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: She checks out. Natasha Romanoff aka The Black Widow. Freelance agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. We've worked with her before. Iron Man
: Welcome aboard. Russian, huh? Black Widow
: Yes, darling. Iron Man
: Can you do me a favor and say "moose and squirrel"? Black Widow
: [notices Thor, Falcon and Iron Man looking romantically at Black Widow
] Hey, why everybody looking at girl like that? Silver Surfer
: My comrades behave like they've never seen a female of their species. Black Widow
: I'm used to it, darling. Happens all the time. I suppose it is something like, how you say, my super power.
: Report! Black Widow
: I have soo much chocolate candy, darling. Do you think eat the caramel or devour the coconut? Dr. Doom
: What kind of nonsense question is this? The caramel of course. Coconuts displeases me. Black Widow
: Everything is going according to plan, they suspect nothing. Dr. Doom
: Well why should they? You are an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., they have no idea the earlier battle was a ruse staged to fool them into trusting you. Ugh, I despise having to talk to do-gooder heroes!
[Black Widow morphs into Mystique
] Dr. Doom
: Much better, Mystique. Now go and gather information, report what you find, and do not fail me. Mystique
: You don't have to order me around!
[Mystique morphs back into Black Widow
] Black Widow
: The pleasure is all mine, darling.
: I couldn't help but notice that you have a mouth. Do you like Italian food? Cause I know a place... a romantic table, you, me, no beavers? Black Widow
: Ah, scanners are clear, weathers great, everything's quiet, guess that means something awful's gonna happen, huh? Black Widow
] You have no idea. Hm!
: Whoo, finally. Last checkpoint. All the fractals are here. Eh, Black Widow, you stand guard, I'll make the deposit. Black Widow
: Nothing will go wrong on my watch.
[laughs sinisterly as Iron Man moves into the vault
: And by nothing, I mean everything.
[shifts into Captain America's shape
: [Penetrating the barrier with Loki's scepter
] I can close it. Can anybody copy? I can shut the portal down. Captain America
: Do it! Iron Man
: No wait! Captain America
: Stark, these things are still coming! Iron Man
: I got a nuke coming in. It's going to blow in less than a minute, and I know just where to put it. Captain America
: Stark, you know that's a one way trip? Iron Man
: Save the rest for the turn, J. Jarvis
: Sir, shall I try Ms. Potts? Iron Man
: Might as well.
[Banner arrives in New York on a motorcycle just as the Chitauri have begun their attack
] Bruce Banner
: So... this all seems horrible. Black Widow
: I've seen worse. Bruce Banner
: Sorry. Black Widow
: No, we could... use... a little worse.
: [bleeding and tired
] Captain, none of this is going to mean a damn thing if we don't close that portal. Captain America
: Our biggest guns couldn't touch it. Black Widow
: Well, maybe it's not about guns. Captain America
: If you want to get up there, you're gonna need a ride. Black Widow
: [eyeing a passing Chitauri fighter craft
] I got a ride. I could use a boost, though. Captain America
: Are you sure about this? Black Widow
: Yeah. It's gonna be fun.
: Are we still friends? Hawkeye
: That depends on how hard you hit me.
: Thank you. Sam Wilson
: [holds up Redwing
] Don't thank me. Black Widow
: I'm not thanking that. Sam Wilson
: Aw, come on. Touch it, give it a kiss.
: Look, I really don't want to hurt you. Black Widow
: I wouldn't stress about it.
[beats up Ant-Man
: No, Spider-Man. I do not want to be your amazing friend.
: [to Doctor Octopus
] You of all people should fear spiders.
: Cap, Iron Man's armor is still under Ultron's control. Can you track him? Captain America
: Affirmative. Did you say hello to my *little* friend? Black Widow
: Yes. Let's hope he can get Tony out of his "out of control" armor.
: Okay. I get that Ultron can just pay Yellowjacket for his services. But why is Hydra helping Ultron? Black Widow
: He promised them that when he takes over the world, they get to rule Australia. Hawkeye
: Want to go punch Galactus in the face for dessert?
: Come back here! You can't leave me like this! Hawkeye
: Look on the bright side, Widow - your new green skin will match your eyes.
: Agent Romanoff, officially weirded out.
: Your official Avengers ID card. Scott Lang, welcome to the team. Scott Lang
: Aw, thanks, Cap. Thanks, everybody. Thor
: A new member? I cannot think of a better reason for celebration and feasting. Scott Lang
: I was actually hoping someone would say that.
[enlarges a capsule to reveal a banquet
: Ice cream cake? New guy's okay. Hawkeye
: He had his own insta-party ready to go? Ego much? Black Widow
: Since when do you complain about free food? Hulk
] Why were you not always an Avenger?
: Let's start with your name. Black Widow
: Not here. In private. Tony Stark
: Is this private enough? Black Widow
: Natalia... Romanoff. Tony Stark
: As in the Black Widow? Nick Fury
: I prefer to call her my Number One.
: Black Widow, I've gotta know... Are those real? Black Widow
: I beg your pardon? Deadpool
: Ahh... Your teeth, they're just so darn shiny and straight.
: [about the Chitauri mothership
] Can you get through its defenses? Iron Man
: Hey, piece of cake. Except for that big cannon. Not a fan of the big cannon.