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Quotes for
Tim Smith (Character)
from "One Tree Hill" (2003)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"One Tree Hill: Near Wild Heaven (#2.3)" (2004)
Tim Smith: Hey, Nathan, what do you think? Thai? Mexican? Chinese is always good...
Haley James: Tim, you just ate. How is it possible that you're still hungry?
Tim Smith: I'm not ordering food, i'm ordering strippers.

Tim Smith: [to Nathan] Are you sure you know this guy?
Nathan Scott: He works with me at Hot & Twisted
[pretzel stand at the mall]
Nathan's colleague: Great, even the losers don't know me.
Tim Smith: Just read the damn quiz.
Nathan's colleague: [sigh] When your boyfriend kisses you, he a:...
Lucas 'Luke' Scott: What the hell are you reading?
Tim Smith: Cosmo Girl, go on...
Nathan's colleague: When your boyfriend kisses you, he a: looks deeply into your eyes, b: closes his eyes, c: cradles your head softly, d: unhooks your bra.
Tim Smith: It's D, it's definitley D. You go for the bra.
Nathan Scott: Now, Tim, you realise you're supposed to be answering as a girl?
Tim Smith: I know, and i'd want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to go under my shirt!
Lucas 'Luke' Scott: And hopefully someday you'll find him.

Tim Smith: Dude, smell me.
Nathan Scott: Dude, kiss my ass.
Tim Smith: No, seriously. I wanna smell nice for the... talent that's coming over.
Nathan Scott: Tim, just say the stripper.
Tim Smith: Fine, the stripper. Alright... Which one makes me smell available? I've got "Flesh" on this side and this "Frink" stuff on this side.
Nathan Scott: That's not mine.
Tim Smith: Well, it was in your bathroom.
Haley James: [walks in] Oh, Tim, what are you doing with my perfume?
[takes it]

Tim Smith: She's here! Stripper time!
[Runs to open the door. Lucas stands behind it]
Tim Smith: Oh, it's just you.
Lucas 'Luke' Scott: Not the thrill it used to be, huh?

Tim Smith: Oh, sweet, they're in costume. Did my brother deliver or what?
Officer Bernstein: We witnessed a keg being brought up to his apartment? Are you boys of age?
Officer Grasso: Let's see some ID.
Tim Smith: Let's see some hot girl!
[Tim smacks the officer's ass. They grab his arms and push him up against a window]
Tim Smith: Damn these strippers are strong! I can feel your breasts against my back!
Officer Bernstein: Better yet! Forget the keg. Arrest the perv.
Tim Smith: Ow! You're hurting me! Does that cost extra?

Tim Smith: I can see your thong strap, foxy brown!


"One Tree Hill: I Will Dare (#2.5)" (2004)
Felix Taggaro: Well, well. With the other dares, it appears to be a tie.
Tim Smith: Oh no, oh no, wait. Don't forget this. Shows Felix the picture from the golf course.
Felix Taggaro: Dude! What the hell are you doing?
Tim Smith: It says it right here on the dare card
Felix Taggaro: Man, that's a typo. It's supposed to say, "Take a shot in the second hole."

Nathan Scott: Well, this is it. Massage and Spa.
Tim Smith: What's the back say?
Nathan Scott: Ask for the special.
Tim Smith: It's the happy ending!
[eagerly rings the bell]


"One Tree Hill: The Search for Something More (#1.8)" (2003)
[Haley and Nathan are on a date, Tim and some buddies walk up]
Tim Smith: Hey Nathan, what's up man?
[looks at Haley]
Nathan Scott: Hey guys, you know Haley, she's my tutor...
Tim Smith: This looks a lot like a date to me
Nathan Scott: No man, definitely not
Tim Smith: All right, see you later
[leaves]
Nathan Scott: I'm sorry about that...
Haley James: [cutting Nathan off] Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? And why are you only nice to me when we're alone?
Nathan Scott: It's just...
Haley James: ...You know, for an hour you almost got me to believe that you're not a son of a bitch but, God, you fooled me again.

Jake Jaglieski: Sorry I'm late, Coach.
Coach Whitey Durham: Why should today be any different, Jageilski? Move your ass. The rest of you ladies start defense drills, pronto.
[walk out]
Nathan: Why is coach so easy on you, Jageilski?
Tim Smith: If I'm late I get wind sprints.
Jake Jaglieski: We party together.
Tim Smith: Maybe they're lovers.
Nathan: [to Tim and Jake] Why, did you two break up?
[Nathan and Tim leave]
Lucas: So, anyway, man, what's the deal? What's going on? You know, you're out sick all the time, and you come in late and cut out early. I don't understand. Coach just lets you.
Jake Jaglieski: [getting changed] Just helping me out.
Lucas: Meaning?
Jake Jaglieski: Meaning he's just helping me out.
Lucas: All right.
[Lucas leaves and Jake leans against his locker and sighs]


"One Tree Hill: Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends (#3.7)" (2005)
Tim Smith: We know you girls had fantasy date picks. Now who picked me?


"One Tree Hill: Truth Doesn't Make a Noise (#2.2)" (2004)
Tim Smith: What's this lame-ass joke about you guys getting married?
Peyton: He's in shock now that you're officially off the market.
Brooke: It's true, Tim. Haley's preggers.
Haley James Scott: Brooke!
Tim Smith: Right - and Lucas moved away.
[Lucas gives him a quick look, but doesn't say anything]
Tim Smith: You guys gotta do better if you're gonna get one over on the Tim.


"One Tree Hill: I've Got Dreams to Remember (#3.12)" (2006)
Tim Smith: Awe. He's 86'd yo.
Dan Scott: Just say he's dead Tim.


"One Tree Hill: Life in a Glass House (#1.7)" (2003)
Tim Smith: So how exactly do you think you're gonna pull this off?
Brooke: Bartender's love me, watch this. Ahem...
Female Bartender: Ha... Soda or juice?
Brooke: Actually I was gonna ask you if you knew how to make a screaming orgasm?
Female Bartender: For a pretty girl like you?
[grabs a glass and starts mixing the drink]
Female Bartender: So what is this thing for anyway?
Brooke: Raven's basketball...
Female Bartender: And what position do you play?
Brooke: Cheerleader.
Female Bartender: Hmm, Cheerleaders and Jock's, there's gonna be a lot of hormones running around tonight.
[hands Brooke the glass]
Female Bartender: Don't go around advertising.
Brooke: Secret's safe with me.
[walks away]
Tim Smith: I'll have what she's having...
Female Bartender: Soda or Juice?
[Tim leaves and the bartender rolls her eyes]