Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.
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Quotes for
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr. (Character)
from "JAG" (1995)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"JAG: Boomerang: Part 2 (#5.16)" (2000)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Though we can't try you for Murder One again, I am going to *nail* you for desertion during a time of war!
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: I hope you go for the death penalty, mate!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Absolutely... mate.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Nah, you'll never get it, but life without parole's a slam dunk. Mr. Roberts, take this DESERTER on board!

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb and Brumby] At ease. Strip your blouses.
[after they've done so]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Don't come out until you've admistered pain equal to what you inflicted on Lt. Roberts. THAT IS AN ORDER!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Aye aye, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Aye aye, sir.

Captain Howell: [to Brumby] I don't know whether to KEEL HAUL or take the *CAT* to you!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb] After 10,000 miles *I* want to do *both*!
Captain Howell: [to Brumby] A Royal Australian Naval Officer does NOT behave like a pub crawling BRAWLER!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb] You struck a junior officer!
Captain Howell: [to Brumby] BROKE HIS BLOODY JAW!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb] IN TWO PLACES!
Captain Howell: [to Brumby] What *possible* excuse could you make to defend this *reprehensible* act?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr., Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: None, Sir!

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Commanders, will you accept a non-judicial punishment for your actions?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr., Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Yes, Sir!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Good! Cause you would have gotten it anyway!
[heading out the door]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Follow me!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr., Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Aye aye, Sir!

Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [Bud's speaking with a broken jaw] I don't know why the Admiral ordered you to fight.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I don't think it took too much forcing, Bud.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: With all due respect, ma'am, it's your fault. They were fighting over you.
[Mac nervously chuckles]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What'd he say?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: That, uh, you deserved what you got.
[Mac walks away]
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: That's not what I said, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Relax, Bud. I know you didn't say that. Whatever it was, you struck a nerve.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You work with the guy, Mac, you wouldn't go topless in front of me would you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [pause] Is that a request?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [pause] You know they wrote "Eternity" on this bridge... in lights... on New Year's Eve.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Is that how long we're going to wait?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Mac...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We're not in Washington. We're not even on the same continent!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Location doesn't change who we are.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Most men would disagree with you.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I know. I disagree with me sometimes too.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: But you still can't let go?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not yet.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You're just this way with me, aren't you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [nods] Yeah... Only with you.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [pause] I suppose I should be flattered.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You should, Sarah.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Colonel, are, um congratulations in order?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Uh. it's uh, on the right hand, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Ah.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Friendship ring?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: For now.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [Rabb is looking back as they're about to board the plane] Commander, never look back.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No, sir.
[gives the attendant his plane ticket, then glances back to Mic and Mac]

Toohey: BLOODY SEPPO MURDERER!
[Toohey decks Lee, Harm restrains Toohey, Lee hits Toohey, is then restrained by Mic]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Let him go, Brumby!
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: YOU let him go!
[Harm and Mic simultaneously release Toohey and Lee]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, God.
[Harm and Mic each prepare to throw a punch. Bud gets into the middle and ends up taking a blow to the jaw from each of them]

[Rabb and Brumby are back in court after their forced boxing match]
Judge: [noticing Rabb's facial injuries] Commander Rabb, have you been in an accident?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Rabb gets up] I have, Your Honor. But I'm quite ready to proceed.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: [Brumby gets up, with similar injuries] Same accident, Your Honour. but I too am ready.


"JAG: Boomerang: Part 1 (#5.15)" (2000)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [after driving on the wrong side of the road, Harm parallel parks on first try] My stepfather had a cottage in the Bahamas. That's where I learned how to drive.
[tosses the keys to Mic]
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [to Brumby after Rabb gets out] ... Sir, don't they drive on the left side in the Bahamas?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: [realising Rabb's driving errors were intentional] Bloody Hell!

Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Why would he ask for us, and not the Colonel?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Because he's one smart Dingo.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Why didn't somebody from his ship identify the body?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Harbour sharks had a feed on him.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: There are sharks in the harbor?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: This is Australia, mate. There's sharks in the bathtub.

Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [after talking to Kevin Lee] Commanders, I never appreciated how good you were at playing good cop/bad cop.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby, Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Who's playing?

Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: You afraid of me bein' alone down here with Mac, Harm?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know, Brumby, one of these days you and I are going to strip blouses.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Always assumed we would, mate. Question's only been when.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What do you want me to say? My father died doing his duty. You lived, running from yours.
Kevin Lee: If that's the way you feel, how can I trust that you won't let them hang me?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Because, like my father, I do my duty.


"JAG: Defensive Action (#1.13)" (1996)
Chief Petty Officer Ned Bannon: [of carrier aviation] You still miss it don't you, Sir?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Only when I'm back onboard. Or see a jet. Shaving in the morning, in my dreams, eating a pizza, watching a movie.

Commander Alison Krennick: The violation of a cease fire is an extremely serious matter.
Captain Thomas Boone: They are the violators! They were shooting at my men!
Commander Alison Krennick: If they were, and there's no evidence to support that, who ordered you to shoot back?
Captain Thomas Boone: No one. I did it on my own initiative.
Commander Alison Krennick: And who gave you the right to do that, Captain?
Captain Thomas Boone: The Navy, the day they gave me my command!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: CAG, we'll argue this in court. Not here.
Captain Thomas Boone: No lawyer's going to tell me how to exercise my command!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Sir, with all due respect, keep your mouth shut.

Captain 'Skipper' Ross: Well you've got your fly over Mr. Rabb. In a CH-53. Marines and known to jump out of them. Of course their nuts and a bit crazy. But then again so are some JAG lawyers I know.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes Sir.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well?
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: Well what Sir?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What was the Verdict?
Commander Alison Krennick: Amazingly it was 4 to 3... Not Guilty
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: It should have been unanimous.
[pulls the parachute from his vest. CAG sticks his finger through the hole]
Commander Alison Krennick: Well I'll Be...
Captain Thomas Boone: 20mm Round. Standard Ammunition on a Soviet Hind.
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: I sure like to see the faces of those who voted guilty right now.
Commander Alison Krennick: No Way of telling who they are.
Captain Thomas Boone: Oh i know who they are.
[Rabb and Cag Walk across the flight deck]
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: How does he know.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Rabb turns around]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: He's The CAG

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [being briefed about the CAG's situation] When do we leave, sir?
Commander Ted Lindsey: As soon as we light up. Please.
[Lindsey offers a box of cigars]
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: Wife have a baby, sir?
Commander Ted Lindsey: Not that I know of. This just came over from the Secretary of the Navy. Congratulations, Lieutenant Commander Rabb.
[Excited, Meg hugs Harm and kisses him on the cheek]
Commander Ted Lindsey: Sure makes me wish you were around when I got my promotion, Lieutenant.


"JAG: Back in the Saddle (#9.6)" (2003)
[Harm has been fired]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: This has Webb written all over it. So, I guess using you as a reference is out of the question, huh?
Allen Blaisdell: Anybody calls, they get the standard response.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I never worked for the company, you never heard of me.

[reviewing all of Cmdr. Imes' overturned convictions]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Will you help me, or do you have some secret mission to fly?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Webb didn't tell you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We don't spend a lot of time talking about you.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Gee, that's a surprise. He canned me.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What? I just saw you all over the TV.
[realization dawns on Mac]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh.

Catherine Gale: By the way, does Colonel MacKenzie know about our *marriage*?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh... uh... I don't know... I might have mentioned it.
Catherine Gale: That's why I got the look.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What look?
Catherine Gale: The 'get away from my man' look.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh... *That* look

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You're bordering on insubordination, Rabb.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm a civilian now, A.J. I'm not in your Navy.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You're here, Admiral, because you *need* me. I'm an excellent lawyer. Plus, the officer you chose to replace me is looking at seven years of hard labor.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: All of that is true. If you come back, we'll start fresh. Let me know what you decide.


"JAG: Fair Winds and Following Seas (#10.22)" (2005)
Harm: Mac and I have an announcement to make... We're getting married.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: Congratulations!
Major General Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Outstanding! I knew you'd come around to the Marines.
Mac: In either London or San Diego.
Harm: For this marriage to be successful, one of us has to give up our commission.
Mac: No surprise, we couldn't decide which one.
Harm: So we'll let fate decide. Bud.
Bud: When Admiral Chedwidden retired, he gave me his JAG coin.
[pulls out coin]
Bud: And I thought this would be the perfect moment to use it.
[Shows one side]
Bud: This is the side with heads.
[Shows other side]
Bud: There is tails. Bride to be will call.
Mac: [exhales] Tails.
Bud: Always wanted to do this at the Superbowl. Here goes.
[tosses the coin in the air]

Midshipman Mike 'Mikey' Roberts: Have you ever been in love?
Harm: If you're looking for relationship advice, Mikey, you should talk to your brother.
Midshipman Mike 'Mikey' Roberts: I tried that sir, but Bud doesn't want to talk to me about it.
Harm: Why not?
Midshipman Mike 'Mikey' Roberts: Uh, it- it concerns General Cresswell's daughter.
Harm: Have you lost your mind?

