us teeth!
[Dr. Burns opens his mouth]
Rudy Huxtable: No! Those teeth!
Dr. Burns: Where, on the shelves? Yeah these go on the shelves too sometimes.
[picks up some false teeth]
Dr. Burns: A long time ago these teeth came into my office, they didn't have an appointment, they didn't have anything! And I said 'do I know you?' and they said 'No, but you've taken out some of our friends!'


"The Cosby Show: How Ugly Is He? (#1.9)" (1984)
Denise Huxtable: So, Daddy, how do you like David?
Cliff: I don't know if that's him. He hasn't found himself yet.


"The Cosby Show: Off to See the Wretched (#6.23)" (1990)
Rudy Huxtable: Oh, look! There's Frankie X.on the T.V. right now! He's from the Wretched!
News Reporter: In other entertainment news lead singer Frankie X said in a news conference that he wanted to thank the citizens of Baltimore for letting the Wretched play there in Baltimore tonight...
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Did he just say that the Wretched are in Baltimore tonight?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: That's what he said.
Rudy Huxtable: Vanessa went all the way to Baltimore. WOW!


"The Cosby Show: Goodbye, Mr. Fish (#1.2)" (1984)
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: This is not a Hollywood funeral. Now, take the sunglasses off.
Denise Huxtable: [Denise takes them off and Cliff sees she's put on strange makeup]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Put the sunglasses back on!


"The Cosby Show: Same Time Next Year (#7.1)" (1990)
Rudy: This is woman stuff. I really need to talk to Mom.
Cliff: I'm a gynecologist, and you want to talk to a lawyer?


"The Cosby Show: You Only Hurt the One You Love (#3.18)" (1987)
[Rudy has hurt herself badly during play and Cliff wants to examine her]
Rudy Huxtable: [crying] I want to see a doctor.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: I am a doctor.
Rudy Huxtable: [still crying] No you're not! You're Daddy!


"The Cosby Show: A Shirt Story (#1.5)" (1984)
Denise Huxtable Kendall: [Theo's complaining about the shirt fitting horribly] Well maybe if you tuck it in a little...
Theo: [through gritted teeth] It's tucked into my socks!


"The Cosby Show: Shall We Dance? (#6.7)" (1989)
Rudy: [interrupts Cliff trying to kiss Clair] Dad?
Cliff: Why is it every time I try to kiss my wife, a kid pops up?


"The Cosby Show: Denise's Friend (#2.11)" (1985)
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Remember when I spent the night at Janet's house a few weeks ago? Well I didn't spend the night at Janet's I spent the night at Tommy Watkins.
Vanessa Huxtable: YOU WHAT?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: How - how come Mr. and Mrs. Watkins did tell us?
Denise Huxtable Kendall: They were on vacation.
Vanessa Huxtable: They were?
Denise Huxtable Kendall: We didn't do anything, just listened to some records.
[pause]
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Are you angry?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Ask your mother.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Mom, are you angry?
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Oh no, I'm not angry... I'm MAD!


"The Cosby Show: Vanessa's Bad Grade (#2.14)" (1986)
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Vanessa and I have fought over clothes before.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Yes, but not to the death!


"The Cosby Show: Calling Doctor Huxtable (#3.17)" (1987)
Rudy: [about smoking] It makes your breath stink. It makes your lungs dirty. And then you die!


"The Simpsons: 'Round Springfield (#6.22)" (1995)
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Then there was the time I guest-starred on "The Cosby Show".
Bill Cosby: Kids, this is your Grandpa Murphy.
Bill Cosby's Daughter: But we've got three grandpas already.
Bill Cosby: This one's the famous jazz musician.
Bill Cosby's Daughter: Ah, they all are.
Bill Cosby: Oh,oh-oh! You see, the kids these days, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage. With the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin', they don't know what the jazz is all about. Y'see, jazz is like Jello pudding... no, that's not it. Jazz is like Kodak film... no, that's not right neither. I've got it, jazz is like the new Coke - it'll be around forever.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Sigh.


