Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie
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Quotes for
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie (Character)
from "JAG" (1995)

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"JAG: Boomerang: Part 2 (#5.16)" (2000)
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [Bud's speaking with a broken jaw] I don't know why the Admiral ordered you to fight.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I don't think it took too much forcing, Bud.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: With all due respect, ma'am, it's your fault. They were fighting over you.
[Mac nervously chuckles]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What'd he say?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: That, uh, you deserved what you got.
[Mac walks away]
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: That's not what I said, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Relax, Bud. I know you didn't say that. Whatever it was, you struck a nerve.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You work with the guy, Mac, you wouldn't go topless in front of me would you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [pause] Is that a request?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [pause] You know they wrote "Eternity" on this bridge... in lights... on New Year's Eve.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Is that how long we're going to wait?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Mac...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We're not in Washington. We're not even on the same continent!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Location doesn't change who we are.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Most men would disagree with you.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I know. I disagree with me sometimes too.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: But you still can't let go?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not yet.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You're just this way with me, aren't you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [nods] Yeah... Only with you.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [pause] I suppose I should be flattered.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You should, Sarah.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Colonel, are, um congratulations in order?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Uh. it's uh, on the right hand, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Ah.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Friendship ring?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: For now.

[Kevin Lee is talking to the press with a mock Aussie accent]
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Listen to his accent. He's a bloody thespian.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: They seem to like it.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Press can't save him. Harm's only delayed the inevitable.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I wouldn't be too sure, Mic.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Who are you rooting for, Mac?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's not a soccer match, Mic.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: You're right. It's a bloody pub fight.

Toohey: BLOODY SEPPO MURDERER!
[Toohey decks Lee, Harm restrains Toohey, Lee hits Toohey, is then restrained by Mic]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Let him go, Brumby!
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: YOU let him go!
[Harm and Mic simultaneously release Toohey and Lee]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, God.
[Harm and Mic each prepare to throw a punch. Bud gets into the middle and ends up taking a blow to the jaw from each of them]


"JAG: Back in the Saddle (#9.6)" (2003)
[reviewing all of Cmdr. Imes' overturned convictions]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Will you help me, or do you have some secret mission to fly?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Webb didn't tell you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We don't spend a lot of time talking about you.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Gee, that's a surprise. He canned me.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What? I just saw you all over the TV.
[realization dawns on Mac]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh.

P.O. Jennifer Coates: [Outside the Admiral's office, to Mac] When someone is that angry, you know they're hurting inside.
[Mac braces to attention as the Admiral appears in the door behind PO Coates]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Petty Officer?
P.O. Jennifer Coates: [Coates executes a smart about-turn] Sir, I'm so sorry!
[the Admiral glares at her, thrusts a stack of files into her hands, steps back into his office and glares again before closing the door]
P.O. Jennifer Coates: [to Mac] I can't do anything right, ma'am!
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: None of us can.

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: For the past four months the Admiral and I are havng a failure to communicate.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Uh... well... we are communicating excellently; he yells at me and I say I'm sorry... kinda like married life.

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Sturgis accused Mac of being conservative] My other faults? Since *you're* listing them.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: Well you're sanctimonious. And a bit of a prig.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [incredulous] Where did *that* come from?
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: It's been building for a while.


"JAG: Fair Winds and Following Seas (#10.22)" (2005)
Harm: Mac and I have an announcement to make... We're getting married.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: Congratulations!
Major General Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Outstanding! I knew you'd come around to the Marines.
Mac: In either London or San Diego.
Harm: For this marriage to be successful, one of us has to give up our commission.
Mac: No surprise, we couldn't decide which one.
Harm: So we'll let fate decide. Bud.
Bud: When Admiral Chedwidden retired, he gave me his JAG coin.
[pulls out coin]
Bud: And I thought this would be the perfect moment to use it.
[Shows one side]
Bud: This is the side with heads.
[Shows other side]
Bud: There is tails. Bride to be will call.
Mac: [exhales] Tails.
Bud: Always wanted to do this at the Superbowl. Here goes.
[tosses the coin in the air]

Mac: You, uh, talked to Maddie?
Harm: Yeah. That was the first call I made.
Mac: She told you to go?
Harm: Yes.
Mac: What'd you say?
Harm: I told her I wasn't going anywhere without her. We're still waiting for the ruling in Juvinelle court, however her father isn't contesting so...
Mac: You're a good dad.