Mac: You, uh, talked to Maddie?
Harm: Yeah. That was the first call I made.
Mac: She told you to go?
Harm: Yes.
Mac: What'd you say?
Harm: I told her I wasn't going anywhere without her. We're still waiting for the ruling in Juvinelle court, however her father isn't contesting so...
Mac: You're a good dad.

Mac: He, uh, finally told you he's not going?
Harm: Well, you know, once Harriette makes up his mind. That's pretty much it.

Harm: Mac, we have 12 hours.
Mac: We've had 9 years.
Harm: I guess maybe, I just needed a deadline.
Mac: Well, you got one sailor.
[pause. Harm and Mac kiss]
Mac: What are you proposing? And that's not a Freudian slip.
Harm: I'm proposing. Let's get married.


"JAG: Mixed Messages (#7.5)" (2001)
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [Rene breaks up with Rabb] It's not your fault.
Rene Peterson: I know. I'm a catch!

Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [the convening authority is dropping the case] Sir, I WANT this one!
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You *can't* have it!

Special Agent Clayton Webb: Hello, Harm.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: What brings you here, Webb?
Special Agent Clayton Webb: Helping a friend in the building.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: I didn't know you *had* a friend in the building.

[a large sum of money has inexplicably appeared in the bank account of Harm's friend]
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Did Rick have a relative, anybody who might have given him this kind of money?
Michelle Stoechler: No. And if he did, he would have told me.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Michelle, I need to find out how that money got into his account.
Michelle Stoechler: Look, he wasn't selling information.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: I didn't say that he was.
Michelle Stoechler: You were thinking it.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Look, Michelle, there are issues outside of this money.
Michelle Stoechler: What issues?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: I wish I could tell you, but because of the sensitivity of this intelligence...
Michelle Stoechler: Or the lack of. I'm on my way to pick up the suits that Daniel and Sam are going to wear to their father's funeral, and you come here with this. Do you know how pathetic it is for you to blame Rick when he's not even here to defend himself?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Michelle, I'm trying to clear his name.


"JAG: The Stalker (#3.17)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [after Mac makes some drunken comments] You're not just a drunk. You're a *mean* drunk.

Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [about her drunken rant at Harm] I said some horrible things to you.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [brushing it off] I've had worse things said. Forget about that.

Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What are you doing?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Calling you a cab.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harmon Rabb, Jr. So righteous. So pure. You never had a weak moment in your life, did you?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm going to wait outside.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, wait a minute. I forgot. Yeah, you have had weak moments, of course. Your long lost father. Neurotic Annie.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know you're not just a drunk. You're a mean drunk.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Coster. I had a bad feeling about you.
Detective Frank Coster: You should learn to trust your instincts, Rabb.


"JAG: A New Life: Part 2 (#1.2)" (1995)
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Kate?
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: Harm! What's happening?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No time to explain, just listen. Cassie is Lobo.
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: N-no, Angela was Lobo.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No, Angela was wearing Cassie's jacket when she went over the side. In the rain and the dark, she was mistaken for Cassie.
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: Ripper.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Has to be. Kate, he's gotta know we're gonna put this together, and the last thing I need tonight is a wave-off.
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: You're *flying*?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [sarcastically] You really know how to build a guy's confidence, Kate.

Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [concerning his last mission with Arutti] One more question, were you testing *her guts* or *yours*?
Captain Thomas Boone: [angrily] Because of your old man, I didn't hear that! But if you would care to REPEAT IT!

Captain 'Skipper' Ross: [increduluous] You believe Lt. Arutti was murdered, but you can't prove it!
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, sir.
Captain 'Skipper' Ross: If I ran the Seahawk the way you run your investigation, I'd be skippering a submarine at DISNEYLAND!

[Mace confronts Rabb outside the COD]
Lt. Mace: You're out of uniform, Harm.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Come on, Mace. I've got a board of inquiry to get to.
Lt. Mace: That's *not* what I mean.
[Mace pins a pair of gold wings onto Rabb's uniform]
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Thanks, Mace.


"JAG: Ice Queen (#8.20)" (2003)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How long you been doing this, Gibbs?
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: 19 years.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Can you tell somebody's lying by looking them in the eye.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I can.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, look into mine. Ask me. Ask me!
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Would you kill for your brother?

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: So, what makes you think that I would be involved in any other way than professionally with Lt. Singer?
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're more comfortable asking questions than you are answering them, huh?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I guess I'm not used to being a suspect.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Suspect? Who said you were a suspect? Have I read you your Article 31 rights?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No, you haven't. Which means you're playing a very risky game, Gunny.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I'm not smart enough to play risky games with a lawyer of your caliber, Rabb.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: That's "Commander Rabb." Or "Commander," or "Sir." *Gunny*. I believe, as a reservist, you're still technically in the Marine Corps.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I am an NCIS Special Agent, and I don't have to salute you, or "sir" you, or give you any military courtesy. But you know that. So who's playing the games here?

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: NCIS has discovered the remains of an unidentified JAG lieutenant in Potomac Park. Medical examiner estimates she's between four and five months pregnant.
Lt. Harriet Sims: Oh, my Lord, sir, I hope it's not Lieutenant Singer.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it can't be Lieutenant Singer. She's due in two weeks.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Have you been in contact with the lieutenant?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, I... Uh, no, sir. Not since she left three months ago. I was, uh... estimating.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm's right, sir. It couldn't be Loren. I mean the medical examiner wouldn't mis-estimate by four months.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: He hasn't conducted the autopsy yet. I assume the body's somewhat decomposed.
[knock on door]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Enter.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Excuse me, Admiral. I tried Lieutenant Singer's San Diego number and her cell phone, sir. Both have been disconnected, Admiral.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Thank you, Tiner.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Aye, aye, sir.
[Tiner exits]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, that doesn't look good.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, you're not writing her off, are you, sir?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You know, Commander, I may not personally know all seven hundred and fifty JAG officers under my command, but I damn sure would know if one was missing for three weeks.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I don't know who fathered Lieutenant Singer's baby, and I don't know who murdered her. So what else, Gibbs?
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What'd your investigation show?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Hey, you were there. The admiral ordered me to stay out of this.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Oh, I'm referring to the investigation you gave Commander Manetti to do on Lieutenant Singer's love life, prior to her deployment.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [in the observation room with Vivian] Oops.
Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Yeah, "oops" is right. Without reading him his rights, we're gonna lose all this stuff in court.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No, no, no. We got this stuff, Viv. Gibbs is setting Rabb up.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, Colonel MacKenzie's investigation into Lieutenant Singer's pregnancy wasn't going well. Mac and I are old friends, I thought I'd help.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Reasonable answer.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yeah, the truth usually is.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: So, you wouldn't mind giving us a DNA sample?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: For what purpose?
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Paternity test.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I didn't even *like* Lieutenant Singer!
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I wouldn't say that during a murder investigation.


"JAG: Yeah, Baby (#4.23)" (1999)
Harm: [to Mac] Tell you what. Five years from this moment if neither us are in a relationship, we go have ourselves a kid.
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You and me? Have a baby together?
Harm: Yeah, with your looks and my brains he'll be perfect.
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: And what if SHE has YOUR looks and MY brains?
Harm: That could work too.
[pause]
Harm: So what do you say. Deal?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Don't make a promise you can't keep.
Harm: I haven't yet.
[they shake hands]

Harm: You okay?
Mac: Every time I think I've put the pieces of my life back together somebody comes along and jumbles them back up. Every body who has ever meant anything to me is leaving my life.
Harm: You'll be okay, Mac. You'll get to see Chloe again. One day you'll have kid of your own.
Mac: Yeah that's right. My biological clock is going off and I keep hitting the snooze button.
Harm: Tell you what... five years from this moment if neither of us is in a relationship, we'll go have ourselves a kid.
Mac: You and me? Have a baby together?
Harm: Yeah, with your looks and my brains... he'll be... perfect.
Mac: And what if she has your looks and my brain?
Harm: That could work too. So what do you say? Deal?
Mac: Don't make a promise you can't keep.
Harm: I haven't yet.
[Mac and Harm shake hands]

Harm: [Harm's cell phone rings] Hello? Yeah. Harriett, it's for you.
[hands her the cell phone]
Lt. Harriet Sims: Me? Hello. BUD WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

Harm: You've delivered a baby?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Yeah it's a piece of cake. Delivered dozens of 'em back home in Aus. Sort of comes with living in the Outback.
Harm: Really? You ever deliver one in a hospital full of terrorists?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: I'll get the measuring stick out later boys!


