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Quotes for
Zach (Character)
from Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)

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Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)
Walter Crandell: She doesn't look dead.
Zach Crandell: That's because it just happened. So you can't really tell, like on "MacGyver".

Zach Crandell: We told you to talk to her. We didn't want you to send her to the glue factory.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: I didn't kill her, Zach. She died in her sleep.
Melissa Crandell: Probably choked on her whistle.

Kenny Crandell: Um... what should we do with her body?
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Call an ambulance, call the cops, I don't know. Well... I mean they're gonna come and get her and they're gonna ask us a lotta questions...
Kenny Crandell: They'll probably blame us.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: [scared of the thought] They'll definitely call Mom!
Melissa Crandell: SHE'LL blame us.
Kenny Crandell: Yeah, she'll hop the next flight home and then be in our faces.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: I don't want Mom to come home.
Zach Crandell: I don't either.
Melissa Crandell: No way.
Walter Crandell: Me too.

Mom: [catching Zach taking money from her wallet] Zach! Put it back. If you need money, ask first.
Zach Crandell: Okay then, can I have ten dollars?
Mom: Forget it!

Zach Crandell: Cynthia, you're my moon goddess.

Mrs. Sturak: Time for little boys to be in bed.
Zach Crandell: Can't you see I'm in the middle of a date?
Mrs. Sturak: [Opening the car door and tossing Cynthia out] And time for little trollops to go home!

Zach Crandell: It was petty cash, YOU were spending petty cash.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Zach, I bought a pair of boots and a magazine, you bought a home entertainment center!

Kenny Crandell: What are we going to do for cash for the next two months?
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: What about a garage sale?
Kenny Crandell: We live in the boonies.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: What about calling Dad?
Kenny Crandell: Dad doesn't care.
Zach Crandell: What about blackmailing Dad?
Melissa Crandell: What about donating blood? Don't they pay you for that?
Kenny Crandell: You have to be over 18.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Well, there goes our great summer.

Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Look, we are a family of felons. Our summer freedom's going to be a winter prison unless I get some help around here. I want the house spick-and-span by Saturday night or I'm turning us all in. Are you with me?
Kenny Crandell: Guys, what do you say?
Walter Crandell, Zach Crandell, Melissa Crandell: Yeah.
Kenny Crandell: Yeah? Come on, guys, what do you say?
Walter Crandell, Zach Crandell, Melissa Crandell: YEAH!
Kenny Crandell: YEAH! We're with you, Sue, ROCK AND ROLL!

Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: You guys spent over $3,000 of the company's petty cash?
Zach Crandell: [sheepishly] Uh... yeah.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: You're grounded! Until Mom returns, you are ALL grounded! How could you steal from me? You never would have stolen money from Mom!
Zach Crandell: That's because Mom never had that much.
Kenny Crandell: Now, wait a minute, Swell. They didn't steal. They "borrowed". They were following your irresponsibility.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Oh, shut up Kenny! I am in deep shit here!
Melissa Crandell: Then quit your job. You were never good at it anyway.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: I can't quit now. I'm an embezzler. I am officially an embezzler! Rose or someone is gonna find that money gone and when they do, they'll lock me up and throw away the key!
Walter Crandell: Nah, the judge will probably go easy on you considering that you're a minor.