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Quotes for
Larry Paul (Character)
from "Ally McBeal" (1997)

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"Ally McBeal: Sex, Lies and Second Thoughts (#4.1)" (2000)
Ally McBeal: You are the biggest *ass* I have ever *met*.
Larry: Perhaps this is where you... kiss it goodbye.

Ally McBeal: You are the biggest ass I have ever met.
Larry Paul: Perhaps this is where you kiss it goodbye.
[Ally leaves the room]
Larry Paul: What did I say?

Larry Paul: Gee, it's like we're married. You're blaming all of society on me. No wonder you want a husband. You're already a wife.

Larry Paul: Do you always talk in run-on sentences?
Ally McBeal: I'm afraid that if I stop for air, somebody else will get a word in.

Larry Paul: Ally, men don't take hints when it comes to rejection. We're used to getting our noses bloodied. We grow up watching movies where, for the first two acts, the girl says no and in the third act, they marry. If he's not the guy, then you have to be brutal. And blunt.


"Ally McBeal: Home Again (#4.22)" (2001)
Ally McBeal: [Larry is out with another woman] Hey, Larry.
Larry Paul: Ally, hi. This is Helena. Helena, Ally.
Helena Fisher: Hello.
Ally McBeal: [still glaring at Larry] Hi. I thought we were watching our cholesterol this month.
Larry Paul: Helena's my ex-wife. Hey, John.
John Cage: Hey-y.
Ally McBeal: Your ex-wife? Oh. Well, what are you talking about over ice cream?
Larry Paul: [wiping whipped cream off his face] Oh, uh, well, um... Nothin'.
Helena Fisher: Nothing.
Ally McBeal: Nothing over ice cream. Great! Maybe you can, um, talk under it.
Ally McBeal: [dumps Larry's ice cream on his head] Hmmm. Are you done?
Helena Fisher: [nods] Mmm-hmm.
Ally McBeal: Good.
Ally McBeal: [dumps Helena's ice cream on Larry's head] Oh, this will just warm you up.
Ally McBeal: [pours hot fudge on Larry's head] Mmm. Oh, oh. One minute.
Helena Fisher: Take your time.
Ally McBeal: [sprays Larry with whipped cream] There we go. OK. Come on, John.
John Cage: Bye now.
Helena Fisher: She seems nice.
Larry Paul: She's a sweetheart.


"Ally McBeal: The Pursuit of Unhappiness (#4.17)" (2001)
Jackson Duper: You know what? I'm not even in the mood for your issues.
Ally McBeal: My issues? What are my issues?
Jackson Duper: Look, lady.
Ally McBeal: Ally.
Larry: Jackson.
Jackson Duper: First, you're kissing me.
Ally McBeal: [gesturing to Larry] I thought you were him.
Jackson Duper: Then you climbed into bed.
Ally McBeal: [gesturing to Renee] I thought you were her.
Jackson Duper: Then your hands were all up on my privates.
Ally McBeal: Well, because I thought it was the remote control.
Larry: Hold on!
Jackson Duper: You found the remote, now, didn't you?