"JAG: Death Watch (#3.19)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You only look like her, Mac. Your personalities are like night and day.

[Harm reminds Holbarth of the events two years prior]
Cmdr. Holbarth: Oh, yeah. The Schonke case. The fallout from that cost me a command.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: It cost Lt. Schonke her life!

[Harms shows Holbarth a letter proving him guilty of rape and murder]
Cmdr. Holbarth: [scoffs] You'll get laughed right out of court.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [pulls a gun] I'm not going to court.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: HARM! DON'T!
Cmdr. Holbarth: [Mac is wearing a Naval uniform] Oh my God! Schonke!
Cmdr. Holbarth: [starts backing away] Please! I'm sorry, Diane. I didn't mean to... AAAAAAHHHHHHH!
[Holbarth falls off the dock, getting crushed between the dock and the ship]

[Holbarth is dead]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: He thought you were Diane's ghost.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I didn't even think. I was soaking wet. Bud loaned me one of Harriet's uniforms...
[Harm kisses her passionately]
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I know. You were kissing Diane.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [beat] Would you have killed him?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: We'll never know.


"JAG: Answered Prayers (#7.11)" (2001)
Admiral Chegwidden: Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, et al., versus the United States Navy. Tiner, is this a joke?
Harm: I can see the headlines now, Admiral. "Navy grounds Santa Claus".

P.O. Jennifer Coates: I didn't steal that witch's bracelet!
Harm: That's Lt. Witch to you.

P.O. Jennifer Coates: [giving Harm a holiday kiss on the cheek] Can they throw me in the brig for that?
Harm: Yes.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: [smiling] It was worth it.

Harm: [At the end of a meeting with Coates' father] Sorry to put you through that.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: Don't pity me, sir. Don't you dare


"JAG: Déjà Vu (#1.5)" (1995)
[Meg learns the Thai ambassador's wife spent the night at Harm's apartment]
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You're making assumptions.
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: Oh, you're saying you didn't sleep with her?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You are way out of line, Lieutenant.

Colonel Patano: [catching Harm spying on the Thai embassy] You're on Thai property, Lieutenant. I could reach out, break your neck, and the police could do nothing!
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You'd never get that close, Colonel. Not in one piece.
Colonel Patano: Have you ever killed a man, Lieutenant? Looked in his eyes, watched the life go out of him?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Is that what you did to Lieutenant Harbin? Or did you hold him and the ambassador stick the knife in his chest?
Colonel Patano: The ambassador did not kill your lieutenant, and neither did I.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Is he just jealous of Angelique, or would he kill over her maid, too?
Colonel Patano: We do not kill over women. That is a... Western weakness.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You just beat the women instead.
Colonel Patano: You've spoken to Angelique. In embassy circles, clarity is often obscured by diplomacy. So let me be clear: you come near the Sonsiris again, and there will be another dead Navy lieutenant.

Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: The only reason I'm not flying jets is because of my eyes. They test fine, but under certain conditions, like landing on a carrier at night, forget it.
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: Night blindness?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: There's a lot of things you're blind to. But you don't realize it until it's too late.


"JAG: Heroes (#2.4)" (1997)
Mac: If you have some evidence I should know about...
Harm: You'll eventually get it, and then you can plea bargain.
Mac: In your dreams Commander.
Harm: Ohh, you don't want to be in my dreams, Major?
Mac: Red light, Commander!
Harm: Red light? There was nothing sexual in what I said, and if you think there was, then maybe I should be giving you the red light

Harm: Well, I thought it was pretty funny when you ducked under the table.
Mac: I'm a Marine, Harm. Marines don't duck.
Harm: What do Marines do?
Mac: They take cover, but they never duck.

Mac: What on earth were you thinking?
Harm: I was trying to make a point.
Mac: You blew a hole in the roof!
Harm: I guess I overdid it.


"JAG: Contemptuous Words (#5.9)" (1999)
SecNav Alexander Nelson: [after Rabb has been promoted to a Full Commander] Commander... Rabb, have you ever *once* in your life done things the easy way?
Harm: No, sir. Not once.

Harm: Found all this very amusing, don't you?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: No, I don't.
Harm: Well, you haven't stopped smiling since I came in here.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Because you've accused me of libeling the President of the United States. And framing one of my fellow officers for the deed. And if I didn't find this all very amusing, I might take a poke at you, mate.

Harm: Bud, you helped me out of loyalty and friendship. Everybody else has a price.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: I'm sure you'll do the right thing, sir.


"JAG: All Ye Faithful (#8.11)" (2002)
Admiral Thomas Boone: You see Jennifer Lopez twice a year?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Every time I get my teeth cleaned. She's my dental hygienist.

CAG USS Coral Sea: The inspector general is on his way to the ship for a surprise visit. He wants to question my pilots, see if they're battle-ready. That makes you eligible for the Lakehurst run, Commander.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, sir.
CAG USS Coral Sea: I prefer it would be you, Admiral, but you're no longer cleared to fly front seat.
Admiral Thomas Boone: You have nothing to worry about, CAG.
CAG USS Coral Sea: Enjoy your holidays.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: CAG, about your aircraft...
CAG USS Coral Sea: No soft-focus moments, Commander. I will not allow you to undermine a perfectly valid level of resentment. You get her up, and bring her down.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, sir.
CAG USS Coral Sea: And if you do anything other than fly to your established destination... I will personally see to it that your wings are yanked.

Admiral Thomas Boone: Between us, we've logged more flight time than anyone in this airwing.
CAG USS Coral Sea: And if the commander hadn't dumped a $40 million aircraft into the Atlantic last year, I would be satisfied with that answer, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: A mishap review board cleared me of pilot error, Captain.
CAG USS Coral Sea: I read the report. Don't agree.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: The aircraft had taken a hard landing, CAG.
CAG USS Coral Sea: And she was in flying condition at the time she left the deck.
Admiral Thomas Boone: Well, you weren't sitting in his seat at the time, CAG.
CAG USS Coral Sea: I was a week earlier, sir. The plane was my ride. I was waiting for her at Pax River at the time.


"JAG: Pilot Error (#1.6)" (1995)
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: If APTERN is flawed, finding the flaw will save lives. And that is our ultimate responsibility.
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: [half-smiling] You sound like my dad.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Uh oh. I'm in trouble when you start comparing me to your father.
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: My brother?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Even worse.

Josh Pendry: Did you fly with my daddy?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: A long time ago.
Josh Pendry: He was the best, wasn't he?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, he was.
Josh Pendry: Why did he crash?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I don't know, Josh. But I'm gonna find out.

Commander Dale Bishop: People make mistakes. A man shouldn't have to risk losing his career for one mistake.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No, sir. If I can't prove it wasn't pilot error, Mr. Reid will make public what he believes to be true. It's hard enough for a boy to grow up without his father. He shouldn't have to be ashamed of him, too.


"JAG: Retreat, Hell (#6.16)" (2001)
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: He said you were actually fair.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Well you're going to marry him, so it's only natural for us to get along.
Lt Bud Roberts jr: Sir, about that M.R.I...

Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [Harm is fantasizing that Mac is dressed in a slinky dress] It's going to rain this afternoon. Perfect weather for making love.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [holding an ice pack to his head] Well, you would know, sweet thing.
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [comes around the side his desk dressed in her uniform] Harm? Harm? Are you ok?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: I'm fine.
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You called me sweet thing.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Well, why would I call you that.

Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [after another vision of Mac] I'm losing my mind.


"JAG: Shifting Sands (#9.2)" (2003)
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Tiner!
P.O. Jason Tiner: [Turns around] Sir!
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: [Tosses his cover to Tiner] For when you make Commander. May it bring you better luck than it did me.

Special Agent Clayton Webb: So what did you have to do? Beg the Admiral to let you back in? Or did he just pin another medal on your chest?
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: I'm out.
Special Agent Clayton Webb: [turns to Mac in disbelief, then faces Harm] Wow!

Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: [after Harm gets a phone call] Job offer?
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: C.I.A. They want to see me tommorrow at 0800.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: What did you *do*, buddy?


