No Photo Available
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Chris Thorne (Character)
from Nothing But Trouble (1991)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Nothing But Trouble (1991)
Chris Thorne: Come on, death for running a stop sign?
J.P.: *And* for being a banker! That's the double death.

Diane Lightson: [passing "No Cussing" sign] Oh, and no cussing.
Chris Thorne: Oh, shit.

Chris Thorne: They're Brazillionaires, they have breakfast at 2pm in the afternoon.

Diane Lightson: Let's just be quiet and let him do his little thing and we'll be on our way.
J.P.: Oh, I will let you be on your way, and when you go...
Chris Thorne: Ok, we'll listen!
J.P.: [calm again] Hey, hey, ha! Ho ha! Heh heh heh heh! Hoola, Hoola, Hoola! The Boola Boola Boola! Look who's got the front seats to the Mexican hat dance now! Just like a bunch of spiders in a birthday cake!

J.P.: Welcome to Supper! How 'bout a nice Hawaiian Punch?
Chris Thorne: Thank you, Judge. You know, there's nothing better at the end of a long day on the road than a nice warm glass of Hawaiian Punch.

Chris Thorne: Alvin, I was just thinking you've got enough vintage steel around here to make a few thousand Toyotas. Ever think of selling the whole place to the Japanese?
J.P.: There you go. Does the Pope wear a hat? Was Sergeant York's mother an angel? And will a banker grope for money?
Chris Thorne: I'm not a banker, I'm a financial publisher.
J.P.: Well, all I know is in '17 after they shipped me off to fight, some New York financier rolled in here one day and hog-glowsered and tub-wankled my grandfather into mining out the whole town in exchange for shares in something called the United Coke Company. Do you know what those stock certificates are worth today?
J.P.: JUST ABOUT THE FINEST OUTHOUSE WALLPAPER YOU'VE EVER SEEN! We were forced to become what you drove through today; a burnt out coal field and the biggest icebox graveyard this side of the Ohio foundry belt! And that's why I *never* let a banker go!
Fausto: So your grandpa made a lousy deal, is that our problem?
Diane Lightson: Judge, that's a very tragic, tragic story.
J.P.: I believe it is.
Renalda: You should do a book.

Mike the Doorman: Evening, Mr. Thorne.
Chris Thorne: [getting out of the car] 110 blocks in less than 15 minutes, not bad for a one-eyed Russian immigrant.

Fausto: Where are we going?
Chris Thorne: We're going to Atlantic City, Fausto. Get in the trunk.

Chris Thorne: I should have known. A Brazillionaire never forgets.

Chris Thorne: You may kiss the bride.
Chris Thorne: Oh, not in front of all these people, your honor.
J.P.: [yelling] NOW!

J.P.: No choice now but house policy.
J.P.: Fine, house policy! *What's* house policy?
Chris Thorne: Well, whatever man she touches is the one she keeps!
Chris Thorne: Aw, no!
[Eldona carries him off happily]
Chris Thorne: Oh, come on, all I did run a goddamn stoplight! I just want to get to Atlantic City!

J.P.: You might be interested to know that you are *not* under the jurisdiction of just any old fishing license dispenser and stamp pad jockey! We've always been set to deal with the offenders *once* and for all at their first appearance! Quick as sump grease through a ten-year old goose!
Chris Thorne: Congratulations, I'm glad to know thing are running smoothly for you.
[lights a cigar]

[passing two dirty bikers]
Chris Thorne: Evil Knievel and Mr. Clean.

[passing by three half-buried dolphin statues]
Chris Thorne: So that's where they buried Flipper.
Fausto, Renalda: Flipper is dead?

Miss Purdah: [Chris is chained and Eldona is trying on outfits before him] Eldona, you know he's not supposed to see you this special day?
Chris Thorne: Special day? What is it - Halloween?

[passing a group of hillbillies]
Chris Thorne: Morning. Sell pork bellies, buy gold.

Chris Thorne: What are you saying, it's death or Eldona?

Diane Lightson: [after insulting the Reeve and falling in a chamber of squeaky toys, she punches him] How could you be so insensitive?
Chris Thorne: What do you mean? What are you talking about?
Renalda: Fausto, you better do something about this!
Fausto: Niña, you're pulling on my coat, now cool it!
Diane Lightson: I had us out of here! Then you had to go and open your big mouth!
[pulls toy out of her shirt]
Diane Lightson: *You* had us out of here? We would've been here another two hours listening to the history of the Valkenburger farm or wherever the hell we are!
Diane Lightson: I knew that I couldn't depend on you!
Chris Thorne: Listen, I don't need this! I was just trying to get us to Atlantic City... for YOU!
Diane Lightson: [sarcastic] Oh, is that right?
Chris Thorne: Yeah!
Fausto: You're no longer our financial advisor! You're fired!
Diane Lightson, Chris Thorne: [to Fausto] SHUT UP!

Chris Thorne: [after being stopped by Dennis, a police officer] Folks, meet Andy Griffith!

J.P.: [asking about Chris' job] Banker?
Chris Thorne: No, not banker. Financial publisher. "Thorne Weekly"?
J.P.: Ok, banker.

Chris Thorne: Thanks for the espresso maker... and the bag of shit.

Diane Lightson: How long have you been divorced?
Chris Thorne: Four years.
Diane Lightson: Do you still love her.
Chris Thorne: Nah, been over her for... weeks.

Chris Thorne: Fun is actually knowing who half your guests are.

J.P.: [asking Chris if he takes Eldona to be his wife]
Chris Thorne: [stuttering] I di...
J.P.: Pardon?
Chris Thorne: [stuttering] bu...
J.P.: What?
Chris Thorne: [stuttering] I can'...
J.P.: Speak up!
Chris Thorne: [sweating] I do. I do.