Mike Beardsley
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Quotes for
Mike Beardsley (Character)
from Yours, Mine and Ours (1968)

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Yours, Mine & Ours (2005)
Jimi North: Now put your hands up in the air and wave them like you just don't care. And if you think that Kelly is the best let me hear you say "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" Go Kelly! Go Kelly! The other team is...
Michael Beardsley: smelly!
Jimi North: They're quaking like they're...
Harry Beardsley: jelly!
Bina North, Marisa North: We've got sisters from...
Bina North, Marisa North: New Delhii!
Jimi North, Michael Beardsley, Harry Beardsley, Bina North, Marisa North, Dylan North, Christina Beardsley, Phoebe North, Naoko North, Joni North: Go Kelly! Go Kelly! The other team is smelly! They're quaking like they're jelly! We got sisters from New Delhi!
Jimi North: Go Kelly!

Jimi North: [Holding up a pink thong while laughing] Uh, Micheal, did you forget something?
Michael Beardsley: [Pushing Jimi] Shut up!
Mrs. Munion: [Grabs the thong] Oh! That's mine!
[Smiles, while Jimi and Micheal look stunned]

Helen North: We don't spank our children.
Michael Beardsley: The admiral does.
Frank Beardsley: Occasionally. A little pat on the butt sends a clear message.
Helen North: Well you're not spanking my children.
Frank Beardsley: I thought they were our children.
Helen North: You're not spanking our children.
Frank Beardsley: Okay, fine. Let's just let them all run naked and wild.
Kids: Yay!

Michael Beardsley: Does not complaining about the move from Santiago count as my good dead for today?
Frank Beardsley: I'd sign off on that.


Yours, Mine and Ours (1968)
Family Doctor: [Helen is pregnant, but Mike doesn't know] How's your mother?
Mike Beardsley: You mean my stepmother. Oh, she's fine, I guess.
Family Doctor: No morning sickness?
Mike Beardsley: No, doc, I feel fine.
Family Doctor: Not you, your mother!
Mike Beardsley: Well, why should she have mor - ? Morning sickness!
[rolls his eyes in disbelief]
Family Doctor: We need a sample of your blood.
Mike Beardsley: Take it all!

Mike Beardsley: [confronting Helen about her pregnancy] You knew about it Christmas Day, didn't you?
Helen North: Yes.
Mike Beardsley: And you still let Dad ship out. Why?
Helen North: He wanted so much to go. Two people can't live with an ocean between them for the rest of their lives.
Mike Beardsley: Do you really want this baby?
Helen North: Very much. You see, he won't have to worry whether he's a Beardsley or a North.
[Mike nods his head in understanding]

Frank Beardsley: We've decided to use our company manners. Helen, the boys have something to say to you.
Greg Beardsley: Mrs. North, I apologize for putting all that gin in your drink.
Helen North: Ooh, *that's* what did it.
Rusty Beardsley: And I apologize for all that vodka.
Mike Beardsley: And I apologize for the scotch.
Helen North: Scotch, vodka, and - ?
Frank Beardsley: Helen, you've been the victim of an alcoholic Pearl Harbor. It's amazing you survived at all.