"JAG: We the People (#2.1)" (1997)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I keep forgetting I don't know you.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Deja vu again?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Only whenever I see your face, or I hear you talk. I wouldn't know about your smile; I haven't seen one yet.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: There's not much to smile about.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I guess not.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sounds like I have a twin out there.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not anymore.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Mr. Roberts, do you know any military protocol for entering a vehicle with a senior officer?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Sir, yes, sir. One of the first things I learned at NROTC. When entering a vehicle with a senior officer, the junior officer enters first and the senior officer last, so when exiting the vehicle, the senior officer can exist first and the junior officer last.
[Bud smiles]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You're the junior officer, Bud.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Colonel O'Hara is your uncle and you didn't tell me?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I thought you knew and were playing it cagey.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm not that devious, Mac.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, well, somebody is. I got pulled off a double murder case to work this investigation and I doubt it was because of my vast experience with mail holdups in Arizona.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it wasn't the admiral. He shoots straight from the shoulder. Webb, on the other hand, is probably devious taking a leak.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Harm pulls out his cell phone] Who are you calling?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Admiral Chegwidden.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Wait a minute. What happens when you tell the admiral that Colonel O'Hara's my uncle?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: He'll ask you where he might be.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And I'll refuse to answer.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I wouldn't do that, Mac. Not to Admiral Chegwidden. He's liable to charge you with dereliction of duty.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And he'd have every right. So please, don't make the call.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Then I'll be the one withholding information.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: If Webb and that FBI SWAT team get a hold of him, who knows what'll happen? So far, no one's been hurt. Give me a chance to keep it that way.


"JAG: Adrift: Part 2 (#7.1)" (2001)
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Brumby's leaving the country] He can't get past this thing with us.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Maybe because *we* can't.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: So... so I heard you jumped my bones in sick bay.
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Rumor.

Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Can I try, doctor? He knows me.
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Harm. Harm! Harm. Harm, It's cold down here. And I need you. I can't do it all by myself. Help me Harm, come on, You promised you'd help me. I'm holding you to that. I can't swim very well. You have to help me!
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: [beat] Commander can you hear me!
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: [beat] Take that thing off! Take it off!
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: [getting very close to Harm's face] Save me.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: [in a faint raspy voice] I'm... trying.
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Don't let go. Don't let go!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Hi
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Hi yourself.
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Keep talking!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: I... can't... breathe.
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Oh, I'm sorry...
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Have we dated?
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: You're gonna be ok...


"JAG: Rules of Engagement (#5.2)" (1999)
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: Ask the Commander, he'll tell you ma'am.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Tell me what?
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: What I did, why I did it. He understands, I told him what happened.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You told him everything?
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: Yes, ma'am.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Well then, you just added him to my witness list.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Wait a minute...
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: You can't do that!
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Actually, I can.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, she can, but she really doesn't want to.
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: Because Commander Rabb, is my *lawyer*.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: WHAT?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: I thought you quit JAG?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I did quit JAG! I can't be your lawyer!
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: You already are, sir. I told you things confidentidentially, and you gave me legal advice?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: He did? YOU DID!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Uh, well uh, maybe a little.
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: You're my man, Pappy.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Well, PAPPY, I'll be seeing you in court!

Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: Sir, they're sending me to a FENAB. They want to ground me!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well what did you expect, Buxton? A promotion?
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: You have to help me, sir!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Actually, I'll be testifying against you.
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: AGAINST me? I-I just heard you in court, talking about my intelligence, my initiative, how they had to acquit.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I was your lawyer. It's my job to get you off.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: We're not the same. I'm not reckless. I don't fly stupid.
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: That's what it about, huh? You know I'm better than you and you can't stand it.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I wouldn't care if you were the greatest pilot in the world. You inspire those guys
[the other other pilots]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: to pull the same stunts that you pull, then you're a menace. Not to the enemy! But to THEM. To US!
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: They can't do this. The X-man HAS to fly.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not any more, Andy. Not any more.


"JAG: Goodbyes (#4.24)" (1999)
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Did you think you'd sneak away without saying "goodbye?"
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Why "goodbye" not "good luck?"
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Didn't I say that to you when I was *stupid* enough to leave JAG?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Yes, you did.
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You said you were happy for me.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: I was. But that was different, you were in love.
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: And you're not?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: What has love got to do with anything?

Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Damn it. I have *so* much I want to say to you, but I can't - can't find the words.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: I know.
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Damn you. Why am *I* the only one crying?

Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: ...he was telling me about this ageing retread...
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Ageing retread?


"JAG: Mishap (#5.10)" (1999)
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: I must remember this new defense strategy, Skates. Tell the members to go to Hell.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: It only works if you're innocent, Mic.

Capt. Tobias Ingles: Your closing, Commander, was that a lawyer's trick or did you mean what you said?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Well I always mean what I say, sir.
[Ingles nods starts to walk away]
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Captain.
[Ingles turns around]
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Should the opportunity arise, sir, I'd be honored to serve under your command again.
Capt. Tobias Ingles: I'd like to have you back, Commander.


"JAG: Ghost Ship (#3.1)" (1997)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Harm is piling the research work on Bud] Harm, Bud's been at it non-stop for thirty-two hours and twenty-four minutes.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How do you *do* that?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: My mother's Swiss.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Admiral, the void is sealed during construction. How would a body get in there?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Well, the same way as it did on the Great Eastern, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Enlighten us, Mr. Roberts.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: She was a double-hulled ship, too, sir. While she was under construction, a shipyard worker fell asleep in the void and was accidentally sealed inside. They said you could hear him pounding for years!
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [skeptically] Years, Bud?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Well, obviously it was his ghost, ma'am.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Obviously!


"JAG: Cabin Pressure (#5.14)" (2000)
Lt. Jenarette: Well what happened down there was a... was a miracle
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, Lieutenant, that's a bit of an overstatement.
Lt. Jenarette: Sir, what I mean, sir. The tank you grabbed, it was practically empty. I just checked. You had maybe 15 seconds of air left, sir. You must have misread the gage.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [to the Admiral] Well I'd say you nailed it, sir
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Yeah.

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [on the phone with Harm] How are you?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Mac, take my mind off of this.
[Harm holds out the phone]
Petty Officer Mark DeMara: [offscreen] This is serious negligence that...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, petty officer Chinick was conducting his business in the main machinery room. Another petty officer on her afternoon watch saw De Mara leaving. When she went inside, she discovered the body. Could have been a deal gone bad.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Bad enough to provoke murder?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Why don't you talk to De Mara?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I would, but he's a little preoccupied with his mortality at the moment.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Is he getting worse?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: To say he's unstable would be an insult to unstable people.


"JAG: Full Engagement (#2.8)" (1997)
Harm: Come on, let's go
Mac: I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.
Harm: What do you mean, you can't? You're a Marine. Come on, Mac. What happened to that gung ho, semper fi, kickass jarhead I used to know? Don't let me down now Mac. We've made it this far. Damn it. This is precisely why we shouldn't allow women in combat 'cause when it comes to the clinch you know they're going to fall apart. If you were a real Marine...
Mac: All right already. Shut up. You've made your point!

Harm: Men have been naming airplanes after their women since the Wright Brothers.
Mac: This isn't 1908, Harm.
Harm: Three. They flew in 1903.


"JAG: Vanished (#3.6)" (1997)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: In one way or another, we're all searching for something.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh yeah? What are you searching for?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: What every woman wants. A great career, a good man, and comfortable shoes, lots and lots of them.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know, when the Admiral first told me he was partnering me with a Marine major I had these visions of a tattooed jarhead, challenging me to arm wrestling at lunch hour.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Well, I do have a tattoo, I'm a pretty good arm wrestler, and although I don't like the term, I am technically a jarhead.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up! You have a tattoo? How come I've never seen it? Now, where would one find this tattoo?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [back pedaling fast] I'm afraid that's classified information, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh yeah? You have a tattoo!


"JAG: Drop Zone (#5.20)" (2000)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Rabb is dreaming Rene and Mac are Kickboxing] Ladies to your corners!
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You go to YOUR corner, HORMONE!

Lt. Loren Singer: May I say something, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Go ahead.
Lt. Loren Singer: I'm aggressive, and I'm an overachiever. I know that about myself, and I don't pretend otherwise. I realize I'm the brunt of snide comments and jokes among the office staff, but I can't change who I am. However, I'm not a thief nor a liar. Short of that, I'll use whatever means necessary to achieve my goal.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Which is?
Lt. Loren Singer: To be the first female Judge Advocate General. Sir.


"JAG: Imposter (#3.20)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: [after Mac pinches Harm's face] What was that for?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Just checking. One Harmon Rabb in my life is enough.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: MORE than enough!

Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Who did this, sir?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Special agent Clark Palmer.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Oh man, I really hate that guy!


"JAG: Shadow (#1.3)" (1995)
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: I can decipher computer codes in as little as 30 seconds, sir.
Harm: And as long as?
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: Three days, but that was in Chinese.

Weapons Officer: [learning Harm was an aviator] What'd you fly, Lieutenant?
Harm: Tomcats.
Weapons Officer: From Tomcats to JAG?
Harm: I broke one. They wouldn't give me another one.
Weapons Officer: [snickering] How'd you do that?
Harm: Night vision problem.
Weapons Officer: Tough break.
Harm: I can live with it.


