Natalie Finch
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Quotes for
Natalie Finch (Character)
from Running with Scissors (2006)

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Running with Scissors (2006)
[from trailer]
Natalie: Are you ready?
Augusten Burroughs: For what?
Natalie: To play "Doctor."

Hope: You know Natalie, youre so oral, you'll never get to anal
Natalie: And youll never get a dick in your dried up cunt, you old maid!

Augusten Burroughs: Who's Terrence Maxwell, Natalie?
Natalie: I've never heard of him.
Augusten Burroughs: Tell me who he is. Tell me who he is.
Natalie: Shut up.
Augusten Burroughs: It kills you, doesn't it?
Natalie: Shut up.
Augusten Burroughs: Let it out!
Natalie: Shut up!
Augusten Burroughs: Tell me who he is, Natalie!
Natalie: Shut up!
Augusten Burroughs: Tell me so I don't feel so alone!
Augusten Burroughs: A little bit. How'd you meet him?
Natalie: Terrence started seeing my dad after his mom died. She left him everything. He was 41 when I was 13. He told me I was pretty. And he made me believe it. One day, he broke my collar bone, and I had to hitch-hike to the emergency room, and I passed out on the side of the road, and somebody found me. My dad told him that he'd press charges and that he'd go to jail unless he donated money to my college fund. Then he did. $75, 000.
Augusten Burroughs: That's so great. So if you'd just apply...
Natalie: My dad spent it. Every penny. So that the IRS wouldn't take this house. So... I do know what it's like, Augusten... to love somebody who doesn't deserve it. 'Cause they're all you have. God, I hate my life.
Augusten Burroughs: I hate this kitchen. I need high ceilings.
Natalie: Me too.
Augusten Burroughs: Let's get rid of it then. Let's take down the ceiling.

Dr. Finch: Everyone! Come quickly! Wake up! Wake up! A miracle! A miracle! A miracle has occured!
Agnes Finch: What're you looking at?
Natalie: Dad's morning shit.
Dr. Finch: See? See how the duplicoil is breaking out of the surface of the water? Holy Father.
Agnes Finch: Doctor, let me draw you a nice bath.
Dr. Finch: Agnes, go get a shoehorn. A shoehorn, Agnes.
Hope: But what does it mean, Dad?
Dr. Finch: It means our financial situation is turning around. It means things are looking upward. Literally, the shit is pointing out of the pot! Towards Heaven, to God. My turd is a direct communication from the Holy Father.
[Augusten and Natalie try to hide their laughter]
Dr. Finch: No, no, no, no, children. No. Laugh. Laugh! God is... He is the funniest man in the universe. Agnes, I want you to carefully remove this, take it outside, and let it dry in the sun. We're starting a shrine, Agnes. A shrine. Hope, let's prepare.

Dr. Finch: [Finch wakes up and sees Neil standing over him with scissors] Neil? What're you doing, son?
Neil Bookman: SHUT UP! I'm not your son!
Natalie: What the hell is going on?
Dr. Finch: It's all right.
[Neil drops the scissors and walks away crying]
Dr. Finch: Neil? Neil! NEIL!

[from trailer]
Hope: What are you guys doing?
[Augusten is wired with electrodes to his face]
Natalie: Electro-shock therapy.
Hope: Awesome!

Augusten Burroughs: I'm gay.
Natalie: Big deal.

Natalie: You know what, Augusten? I'm not gonna throw you a pity party. So fucking just get over yourself.
Augusten Burroughs: FUCK you, Natalie. You don't know what it's like to be sent away.
Natalie: You're right, I don't.
Augusten Burroughs: And you don't know what it's like to have a boyfriend that's just USING you.
Natalie: Lucky me.