"The Cosby Show: Mrs. Westlake (#2.12)" (1986)
[First lines]
Rudy Huxtable: [Rudy is reading a book, while she is lying on top of her father who is sleeping] I gave my cat a ball of...
[stumbles over a word]
Rudy Huxtable: Yah... Yah- Daddy?
[jabs her father awake]
Rudy Huxtable: Daddy!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [wakes up with a start] What's happening?
Rudy Huxtable: What is this word?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [reading the book] Yah-arn. Yarn.
Rudy Huxtable: Thanks, Daddy.
[Goes back to reading]
Rudy Huxtable: I gave my cat a ball of yarn, she plah...
[jabs at her father awake]
Rudy Huxtable: Daddy!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [wakes up again with a start] Where are you going?


"The Cosby Show: I'm 'In' with the 'In' Crowd (#6.3)" (1989)
[last lines]
Vanessa Huxtable: [takes the shot glass up to her mouth, scrunches up her face, and drinks. she expects to taste bourbon, but... ]
[as her face relaxes]
Vanessa Huxtable: this is tea...
Rudy Huxtable, Clair Hanks Huxtable, Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Gotcha!


"The Cosby Show: Theo and the Older Woman (#2.5)" (1985)
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Mom, Dad. I need your help.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: What's up?
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Theo. He is acting weird and he is ruining my project.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Oh dear. How is he acting weird and ruining your project.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: He is trying to impress Susanne.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: What is he doing?
Denise Huxtable Kendall: He has changed his clothes, he cleans his room and now he is upstairs studying.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well. We'll see if we could get her to move in.


"The Cosby Show: Pilot (#1.1)" (1984)
Heathcliff Huxtable: Where are you going?
Denise Huxtable Kendall: I have a date, Daddy.
Heathcliff Huxtable: [referring to the belt on her leg] Uh, not like that, blood cannot get up to your brain from there! And besides, it's a school night.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: It's Friday, Daddy.
Heathcliff Huxtable: Yeah, but did you go to school today?
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Yeah...
Heathcliff Huxtable: And so it's a "school night".


"The Cosby Show: Bad Dreams (#1.3)" (1984)
Cliff: Did you call your sister a baby?
Rudy Huxtable: No, I called her a baby chicken!


"The Cosby Show: It's All in the Game (#7.5)" (1990)
Theo: Dad, all those stories we've come to find out are not true.
Cliff: What? What? Who said? From who?
Theo, Denise, Vanessa, Rudy: Grandpa!
Cliff: You're going to believe a man that age?


"The Cosby Show: Waterworks (#4.17)" (1988)
Rudy Huxtable: [Cliff is on the phone] Vanessa hit me!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: No, no. Go... read a book!


"The Cosby Show: Is That My Boy? (#1.4)" (1984)
[First lines]
Rudy Huxtable: [calling to Vanessa; from upstairs] Vanessa! Vanessa!
[pause]
Rudy Huxtable: [shouts loudly and impatiently] VANESSA!
[sitcom laughter]
Vanessa Huxtable: [shouts] MOM! You tell Rudy to stop saying my name!
Clair Hanks Huxtable: [working at her desk] Cliff?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): [resting on the couch; smiling] They said 'Mom', dear. Not 'Dad'. That's why they have different names for us. So they can get to who they want.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: But, can't you see I am busy?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): I'll do them for you.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: You? You hate doing books.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): [chuckles] It's that everytime I see how they bring a smile to your face, it makes me jealous and want to make books of my own.
Rudy Huxtable: [calls] Vanessa!
Vanessa Huxtable: [calls] Mom!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): Clair!
Clair Hanks Huxtable: [serious] Cliff.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): [now serious] You want me to destroy them now?
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Do something!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): [shouts] Rudy!
Rudy Huxtable: [shouts] Yes?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): [talking loudly] This is your father talking to you. Get down on your hands and knees. Now Put your ear to the floor. Can you hear me?
Rudy Huxtable: Yes.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): All right... I am going to say this only one time...
[shouts]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable (Cosby, Bill): STOP IT!