No Photo Available
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Col. John T. Hall (Character)
from "The Phil Silvers Show" (1955)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Sgt. Bilko (1996)
Major Ebersole: Well, theoretically, and I wouldn't bet the farm, the hover tank will lift off and hover several inches above the pond.
Colonel Hall: Good. Very good.
Major Ebersole: Yeah. Then it will engage the targets. The cannon, boom, the ammunition dump, kaboom, that truck, boom.
Colonel Hall: Excellent. Though, one thought. Maybe it should be boom, boom, *then* kaboom. You know, save that kaboom for the very last, kind of like a hoo-ah grand finale. What do you think, Major?
Major Ebersole: [stares at him] I'll make a note of it, sir.

Colonel Hall: What is that?
Bilko: [nonchalantly] That's horse shit, sir. I tell the men "You have to test-drive the vehicles"...
Colonel Hall: What's it doing there?
Bilko: It keeps the flies off the food, sir. There's no way you can tell what wrong with an engine when it's just sitting on the block...
Colonel Hall: Off the food?
Bilko: It's an experimental program, I'd say the results are mixed.
[Hall then notices the live horse from the tug-of-war that's been hoisted up above them]
Sgt. Barbella: It's a lot cheaper than sending out for it, sir.
Sgt. Henshaw: And fresher too.

[Major Thorn is doing a surprise inspection of the barracks, so just before he arrived Bilko quickly moved his men out of their untidy living quarters to another platoon's next door and switched the signs around]
Major Thorn: [holding up some ladies underwear he's found in the closet] Are these yours?
Sgt. Henshaw: It is my understanding that you can longer ask me these questions, sir.
Colonel Hall: It's a new army, Major. We're all adjusting.

Colonel Hall: Very good. As you were.
[the men just stand there]
Bilko: He means go back to what you were doing.

Cpl. Jefferson: The Pentagon called, sir.
Colonel Hall: Pentagon? How did they get my number?

"The Phil Silvers Show: Bilko's Small Car (#4.30)" (1959)
Col. John T. Hall: [furious after uncovering Bilko's latest con] All my life, I've dreamt of becoming General Hall. In two days, you've become General Motors!

"The Phil Silvers Show: The Court Martial (#1.25)" (1956)
[Harry, the chimp, is being defended by Bilko at his court martial trial]
Col. John T. Hall: Bilko, this time, I think you've gone too far!
MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: Sir, I hate to give this trouble to the court...
Pvt. Harry Speakup: [abruptly leaves defense table and scampers to another table and picks up a telephone]
MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: [ad-libbing] Just a minute, sir. I think he's calling for another lawyer.

"The Phil Silvers Show: Bilko's Casino (#4.32)" (1959)
[Col. Hall does not believe Bilko's reason why he and four of his men are in sickbay]
Col. John T. Hall: You mean, you all just happened to get indigestion together?
MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: You see, sir, we believe it's Sgt. Ritzik's fault, sir. Last night he served us veal ragù, and I think he put too much rag and not enough goo in it, sir.

"The Phil Silvers Show: The Twitch (#1.13)" (1955)
Captain Whitney: [trying to solve Fort Baxter's gambling problem] Colonel, have you a woodworking shop on the post?
Col. John T. Hall: We had one. The men worked like beavers for one week.
Captain Whitney: Really? What did they build?
Col. John T. Hall: A crap table.