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Quotes for
Grasshopper (Character)
from James and the Giant Peach (1996)

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James and the Giant Peach (1996)
The Grasshopper: He's committed pesticide!

Grasshopper: This is an outrage! You are a disgrace to your Phylum, Order, Class, Genus and Spe...
Centipede: Say it in English!
Grasshopper: YOU, sir, are an ASS!

Spider: We are in the middle of the, how do you say, the big puddle.
Centipede: Biggest puddle of 'em all, angel fangs - the Atlantic Ocean.
Old Green Grasshopper: Technically, the Pacific is the biggest.
Centipede: Well, that goes without saying.

Centipede: Biggest puddle of them all, Angel Fangs. The Atlantic Ocean.
The Grasshopper: Tecnically, the Pacific is larger.
Centipede: Well... that goes without saying.

[James has discovered he has changed]
James: It's like he said: Marvelous things will happen.
Glowworm: Did he say, "Marvelous pigs in satin"?
Grasshopper: No, dear lady.
[He takes out a megaphone and speaks through it]
Grasshopper: Marvelous things will happen.
[to James]
Grasshopper: Poor Glowworm, she's a little deaf.
Earthworm: I, on the other hand, have exquisite hearing.
Centipede: Oh, yeah? Well, listen to this...
[He spits into his many hands and grabs the megaphone and yells into it]

Centipede: I've sailed all the five seas. From the land of Bora Bora to the icy shores of Tripoli. Commodore Centipede, they used to call me.
Grasshopper: Seven.
Centipede: Huh?
Grasshopper: There are seven seas, and Tripoli is in the Sub-Tropics, Commodore!
Centipede: Trim the sails!
Ladybug: There are no sails.
Centipede: Start the engines!
Earthworm: There are no engines.
Centipede: I can't work with this miserable crew!

Earthworm: We gotta get out of here. We'll be turned into living statues.
Grasshopper: *Dead* living statues!

Grasshopper: [singing] For dinner on my birthday, shall I tell you what I chose? Hot noodles made from poodles on a slice of garden hose/And a rather smelly jelly made from armadillo's toes/The jelly is delicious, but you have to hold your nose!

[in the darkness]
Earthworm: [Centipede pinches him] Ow! What was that?
Centipede: Sorry, I thought you were the spider.
Grasshopper: [Miss Spider hits him] Ouch. What was *that*?
Miss Spider: Excuse, I thought you were the Centipede.

Old Green Grasshopper: Oh this is all my fault.
Earthworm: Hey don't take all the credit, I helped too!

[the compass is lost during a storm]
Grasshopper: We'll be blown off course!
Centipede: We'll wind up in Jersey!

Centipede: We're not lost.
Grasshopper: Then where are we?
Centipede: Somewhere up north. Or, possibly, very far south.
Grasshopper: What's your latitude? What's your longitude?
Centipede: Hey, hey, hey! That's personal, bud!

[everyone is discussing how to get the peach to New York]
James: We could... No, it's stupid.
Grasshopper: Compared to what?
James: Well, I suppose we could fly out.
Centipede: He's right. It's stupid.

Earthworm: Great! We'll be stuck here until we starve and die.
The Grasshopper: Highly improbable.
Ladybug: Well, that's encouraging.
The Grasshopper: We are far more likely to drown.

The Grasshopper: No-one is going to squoosh you, old boy. You're six feet long now.
Earthworm: Bigger targets.

The Grasshopper, Centipede: [to each other, after their fighting knocks the last of the food overboard] NOW look what you've done!