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: I'm a fuck-up and it's your fault! Dr. Finch
: That's right, Neil. Blame your father for your inability to focus. Direct all of that rage at me if it makes you feel better. Neil Bookman
: I can't focus because of the voices! I see you for what you are. Yeah. The camera never lies. No! My parents have given you thousands of dollars and I'm still sick! You have to help me get better! You know what I do! You have to help me get better! Dr. Finch
: You're right, Neil. You're right. I've done nothing, apparently. I've never pulled any strings, gotten you a scholarship to the University of Rochester to pursue your photographic interests. Absolutely nothing. Neil Bookman
: You just wanted to get rid of me. Why won't you let me live in this house and be a part of this family? Dr. Finch
: Because I am the patriarch! And when the patriarch says jump, you jump, goddamnit! You don't co-operate, Neil, and for that, you're punished! Neil Bookman
: That's not why you won't let me live in this house. You won't let me because you're afraid of me, aren't you? Of what I could do to you in the middle of the night while you're sleeping. Huh? You're afraid of me. Aren't you, Doctor? Dr. Finch
: Our time is up, Neil. I believe we've made a breakthrough today.
: I think he's a genius. Like when I was your age, and I'd have a rage seizure, he'd put on music to lower my blood pressure. Nat King Cole. "Stardust." Revolutionary sort of stuff, you know? Worked everytime. If he hadn't adopted me... shit, I don't know what I would've done.
: I'm gay, too. Neil Bookman
: Holy Mary, Mother Of God. So that's what this is about. You're gay? Augusten Burroughs
: Yeah. I thought Natalie had told you. Neil Bookman
: Small world, right? You and me. Crazy. Smoke? Here, let me light you. Want a ride home? Augusten Burroughs
: Please. Neil Bookman
: I won't go fast. Maybe.
[Cut to Augusten and Neil in bed
] Augusten Burroughs
: What just happened? Neil Bookman
: You think you're gay, right? That's what gay men do. Just wanted you to know what you're in for. Want a beer? Smoke? Augusten Burroughs
: You OK with what happened? Augusten Burroughs
: Yeah. Sure. Well, thanks for everything. Neil Bookman
: Thank you. Thank YOU for everything.
: "The Angry Nun" by Neil Bookman: "Bitch! Whore of Jesus! Dressed in black, you do not bleed, like a woman should bleed between the legs! But with your ruler, your crucifix of hatred, you strike my tender flesh! I bleed for you! Oh, mother." And then I-I ran out of ink. Deirdre Burroughs
: Good anger! It ended exactly at the right moment.
: [Finch wakes up and sees Neil standing over him with scissors
] Neil? What're you doing, son? Neil Bookman
: SHUT UP! I'm not your son! Natalie
: What the hell is going on? Dr. Finch
: It's all right.
[Neil drops the scissors and walks away crying
] Dr. Finch
: Neil? Neil! NEIL!
: Sorry, I don't eat pussy, PSYCHO.