Mac: He, uh, finally told you he's not going?
Harm: Well, you know, once Harriette makes up his mind. That's pretty much it.

Harm: Mac, we have 12 hours.
Mac: We've had 9 years.
Harm: I guess maybe, I just needed a deadline.
Mac: Well, you got one sailor.
[pause. Harm and Mac kiss]
Mac: What are you proposing? And that's not a Freudian slip.
Harm: I'm proposing. Let's get married.


"JAG: Heroes (#2.4)" (1997)
Mac: If you have some evidence I should know about...
Harm: You'll eventually get it, and then you can plea bargain.
Mac: In your dreams Commander.
Harm: Ohh, you don't want to be in my dreams, Major?
Mac: Red light, Commander!
Harm: Red light? There was nothing sexual in what I said, and if you think there was, then maybe I should be giving you the red light

Harm: Well, I thought it was pretty funny when you ducked under the table.
Mac: I'm a Marine, Harm. Marines don't duck.
Harm: What do Marines do?
Mac: They take cover, but they never duck.

Mac: What on earth were you thinking?
Harm: I was trying to make a point.
Mac: You blew a hole in the roof!
Harm: I guess I overdid it.

Mac: What are you doing with those books, Bud?
Bud: Oh, these were just some I used in law school.
Mac: I thought you were maybe researching something for Lt. Rabb.
Bud: [clearly nervous] Oh, I'm not. And, if I were, I couldn't tell you, but since I'm not... I can... can't I?


"JAG: Yeah, Baby (#4.23)" (1999)
Harm: [to Mac] Tell you what. Five years from this moment if neither us are in a relationship, we go have ourselves a kid.
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You and me? Have a baby together?
Harm: Yeah, with your looks and my brains he'll be perfect.
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: And what if SHE has YOUR looks and MY brains?
Harm: That could work too.
[pause]
Harm: So what do you say. Deal?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Don't make a promise you can't keep.
Harm: I haven't yet.
[they shake hands]

Harm: You okay?
Mac: Every time I think I've put the pieces of my life back together somebody comes along and jumbles them back up. Every body who has ever meant anything to me is leaving my life.
Harm: You'll be okay, Mac. You'll get to see Chloe again. One day you'll have kid of your own.
Mac: Yeah that's right. My biological clock is going off and I keep hitting the snooze button.
Harm: Tell you what... five years from this moment if neither of us is in a relationship, we'll go have ourselves a kid.
Mac: You and me? Have a baby together?
Harm: Yeah, with your looks and my brains... he'll be... perfect.
Mac: And what if she has your looks and my brain?
Harm: That could work too. So what do you say? Deal?
Mac: Don't make a promise you can't keep.
Harm: I haven't yet.
[Mac and Harm shake hands]

Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [Harriett's in labor] What can we do to make you feel better Harriet?
Lt. Harriet Sims: Shoot me!

Harm: You've delivered a baby?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Yeah it's a piece of cake. Delivered dozens of 'em back home in Aus. Sort of comes with living in the Outback.
Harm: Really? You ever deliver one in a hospital full of terrorists?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: I'll get the measuring stick out later boys!


"JAG: Cabin Pressure (#5.14)" (2000)
Capt. Roy Salveras: How did you know they were alive?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We *didn't*, sir.
Capt. Roy Salveras: But you were so confident.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I suppose it comes with our experience with the Commander.
Capt. Roy Salveras: You're a tenacious man, is that it Commander?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Ever try to get gum off the sole of your shoe.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [after Col. MacKenzie asks Adm. Chegwidden to convince her that Cmdr. Rabb is still alive] Colonel, the Commander is too damned pigheaded to leave this world. He will find a way out.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Even if they offer him wings, sir?

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [on the phone with Harm] How are you?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Mac, take my mind off of this.
[Harm holds out the phone]
Petty Officer Mark DeMara: [offscreen] This is serious negligence that...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, petty officer Chinick was conducting his business in the main machinery room. Another petty officer on her afternoon watch saw De Mara leaving. When she went inside, she discovered the body. Could have been a deal gone bad.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Bad enough to provoke murder?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Why don't you talk to De Mara?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I would, but he's a little preoccupied with his mortality at the moment.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Is he getting worse?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: To say he's unstable would be an insult to unstable people.


"JAG: Adrift: Part 2 (#7.1)" (2001)
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Rabb hands her the phone] Hello?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: So I thought to myself, who would she go to? Where would she go? I have my answer.
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Mic?

Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Brumby's leaving the country] He can't get past this thing with us.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Maybe because *we* can't.

Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Why are you marrying me, Sarah?
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Because I love you.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Then why am I the last one you turn to in a crisis.
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [quietly] I don't know.


"JAG: Ghost Ship (#3.1)" (1997)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Harm is piling the research work on Bud] Harm, Bud's been at it non-stop for thirty-two hours and twenty-four minutes.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How do you *do* that?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: My mother's Swiss.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Admiral, the void is sealed during construction. How would a body get in there?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Well, the same way as it did on the Great Eastern, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Enlighten us, Mr. Roberts.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: She was a double-hulled ship, too, sir. While she was under construction, a shipyard worker fell asleep in the void and was accidentally sealed inside. They said you could hear him pounding for years!
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [skeptically] Years, Bud?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Well, obviously it was his ghost, ma'am.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Obviously!


"JAG: Full Engagement (#2.8)" (1997)
Harm: Come on, let's go
Mac: I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.
Harm: What do you mean, you can't? You're a Marine. Come on, Mac. What happened to that gung ho, semper fi, kickass jarhead I used to know? Don't let me down now Mac. We've made it this far. Damn it. This is precisely why we shouldn't allow women in combat 'cause when it comes to the clinch you know they're going to fall apart. If you were a real Marine...
Mac: All right already. Shut up. You've made your point!

Harm: Men have been naming airplanes after their women since the Wright Brothers.
Mac: This isn't 1908, Harm.
Harm: Three. They flew in 1903.


"JAG: Vanished (#3.6)" (1997)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: In one way or another, we're all searching for something.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh yeah? What are you searching for?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: What every woman wants. A great career, a good man, and comfortable shoes, lots and lots of them.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know, when the Admiral first told me he was partnering me with a Marine major I had these visions of a tattooed jarhead, challenging me to arm wrestling at lunch hour.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Well, I do have a tattoo, I'm a pretty good arm wrestler, and although I don't like the term, I am technically a jarhead.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up! You have a tattoo? How come I've never seen it? Now, where would one find this tattoo?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [back pedaling fast] I'm afraid that's classified information, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Oh yeah? You have a tattoo!


"JAG: Wedding Bell Blues (#3.23)" (1998)
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [while picking up Harm and Bud in Jail] What's the Admiral going to say when he hears about this?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [steps forward] Oh I think he'll understand.

Lydia Sims: Harriet, you have to get a grip. You are getting married in half an hour.
Ens. Harriet Sims: No mother, I'm not!
Lydia Sims: It's not like a Beaumont to quit!
Ens. Harriet Sims: I'm not a Beaumont! I am an Ensign in the United States Navy! I'm sick as a dog. And my fiancée got BEAT UP by a pregnant stripper last night!
[phone rings. Mac answers the phone]
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [to the phone] Hello? Uh just a minute.
[to Harriet]
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's your future husband.
Ens. Harriet Sims: I have no idea who that might be.
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [to the phone] She's still getting dressed, Bud. I'll have her call you when she's ready. Okay.


"JAG: Straits of Malacca (#10.16)" (2005)
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: How's your Hebrew?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's not as good as my Farsi, but it's passable. "The subject, Akay Anwar, born into a wealthy Indonesian family, educated in London, arrested by the Indonesian authorities in '93 on suspicion of subversive activities. Tortured. Charged with numerous acts of piracy. Only recently tied to Bali hotel bombing."
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: He's starting to bankroll terrorists. Did you see the manifest for the Pulau?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's on my list. Why?
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: Among other things, she's carrying 20,000 pounds of ammonium nitrate. Fertilizer.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Mixed with the fuel from their tanks...
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: It'll make the Oklahoma City bombing look like a firecracker.

Lt. Gregory Vukovic: You look pretty good in leather.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's neoprene.


"JAG: Critical Condition (#8.1)" (2002)
Harm: [On board the USS Guadalcanal waiting for the outcome of Bud's surgery] Just once I'd like you not to have a comeback.
Mac: I don't have one to Bud's dying.

P.O. Jennifer Coates: I had my back to him when I heard the explosion. When I got to him, he was covered with blood, and his right leg was gone. I put on a tourniquet, but it wouldn't stop bleeding. All I could do was get him out to the helo as fast as possible.
Mac: Well, it sounds like you saved his life, petty officer.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: Not if he doesn't make it.
Harm: He'll make it. He'll make it.


