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Quotes for
Audrey Woods (Character)
from Laws of Attraction (2004)

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Laws of Attraction (2004)
Audrey: Are you taking your clothes off?
Daniel: Only the bottoms.

Daniel: I don't believe in divorce.
Audrey: But you're a divorce lawyer!
Daniel: It's a job.

[Audrey and Daniel are overlooking the beautiful countryside. In the background their car rolls past them and they hear it crash]
Audrey: Well that spoiled it for me.

[talking to her mom on the phone and eating candy corn]
Sara: What are you eating?
Audrey: Vegetables.

[after discovering that Daniel wrote a book]
Audrey: Book? Book? What book? When does he have time to write books?

[wakes in bed with Daniel, wearing a ring on her finger - gets out of bed]
Audrey: Oh, okay, okay, wake up, wake up.
Daniel: Morning.
Audrey: Wake up. Would you please look at your left hand, please?
Daniel: What?
Audrey: Please!
[sees the ring on his hand]
Daniel: Oh, would you look at that. Oh, you got one, too.
Audrey: Daniel, did we get married last night?
Daniel: Yes, I have a feeling we did. The details are still a little bit fuzzy but the bride was beautiful in her figure-hugging Sarena outfit and... you're not happy.
Audrey: Do I look happy?
Daniel: It's hard to say. I mean, because you never seem to be happy around me and...
Audrey: Oh, it's all coming back. We gotta find the guy who did this and tell him that we didn't mean it.
Daniel: But I did mean it.
Audrey: Of course you didn't, how could you? You don't want to be married to me!

Daniel: Can I say something?
Audrey: No, you can't!

Audrey: We're just going to have to file when we get back to New York, okay. It'll be like it never happened.
Daniel: But it did happen.

Audrey: Audrey Woods, I'm representing Mrs. Harrison.
Daniel: I've heard good things.

Sara: Do you want him dead?
Audrey: Mother.
Sara: I mean socially.

Sara: Is this Rafferty guy cute?
Audrey: I didn't notice. Besides he's not your type. He's old enough to drive.

Audrey: Each case I handle convinces me further that marraige is dead in the water.

Audrey: Oh, boy, don't you try to analyze me with your whole, disheveled Bohemian my socks don't match so therefore I have insight into all things wacko mindset. There are no psychoanalytical shortcuts into my pants.

Audrey: Oh look, medical waste in a glass. No umbrella?

Audrey: [after giving Daniel a new tie] I thought you'd enjoy owning one without a stain.
Daniel: That's an interesting presumption.

Daniel: So... Romantic, no?
Audrey: No.

Audrey: A sincere apology is just a manipulation tactic like forgiveness or generosity.

Audrey: Are you crazy?
Sara: Yes, but I'm also your mother.

Thorne Jamison: [seeing Audrey in the crowd while fans surround him for an autograph] See this Barry, I've got classy fans, too. And a what might you want?
Audrey: I want you.
Thorne Jamison: Oohh! Chihuaha! Nice opening line, I like it. Direct, no B.S, just how I like it. Grr. Ok, tell me what we're working with Dollface.
Audrey: Ok, this is what we're working with *Dollface*. You've got a devoted, hardworking wife at home, yet you cheat, lie, and blow all your money on strippers and whores. You finally abandon her leaving her no option but to file for divorce. That's the opposing council's opening line. Direct. No B.S. Just the way you like it. And your wife has just hired the second best divorce attorney in New York City to deliver it. Now you need someone to tell you side of the story, no matter how *sordid*, and make you seem like strawberry shortcake.
Thorne Jamison: I like strawberry shortcake, and I like your style. Do you know what I think? I think we should continue this conversation back at my place
Audrey: You know what I think? I think you should leave the thinking to me.
Thorne Jamison: Right.

Daniel: If you can reach out and touch the horizon, you're at your journeys end.
Audrey: James Joyce?
Daniel: My Uncle Clive, but, equally profound, don't you think?