"JAG: Critical Condition (#8.1)" (2002)
Harm: [On board the USS Guadalcanal waiting for the outcome of Bud's surgery] Just once I'd like you not to have a comeback.
Mac: I don't have one to Bud's dying.

P.O. Jennifer Coates: I had my back to him when I heard the explosion. When I got to him, he was covered with blood, and his right leg was gone. I put on a tourniquet, but it wouldn't stop bleeding. All I could do was get him out to the helo as fast as possible.
Mac: Well, it sounds like you saved his life, petty officer.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: Not if he doesn't make it.
Harm: He'll make it. He'll make it.


"JAG: Brig Break (#1.8)" (1995)
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: So, why aren't you handling this Quinn defense?
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: Believe me, I wanted to. But Major Aspinal's taken over the provost marshal's office here, and he's one by-the-book Marine.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Nothing wrong with that.
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: Listen to you! You threw away the book when you were sixteen.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not true. I just read a different book.

Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: What are you doing?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Going after my partner.
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: Major Aspinal ordered us to start an investigation.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: He suggested, Kate. I don't have to follow suggestions.
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: To him, a suggestion is as good as an order.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Damn it! They have my partner! I'm sorry, Kate, but if that was you out there, would you want me to start an investigation or come after you?
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: [pause] You got another weapon in there?


"JAG: Force Recon (#2.11)" (1997)
Captain Koonan: [Harm is undercover as Gunnery Sgt Post] There's only *one* thing I want to know, Gunny. How did my men perform?
Harm: *Outstanding*, sir!
Captain Koonan: How can that be, Gunnery Sergeant Post? My men ended up in the brig! Did you see any Rangers in the brig, First Sergeant Creed?
First Sergeant Creed: Not one Ranger, sir.
Harm: Rangers are in Sick Bay, sir!
Captain Koonan: I see!

Sgt Major Sauer: [Harm is knocking on his door] You will address me as 'sir', recruit! Do you understand?
Harm: I'm Commander...
Sgt Major Sauer: DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Harm: [coming to attention] Yes, sir.
Sgt Major Sauer: Good! Because you are one of the most miserable specimens I have ever seen! There is no way in hell I'm gonna be able to correct what God has so badly screwed up! There is not enough time, unless you listen to every word that I say. Do you understand?
Harm: Yes, sir.
Sgt Major Sauer: Good. Then repeat back what I have just told you.
Harm: Every word?
Sgt Major Sauer: Are you making a joke, recruit?
Harm: No, sir!


"JAG: Dream Team (#10.21)" (2005)
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: So, the dolphin did come back?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Apparently.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: What's going to be the charge?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sturgis hasn't decided yet.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Hasn't decided what?
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Oh, sir. You've got to hear this. It's ridiculous.
[off Mac's look]
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: In a serious sort of way, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm representing Seaman Apprentice Charles Bander. He released two Navy dolphins from a marine mammal deployment center.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Why?
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: They think he did it on porpoise, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He felt he owed them a debt.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: You know, kind of a squid pro quo, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He was caught by one of the trainers in the dolphins' pen with a bucket of fish.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Red herring, probably. You know, trying to avoid pursuit.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: One more fish joke, and I'll have you filleted.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What happened to the dolphins?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, they, uh, came back on their own.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: What would you charge him with, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, there's, uh, Article 96: Releasing a prisoner without authorization.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You enjoying yourselves?
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: [entering] Room for one more?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, if you promise no fish jokes.
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: Oh, not even one, just for the halibut?

[last lines]
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: I'd like to table our regular order of business. There's been a new development. With the, uh, CNO and commandant's blessing, SECNAV is standing up a prototype Joint Legal Service Center. Navy and Marine lawyers in the field under one command. Colonel MacKenzie... you've been selected for command of that unit. Your orders.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sir, I... I don't know what to say.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: It's Joint Legal Service Center Southwest. You'll be stationed in San Diego.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: San Diego, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it's, uh, only five hours away.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Wouldn't make my vacation plans just yet, Commander. Hope you like Yorkshire pudding.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Force Judge Advocate, Naval Forces Europe?
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: You'll be stationed in London. You have two days' travel, four days' proceed. By the way, it's a captain's billet. The 0-6 board just reported out. Frocking's been authorized. Congratulations, Captain Rabb.


"JAG: Family Business (#8.3)" (2002)
[after Bud provides Harm with a vital clue to his case]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: There is a God, Bud. You know how I know?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: How, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: 'Cause he only took your leg. He didn't take your head.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Why the hell didn't I know you'd been charged with hitting your wife?
GSGT Joe Akers: It was handled in-house, sir. It's not even in my service record book.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it's a matter of public record now, Gunny.
GSGT Joe Akers: I'm sorry, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I don't want your apologies! I want your cooperation. Do you have any idea what Colonel MacKenzie's trying to do in there? She's trying to establish that you, not your wife, is the one prone to violence.
GSGT Joe Akers: Sir, it was a one-time thing... we were
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, what about the fight with Sergeant Gerard?
GSGT Joe Akers: I told you about that.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yeah, but you didn't tell me it happened three days after the initial incident. It suggests premeditation! It tells the members you're capable of holding a grudge and plotting revenge!
GSGT Joe Akers: So what does this mean, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: It means the death penalty just came into play.
[Akers reacts in shock]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: It's unlikely... but there's not a lot of sympathy out there for wife beaters.


"JAG: Soul Searching (#4.22)" (1999)
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: A car is strictly transportation to me. I don't *need* it to define my sexuality.
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Well, otherwise you'd be driving a Humvee.

Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Why don't you, uh, come with me and pick out w new car with Harriett and Bud?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Uh - Isn't that something *Jordy* should be doing?
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [scoffs] Mac, you pick out a car with your girlfriend, you might as well buy her a ring!


"JAG: Lifeline (#6.22)" (2001)
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [after recalling when Brumby defended his client by blaming Mac] He had to say that he was defending his client.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: He was right.
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: About me being guilty?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: About some people being in love with you.
[cut to commercial]

Mac: What do you want?
Harm: I want a lot of things.
Mac: What do you want the most?
Harm: The thing I want most... is to never lose you.


"JAG: Smoked (#1.14)" (1996)
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Lieutenant J.G. Meg Austin, meet Lt. Commander Jack Ketter. My roommate at the academy, and the second best naval aviator I know.
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: The CAG being the best sir.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: I've been going through your file, Rabb. Reads like a cross between Top Gun and A Few Good Men.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm sorry, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: I'm not! Navy needs heroes. Now more than ever.


"JAG: Automatic for the People (#10.11)" (2005)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [discussing the crash of an F-14 in California] Has the Navy initiated a Mishap Investigation, General?
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Already on the scene. I want you to get to China Lake, ASAP. Conduct a concurrent JAG-man investigation. You're dismissed.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Aye aye, sir.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: If you see Colonel MacKenzie, send her my way.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Uh, sir, the Colonel is still in Norfolk taking depositions on the Harkin case.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Commander Turner, then.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Commander Turner is, uh, TAD to Camp Pendleton, General.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: [getting annoyed] Commander Roberts?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I believe Commander Roberts started his anger management classes this morning, sir.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Just how the hell did Admiral Chegwidden get anything done around here?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I think he found it a struggle, sir.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Sometimes a good investigator has to admit the most obvious choice is often the right one.


"JAG: A Separate Peace: Part 2 (#6.8)" (2000)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Bud, I don't know what it's like to lose a child. But I do know what it's like to lose the woman you love. Don't let one cost you the other.

[last lines]
Admiral Thomas Boone: My time's past, Harm. It's your time now... thank you.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Shakes hands then stands at attention] Sir.


"JAG: High Ground (#1.16)" (1996)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: The colonel may find this interesting reading. It's Crockett's kill book, sir. The intimate details of one hundred and sixty-three confirmed kills.
Colonel Gordon: I know what the gunnery sergeant is, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, sir. But you don't know *who* he is.

Colonel Gordon: [talking about Gunny Crockett] The man tried to kill a colonel in the United States Marine Corps.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Begging the colonel's pardon, sir, if Gunnery Sergeant Crockett was trying to kill you, you'd be dead.
Colonel Gordon: A free hand snapshot at a moving target over a thousand meters away, and you have the...
[Gordon glances at Commander Krennick]
Colonel Gordon: ...the gall to claim he hit what he was aiming at?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not gall, sir. Confidence.
Colonel Gordon: Davy Crockett couldn't make that shot.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: With your permission, colonel, I'd like to prove otherwise.