"JAG: Webb of Lies (#4.14)" (1999)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Don't try to get into Palmer's head, Harm. It's not a nice place to be.

Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Mac can't sleep /staying in Harm's apartment] Would you mind if I stripped it down?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [turns around puzzled] What did you say?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Would you mind if I stripped your pistol down? It'd give me something to do.


"JAG: Contemptuous Words (#5.9)" (1999)
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: [as Mac's storing some semen in the fridge for a client] So it's a do-it-yourself kit, right?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [rising up] EXCUSE ME?

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [as she's storing some sperm in Bud and Harriet's fridge] I do want to have children.
Lt. Harriet Sims: Hey, women do it all the time.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, I guess I'll give the intact organisms a few more years.
Lt. Harriet Sims: Men?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Men.


"JAG: The Four Percent Solution (#10.10)" (2004)
Lt. Cmdr. Vera McCool: [about Mac's breakup with Webb] Do you feel guilty about what happened?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm an alcoholic. I feel guilty about everything.

[Mac is asking for something to help her insomnia]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You have no intention of writing me that prescription, do you?
Lt. Cmdr. Vera McCool: No, Colonel. I would have if you hadn't revealed your alcoholism. I won't, as a rule, prescribe medication to those with a history of substance abuse.


"JAG: Dream Team (#10.21)" (2005)
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: So, the dolphin did come back?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Apparently.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: What's going to be the charge?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sturgis hasn't decided yet.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Hasn't decided what?
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Oh, sir. You've got to hear this. It's ridiculous.
[off Mac's look]
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: In a serious sort of way, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm representing Seaman Apprentice Charles Bander. He released two Navy dolphins from a marine mammal deployment center.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Why?
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: They think he did it on porpoise, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He felt he owed them a debt.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: You know, kind of a squid pro quo, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He was caught by one of the trainers in the dolphins' pen with a bucket of fish.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Red herring, probably. You know, trying to avoid pursuit.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: One more fish joke, and I'll have you filleted.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What happened to the dolphins?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, they, uh, came back on their own.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: What would you charge him with, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, there's, uh, Article 96: Releasing a prisoner without authorization.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You enjoying yourselves?
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: [entering] Room for one more?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, if you promise no fish jokes.
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: Oh, not even one, just for the halibut?

[last lines]
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: I'd like to table our regular order of business. There's been a new development. With the, uh, CNO and commandant's blessing, SECNAV is standing up a prototype Joint Legal Service Center. Navy and Marine lawyers in the field under one command. Colonel MacKenzie... you've been selected for command of that unit. Your orders.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sir, I... I don't know what to say.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: It's Joint Legal Service Center Southwest. You'll be stationed in San Diego.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: San Diego, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it's, uh, only five hours away.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Wouldn't make my vacation plans just yet, Commander. Hope you like Yorkshire pudding.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Force Judge Advocate, Naval Forces Europe?
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: You'll be stationed in London. You have two days' travel, four days' proceed. By the way, it's a captain's billet. The 0-6 board just reported out. Frocking's been authorized. Congratulations, Captain Rabb.


"JAG: The Black Jet (#4.10)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Major Sarah MacKenzie, meet Lt Commander Jack Keeter, the SECOND best pilot I know.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: The CAG being the best.

Minister Nassan: A personal correspondence from Commander Ketter to his father. I pass it on as evidence that we are civilized.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: This letter has been resealed, sir.
Minister Nassan: It's Iranian glue, it never sticks.


"JAG: Soul Searching (#4.22)" (1999)
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: A car is strictly transportation to me. I don't *need* it to define my sexuality.
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Well, otherwise you'd be driving a Humvee.

Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Why don't you, uh, come with me and pick out w new car with Harriett and Bud?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Uh - Isn't that something *Jordy* should be doing?
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [scoffs] Mac, you pick out a car with your girlfriend, you might as well buy her a ring!


"JAG: Lifeline (#6.22)" (2001)
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [after recalling when Brumby defended his client by blaming Mac] He had to say that he was defending his client.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: He was right.
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: About me being guilty?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: About some people being in love with you.
[cut to commercial]

Mac: What do you want?
Harm: I want a lot of things.
Mac: What do you want the most?
Harm: The thing I want most... is to never lose you.


"JAG: Boomerang: Part 1 (#5.15)" (2000)
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Mac thinks Brumby's trying to lure her to Austrailia] He's behind this!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: No he's not. He asked for Rabb and Roberts.

Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Very Nice! The bikini, that is.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, I knew that's what you meant.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Yeah, but you're in Australia, Mac. Wear an Aussie bikini.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm afraid to ask.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Ah, no worries. It's a two piece, hat and a bottom.


"JAG: Retreat, Hell (#6.16)" (2001)
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: He said you were actually fair.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Well you're going to marry him, so it's only natural for us to get along.
Lt Bud Roberts jr: Sir, about that M.R.I...

Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [Harm is fantasizing that Mac is dressed in a slinky dress] It's going to rain this afternoon. Perfect weather for making love.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: [holding an ice pack to his head] Well, you would know, sweet thing.
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [comes around the side his desk dressed in her uniform] Harm? Harm? Are you ok?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: I'm fine.
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You called me sweet thing.
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: Well, why would I call you that.


"JAG: In Country (#7.23)" (2002)
Mac: Marines don't duck, we take cover.

[Harm and Mac have just escaped from a land mine]
Harm: How did you know that would work?
Mac: I saw it in a movie.
Harm: WHAT? You just trusted our lives to something you saw in a movie?


"JAG: The Stalker (#3.17)" (1998)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [about her drunken rant at Harm] I said some horrible things to you.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [brushing it off] I've had worse things said. Forget about that.

Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What are you doing?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Calling you a cab.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harmon Rabb, Jr. So righteous. So pure. You never had a weak moment in your life, did you?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm going to wait outside.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, wait a minute. I forgot. Yeah, you have had weak moments, of course. Your long lost father. Neurotic Annie.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know you're not just a drunk. You're a mean drunk.


"JAG: Capital Crime (#7.12)" (2002)
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: Why can't you two just get over it?
Mac: Because I'm in *love* with him!

Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: [speaking of Harm] Have you slept with him?
Mac: No!
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: Is that the problem?
Mac: NO!
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: Why can't you just get past it and move on?
Mac: Wouldn't work.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: Why?
Mac: Because I'm in *love* with him!


"JAG: We the People (#2.1)" (1997)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I keep forgetting I don't know you.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Deja vu again?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Only whenever I see your face, or I hear you talk. I wouldn't know about your smile; I haven't seen one yet.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: There's not much to smile about.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I guess not.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sounds like I have a twin out there.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not anymore.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Colonel O'Hara is your uncle and you didn't tell me?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I thought you knew and were playing it cagey.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm not that devious, Mac.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, well, somebody is. I got pulled off a double murder case to work this investigation and I doubt it was because of my vast experience with mail holdups in Arizona.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it wasn't the admiral. He shoots straight from the shoulder. Webb, on the other hand, is probably devious taking a leak.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Harm pulls out his cell phone] Who are you calling?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Admiral Chegwidden.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Wait a minute. What happens when you tell the admiral that Colonel O'Hara's my uncle?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: He'll ask you where he might be.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And I'll refuse to answer.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I wouldn't do that, Mac. Not to Admiral Chegwidden. He's liable to charge you with dereliction of duty.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And he'd have every right. So please, don't make the call.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Then I'll be the one withholding information.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: If Webb and that FBI SWAT team get a hold of him, who knows what'll happen? So far, no one's been hurt. Give me a chance to keep it that way.


"JAG: Baby, It's Cold Outside (#6.11)" (2001)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What do you have do to get a plaque?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's for good behavior. So you don't have to worry about it.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, Commander, I checked the police blotter and didn't see your name, so you must've behaved.
[to Mac]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Why does he listen to *you* and not *me*?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Just lucky I guess.


"JAG: Goodbyes (#4.24)" (1999)
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Did you think you'd sneak away without saying "goodbye?"
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Why "goodbye" not "good luck?"
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Didn't I say that to you when I was *stupid* enough to leave JAG?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: Yes, you did.
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You said you were happy for me.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: I was. But that was different, you were in love.
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: And you're not?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: What has love got to do with anything?

Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Damn it. I have *so* much I want to say to you, but I can't - can't find the words.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: I know.
Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Damn you. Why am *I* the only one crying?


"JAG: Jaggle Bells (#4.11)" (1998)
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [being introduced to Chloe] You can call me Bud.
Chloe Madison: Butt? What's that short for? Butt-Ugly?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: CHLOE!
Chloe Madison: Hey. It's just a joke. I'm just trying to break the ice here.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, you broke it! Now you're sinking in it.

