Olivia Kendall
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Quotes for
Olivia Kendall (Character)
from "The Cosby Show" (1984)

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"The Cosby Show: Nightmare on Stigwood Avenue (#7.21)" (1991)
Olivia Kendall: These are blackberries, I wanted blueberries!
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: But dear, we searched all over the country and we couldn't find any.
Clair Hanks Huxtable: Cliff, you didn't try Canada... no, didn't I say, I told you try Canada but 'ooooh no, just give the child blackberries, she'll never know the difference'. Well she did, Cliff and now you're in trouble.
Olivia Kendall: No, you're both in trouble. As far as I'm concerned you should both go jump in the lake.

Sondra: Here you are, Olivia, three tickets to the Jackson concert.
Olivia Kendall: Which Jackson?
Olivia Kendall: Whichever Jackson you like.

Rudy Huxtable: You have a date? Olivia, you're only 5!
Olivia Kendall: Don't push it Rudy! Dr. Huxtable says I'm very mature for my age.
[Cliff enters]
Rudy Huxtable: Dad, Olivia's going on a date?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Yeah, why not? She's very mature for her age.

Rudy Huxtable: [Olivia's going on a date] Doesn't she have a curfew?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well of course she does.
[to Olivia]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Now when would you *like* to get back?
Olivia Kendall: Tuesday.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Okay then, Tuesday is the curfew.


"The Cosby Show: Denise Kendall: Navy Wife (#6.4)" (1989)
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: I am a doctor for women.
Olivia Kendall: What do you do with them?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: I deliver their babies.
Olivia Kendall: Deliver?
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: When the woman has the baby inside of her, then I go in and I take it out.
Olivia Kendall: No you don't. Everybody knows that the stork brings the baby.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Who told you that?
Olivia Kendall: My daddy.

Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [unable to see that he is fighting a losing battle] Okay. Well, the stork puts the baby inside of the mother...
[Olivia shakes her head]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: ...and then I go in and I take it out.
Olivia Kendall: Ah aah. The stork brings the baby to the hospital and drops it in the bassinet.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: So you say that the baby is not inside the mummy?
[Olivia nods in agreement]
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Then why is it that the mother gets real big?
Olivia Kendall: Because she eats a lot of food.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Now let me get this straight. You say that the stork carries over, puts the baby in the bassinet, and the mother is real big because she eats a lot of food?
Olivia Kendall: You got it.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: I see. Well, then why is it that the mother has to go to the hospital?
Olivia Kendall: The stork brings the baby to the hospital, drops it in the bassinet. The mummy goes to the hospital and gets it.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [not yet ready to admit defeat] If the stork does all that, why doesn't the stork just bring it to the mummy's house?
Olivia Kendall: [makes a gesture of impatience] Because it's too far. His wings will get tired.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Where does the stork get the babies from?
Olivia Kendall: Heaven.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Okay. There is a zillion skillion babies in Heaven. How does the stork know what baby goes with what mother?
Olivia Kendall: They are in a line. You know like you go to the baker and get a number.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [still not ready to admit defeat] Why when I put my hand on the mother I can feel things moving all around?
Olivia Kendall: That's not a baby.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: What is it?
Olivia Kendall: Gas.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [finally realizing he has lost] Well thank you for explaining it to me.
Olivia Kendall: You're welcome, but you still haven't told me what you do.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: I'm in charge of gas.


"The Cosby Show: The Storyteller (#6.26)" (1990)
Olivia Kendall: But God made all the animals so I can see them at the zoo.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Well God also made me your stepmother and put me in charge and I say you're going to church.

Aunt Gramtee: Well this is a pleasant way to wake up... unless I'm looking at an angel in Heaven.
Olivia Kendall: No, it's me, Olivia.


"The Cosby Show: It's All in the Game (#7.5)" (1990)
Denise: Olivia what are you doing? You know you're not supposed to touch any machines in this house. Now why did you put your crayons in the washer with Theo's pants?
Olivia Kendall: Because the label on the crayon said "washable".
Denise: Olivia sweetheart that means you can wash it off of the walls, your skin or your clothes.
Olivia Kendall: I wish someone had told me that.

Olivia Kendall: Are you still angry?
Cliff: Yes! You know you're not supposed to touch any machines in this house.
Olivia Kendall: I'm sorry. I'll never touch another machine in here. I'll pay for the repairs out my allowance.
Cliff: Do you know just how much it's going to cost to fix the washing machine? A bazillion dollars.
Olivia Kendall: I have a bazillion dollars in my bank account
Cliff: No, you don't.
Olivia Kendall: [Olivia gives Cliff a big raspberry on the side of his cheek]


"The Cosby Show: Cliff's Wet Adventure (#6.9)" (1989)
Paula: Look at you! It's only been three months and you're getting so big.
Olivia Kendall: Denise cooks for me.
Paula: She does?
Olivia Kendall: Yes! And I'm still alive!

Olivia Kendall: Hi mommy, do you wanna hear my Thanksgiving song? Its Thanksgiving Time, it turkey time, his name is Tom, he's a bird, that's the word, Tom's a bird.


"The Cosby Show: Period of Adjustment (#7.4)" (1990)
Olivia Kendall: I'll do my part. But I hope Pam doesn't boss me around too much.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Why would she do that?
Olivia Kendall: Because that's what old people do. It's their job.
Denise Huxtable Kendall: Olivia, Pam is only seventeen.
Olivia Kendall: Wow! She's older than I thought!


"The Cosby Show: Home Remedies (#7.20)" (1991)
Olivia Kendall: [Olivia is upset that she is sick and can't sing for Cliff's parents on their anniversary] I can't buy them anything. I'm broke.
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: What happened to all your money?
Olivia Kendall: I don't know. I bought some bubble gum.