"JAG: A New Life: Part 1 (#1.1)" (1995)
[after seeing Lieutenant Lobo naked]
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: Did you see the muscles on her?
Lt. Harmon Rabb, Jr.: I wasn't looking at her muscles.

[Cassie intends to change]
Lt. Harmon Rabb, Jr.: [to Pike] I'll wait outside.
Lt. Cassie 'Lobo' Puller: [sarcastically] Why? You never seen a naked sailor before?
[Cassie strips naked right in front of Rabb]


"JAG: Retrial (#10.3)" (2004)
SecNav Edward Sheffield: I don't see how I can help you, gentlemen.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Sir, there has been a serious miscarriage of justice.
SecNav Edward Sheffield: Allegedly.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Almost certainly, Mr. Secretary.
SecNav Edward Sheffield: At this point in time, only the president has the authority to order a retrial.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Sir, you could suspend the remainder of Mr. Wainwright's sentence.
SecNav Edward Sheffield: But there's another recourse. File a writ of habeas corpus on the grounds that Wainwright's constitutional rights were denied due to a Brady violation.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: We considered that, sir. But it could take months for the federal district court to hear the arguments and issue a decision.
SecNav Edward Sheffield: I suggest keeping the president out of this.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm aware that Congressman Bolton represents your home state, sir.
SecNav Edward Sheffield: And if he's guilty of misconduct, he's going to answer for it. But we can't afford to go after him, not now.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Don't you mean not ever, sir?
SecNav Edward Sheffield: Watch your tone, Commander. Congressman Bolton is a ranking member of the House Armed Services Committee. And he's spearheading the opposition to the Navy's low-frequency active sonar project. If we go after him now, it smacks of retaliation.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: Politics.
SecNav Edward Sheffield: Damn right, politics. The president's under a magnifying glass. He can't give his enemies anything to use against him. Maybe next year.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Mr. Secretary, former Seaman Wainwright has spent the last twenty-two years of his life in prison for a crime he didn't commit, sir. Every day he remains there is an affront. He can't afford to wait until next year, sir.

Capt. Richard Carey: Seaman Wainwright, the members found you guilty of assault and sentenced you to six months' confinement.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Credit for time served, Your Honor.
Capt. Richard Carey: Granted. Seaman Wainwright, stand at ease. Twenty-two years ago, you made a foolish mistake. Youth and ignorance are no excuse. However, this court martial has ruled that there was a tragic miscarriage of justice. Apologies are inadequate to compensate you for your lost years. All of your rights, privileges, and property, including back pay, will be restored and you will be honorably discharged. On the part of the United States Navy, I wish you well and pray that the remainder of your life brings you joy and fulfillment. You are a free man. This court martial is adjourned.


"JAG: Need to Know (#8.7)" (2002)
Harm: Thought you had orders to stay away from me.
Special Agent Clayton Webb: Well, that was before you went into open court to get that subpoena. Now my boss is afraid you'll go running to the press.
Harm: Not a bad idea. Might get the attention of the President. He may wonder why the CIA has nothing better to do than to keep a secret that's 34 years old.
Special Agent Clayton Webb: Don't do it, Rabb. Either way it turns out, you lose.
Harm: This isn't about me, Clay. And it's not about need to know, either. It's about real people with a hole in their lives that can't be filled with anything other than the truth. They need to know, because if they don't, it'll keep eating away at them. They need to know that they're not going to wake up in the middle of the night, every night, for the rest of their lives, wondering what happened to the people they loved.
Special Agent Clayton Webb: Some people give up that right to know. Maybe not voluntarily, maybe it's taken away from them, but it's gone, nonetheless. That's the way it is for the families of the stars on this wall.
Harm: Yeah. Well, at least they have a star. Where are the stars for the crew of the Angel Shark?

Catherine Gale: Clear?
Harm: Oh, yeah. I think I get it. We can't tell the court why it needs to be declassified because the reason it's classified is classified.
Catherine Gale: You've got it.


"JAG: Exculpatory Evidence (#7.17)" (2002)
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb, Jr.: Did you fall asleep in court?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Yes, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb, Jr.: What, like a head-bobbing thing, right?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Apparently, I was snoring, sir.

Lt. Loren Singer: It isn't fair! I bust my ass trying to do the best possible job while he gets to use that kid of his as an excuse to slack off! Hmph! Maybe *I* should get a dog!
[after Singer is out of earshot]
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb, Jr., Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [to each other] Pit Bull!


"JAG: Black Ops (#1.17)" (1996)
Senator Grace Marion: That admiral's right. My statement was inexcusable.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, ma'am.
Senator Grace Marion: You don't have to agree with me so quickly, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You're obviously a person who speaks her mind, ma'am. I assume you expect the same from others.

Lieutenant Alexander Kellogue: Sir? I understand the lieutenant's mother is here.
Admiral Chegwidden: Unfortunately.
Lieutenant Alexander Kellogue: SEAL Team 2 has a tradition of writing a letter before every mission, in case we don't return. Lieutenant Marion wrote this. If you would give it to his mother, I would appreciate it, sir.
Admiral Chegwidden: He was only with you two days.
Lieutenant Alexander Kellogue: He jumped with SEAL Team 2, sir. And tradition's tradition.
Admiral Chegwidden: I like you, son. Probably gonna hang you, but I like you.
Lieutenant Alexander Kellogue: Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
[Chegwidden exits]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know who started that tradition, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant Alexander Kellogue: No, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Ensign Chegwidden.


"JAG: Meltdown (#8.21)" (2003)
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: What happened that night at Benzinger's bar?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I met with Lieutenant Singer. We argued. She left, I followed her outside, we argued some more in her car.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: And was that when you phoned your brother using your cell phone?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yeah, I wanted to be there when she told him it wasn't his baby. I wanted to look into her eyes.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: Because you didn't believe her.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I rarely believed anything Lieutenant Singer said.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: I read your interview with Gibbs. Why didn't you tell him your story?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I was protecting my brother.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: Fine, but when they told you that the murder happened in January and not six weeks ago, you knew your brother couldn't be involved, so why not cooperate then?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Because by then I looked guilty. And I decided to trust Navy justice instead of Navy cops.
[Coleman sighs]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Look, there are enough holes in this case to raise reasonable doubt.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: There's also enough evidence to tie you to the murders and a string of witnesses, your colleagues, will testify to angry words between you and Lieutenant Singer right up to the time of her death.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it could be worse, I guess.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: How?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I could not have an alibi.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: You have an alibi?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: As you know, your cover was found near the scene of the crime.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You want to know how it got there.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We know. It was planted.
Major Jack McBurney: Looks like you may be off the hook, Commander.
Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: We did some checking into Lieutenant Singer's love life. She was seen having dinner and drinks with a sandy-haired man.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: My brother, at Benzinger's bar.
Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: No, no, no. This guy was older. And they never met at Benzinger's.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Checked the JAG security log. We got a suspect. We just need to know if he had the opportunity.
[Tony hands Rabb a photograph; flashback of Commander Lindsey taking Rabb's cover]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: That son of a bitch. He did it right in front of me.


"JAG: Wilderness of Mirrors (#4.21)" (1999)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [speaking on intercom] Hello, Jordan, hello...
Clark Palmer: She's tied up right now.
[to Jordan, his bound and gagged victim]
Clark Palmer: Sorry, couldn't resist. I always wanted to say that.

Lt. Cmdr. Jordan 'Jordi' Parker: So you weren't losing it after all.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I guess I don't need therapy, huh?
Lt. Cmdr. Jordan 'Jordi' Parker: Oooh, that's too bad, 'cause I think you would have liked the therapy I had in mind.


"JAG: Pas de Deux (#8.23)" (2003)
Catherine Gale's Mother: Do you want children?
Harm: Yes.
Catherine Gale's Mother: How were you able to convince her?
Harm: Well, I told her God gave her those hips for a reason.

Catherine Gale: I like getting to know other attorneys outside the courtroom. The deep ones drop the mask and reveal who they really are.
Harm: And what am I revealing?
Catherine Gale: An inability to drop the mask.


"JAG: Front and Center (#5.5)" (1999)
Private Clauson: I wasn't going to rape her, I was just goofing on her.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Private Clauson, you are currently the *luckiest* marine in the world. Do not make things worse for yourself by also being the STUPIDEST!

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Rabb has just been formally awarded his second Distinguished Flying Cross] Uh... Sir, I'm... uh... flattered, also... uh... a little confused. I believe I requested that no ceremony be conducted.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [Off handedly] Yeah, I ignored it.


"JAG: Washington Holiday (#2.9)" (1997)
[Harm has been selected by the SecNav as a military escort for a royal princess]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Do I have a say in this, sir?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Not if you're smart.

Minister Vartan Kepish: [after Princess Alexandria kisses Harm] That really isn't a very good idea.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [shrugging] Well, I thought it was a damn good idea. Too bad I didn't think of it.