[regarding Chloe's stepfather's abusive girlfriend]
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We had a little chat, girlfriend to Marine, I don't think there'll be any more problems.


"JAG: The Game of Go (#2.10)" (1997)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: What they say about Gold Wings and Dress Whites? *Highly* overrated!


"JAG: First Casualty (#7.19)" (2002)
Lt. Loren Singer: [Talking about Lt Roberts] I bust my butt and he baby-sits his kid.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Nothing wrong with being a family-man, Lieutenant.
Lt. Loren Singer: Or playing your family for all they're worth, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Bud doesn't play his family, Lieutenant.
Lt. Loren Singer: [sighs in exasperation] Maybe I should get a dog.
[walks away]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr., Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Mac and Rabb pause a second, then simultaneously] Pit-Bull!
[They share a look of amusement and both chuckle]


"JAG: Someone to Watch Over Annie (#3.12)" (1998)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [sashaying up to a guard] Hey.
Guard 1: Nice boots.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Thanks.
[takes out the guard with a swift kick to the head]
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I hate it when guys stare at my boots.


"JAG: Guilt (#7.4)" (2001)
[Mac just saved a corporal, who is guilty of rape, from an angry mob]
Cpl. Lassiter: Thank you, Colonel.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [with disgust] I don't want your thanks, Corporal! You're a DISGRACE to that uniform!
Gunnery Sgt. Victor 'Gunny' Galindez: [to the Marine guards] Get him out of here!


"JAG: Silent Service (#4.16)" (1999)
Cmdr. John Flagler: Do you two always work this well together?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: When he lets me do all the talking.


"JAG: Measure of Men (#7.3)" (2001)
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: [speaking of Mic] He gave up his career and country for me! Are you willing to give up your GIRLFRIEND?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb jr: What are you willing to give up?
Lt Colonel Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Answer my question first!


"JAG: Drop Zone (#5.20)" (2000)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [Rabb is dreaming Rene and Mac are Kickboxing] Ladies to your corners!
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You go to YOUR corner, HORMONE!


"JAG: Ready or Not (#8.8)" (2002)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: With any other judge, I'd have won this case days ago.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: I'm sorry I'm not complying with your schedule.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Every time I work in an advantage, you slap me down.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: Because you ask for it.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You're relentless, you know that?
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: Hmm. So I've heard. I'm the hanging judge. The source of all your problems, right?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: That's right. But... though it pains me to admit, you're good. You don't let me get away with the stuff I pull on other judges. You really do know my playbook. Most of all, though, Mac... you know the law. And I hate you for it.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: I'll take that as a compliment.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Good. Just remember this magnanimity when I'm on the bench, okay?


"JAG: Imposter (#3.20)" (1998)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr: [after Mac pinches Harm's face] What was that for?
Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Just checking. One Harmon Rabb in my life is enough.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: MORE than enough!


"JAG: Death at the Mosque (#10.18)" (2005)
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Any word from Commander Rabb?
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: No, sir. I've tried to reach him several times, but I keep getting voice mail.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: I understand this young girl is like a daughter to him. Tell him to take all the time he needs.


"JAG: Hail and Farewell: Part 1 (#9.23)" (2004)
Mac: You know, men seem to pass through my life... except for you. Will you always be there?
Harm: Yes.
[Harm turns to face Mac]
Mac: Well then you need to know what the doctor told me...
[Camera zooms out and shows Harm reaching for Mac's hand]
Mac: [screen fades out]


"JAG: Tiger, Tiger (#3.18)" (1998)
Annie Pendry: Has Harm ever lied to you?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He's... mislead me.


"JAG: To Russia with Love (#3.24)" (1998)
Hotel Desk Clerk: Does your friend have a reservation?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No. Is that a problem.
Hotel Desk Clerk: Problem, yes. We have no vacancies.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well I suppose we could share.
Hotel Desk Clerk: You share room, you pay double.
[Speaking in Russian to another clerk]
Hotel Desk Clerk: If he can afford this bimbo, he can afford double.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Mac responds in Russian. Harm pulls out his translation book] It's not in the book.


"JAG: People v. Gunny (#5.17)" (2000)
Lt. Harriet Sims: Here are the photos for your office, sir. Sorry there's no pictures of naked breasts. I know how you like to gawk at them.
[hands Bud some envelopes]
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: I don't want to gawk at naked breasts. I want to gawk at yours...
Lt. Harriet Sims: [apoplectic] Did HE just say what I THINK he said, Ma'am!
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sorry, Harriet. I missed it.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: I'll go hang these... , then myself.


