IMDb > Gene (Character) > Quotes
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Gene (Character)
from Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Gene: Now, we need to make 8 gallons of bug juice by snack hour; do you know where the powder packets are?
Gary: [irritated] Yeah.
Gene: In the pantry, above the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream... Uh, wait, forget that last part.
Gary: Did you say dick cream?
Gene: No! I said next to my... stick... team, you know, stick team! Stickball! Go away, leave me alone!

[Coop is sobbing, Gene appears from nowhere]
Gene: Be proud of who you are.
Coop: Huh? Gene?
Gene: Shh... it isn't about the girl, Coop.
Coop: It isn't?
Gene: Well, it is. But see if you can follow me here... it
[long pause]
Gene: ... isn't.
Coop: Oh. So it is... and it isn't.
[pause, wind blows]
Gene: You are ready to be taught the new way.
Coop: Will you teach me about this - what is it? A new way?
[bird calls]

Gene: Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Gary: Come on - what?
Gene: Finish up the taters.
Gary: And then what did you say?
Gene: And then what did I say?
Gary: You said you were going to... fondle your sweaters.
Gene: Ah, uh - no I didn't. I said... fondue the cheddar... I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
Gary: No, Gene, that is *not* what you said.
Gene: That *is* what I said. Fondue cheddar.

"Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp: Dinner (#1.5)" (2015)
Jonas: [answers the phone] Mess Hal, Jonas Jurchinsen. Hello.
Victor: [disguising his voice] Yes, this is the Food Inspector. We've just received word that your food is contaminated with dick farts.
[Neil and Victor laughing in the background]
Jonas: What did you say?
Victor: I said your stupid kitchen food apparently has a dick in it and that dick has apparently farted and now your entire kitchen smells like dick farts.
[Neil makes fart noises]
Victor: [more laughter]
Jonas: This isn't the Food Inspector. The Food Inspector wouldn't call me at this time of day, who is this?
Victor: I'm gonna kill you and fuck you.
Jonas: Who is this?
Victor: It's your butt hole!
[attempts to hang up the phone and laughs hysterically, not noticing the phone falls off the hook]
Neil: Oh my God, Victor, that was awesome! Victor, do you think he knew it was you, Victor? Victor, do you think he knew it was you, Victor?
Jonas: [still listening on the other end] Victor Pulak.
Victor: [suddenly stops laughing and nervously picks up the phone] Hello... why don't you go fuck a s-soup?
Jonas: How bout I cook you, like a soup? I'll filter you through cheese cloth for stock and add fresh vegetables and grains. And once I'm done... I'm gonna kill you.
Victor: [to Neil] He said he's gonna kill me. Like a soup. I'm not sure what to do. Should I hang up? Should I say thank you?
Neil: No! No!
Victor: Thank you.
[hangs up]