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Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry
: I just had the most terrible experience of my life! Mel Sharples
: All hotels had "no vacancy" signs?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry
: When Curly Norris drove me to my trailer this mornin', a terrible thing had happened while I was gone. I couldn't believe it! Curly couldn't believe it either! Mel Sharples
: Your waterbed froze? Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry
: No! My trailer was robbed! Alice Hyatt
: What? Vera Louise Gorman
: You're kidding! Alice Hyatt
: Whaddaya mean, robbed? Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry
: Robbed! Mel Sharples
: What'd they take? Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry
: My whole house! Some turkey towed away my trailer! Vera Louise Gorman
: Are you sure it's missing? Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry
: Vera, when y'go up t'open the front door and there ain't no front door, it don't take a genius to figure out that the house is gone!
: How many trailers have mirrored ceilings? Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry
: Mel, kiss my grits! I told the sheriff I'd offer a real special reward for whoever found it. Alice Hyatt
: Yeah? I'll bet three squad cars smashed into each other trying to be the first outta the station! Vera Louise Gorman
: Well, whatever the reward was I'll double it. Mel Sharples
: That'll call off the search.
: 500 million... 500 million. You girls have one little egg. One little egg! We have you beat 500 million to one!
: He knows all that technical stuff like ovary and urethra Vera Louise Gorman
: I know her. She's a singer! Mel Sharples
: Who? Vera Louise Gorman
: Urethra. I have all her albums.
: People drink because it makes 'em feel good. Tommy Hyatt
: Is that how you feel now? Mel Sharples
: I just had a little bit too much... good.
[Tommy broke his ankle
] Tommy Hyatt
: And what am I gonna do about school? Mel Sharples
: Well, you miss a couple o' days. I missed plenty o' days and look at me. Tommy Hyatt
: [as Vera discusses UFO lore
] Where did you read that... in the "Dinghy Digest"?
Florence Jean Castleberry
: Well, alright, I'll go along, Mel. I'm willing to give up the thing that means most to me. Mel Sharples
: That's bad news for half of the guys in Phoenix. Florence Jean Castleberry
: I was talkin' about coffee!
] Flo, pickup! Florence Jean Castleberry
: [Looking at the dish
] Ah! What is that? Mel Sharples
: Come on, pick it up, pick it up. Florence Jean Castleberry
: Without gloves?
] Florence Jean Castleberry
: What is it? Mel Sharples
: Roast beef. Florence Jean Castleberry
: You're kiddin'. Mel Sharples
: You asked for it rare. Florence Jean Castleberry
: I know, but that thing just stuck its tongue out at me! Florence Jean Castleberry
: [Talking to the dish
] Get back on that plate!
: I like myself the way I am. Who needs self-improvement? Alice Hyatt
: Anyone who likes you the way you are.
: You mean he never had a policy? Alice Hyatt
: No, Don didn't believe in insurance. Mel Sharples
: How come? Alice Hyatt
: It didn't come in a six-pack.
[Vera knocks on the door
] Mel Sharples
: [in a high-pitched voice
] Who is it? Vera Louise Gorman
: It's me, Vera. Mel Sharples
: How can I be sure? Vera Louise Gorman
: I don't know, but if it isn't me, there's nobody here.