"JAG: Impact (#3.9)" (1997)
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: Palmer!
[Palmer turns around. Harm punches him. To Col Barrett]
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: I owed him that, Colonel!
Col. Ron Barret: [to himself] And *we* have the bad reputation? Damn!

Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: I'm getting doors slammed in my face all over town! I've got a weapons program manager telling me DSD is not my concern! But I got people in the field, JAGs that I support, so I keep pressing, hoping that I can find the truth; so you can imagine my chagrin when I learned that not one, but TWO of my officers have been caught TRESPASSING!
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: I am sorry, Admiral. We were following an unidentified... aircraft, sir, that we believe to have been involved in the crash.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Unidentified aircraft, as in UFO?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You're spending too much time in the desert with Lieutenant Roberts!


"JAG: First Casualty (#7.19)" (2002)
Lt. Loren Singer: [Talking about Lt Roberts] I bust my butt and he baby-sits his kid.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Nothing wrong with being a family-man, Lieutenant.
Lt. Loren Singer: Or playing your family for all they're worth, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Bud doesn't play his family, Lieutenant.
Lt. Loren Singer: [sighs in exasperation] Maybe I should get a dog.
[walks away]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr., Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Mac and Rabb pause a second, then simultaneously] Pit-Bull!
[They share a look of amusement and both chuckle]


"JAG: Corporate Raiders (#10.2)" (2004)
Mattie Grace Johnson: [regarding who she's IMing] Yeah, it's Kevin. The boy I like.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yeah, I know. Your
[biological]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Dad told me.
Mattie Grace Johnson: Great, now I have two Dads with loaded shotguns.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Actually mine's a nine millimetre, Navy issue. It's more accurate.


"JAG: Someone to Watch Over Annie (#3.12)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How would I know you had a hand in this, Webb?
Special Agent Clayton Webb: I have a hand in everything.


"JAG: Guilt (#7.4)" (2001)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [about Singer's cross-examination of Harriet] What the hell were you doing in there?
Lt. Loren Singer: Discrediting the witness, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You attack her testimony to put doubt in the members' mind, Lieutenant. You attack her, you look like a bully.
Lt. Loren Singer: They saw she wasn't objective.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: They saw a lawyer attacking a woman who lost her baby.
Lt. Loren Singer: That was my point, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You brought her to tears, Lieutenant. You made her sympathetic.
Lt. Loren Singer: The members knew what I was doing, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Two of the members are women who have children.
Lt. Loren Singer: She was a strong witness, sir. I decided it was a risk worth taking.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well that's not your decision to make, is it? Where'd you get this dream stuff from, anyway?
Lt. Loren Singer: Harriet told petty officer Tiner. He told me this morning.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I should have been informed.
Lt. Loren Singer: Would you have used it, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not the way you did. You hurt us in there, Lieutenant.
Lt. Loren Singer: I thought it was our best shot, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Our best shot comes this afternoon when we present our case. I'll be conducting both the direct and the cross.
Lt. Loren Singer: Are you implying I'm a bad lawyer, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Just inexperienced, Lieutenant, and without wisdom.
Lt. Loren Singer: Permission to speak freely, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Denied. That'll be all.


"JAG: Silent Service (#4.16)" (1999)
[Harm has been talking to Bud, and is unaware that Chegwidden has picked up the phone]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Hey, Bud. If the Admiral asks, be sure to tell him...
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: ...Everything he wants to know!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [embarrassed] Aye, aye, sir.


"JAG: Innocence (#4.3)" (1998)
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Lt. Commander Rabb, As you know, I've always been open to respectful disagreement, but you ever badger me like that again and I'll supervise your ass right out of Washington.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [after Rabb walks away] Good luck.


"JAG: Measure of Men (#7.3)" (2001)
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [speaking of Mic] He gave up his career and country for me! Are you willing to give up your GIRLFRIEND?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: What are you willing to give up?
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Answer my question first!


"JAG: Ready or Not (#8.8)" (2002)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: With any other judge, I'd have won this case days ago.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: I'm sorry I'm not complying with your schedule.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Every time I work in an advantage, you slap me down.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: Because you ask for it.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You're relentless, you know that?
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: Hmm. So I've heard. I'm the hanging judge. The source of all your problems, right?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: That's right. But... though it pains me to admit, you're good. You don't let me get away with the stuff I pull on other judges. You really do know my playbook. Most of all, though, Mac... you know the law. And I hate you for it.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: I'll take that as a compliment.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Good. Just remember this magnanimity when I'm on the bench, okay?


"JAG: Wedding Bell Blues (#3.23)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [trying to retrieve his dress whites from a strip club] Hey, look, pal, I don't want any trouble, all right? I got a wedding in the morning, and I need the uniform!
Joe Garvey: Listen, man, I'm warning you right now - I'm a black belt! Don't make me hurt you.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: And I'm warning you right now, I'm a lawyer! Don't make me sue you!


"JAG: Angels 30 (#4.7)" (1998)
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [after hearing the plan] Whose bright idea was this?
Captain Ward: Actually it started with a suggestion from Major MacKenzie.
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: I might've known!
Captain Ward: The Engineers have assured us that's how it works on paper.
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Unfortunately, I'm not flying a paper plane!


"JAG: The Killer (#8.10)" (2002)
Lt. Cmdr. Tracy Manetti: Most serial killers fit a basic profile. Single white male, young, father absent from his life. Usually distant from his mother and a lack of a committed relationship with a woman...
[Manetti notices Harm's facial expression]
Lt. Cmdr. Tracy Manetti: What is it, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, I was just thinking that, uh, could describe me.
Lt. Cmdr. Tracy Manetti: You're too old to fit the profile, Commander.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh. Well, I don't know whether to be insulted or relieved.


"JAG: Hail and Farewell: Part 1 (#9.23)" (2004)
Mac: You know, men seem to pass through my life... except for you. Will you always be there?
Harm: Yes.
[Harm turns to face Mac]
Mac: Well then you need to know what the doctor told me...
[Camera zooms out and shows Harm reaching for Mac's hand]
Mac: [screen fades out]


"JAG: To Russia with Love (#3.24)" (1998)
Special Agent Clayton Webb: Either way you're in danger.
Admiral Chegwidden: So's the Major.
Harm: Yes, sir, I know. If you know anyway to make her stay behind I wish you'd tell me.
Admiral Chegwidden: I could order her home.
Harm: Yes, sir. You could.
Special Agent Clayton Webb: [Webb puts his hand on the mute button] Do it! Rabb will never come back now that he's got the blood scent. Cut your losses!
Admiral Chegwidden: You have always had a way with words, Webb.
[takes Webb's hand off the phone]
Admiral Chegwidden: Mac speaks Russian, you don't. Better chance staying alive with her. Do you agree?
Harm: The odds are better with her, sir.
Admiral Chegwidden: Find your father, Harm.
Harm: Thank you, Admiral.


"JAG: Into the Breech (#5.12)" (2000)
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Colonel, Commander, correct me if I'm wrong, didn't I advise you to drop the investigation?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It - It wasn't our investigation to drop, sir.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: It wasn't?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: No sir, we were... simply sitting second chair.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Hmm... Oh, uh, almost forgot. Commander can you be at the Washington Momument at 1700?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: The Washington Momument at 1700, sir? Why?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: I think she called it the magic hour. Ms Peterson, she says the light is just perfect.


"JAG: Body Talk (#5.24)" (2000)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Come by my office when you're done here.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: I *am* done.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [looks back in the courtroom then turns back to Coulter] Think about it.
[leaves]
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: You forgave your father?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: Was it hard?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It took me a while.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: What did you say to him?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Nothing. He was in a coma by the time I was ready.
[Coulter goes into the court room and approaches her father]
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: Hi.
Capt. Thomas Chaddock: Hi.


"JAG: Webb of Lies (#4.14)" (1999)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Mac can't sleep /staying in Harm's apartment] Would you mind if I stripped it down?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [turns around puzzled] What did you say?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Would you mind if I stripped your pistol down? It'd give me something to do.


"JAG: The Black Jet (#4.10)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Major Sarah MacKenzie, meet Lt Commander Jack Keeter, the SECOND best pilot I know.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: The CAG being the best.


"JAG: Flight Risk (#6.4)" (2000)
Tim Cartwright: You know what pilots use for birth control?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yeah, their personalities. What's the difference between a pilot and a jet engine?
Tim Cartwright: Jet engine stops whining when it lands.


"JAG: The Man on the Bridge (#10.9)" (2004)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Do you believe your brother was capable of committing suicide?
Sarah McBride: The signs say yes. But my heart says no. Maybe I just don't want to believe that all of this could be happening again.


