Pete Monash
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Quotes for
Pete Monash (Character)
from Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004)

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Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004)
[Pete sums up the "Win a Date" contest]
Pete: Heaven is just a mouse click away.

[Pete gives Rosalee some parting advice before her big date]
Pete: Guard your carnal treasure.

Pete: I told you to guard your carnal treasure! You practically *chucked* it at him!

Pete: Tad Hamilton is an actor. How do you know he's not acting with you?

Pete: [to Tad] Like do you know she has six smiles? One when something really makes her laugh. One when she's making plans. One when she is laughing out of politeness. One when she is uncomfortable. One when she is making fun of herself. And one when... she's talking about her friends.

Angelica: Well is it love, big love, or great love?
Pete: What do you mean?
Angelica: Well, love you get over in two months, big love you get over in two years, and great love, well great love... changes your life. So which one is it?
[Pete laughs and takes a big gulp out of his drink]
Angelica: Oh my god, it's great love.
Pete: Yeah, that just great.

Pete: Rosie, there something I want to ask you...
[Tad walks in]
Pete: What is the worst thing that could happen to me right now?

Pete: Angelica?
[Angelica quickly comes running over]
Angelica: Yes, Pete, what is the object of your desire?
Pete: Um... we'd like another round of beers.
Angelica: Someday Pete, when I ask what you desire you will say: you, Angelica, *you* are the object of my desires.
Pete: Okay.
[pause]
Pete: I think we'll just take the beers for now.

Angelica: Well you got to win her back.
Pete: Believe me I have tried everything.
Angelica: Well what did she say, when you told her you loved her?
Pete: Ok maybe not everything.
Angelica: How did she react, when you kissed her?
Pete: Ok, maybe only two things.

Rosalee: What did you want to ask me?
Pete: Oh, it was nothing, it was nothing really. No, wait a minute, I remember what I was going to say.
[Pete kisses Rosie]
Pete: Rosie, I'm in love with you.

[at the airport]
Pete: I got you something.
[holds up can of Pringles]
Pete: You know, in case you don't want the prime rib in first class.

Pete: [about Tad] I bet you in his life he's slept with like what, 15, 20 women?
Rosalee: No way. That's not even physically possible.

Pete: [kisses Rosie] I love you, Rosie. I *always* have. If I've been a jerk this last week, it's because I've been fighting - I've been fighting for you. I don't want to lose you to Tad Hamilton, or anyone else. You're the one.

Pete: There's innocent, there's childlike and then there's asking for it!

Rosalee: [after Pete crashes into a pole] Oh, my God, are you okay?
Pete: Yeah, no I meant to do that.

Rosalee: So he's going to stay in the motel while he fixes up the farm.
Pete: Like, he's a farmer, all of a sudden?
Rosalee: I think he'll be a good farmer.
Pete: Rosie... He's from Malibu, California okay? The only thing they grow there... are breasts.

Tad: Well this barn sits on what they call the South 40. Yep. I'm not sure exactly how many acres that is... but... uh... I'm gonna guess that's a lot...
Pete: Yeah... I'm gonna guess 40.
Tad: Hmmmm... oh yeah...

Pete: [attempting to teach Tad how to chop wood with an ax] Ok... So... The trick is to take a full swing so as to as to split the log in one swift...
[Tad removes his shirt and reveals a muscular chest]
Pete: stroke... Okay...
[Peter removes his shirt to reveal a skinny chicken chest]
Pete: Yeah... Let's do this... Hey... so uh... you work out?
Tad: [shakes his head] Nah.
Pete: Yeah me neither, I know... it's like...
[shrugs]
Pete: me neither... Okay, uhh... so basically one, swift, stroke.
[swings ax and gets it caught in the wood ]
Pete: Ok... and sometimes you just... ya know... basically get a bad piece of wood... Basically...
[Tad chops wood with an ax all the way through]
Pete: And you know sometimes you don't... That's... that's uh... good... beginners luck... ya know... first time...
[Tad chops another piece of wood while Pete still struggles with the ax caught in his first piece]
Pete: Ah! And the luck continues... that's great... Good for you man...
Tad: Pete, did you ever see the movie I did called "The Man Named Jackson"?
Pete: If it came out Tad... then I saw it...
[Tad comes over to help Pete with the ax]
Pete: You know what... yeah, I think that the ax is actually broken...
[Tad pulls the ax out of the wood easily]
Pete: Yeah huh... that's great...
[Tad slaps Pete easily on his chicken chest]
Pete: Heh...

Pete: I cannot remember a time... BEFORE you started telling that story.
Rosalee: I was asked to provide a detailed explanation of the evening.
Pete: And you did, Rosie, you really did. I really felt like I was there... sort of against my will.

Pete: I'm telling you, she is more of a treasure than you could possibly know. She is not just some wholesome, small town girl, some like, good for you breath of fresh air. Tad, she is a wonderful person with a huge heart. And the kind of beauty that a guy only sees once, you know? Once! So Tad, if there is even a chance that you could break her heart, please, just for her sake, walk away man.
Tad: I could never break Rosalee's heart, ok?
Pete: Good. Because if you do I swear to God I will tear you to pieces with my bare hands. Or vicious rhetoric.
Tad: You're a good guy Pete.
Pete: Well yes. Apparently not good enough.