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Quotes for
P.O. Jason Tiner (Character)
from "JAG" (1995)

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"JAG: Critical Condition (#8.1)" (2002)
P.O. Jason Tiner: [entering the Admiral's office] Sir, it's Commander Rabb on the Seahawk.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [picking up the phone] Tell me it wasn't Bud! Damn it... Yeah... Yeah. Commander, I can't spare all of you. One can stay as a Seahawk JAG to re... replace Roberts. Decide who that'll be and keep me informed.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Tiner, where's the change of orders for the Seahawk JAG?
P.O. Jason Tiner: I don't have it yet, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Y-you don't have the paperwork, or you don't know who stayed?
P.O. Jason Tiner: It's not Commander Turner, sir. He called, he's on his way back.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Alone?
P.O. Jason Tiner: That's my understanding, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Damn it, I'll skin them.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Sir, Commander Turner said Colonel MacKenzie and Commander Rabb couldn't decide which one should take the JAG billet.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: So they both stayed.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Yes, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Draw up charges for disobeying a direct order.
P.O. Jason Tiner: [confused] Sir?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You want to join them, Tiner?
P.O. Jason Tiner: No, sir!
[Tiner turns to exit, but stops]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: What?
P.O. Jason Tiner: Sir, which one do I charge?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Both of them!

[TIner has explained to Singer his dilemma]
Lt. Loren Singer: Who's the senior officer?
P.O. Jason Tiner: Colonel Mackenzie by two months, ma'am.
Lt. Loren Singer: Charge Rabb. You can never go wrong charging the junior officer.


"JAG: In Country (#7.23)" (2002)
Lt. Loren Singer: Petty Officer Tiner! You're friends with Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie, aren't you?
P.O. Jason Tiner: Yes, ma'am.
Lt. Loren Singer: [gleefully] Then you should know that they've gone missing in Afghanistan.
P.O. Jason Tiner: [shocked] That's terrible.
Lt. Loren Singer: [cheerily] Yes, isn't it?

[Harriet emerges from the office where she decked Singer]
P.O. Jason Tiner: Is everything okay, ma'am?
Lt. Harriet Sims: [cheerily, while rubbing her fist] Perfect, Tiner.


"JAG: Collision Course (#6.12)" (2001)
P.O. Jason Tiner: Wow. That was actually a nice thing you did, ma'am.
Lt. Loren Singer: Are you kidding? Mikey Roberts can have that girl for *breakfast* for all I care!


"JAG: Lawyers, Guns and Money (#8.22)" (2003)
[after A.J.'s marriage proposal to Meredith fails]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was? She paid it! She paid the damn check! You told me you set it up! That they knew what was going on! It took me half an hour to-to-to trace the ring down. Some damn dishwasher was trying it on!
P.O. Jason Tiner: I am so sorry...
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Sorry, my ass! Listen, numbnuts, you stay out of it! You...
P.O. Jason Tiner: I'm sorry, Admiral. Next time...
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: No, hell no, there's no next time! You stay out of it. You just stay out of it! I'll take care of it myself!
P.O. Jason Tiner: Sir...
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Dismissed!
P.O. Jason Tiner: Aye, aye, sir.


"JAG: Family Business (#8.3)" (2002)
P.O. Jason Tiner: Lieutenant Singer, your itinerary, ma'am.
Lt. Loren Singer: Thank you, Tiner.
[Tiner stands at ease expectantly]
Lt. Loren Singer: Something else?
P.O. Jason Tiner: Wanted to congratulate you, ma'am. You'll do well on the Seahawk.
Lt. Loren Singer: Yes, I will.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Anything further I can do to expedite your departure, ma'am?
Lt. Loren Singer: Are you being friendly or eager?


"JAG: Shifting Sands (#9.2)" (2003)
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Tiner!
P.O. Jason Tiner: [Turns around] Sir!
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: [Tosses his cover to Tiner] For when you make Commander. May it bring you better luck than it did me.


"JAG: Ice Queen (#8.20)" (2003)
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: NCIS has discovered the remains of an unidentified JAG lieutenant in Potomac Park. Medical examiner estimates she's between four and five months pregnant.
Lt. Harriet Sims: Oh, my Lord, sir, I hope it's not Lieutenant Singer.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it can't be Lieutenant Singer. She's due in two weeks.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Have you been in contact with the lieutenant?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, I... Uh, no, sir. Not since she left three months ago. I was, uh... estimating.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm's right, sir. It couldn't be Loren. I mean the medical examiner wouldn't mis-estimate by four months.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: He hasn't conducted the autopsy yet. I assume the body's somewhat decomposed.
[knock on door]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Enter.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Excuse me, Admiral. I tried Lieutenant Singer's San Diego number and her cell phone, sir. Both have been disconnected, Admiral.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Thank you, Tiner.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Aye, aye, sir.
[Tiner exits]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, that doesn't look good.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, you're not writing her off, are you, sir?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You know, Commander, I may not personally know all seven hundred and fifty JAG officers under my command, but I damn sure would know if one was missing for three weeks.


"JAG: Yeah, Baby (#4.23)" (1999)
Lt. Harriet Sims: [Harm and Mac enter the Admiral's office after hearing a crash] He fainted!
P.O. Jason Tiner: No I didn't.
Lt. Harriet Sims: Like a school girl!


"JAG: Empty Quiver (#8.17)" (2003)
P.O. Jason Tiner: Sir, there's a dog in the hallway.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Yes, she's with me.
[loudly]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Come here, Damn it.
[Dog enters the room]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Sit, Damn it.
[dog sits down. Tiner leaves and closes the door]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You named the dog, Damn it?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: The name kind of found itself.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Damn it?
[Dog rises up and knocks over the folders on the desk]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, damn it.