"JAG: Crossing the Line (#2.5)" (1997)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Your report states that you grounded Lieutenant Isaacs after a substandard landing. The LSO log indicates: OSCB, EGAR, DNKH.
Captain Thomas Boone: That it does.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Would you mind telling me what those acronyms mean?
Captain Thomas Boone: OSCB, Over Shot Came Back. EGAR, Eased Gun At Ramp.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What about, uh... DNKH?
Captain Thomas Boone: That's the technical one, Major. Damn Near Killed Herself.


"JAG: Real Deal SEAL (#5.23)" (2000)
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I just hope you're not working on one of Rivers' crazy schemes.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know me Mac.


"JAG: Secrets (#2.2)" (1997)
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Osbourne used to be C.I.A. and there's no such thing as an ex-C.I.A. agent.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, sir. Understood.


"JAG: Mr. Rabb Goes to Washington (#4.8)" (1998)
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: [making a statement in a congressional committee] I have a question for Congressman Martin. Why is it people are so willing to believe the worse of our military? Why are the people who put it on the line like this person
[indicating Sgt Morrison]
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: the last to be trusted, and people like this
[indicating Dale Nalporte]
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: the first?


"JAG: Yesterday's Heroes (#3.15)" (1998)
Manny: You can't arrest me!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm not going to arrest you. I'm going to shoot you!


"JAG: The Prisoner (#1.20)" (1996)
Captain Lishi: Commander Rabb, how are you feeling?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Fine.
Captain Lishi: "Commander" sounds so formal. What do your friends call you?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: "Harm", "Rabb", "pain in the butt".


"JAG: In Country (#7.23)" (2002)
[Harm and Mac have just escaped from a land mine]
Harm: How did you know that would work?
Mac: I saw it in a movie.
Harm: WHAT? You just trusted our lives to something you saw in a movie?


"JAG: The Mission (#7.16)" (2002)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How'd you know where I was?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Where else would you be on a carrier during ops?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: In the front seat of an F-14.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Not this trip.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I can dream.


"JAG: Ares (#1.21)" (1996)
Lt. Caitlin 'Kate' Pike: Ever do a blue water landing on a destroyer before?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I make it a rule never to land in the middle of the ocean without a tailhook.


"JAG: Offensive Action (#8.6)" (2002)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm not a chauvinist.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No, your not.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, thank you...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You're arrogant, which can be misinterpreted as chauvinism.


"JAG: Code Blue (#2.13)" (1997)
Chief Petty Officer Walter Hume: [in the hospital] What are you in for?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Lost an argument with a car.


"JAG: People v. Rabb (#3.10)" (1997)
[Harm is trying to convince Chegwidden to let Mac back into JAG]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [Almost yelling] Commander, if I were you, I would stop helping. If it wasn't for top-level intervention, you would be in your cell facing charges for brig break!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Meekly] Yes, sir.


"JAG: Dangerous Game (#8.4)" (2002)
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Remember when Meredith mentioned she was interested in taking flying lessons?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh, no. Please, sir...
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Commander, I completely understand your reluctance, but, uh, my back is against a wall here. She's been dreaming up these weekend plans and... hell, this is the safest one.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Safe for who, sir?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Look, all I'm suggesting is that... this may sound mean, but just take her up, get her sick, cure her of this flying bug.


"JAG: Baby, It's Cold Outside (#6.11)" (2001)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What do you have do to get a plaque?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's for good behavior. So you don't have to worry about it.


"JAG: The Adversaries (#4.19)" (1999)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Harm reveals that Big Bud really was guilty] I know why you chose Bud as your lawyer. To hedge your bets. If he won, great. If he lost, you appeal. What were you going to claim, inadequate council? That he was too emotionally involved? You were going to sell out your own son to get off the hook.
Big Bud Roberts: You're not gonna tell him, are you, sir?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [firmly] No! And neither will you, Master Chief!


"JAG: Fortunate Son (#8.18)" (2003)
Cmdr. Ted Lindsey: [after listing off Rabb's indiscretions at JAG] ... and the Admiral thinks I'M not Captain material!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [mockingly] So THAT'S what this is about, huh, Commander? The 'Good Child' syndrome. You keep your nose clean, I don't, but I catch all the breaks.
Cmdr. Ted Lindsey: Oh, Commander, don't worry... your days of catching all the breaks are over.


"JAG: War Cries (#1.7)" (1995)
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: If security gets any tighter, they'll be strip searching us.
Lt. j.g. Meg Austin: I wouldn't get my hopes up, sir.


"JAG: Embassy (#4.2)" (1998)
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Commander, do not do anything to exacerbate the situation.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Don't worry, sir, you know me.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Yes I do!


"JAG: Gypsy Eyes (#4.1)" (1998)
Harm: Admiral?
Admiral Chegwidden: How are you doing?
Harm: Fine. Webb? What are you doing here?
Admiral Chegwidden: Getting decked!
[spins around and punches Webb]


"JAG: Fighting Words (#9.20)" (2004)
Admiral Chegwidden: [Harm and Mac are constantly saying the opposite of each other] Can the two of you agree on anything?
Mac: [simultaneously] Yes.
Harm: No.


"JAG: The Guardian (#2.12)" (1997)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [after Bud finds the witness in Harm's case] Bud, if you were a woman, I'd kiss you.


"JAG: Secret Agent Man (#9.3)" (2003)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Commander O'Neil?
Beth O'Neil: Commander Rabb.
[they shake hands]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How long have you...
Beth O'Neil: What? Been working for the spooks? Pretty much since you got me cleared on the harassment charge. The navy just didn't feel like home to me after that. So, uh, what made you jump ship, Commander?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Uh, it's Harm.
Beth O'Neil: Beth.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Guess I pushed my CO's patience a little too far this time.
Beth O'Neil: You were asked to leave?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No, I left voluntarily. I, uh, was asked not to return.


"JAG: Camp Delta (#10.7)" (2004)
[after the Army JAG officer assigned to be Harm's second chair commandeers the questioning of their client]
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb, Jr.: I hope you don't mind me talking while you interrupted.


"JAG: Empty Quiver (#8.17)" (2003)
P.O. Jason Tiner: Sir, there's a dog in the hallway.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Yes, she's with me.
[loudly]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Come here, Damn it.
[Dog enters the room]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Sit, Damn it.
[dog sits down. Tiner leaves and closes the door]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You named the dog, Damn it?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: The name kind of found itself.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Damn it?
[Dog rises up and knocks over the folders on the desk]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, damn it.


"JAG: Complications (#8.12)" (2003)
Captain: [at Bud's hearing to determine if he's fit to return to full duty] Does the lieutenant understand that even if he's granted permanent limited duty, his career will be capped. There's no way he'll be promoted to senior rank.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: The lieutenant has determined he would rather serve his country in a limited capacity than not at all.


"JAG: Take It Like a Man (#9.17)" (2004)
Mattie Grace Johnson: How'd you learn how to cook?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Trial and error, mostly. Mostly error.


"JAG: Port Chicago (#7.20)" (2002)
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I need to ask you both a question. If you murder co-counsel in the courtroom, can you cop an insanity plea?
Lt. Harriet Sims: [simultaneously with Harm] Absolutely.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I thought so.


"JAG: People vs. SecNav (#9.14)" (2004)
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Colonel, Commander.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Bud, what's wrong?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Little A.J. He's missing.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Mikey took him to the mall, and he disappeared.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, how long has it been?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: About eight hours.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm sure he'll turn up.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Do you want to fly home?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: I don't know, sir. I... I don't want to desert you. You have the Secretary-General testifying tomorrow...
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Just leave us all your research material. We'll manage.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [close to tears] They'll find him by the time that I get home, right?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Of course they will.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: And if they don't, and he...
[Bud stops, and composes himself]
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Permission to return home, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Permission granted.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Thank you, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Call us.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Good luck, Bud.


"JAG: Salvation (#6.19)" (2001)
[as Krohn is being released from jail, Palmer is being escorted back to Leavenworth]
Clark Palmer: [referring to Father O'Rourke, Krohn and Rabb] Well, well, well. If it isn't the Father, the Son and the Holier-than-thou Attorney!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Keep talking, Palmer. This latest round of charges should add a couple of more DECADES on to *your* sentence.
Clark Palmer: Maybe I can get Charvis here to testify as a character witness. I mean, you're all about forgiving everybody.
Sergeant Major Charvis Krohn: *God* forgives, Clark. But I think even *he* will make an exception in your case.


"JAG: The Iron Coffin (#6.15)" (2001)
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Commander, Captain Baxter read your report as well. He said thank you for proving Russian subs are perfectly capable of sinking themselves on their own.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Thank you, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: The hard way as usual.