Ally Barone
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Quotes for
Ally Barone (Character)
from "Everybody Loves Raymond" (1996)

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"Everybody Loves Raymond: The Ball (#1.12)" (1996)
Robert Barone: [Robert enters the house dressed as Santa Clause] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Is Ally here? I understand there are doubts about me in this house.
Ray Barone: There are now. Come on, Robert.
Robert Barone: No, no. You have me mistaken for some other party. For I am the jolly old St. Nick. Ho, ho, ho! Mom told me what you did. Nice.
Debra Barone: Hey, Ally look. It's Santa Clause!
Ray Barone: Oh, God.
Ally Barone: Santa?
Robert Barone: Yes! It is really I! And I came to see *you*, Ally because I heard you were a very good girl this year and you're going to get everything you want. Ho, ho, ho!
[He turns towards Ray]
Robert Barone: Unlike some other people. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Ray Barone: Yeah, hold the ho's. I wanna talk to you for a minute Santa.
Robert Barone: I'm sorry! I'm with a client. And you may call me Mr. Clause. Ho, ho, ho, ho!
[Frank runs in also dressed as Santa]
Frank Barone: Where's Ally? Ho, ho.
[He sees Robert]
Frank Barone: Holy crap! What are you doing here?
Robert Barone: I'm Santa Clause.
Frank Barone: You're Santa?
Ray Barone: Alright, alright. Will you guys cut it out? Come on. She's confused enough already.
Frank Barone: What's there to be confused about? I'm the *real* Santa Clause! Who is *this* imposter?
Debra Barone: Well, you couldn't both be Santa. You must be... Santa's helpers.
Frank Barone: Right! He's my helper.
[to Robert]
Frank Barone: Hey, helper! Why don't you go warm up the reindeer and bring the sled around?

Robert Barone: [Robert and Frank are both dressed as Santa and are trying to convince Ally that the other one is an imposter] I bet you can't even name the reindeer.
Frank Barone: Oh! Uh, Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen. Uh, those are the main ones. We rotate 'em so they wear evenly. Uh, Cupid. Ajax. And Lefty!
Robert Barone: Aha! Now we know the truth! Ho, ho, ho!
[Ally pulls down his beard]
Ally Barone: It's Uncle Robert.
Robert Barone: No, no, little one. I have only assumed the body of a life-form that... you would accept.
Ray Barone: Robert, you're Santa. Not a Klingon.


"Everybody Loves Raymond: The Getaway (#3.21)" (1999)
Robert Barone: What are you doing here?
Marie Barone: Cleaning.
Robert Barone: Ma, listen. I'm in charge while Raymond is away, all right?
Marie Barone: Of course you are, dear. You're doing a wonderful job, The twins could use a nap.
Robert Barone: I'm handling this.
Marie Barone: I know, dear. I can hear through the vent. Have you thought about dinner?
Robert Barone: I'm ordering a pizza.
Marie Barone: No, pizza's not dinner. I'll fix something.
[Marie heads into the kitchen. Robert turns to Ally]
Robert Barone: Did you know she was here?
Ally Barone: Grandma's *always* here.


"Everybody Loves Raymond: Father Knows Least (#2.2)" (1997)
Ray Barone: All right, Ally, you have to do what Mommy says.
Ally Barone: Why?
Ray Barone: 'Cause I do.


"Everybody Loves Raymond: Homework (#7.3)" (2002)
Debra Barone: [Ray comes in the door] Oh, good. Get in there. Ally needs help with her homework.
[Ray turns around and starts to head back out]
Debra Barone: Hey, hey! Get back in here! Ray, come on. It's either help Ally or give the twins their bath.
Ray Barone: Alright come here guys. Let me look at you.
[He inspects the extremely dirty twins]
Ray Barone: What'd, you strike oil? I'll do Ally.
[He walks into the living room where Ally is sitting on the floor surrounded with books and papers]
Ray Barone: Hey, Popeye. You look like you're doing pretty good here. You don't need my help do you?
Ally Barone: Yes, I do.
Ray Barone: Okay. Alright don't worry. Daddy's here to help you.
[He picks up the remote and turns the TV on]
Ally Barone: Mommy says no TV during homework.
Ray Barone: Don't worry about Mommy.
Debra Barone: Turn it off, Ray!
[He obeys immediately]
Ray Barone: Alright, let's see. What do you got?
Ally Barone: I have to answer all these questions about Abraham Lincoln
Ray Barone: Okay.
Ally Barone: I have to do these three worksheets on fractions.
Ray Barone: Alright.
Ally Barone: And I have to make a diorama of a marine ecosystem.
Ray Barone: [He stands up] Baths! I'll do the baths. I'm gonna do the baths!


"Everybody Loves Raymond: Prodigal Son (#4.14)" (2000)
Debra Barone: Honey, show daddy what you drew.
Ray Barone: That's okay, I can figure it out.
[Ally hands Ray a drawing]
Ray Barone: Um, lets see. A big wall of red?
Ally Barone: No.
Debra Barone: Ally told me that was a picture of you in hell.


"Everybody Loves Raymond: Slave (#8.12)" (2004)
[Debra and Ray accidentally left the twins alone by themselves and came home to find them eating pancakes]
Frank Barone: [comes in] I smell pancakes!
Marie Barone: [examining the boys] Oh, my God! Are you OK?
Marie Barone: [also examining the boys] I'll never leave you boys again. It's OK, it's OK!
Frank Barone: Gimme some pancakes!
Ally Barone: [comes in from the kitchen] You want some pancakes, Grandpa?
Frank Barone: What the hell do you think I've been saying?


"Everybody Loves Raymond: All I Want for Christmas (#2.12)" (1997)
Ally Barone: Daddy, what's an appointment?
Raymond "Ray" Barone: Well honey, an appointment is when two people decide to meet.
Debra Barone: Like going to the dentist.
Ally Barone: Oh.
Raymond "Ray" Barone: So, sleeping with me is like going to the dentist?
Debra Barone: Well, we both say the same things. "Sit back, relax, you won't feel a thing".


"Everybody Loves Raymond: The Dog (#1.19)" (1997)
Ally Barone: What's that?
Ray Barone: Sweetie it's a doggie. Isn't he great?
Ally Barone: He smells.
Ray Barone: [to Debra] She says that about the twins and we keep them.