Tommy Hyatt
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Quotes for
Tommy Hyatt (Character)
from Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)

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Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)
Tommy: Put in another quarter and try again...

Tommy Hyatt: Shoot the dog. Shoot the dog. Shoot the dog.

Tommy: Mom, are we in Arizona yet?
Alice: If you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna beat you to death. Just sit back there and relax and enjoy life, huh?
Tommy: Life is short.
Alice: So are you.

Tommy: Life is short.
Alice: Yeah, well, so are you.

[last lines]
Tommy: [final lines] You really love David, don't you?
Alice: Yep, I do.
Tommy: Yeah, I like him too, I just hate his taste in music. He always said you could fight with somebody and still like him.
Alice: Hey, now you're using your old noggin! Thanks pal!
[hugs and kisses]
Alice: My boy!
Tommy: Mom, mom, I can't breathe!

Tommy: [to Alice, disparaging David's style of music] Shit-kicking! shit-kicking! shit-kicking!

Alice: [after Tommy, was being a smart aleck] If you open your mouth, once more, I swear to God, I'm gonna nail it shut.
Tommy: [Opens his mouth]
Alice: I'm warning you, Tommy. I'm gonna throw you out, and you're gonna walk the last mile home.
[Tommy makes, faces at his mother]
Alice: Get out!
[Kicks Tommy, out of the car, and Alice drives away]

Tommy: He asked us out there Sunday.
Alice: Farmer John's just gonna have to get along without me, I can tell you that.
Tommy: I want to go.
Alice: No.
Tommy: [Jumping on the couch] Yes!
Alice: No!
Tommy: YES!
Alice: NO!
Tommy: [Kicks the couch] Shit!

David: [Tommy's milking a cow] Hey, Tommy, watch the fingernails.
Tommy: Well, Christ, she's got tits the size of cucumbers. What do you expect?
Alice: Ahem. I don't know where he gets that language, I really don't.
Tommy: Think real hard, it'll come to you, lady.


"Alice: Sex Education (#1.7)" (1976)
Tommy Hyatt: Hey, I haven't got nothing against females. I'm a great believer in sexual quality.

Tommy Hyatt: Mom, everybody who is nauseous isn't pregnant, or Mel's meat loaf would be elected father of the year. She's always sick during mid-terms.


"Alice: Take Him, He's Yours (#3.1)" (1978)
Mel Sharples: People drink because it makes 'em feel good.
Tommy Hyatt: Is that how you feel now?
Mel Sharples: I just had a little bit too much... good.

[Tommy broke his ankle]
Tommy Hyatt: And what am I gonna do about school?
Mel Sharples: Well, you miss a couple o' days. I missed plenty o' days and look at me.
Tommy Hyatt: Yeah!


"Alice: The Bundle (#1.23)" (1977)
Tommy Hyatt: [realizing that something strange is going on] Hey, what's going on? Why's everyone so nervous? Why's the door closed?
Florence Jean Castleberry: Uh, we were just havin' a discussion.
Tommy Hyatt: Oh? What about?
Alice Hyatt: You don't wanna know.
Tommy Hyatt: Talkin' about sex, huh?
Alice Hyatt: No, we're not talkin' about sex.
Tommy Hyatt: Then, you're right. I don't wanna hear it.

Vera Louise Gorman: Tommy, what would you do if you found a lot of money?
Tommy Hyatt: I'd run away with Marie Osmond.


"Alice: Pilot (#1.1)" (1976)
Alice Hyatt: Mel fixed you a nice plate of his special. The least you can do is eat it.
Tommy Hyatt: Oh, come on Mom! When the special is lamb stew and Lima beans, the most I can do is eat it.