"JAG: Into the Breech (#5.12)" (2000)
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Colonel, Commander, correct me if I'm wrong, didn't I advise you to drop the investigation?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It - It wasn't our investigation to drop, sir.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: It wasn't?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: No sir, we were... simply sitting second chair.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Hmm... Oh, uh, almost forgot. Commander can you be at the Washington Momument at 1700?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: The Washington Momument at 1700, sir? Why?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: I think she called it the magic hour. Ms Peterson, she says the light is just perfect.


"JAG: Body Talk (#5.24)" (2000)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Come by my office when you're done here.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: I *am* done.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: [looks back in the courtroom then turns back to Coulter] Think about it.
[leaves]
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: You forgave your father?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: Was it hard?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It took me a while.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: What did you say to him?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Nothing. He was in a coma by the time I was ready.
[Coulter goes into the court room and approaches her father]
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: Hi.
Capt. Thomas Chaddock: Hi.


"JAG: Hard Time (#9.19)" (2004)
Private Michelle Boyer: You ever regret putting someone away, ma'am?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No.
[Boyer slugs Mac]
Private Michelle Boyer: Well, there's always a first time!


"JAG: Crossing the Line (#2.5)" (1997)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Your report states that you grounded Lieutenant Isaacs after a substandard landing. The LSO log indicates: OSCB, EGAR, DNKH.
Captain Thomas Boone: That it does.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Would you mind telling me what those acronyms mean?
Captain Thomas Boone: OSCB, Over Shot Came Back. EGAR, Eased Gun At Ramp.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What about, uh... DNKH?
Captain Thomas Boone: That's the technical one, Major. Damn Near Killed Herself.


"JAG: Real Deal SEAL (#5.23)" (2000)
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I just hope you're not working on one of Rivers' crazy schemes.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You know me Mac.


"JAG: Yesterday's Heroes (#3.15)" (1998)
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [seeing Mac in her swimsuit] Permission to speak freely, Mam.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Of course.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: WOW!


"JAG: Surface Warfare (#5.25)" (2000)
Bud: [to Harriet over the phone] You cannot wear a dress stolen from Madonna!
Mac: [off to the side, to Harm] We taught him well, didn't we?


"JAG: Legacy: Part 2 (#6.2)" (2000)
[after witnessing Harm and Sergei arguing]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You two really *are* brothers!


"JAG: Retrial (#10.3)" (2004)
[a polygamist's wives are asking Mac to drop the charges against him]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Did you put them up to that?
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts, Jr.: I wish I 'd thought of it!


"JAG: The Mission (#7.16)" (2002)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How'd you know where I was?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Where else would you be on a carrier during ops?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: In the front seat of an F-14.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Not this trip.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I can dream.


"JAG: Offensive Action (#8.6)" (2002)
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm not a chauvinist.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No, your not.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, thank you...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You're arrogant, which can be misinterpreted as chauvinism.


"JAG: Adrift: Part 1 (#6.24)" (2001)
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Last time I did this I was 18... and drunk.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Last time I did it, I was 24 and sober; same results. Learn from your mistakes and move on, right?
Major Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Ah, sir, you've, uh, never remarried.
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Oh, I'm talking about you. Good Lord! Don't use ME as a barometer, for ANYTHING!


"JAG: Exculpatory Evidence (#7.17)" (2002)
Lt. Loren Singer: It isn't fair! I bust my ass trying to do the best possible job while he gets to use that kid of his as an excuse to slack off! Hmph! Maybe *I* should get a dog!
[after Singer is out of earshot]
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb, Jr., Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [to each other] Pit Bull!


"JAG: Ice Queen (#8.20)" (2003)
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: NCIS has discovered the remains of an unidentified JAG lieutenant in Potomac Park. Medical examiner estimates she's between four and five months pregnant.
Lt. Harriet Sims: Oh, my Lord, sir, I hope it's not Lieutenant Singer.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it can't be Lieutenant Singer. She's due in two weeks.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Have you been in contact with the lieutenant?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, I... Uh, no, sir. Not since she left three months ago. I was, uh... estimating.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm's right, sir. It couldn't be Loren. I mean the medical examiner wouldn't mis-estimate by four months.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: He hasn't conducted the autopsy yet. I assume the body's somewhat decomposed.
[knock on door]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Enter.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Excuse me, Admiral. I tried Lieutenant Singer's San Diego number and her cell phone, sir. Both have been disconnected, Admiral.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Thank you, Tiner.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Aye, aye, sir.
[Tiner exits]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, that doesn't look good.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, you're not writing her off, are you, sir?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You know, Commander, I may not personally know all seven hundred and fifty JAG officers under my command, but I damn sure would know if one was missing for three weeks.


"JAG: Fortunate Son (#8.18)" (2003)
Cmdr. Ted Lindsey: [after going on a tirade, Lindsey grabs Mac roughly, then lets her go] I'm sorry.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You touch me like that again and you WILL be.


"JAG: Rules of Engagement (#5.2)" (1999)
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: Ask the Commander, he'll tell you ma'am.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Tell me what?
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: What I did, why I did it. He understands, I told him what happened.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: You told him everything?
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: Yes, ma'am.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Well then, you just added him to my witness list.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Wait a minute...
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: You can't do that!
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Actually, I can.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes, she can, but she really doesn't want to.
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: Because Commander Rabb, is my *lawyer*.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: WHAT?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: I thought you quit JAG?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I did quit JAG! I can't be your lawyer!
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: You already are, sir. I told you things confidentidentially, and you gave me legal advice?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: He did? YOU DID!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Uh, well uh, maybe a little.
Lt. 'X-Man' Buxton: You're my man, Pappy.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie: Well, PAPPY, I'll be seeing you in court!


"JAG: Fighting Words (#9.20)" (2004)
Admiral Chegwidden: [Harm and Mac are constantly saying the opposite of each other] Can the two of you agree on anything?
Mac: [simultaneously] Yes.
Harm: No.


"JAG: Pas de Deux (#8.23)" (2003)
Mac: Men come and go, they lose their hair, their looks, but diamonds stay hard forever.


"JAG: Empty Quiver (#8.17)" (2003)
P.O. Jason Tiner: Sir, there's a dog in the hallway.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Yes, she's with me.
[loudly]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Come here, Damn it.
[Dog enters the room]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Sit, Damn it.
[dog sits down. Tiner leaves and closes the door]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You named the dog, Damn it?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: The name kind of found itself.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Damn it?
[Dog rises up and knocks over the folders on the desk]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, damn it.


"JAG: New Gun in Town (#7.2)" (2001)
Albert Jethro Chegwidden: Colonel, take the Gunney with you.
Sarah MacKenzie: I can take care of myself, Admiral.
Albert Jethro Chegwidden: Oh, I know it's the marines aboard the Guadalcanal I want to protect.


"JAG: Port Chicago (#7.20)" (2002)
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I need to ask you both a question. If you murder co-counsel in the courtroom, can you cop an insanity plea?
Lt. Harriet Sims: [simultaneously with Harm] Absolutely.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yes.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I thought so.


"JAG: People vs. SecNav (#9.14)" (2004)
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Colonel, Commander.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Bud, what's wrong?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Little A.J. He's missing.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: What?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Mikey took him to the mall, and he disappeared.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, how long has it been?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: About eight hours.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm sure he'll turn up.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Do you want to fly home?
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: I don't know, sir. I... I don't want to desert you. You have the Secretary-General testifying tomorrow...
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Just leave us all your research material. We'll manage.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [close to tears] They'll find him by the time that I get home, right?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Of course they will.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: And if they don't, and he...
[Bud stops, and composes himself]
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Permission to return home, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Permission granted.
Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Thank you, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Call us.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Good luck, Bud.


"JAG: Impact (#3.9)" (1997)
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: I'm getting doors slammed in my face all over town! I've got a weapons program manager telling me DSD is not my concern! But I got people in the field, JAGs that I support, so I keep pressing, hoping that I can find the truth; so you can imagine my chagrin when I learned that not one, but TWO of my officers have been caught TRESPASSING!
Lt Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: I am sorry, Admiral. We were following an unidentified... aircraft, sir, that we believe to have been involved in the crash.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Unidentified aircraft, as in UFO?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You're spending too much time in the desert with Lieutenant Roberts!


"JAG: The Witches of Gulfport (#5.21)" (2000)
CPO Lane Merker: How can I help?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What can you do?
CPO Lane Merker: What do you like?


"JAG: The Iron Coffin (#6.15)" (2001)
Captain Baxter: Do you two always work this well together?
Mac: When he lets me do the talking.